by Anne Herries
He had lost his love shortly before his wedding day. It was not surprising that he could never think of putting another woman in her place. Maribel felt a flow of sympathy for him, feeling his hurt and the pain it must have caused him. In that moment she wanted to put her arms about him and kiss away all the grief and pain, to make him whole again. She knew how it felt to lose someone you loved and she had loved Pablo as a brother. How would it feel to lose someone who meant so much more—someone who was a part of you?
‘I swear I shall not reveal what you have told me.’ Maribel said. Her heartbeat had returned to normal. Peg had told her something so revealing that she thought it had begun to explain the mystery that was Captain Justin Sylvester. Sylvester was not his true name. He had come from a respectable family, from what Peg had hinted, perhaps a great family.
The mystery was deep and she might never reach the bottom of it, but Maribel suspected that she might be falling deeply in love with the man himself. He was a gentleman despite his present situation. He was also a man of honour.
Why did he believe he could not return to his homeland? What had he done that was so terrible?
She knew that he could be harsh. It was necessary to discipline the men that served with him. Yet he could also be compassionate and honourable.
Maribel’s heart ached as she saw to the packing of her own trunk for the move to Justin’s house. Being here on the island had caused her to lose so many inhibitions that she had had before being taken captive. When she first left for England she had been very much the correct Spanish lady. She was not certain who she was any more. Maribel was not sure that she would ever be able to give orders to a servant in the way she once had, taking it for granted that they should obey her every whim, though she would be expected to do so once she was living with her English family.
If only there was another way to live! One that was possible for her. She did not think that she could be happy living on the island, because the pirates were dangerous, coarse men and she would always fear most of them. Yet to return to the kind of life she had known in her father’s house would be hard.
She thought that she would like to live simply in a modest house, somewhere in the country—perhaps a farm—but with whom? One face filled her mind, but she struggled to push it away. To dream of such happiness was foolish.
Justin Sylvester was not looking to settle to a quiet life. He might desire Maribel, but he did not love her. He did not wish for a wife, merely a mistress to lie with when it suited him.
Blinking back her tears, Maribel dressed herself in a thin shift, one petticoat and the thinnest gown she possessed. She looked respectable, because her hair was disciplined into the ringlets she had worn at home. She had teased her comb into her tangled hair, curling it about her fingers. The effect was not quite as neat as when Anna dressed her hair, but she did not look like the wanton hoyden Justin had rescued from that vile man.
Lifting her head, Maribel glanced at herself in her tiny silver-backed mirror. She vaguely resembled the formal lady that had first set sail for England, though she knew that inside she was very different. She had been living inside a shell, in a cold dark place and barely alive. Now she was aware of her feelings, aware of pain and love and a need that she scarcely understood.
* * *
Maribel glanced round the room she had been given. It was furnished with an impressive tester bed of Spanish hardwood and hung with silken drapes. Other hutches made of a similar wood, a stool, and a cupboard on a carved stand had been provided for her comfort. She wondered where and how Justin had come by such fine items. They must either have been captured from Spanish vessels or brought here at some cost—perhaps both. A trunk with iron bands had been delivered and when Maribel opened the lid she discovered the gowns and undergarments she had been promised. They were of such fine silk that she knew they must have been extremely costly. Because of their light weight she knew that they would be much more comfortable than the heavier gowns she had prepared for her trousseau. She had deliberately chosen heavy materials because she had been told she would need them in the cooler climate of England.
She was finding herself more and more reluctant to complete her journey to the home of her mother’s family. Yet what else was there for her? If she gave herself to Justin without marriage, she would indeed be a whore. What if he tired of her? Where would she go and what would she do then?
The questions weighed heavily on her mind. Her heart was telling her that even a short time as his woman—to lie in his arms and experience his loving—would be worth losing her honour. However, her mind reminded her that she was a lady and gently born. Her father might be a tyrant and a murderer, but her mother was undoubtedly a lady. If she gave up honour for love, she could never return to the life she was meant to live. She would be an outcast and might one day be forced to earn her living on her back. Yet she was not even sure that she had a family who would take her in, though Juanita had told her that she had an uncle in England and named him. She had received no letters from him. Perhaps he would not wish to know her.
Maribel’s tortured thoughts were scattered as Anna came into the room bearing clean linen for the bed.
‘This is a fine house,’ Anna told her. ‘True it is built mainly of wood, but the foundations are set on stone. It should withstand the worst of winter storms.’
‘Yes, it is stout enough.’ Maribel gave a little shiver. ‘I should not want to live here all the time. Are you sure you wish to settle here, Anna? If you change your mind, you will have a place with me—if my family can be found and will accept me.’
‘I thank you, my lady, but in England I should always be a servant. Here I can be my own person.’
‘Surely you and Higgins could have an inn or a shop of your own in England?’
‘It would not be the same. You have always been a lady. You do not know what it is like for the people who serve you. The laws are harsh in Spain for such as us, and Higgins says it is the same in England. A man can be hung for stealing game from the woods, even if he only did so to save his family from starvation. Besides, Higgins would be hanged as a mutineer if he returned to his home country. If he cannot live there nor shall I.’
Anna’s words struck home. Maribel had been spoiled in some ways, for she had been waited on and given fine clothes and good food, but in other ways she had been poor. She had never known her father’s love or felt her mother’s arms about her. Juanita had been good to her, but after her death Maribel had felt alone and at times unhappy. She would not wish to return to a life like that—in Spain or England.
She sighed. ‘Is there no country on this earth where a man can be free from such harsh laws? I know you say there is freedom on the island, but the men here…’ She shook her head. ‘I do not care for men like Pike or pirates.’ Save one, her heart said, but she would not voice her true feelings for the man she knew would never love her. Peg had told her that his heart belonged to the woman he had meant to marry. Justin had told her himself that he had no intention of taking a wife.
‘Well,’ tis what I have chosen,’ Anna said. ‘The life may not be perfect, but I have no family waiting for me in England. I would not wish to return to Spain—I should have nothing to look forward to there.’
‘You must do as you please, but I could not live here—even though this house is well enough for a short visit.’
Maribel said the words carelessly, though it was not the house that she found lacking, merely the knowledge that she did not belong on this island.
* * *
Justin paused outside the open door and listened to the conversation between the two women inside. He had come to ask if Maribel had all that she required, but he had his answer. It had cost him far more than he had intended to spend to furnish the house to a standard he considered suitable for her use. In his foolish desire to please, he had imagined that she would understand that he had provided the best the island had to offer. It seemed that she found it lacking—as she had foun
d him lacking.
He had given her his first name as a proof that he was willing to lower the barriers between them. Yet now he was glad that he had not revealed his other secrets to her. She did not care for pirates—or their captain presumably. It had seemed to him that she was warming towards him…that she felt something of the passion her beauty aroused in him—but it would seem that he had deceived himself.
She was willing to accept his hospitality for a short visit, because she knew that she would be safe beneath his roof. Clearly she could hardly wait for their stay on the island to be over so that she could continue her journey to England and the family that awaited her.
Frowning, Justin walked away. He had business enough to keep him occupied. His crew wanted only gold or silver that they could spend, which meant that he must bargain with the merchants and other captains for the best prices for the goods they had taken. The chests of silver had already been divided according to the rules of the brethren. He had spent much of his captain’s share, which was the largest, but still only a portion of that taken. Each man was paid according to his standing, and even Tom the cabin boy now had more money than he could have earned in ten years before the mast. If he took care of his share, he could be a rich man in another year or so—they all could be if they continued to be as lucky as they had been this trip.
Justin had wondered if his share would buy him a new life somewhere. Not here on the island. The money he had spent here could be recouped when he left, or at least a part of it; he might not get back all for he knew he had spent recklessly to buy things of quality for Maribel. Yet where could he go to start this new life?
Maribel had asked where on this earth there was a country where the laws were fair to all men. Not a pirates’ haven, but a land where a man could breathe and make a fine life for himself and his family.
Anna had not known how to answer her and Justin did not know either. He had left England under a cloud for speaking his mind. He had neither spoken nor committed treason. However, just for voicing his opinion that it was wrong to send a man to the fire simply because he followed a different religion, he could have been condemned as a traitor and executed. Perhaps if the old queen were dead he might have found a better life…but not with the stain of piracy hanging over him. His father would not accept him. He would accuse him of bringing shame to their name and it was true.
So if he could not return to England, where would he find the life he craved? Not in Spain and perhaps not in France—his cousins might also think he had brought shame on them. Justin would have to think again. There must surely be a country where he could find the life and the freedom he craved…
* * *
Maribel saw him chopping wood in the yard at the back of the house. Justin had taken off his shirt and his skin glistened with sweat. His body was tanned and his strong muscles rippled as he worked. Her eyes fastened on him hungrily and she was aware of heat spreading through her from low in her abdomen. He was beautiful and she wanted to touch him, to run her hands over his back and touch the scars she thought must have come from cruel whips when he served before the mast. No wonder he had taken the law into his own hands. The master of that ship deserved to lose his position! Yet it had made Justin something he had no wish to be, an exile from the law and his home. For the first time Maribel began to understand why a man might become a pirate. She watched him a little longer from her window. Justin was working so hard, attacking the wood as if it were his enemy. She thought he must be angry for his actions seemed those of a man bent on spending his frustration in work and there was surely no need for so much kindling.
Picking up the hat with a wide brim that he had so thoughtfully provided, Maribel put it on and fastened it to her hair with silver pins. She went out of the house, hearing the rustle of her skirts and relishing the feel of the silky material against her flesh. She had never worn anything as fine as this and thought that even her stepmother had not owned silk as costly as she was wearing now.
Justin looked up as she approached. He scowled at her, reaching for his shirt. ‘Forgive me. You should not have come out. I am not properly dressed.’
‘I saw you from the house. You were working so hard. I wanted to thank you for my clothes. They are so light and comfortable. I have never worn anything as fine.’
‘I am sure you must have…’
‘No, sir, I have not. My gowns were always heavier and thicker. Even my stepmother never had such fine silk as you have given me. I am grateful for your thoughtfulness…and for the room you have provided.’
‘The furnishings are not what you are used to,’ he growled. ‘But all I could find here.’
‘I thought it very comfortable. I am grateful for all you have done for me, sir.’
‘I am aware that my house lacks the comforts you were accustomed to, lady. Well enough for a short stay, but not for long. I shall endeavour to see you safe in the arms of your family as soon as it may be done.’
‘You heard me…’ Maribel’s cheeks burned as she realised she had been overheard. Shame washed over her, for she had been ungrateful and hasty. ‘When I spoke to Anna it was not of you or your house, Justin. It is merely that I do not find the island a pleasant place…’ She saw his expression and stopped. ‘I would not have offended you for the world, sir. I believe I owe you more than I can ever repay. It is just that I feel uncomfortable because of what happened with Pike—and what could happen if I left your house to go walking or visit the merchants.’
‘Do not judge us too harshly, Maribel. It is true that men like Pike are to be avoided, but many of those who live here would not harm you, especially now they believe you belong to me. You have not seen the rest of the island. The port is a shambles, I grant you, but the community is young and the town is not yet built. The island has become a safe haven for pirates and their kind, but one day it may be something more. As people make their homes here it will become a proper community. I think it might be possible to have a good life here—if one were willing to accept it for what it is.’
‘I should not have spoken so carelessly to Anna. I have received no harm at your hands, sir.’ She turned away, walking back towards the house, her head down. A moment later she felt her arm caught and looked at Justin. He had put on his shirt and his expression had lightened.
‘No, do not leave, Maribel. The other side of the island, away from the port, is beautiful…perhaps as paradise must have been before we humans spoiled it.’
‘I should like to visit this paradise you speak of…if it may be arranged.’
‘The interior of the island is hilly, covered in woods, and you would not enjoy the walk in this heat. I could arrange for us to be rowed there—perhaps one day soon. There are other things to enjoy here. This evening there will be a feast and then the division of the spoils. Would you care to attend the feasting? I must do so and I would prefer that you be there so that I can watch over you.’
‘I think I am a deal of trouble to you, sir.’ She hung her head, feeling ashamed that she had given him cause to think her ungrateful. ‘You have been generous…more so than I could ever have expected.’
‘I have given you my word that I will deliver you safely to your family, lady. I shall endeavour to keep it. If you do not wish to attend the feasting tonight, I shall ask you to stay inside and lock your door.’
‘Thank you, I should like to attend. I think I am safe enough if you are there, sir.’
‘You know that I would never allow anyone to harm you while I live.’ Justin hesitated, then, ‘Would it be too much to ask you to call me by my name? I should like to think we had gone beyond the formality of sir…’
‘I owe my life to you. If you wish it, I shall call you, Sylvester, as you are known here. You gave me your first name, but I think you may not wish others to know it?’
‘I once had hopes of returning to my home, but I doubt it will happen.’ Justin’s eyes clouded, his mouth thinning. ‘You owe me no gratitude, Maribel. Had we not attacked
your ship the first time you might have been in England.’
‘And perhaps wed to a man I hated.’ She shuddered. ‘I think I should thank you, Sylvester. I resented being your captive, but I was proud and foolish, and afraid. I misjudged you and I am sorry. Perhaps one day I may do something for you in return.’
‘I ask for nothing.’ He inclined his head. ‘Excuse me, I have things I must do. You need not stay in the house; you are safe enough here in the garden, such as it is. I have been meaning to clear some of the undergrowth at the back so that a fruit garden can be planted, but as yet I have not had time. Be careful if you stray further. I do not think anyone will attempt what Pike did…but, as you know, these men are not always to be trusted.’
Maribel watched as he walked away from her. The barriers had come down as soon as she spoke of his name and reminded him of his home—and the woman he had loved. Clearly such memories pained him. He must have loved her very much…still loved her if it could cause the shadows to fall. He was a man and had a man’s needs. He might desire Maribel, but his heart still belonged to a woman he had once loved.
She was foolish to think of him! He had sworn to protect her but that was all. Maribel began to realise something her heart had tried to tell her long ago. Justin was an exceptional man and she was beginning to feel things for him that she could scarcely understand. He had been kind to her, but she had rebuffed him and it would serve her right if he abandoned her to her fate.
Maribel knew that she must make the best of her stay here. She could only hope that it would not be too long before the ship was ready to sail. In the meantime, she would make herself useful in the house. Some large chests had been delivered earlier and she knew they contained things for Justin’s house. He was so busy that he had no time to unpack them. She would do it for him.