by Jay, Libby
I looked nervously up at Fraser. “I like that one,” I said, pointing through the cabinet to a round cut diamond set on a band of white gold.
Fraser rolled his eyes. “Trusting you to select the smallest of the rings. Am I safe to assume it’s also the most inexpensive?”
The sales assistant smiled and nodded her head, very small nods.
“Pick again Piglet,” he said.
“Well…Fraser I don’t know. I like them all. They’re all beautiful. You pick one.”
“Pick one,” Fraser said directing my attention toward some of the more expensive rings.
“Fraser, I’m not comfortable doing this,” I said quietly.
The sales assistant made herself scarce.
“Piglet. Emily. Pick. A. Ring,” he said slowly.
“I just…” I looked up at him. “They’re too expensive.”
Fraser took my face in his hands. “Emily, I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t afford it. I want you to have a beautiful ring.”
“The first ring I picked was beautiful.”
“Pick another one.”
“Fine.” I turned to the counter again. I tried to ignore the small plaques with the prices. I looked only at the rings. There was one; it was stunning. A square cut cushion diamond surrounded in smaller diamonds. The band was white gold and the small diamonds continued into the band. I cringed when I sneaked a peek at the price. My BMW cost less.
“That one,” I said, pointing to the ring. I looked up at him. He was smiling. He looked over to the sales assistant and nodded.
“Does that ring come with a wedding band?” he asked.
“No,” I said.
“You’ll need a wedding band.”
The sales assistant pulled the engagement ring from the cabinet and three bands; one a plain white gold, and the other two a full circle beaded diamond in two sizes.
Fraser looked at me. “Which one?”
“Can you please pick?”
Fraser rolled his eyes and looked down at me. “Pick one.”
“The one in the middle,” I said, pointing to the thinner of the diamond bands.
“Was that so hard?” Fraser asked, smiling.
“Yes,” I said quietly. I’d just rendered Fraser $120,000 poorer.
I couldn’t watch him pay, I waited by the door.
Fraser’s proposal was low key, just the way I wanted it. I knew we were good friends, best friends. We loved being together. Fraser always told me he loved this or that about me. We laughed together a lot. We talked, we sat together in comfortable silences. We argued, I cried, Fraser rolled his eyes at me. We always apologised when we were wrong. We spent our nights curled into each other.
But he still hadn’t said he loved me.
And I was beginning to accept it.
So when he proposed, he did it just the way it should’ve been done. He didn’t get down on one knee, he didn’t express his undying love for me. He didn’t say anything. He simply pulled the ring from its box and slid it onto my finger. And just like that, I was affianced to Mr. Fraser Lewis. He smiled, kissed me and we made love on the couch.
The following morning I rang my mum to tell her, and then rang John and Kat.
A week later I was discussing flower arrangements for our engagement party. Mum and Mrs. Lewis chatted excitedly about their own engagement parties while I silently sipped wine.
Kat rented an apartment in Melbourne, having deferred from uni for a year so she could help me plan my wedding.
The wedding ball was rolling.
Two weeks after our April engagement party, Fraser and I flew up to Sydney for a week. Fraser had to work and I needed some time out from wedding planning.
It was a lazy Wednesday night. Fraser and I lay in the bath, me leaning against Fraser’s chest. Our feet slowly rubbed against each others.
“Remember the time I sent you the picture of my feet when I was in the bath,” I said.
Fraser chuckled. “I still have that photo.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You have no idea what that photo did to me. Right in the middle of the common room.”
I laughed. “You sent me back a blank message.”
“Yes I did.”
“I can’t believe you still have that photo. Is it in your phone still?”
“Yep, along with every photo you’ve ever sent me. I kept them all.”
I shook my head against his chest. This coming from a man who claims he doesn’t love me.
“Fraser.” My voice was small. “You love me, don’t you?”
He tightened his arms around me. “I love this moment, being here with you. I love all our moments together.”
But he still didn’t love me.
I changed the subject.
“How’s Chris?” Chris and Charlotte were in the middle of divorce proceedings, Charlotte having been in breach of her NDA by talking to her friend who was a reputable political journalist but had some disreputable connections in the gossip trade.
Their marriage would come to an end and she would walk away with nothing. The family were disappointed. I was devastated. Charlotte was the only one of Fraser’s sisters in law I had anything in common with.
“He’s fine,” Fraser said. “He never loved her. She was only in it for the money.” I felt his shoulders shrug.
“What made Chris choose her?”
Fraser sighed. “Seventeen million dollars.”
“What?”
“Seventeen million dollars,” he said again. “Her father sold his business to Chris for three million, but he knew it could be worth much more. In the year between their engagement and wedding, it doubled in value and two years after that Chris sold it for seventeen million.”
“Wow,” I said”
“Yeah. Last year the business went into liquidation.”
I closed my eyes and relaxed back into Fraser. “The world of business sucks.”
Fraser laughed. “For some it does. But not for me.”
“Not for the Lewis’ in general I’d say.”
Fraser kissed my shoulder. “I think I need another photo for my collection.” He reached beside the bath for his phone.
“What are you…”
“Feet up, Piglet,” he said as he positioned his phone in front of us.
I smiled as my red painted toenails appeared out of the bubbles, Fraser’s feet on either side. His phone focused and he snapped a shot.
“You know, you were right about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
He kissed my shoulder again and whispered, “What I was imagining was nowhere near as good as the real deal.”
Chapter Fourteen
When I told Fraser we weren’t having sex for a month leading up to the wedding, he laughed. It wasn’t until I was hauling a suitcase down the staircase that he realised I was serious.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I’m moving in with Kat. I can’t live with you and not have sex. I don’t have the self control. I want our wedding night to be fuelled by passion and want. I want it to be special.”
“It won’t be special if I haven’t had sex for a month. It’ll be all over within a minute.”
I smiled and tilted my head to the side. “No it won’t.”
“When will I see you?”
“You’ll see me tomorrow when we have dinner at my mums.”
“But…”
“But nothing, Fraser.” I went to him and kissed him. “In one month, you’ll have me next to you every single night. But until then, you’re on your own.”
When I asked John if he’d walk me down the aisle and give me away to Fraser he almost cried. “It’d be an honour,” he said.
Mum was thrilled to be signing my register.
All the plans for our summer garden wedding were in place. Two days before the wedding, the forecast was for blue skies. Kat and I had had our final dress fittings and we were all set to enjoy my second last night as a sing
le woman.
The night before the wedding, I confessed everything to Kat. Not that I had planned to, but after I got off the phone to Fraser, who called me to make sure I hadn’t developed a chronic case of cold feet, I broke down in tears.
“All I want is for Fraser to be happy,” I sobbed. “How on earth is he going to be happy being married to someone he doesn’t love.” I wiped my nose of the back of my hand. “I can’t marry him, Kat. I just can’t.”
“Well, if you’re not going to walk down that aisle tomorrow and say ‘I do’, I will. That man is the catch of the century and you’d be crazy to give him up because you and I quote, ‘love him too much.’” Kat rolled her eyes and continued. “Let me tell you something about Fraser Lewis. That man doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do. He may say he doesn’t love you, Em, but there is no way he’s going to be miserable being married to you.”
Kat was right. I knew Fraser would be happy with me. Kat poured me another glass of wine.
“Now settle down, drink the wine and let’s have no more tears. I hate it when girls cry.”
Because the location and duration of our honeymoon was “top secret” I had put my full faith in Kat to pack my bags, which had already been taken from Fraser’s house.
“Did you pack my running gear?” I asked as I slipped into my singlet.
“Yes, and you’re swimming gear,” she said. She sat on the end of my bed. “You’re all set.”
“Do you know where he’s taking me?”
“I sure do.”
“Will I love it?”
“Em, you’re going to be with Fraser. He could take you to a sewerage farm and you’d love it.” Kat always did have a way with words.
I smiled and got into bed. “When are you heading back to Sydney?”
She smiled and raised her eyebrows. “It would seem that I’m not. I got accepted into Melbourne Uni. I’m staying.”
I screamed like a girl. “You’re staying!”
“Settle down, love.” She climbed into bed next to me. While I still intended to follow my dream of becoming a veterinarian after my “gap year”, Kat wanted to be an architect. She’d be good at that, she was very arty.
“It’s exciting.” I smiled across as her. “I hope we can still be friends, even after I’m an old married lady and you’re a trendy uni student.”
“Of course we’ll still be friends.” She rolled over and switched off the bedside lamp. “Now, you need your beauty sleep, we can’t have any haggard looking brides.”
“Good night Kat, I love you.”
“Love you too, Em.”
I thought I might faint as I walked down the aisle. Seeing Fraser and his three brother standing beside him, all in black suits, smiling at me, made the last six years of my life flash before my eyes in a strange sort of montage. Six years ago, I was devastated at the thought that I would have to marry Fraser, and now, I could barely keep the ecstasy in. I smiled as tears of joy spilled down my cheeks. Thank goodness the make-up artist had applied waterproof mascara.
John delivered me to Fraser, kissed my cheek and sat beside my mum in the front row.
Most of what the marriage celebrant said went in one ear and out the other. But when Fraser was asked if he would take me to be his bride, to love and to care for in sickness and health, for richer or poorer until death do we part, a part of me expected him to say ‘no.’
Instead, he looked me square in the eyes and said as clear as day, “I do.”
I almost believed it.
When I was asked the same question, I hesitated for just a moment. Fraser didn’t love me. I was marrying a man who would never return my feelings.
Fraser squeezed my hands and smiled down at me and I knew that in fifteen years time, when our arrangement came to an end, my heart would break beyond repair.
“I do,” I said.
Fraser kissed me in front of all our family and friends – all three hundred of them – and I became Mrs. Fraser Lewis.
The rest of the day was a blur. There were a lot of kisses and hugs and laughter and a few tears; all happy ones.
Just before midnight, Fraser and I boarded a private plane, headed for our honeymoon. We consummated our marriage that night (as per the terms of the contract) while we flew over the Pacific Ocean to the Cook Islands.
We honeymooned at a private villa for fifteen nights, before we had to come home again. Those fifteen nights were the best of my life. I had Fraser to myself, no phone calls, no emails, and no business; just fun and laughter and lots of beautiful scenery.
The moment we got back to Fraser’s house – our house – his phone was switched on and it was back to reality.
*****
I had settled into my married life quite well. As I didn’t have an awful lot to do, I asked Mrs. Lewis, or Bev, as she ask me to call her, if I could help her with any of her charity work. It always kept her busy and I needed to be busy too.
Bev was only too happy to have me along, putting together baskets for charity auctions and printing up invitations for luncheons and she even let me scout a few locations for a charity run/walk.
It was after one of those outings that my life was turned inside out and upside down.
Kat had joined me as we walked the Kokoda Memorial Walk at the Dandenong Ranges. We had decided fairly quickly that the site was unsuitable for the likes of Bev’s “charity friends” as the walk consisted of steep hills and a 1000 step stair climb. Kat and I had had fun walking it though.
Greg had waited for us to return at the base of the walk and when we got back to the car, he had poured us two hot mugs of coffee. The morning was cold, even colder in the mountains than in the city, so Kat and I happily took the drinks and got into the heated car.
I called Fraser to let him know how our morning had gone – he liked it when I called him during the day; he said it broke up the monotony of having to deal with trades and merges, whatever that meant.
“I’m really tired,” I said to him as we head back toward the city.
“You did climb a thousand steps,” he said.
“Yeah, but, this is different. I’m really tired.”
Fraser laughed. “Go to sleep then. I’m sure Greg will wake you up when you get home.”
“I’ll see you tonight,” I said, ending the call.
My eyes felt unbearably heavy and as my head fell to the side, I saw Kat’s head fall forward.
Then everything went black.
*****
I felt a surge of pain go through my chest when my eyes finally opened. I was completely surrounded in darkness; I could see nothing. When I tried to move, I met with strong resistance. I was sitting down, my arms tied behind my back, around a large pole. My legs were straight out in front of me, but my ankles were tied, I couldn’t move my legs.
I could hear whimpering. Kat. Kat was nearby.
I tried to speak but the gag in my mouth prevented any audible words. As I grunted, I heard Kat trying to scream. Panic overtook my body and I writhed and pulled at my restraints, trying my very best to scream.
A loud banging noise caused me to turn my head. I heard Kat’s muffled scream before I felt a sharp blow to my stomach. Then I felt someone pulling at my hand.
“Her fingers are all swollen. We need to loosen the ties.”
“We’re not loosening anything. Cut it off if you need to.”
“Cut the rings?”
“Not the rings, dipshit. Her finger.”
Minutes later I felt someone pulling my fingers, trying to straighten them out. I screamed as loud as I could, pulling and pushing against my restraints.
A sharp blow to the head rendered my unconscious. It was just as well. The next time I woke up, my ring finger was missing.
I had no idea of time. I had no idea of where I was. I could smell a sort of acrid metallic odour. Sometimes I heard vehicles. Sometimes I heard muffled talking. But mostly, all I could hear was my own laboured breathing. Kat had been quiet for a long time.
I tried to communicate with her, by grunting and making noise, but I got nothing in reply.
I hadn’t been given anything to drink or eat. I hadn’t been released to move. I’d wet and soiled myself. My body ached. I was hungry and terribly thirsty. I felt light headed and weak.
And then, I began to feel nothing at all. My body was slowly shutting down, I’d stopped feeling pain.
I only felt despair.
A loud noise woke me. I heard feet and voices, but in my delirious state, I couldn’t understand what they were saying.
I felt someone touching my arm and then a stern voice saying, “Not that one, that one.”
I was sure I knew that voice. I’d heard it before.
But my mind was quickly brought to the present when I heard Kat screaming. She screamed and screamed before she finally became silent again.
“You get the money to us…” I heard as the voice faded away.
Kidnapping.
Money.
Ransom.
I recalled a conversation Fraser and I had many years ago. “We have a family policy, we don’t pay ransoms.”
Would he break his family policy for me? Did he care about me enough that he’d pay for my safe return? Would Mum demand he pay? Would Mum use her own money to pay my ransom? Would Mr. Gold pay for Kat’s return? Would he pay mine too?
Or was this it? Was I on my own?
When the covering was finally lifted from my head the first thing I saw was Kat. She was sitting not too far from me, tied and bound just like I was. She’d been beaten, her face and body bleeding, almost unrecognisable. Tears instantly came to my eyes. Four men wearing face coverings stood in the room. One of them held a phone to her ear. Her eyes widened and she yelled into the phone, a muffled cry. The phone was taken from her and the man grumbled “one hour” into the phone.
Two other men went to Kat and began to untie her. Another stood next to me, the gun in his hand pointed at my head. I could see nothing but fear in Kat’s eyes. I imagined I looked much the same way.
Once Kat was untied, they pushed her flat onto the ground and started to remove her clothes. Her screams grew louder as did mine. I tried again in vain to loosen my restraints but I couldn’t. I was helpless. I couldn’t do anything to help her.
I looked away. I couldn’t look anymore. But the cold steel barrel of the gun pushed my head back to centre.