by Anne Herries
He had told her that he could not return to England for he might be hanged as a mutineer. Maribel would be willing to sail with him—or settle in another country if he truly cared for her. She was not sure she wished to be a lady again. The life she had found here was a fulfilling one. She enjoyed helping to prepare the food and other small chores that Anna allowed her to do. Perhaps the life of a country gentlewoman would suit her, with a maid to help her. Juanita had delighted in her stillroom and Maribel had found it interesting to help with the preserves and cures they made from herbs.
To be a fine lady and sit all day at her sewing would not suit her. It was the life she would have had as the wife of Lord Roberts and perhaps in the house of her mother’s kin. Surely there must be another way to live, something more worthwhile?
Here on the island she would always have to be on her guard, but a simple country life mixing with honest folk would be so much more satisfying than the life of a grand lady.
Maribel shook her head, smiling at her foolish thoughts. Captain Sylvester might want her, but he would not be prepared to give up his way of life at sea to pander to her foolish whims. His was a precarious trade but it brought him great wealth. The money he must earn from preying on merchant ships would be far more than he could expect from the existence of a simple farmer.
Her thoughts were nonsense! She must accept what the future had in store for her. She would be restored to her mother’s family and then…her thoughts refused to think further; it seemed like a dark tunnel that she must follow with no turning or reward.
How much better it would be if she were like Anna, free to give her heart to a pirate and think nothing of it. Anna was prepared to live on the island and mix with the rough seamen that lived and visited here. Maribel did not think that she could settle for such a life, even though she longed to be with Justin.
She did not even know his true name! Maribel was restless as she lay in her bed that night. Who was he truly? What was his family like and how did they feel about his disappearance? Did they have any idea of what he had become?
It was very late when she heard him come in. His footsteps paused outside her door and her heart raced as she heard the sound of his hand upon the latch. The door was locked. She had turned the key as a precaution lest Pike should attempt to get into her room while Justin was occupied elsewhere. Now she wished that she had left it unlocked.
Would Justin have come to her? Would he have woken her, taken her in his arms to love her?
Her body cried out for him and she longed to feel his arms about her. Had she been less proud she would have left her bed and gone to him, but years of strict upbringing would not allow her to offer herself to a man.
If he loved her, surely he would speak? Maribel longed for him to give her a sign that he cared even a little for her, but her head told her that she could never expect him to love her.
* * *
It was no good, she could not sleep. The night was too warm and her mind would not let her rest. Getting out of her bed, Maribel pulled a thin wrap over her night-chemise and went through to the living room. It was still stuffy and warm in here so she unlocked the door and went down the little steps leading to the veranda.
The moon was full, making Maribel feel lonely. She walked a few steps to a position where she could see out over the cliffs to the ocean below. At night it looked dark and mysterious, the water strangely calm, unmoving. She sighed deeply for she longed for something…something she could not name.
‘What are you doing out here at night?’
Startled, Maribel turned to face Justin. He was wearing just his breeches. His feet were bare and he had not put on his shirt. She could see a trickle of sweat running over his bare chest and guessed that he too had been unable to sleep.
‘I could not rest. It is so hot and…I was thinking…’
‘I often come out at night to think. The air is cooler and things seem simpler.’
‘You must have many problems…regrets?’ Maribel looked at him. ‘You told me that you could not return home—do you miss your family?’
‘I think of them sometimes. I know my mother must miss me.’
‘Do you have brothers or sisters?’
‘I had a younger brother, but he died when he was but a child.’
‘Then your mother must miss you terribly.’
‘Perhaps.’ Justin frowned. ‘Did you have no brothers or sisters?’
‘My mother died giving birth to a stillborn child, at least that is what I have been told—but my father never spoke of her. I think they quarrelled.’ She sighed deeply and turned away to look out over the sea.
‘Were you sighing because you wished yourself at home?’
‘No.’ Maribel met his narrowed gaze. ‘I do not wish to return to my home ever. There was a time when I was happy. When my stepmother lived she made things better. I do not know if my father was always the cruel man you claim, but I remember that Juanita loved me. She was kind to me and I was happy then. I was happy when I married…’
‘You loved your husband very much?’ Justin’s voice was sharp suddenly.
‘He was my friend. He loved me. Yes, I loved him very much.’ Maribel hesitated, then, ‘You told me that you once loved someone?’
Justin was silent for a moment, then, ‘There was once a lady I would have married. She was young and beautiful. I loved her and I would have married her, but a fever took her before our wedding day.’
‘That must have hurt you terribly.’ Maribel looked into his face, witnessing the pain he could not quite hide.
‘Yes, it hurt me…’ His voice grated, as if he found it difficult to speak of his lost love. ‘It was a long time ago. I have learned to live again. A man cannot spend all his life in regret.’
‘No, that is true.’
Justin moved towards her. She stood absolutely still, waiting. For a moment his eyes held hers, then he reached out and drew her to him. He lowered his head and took her mouth, kissing her softly at first and then hungrily. Maribel melted into his body, realising that this was what she had been longing for…this was what she needed. She was so alone and she needed to be loved.
‘You are lovely. The moonlight becomes you, Maribel, but why are you out here alone?’
‘I was restless and could not sleep.’
‘Nor I,’ he murmured, his hand moving to the small of her back. ‘I was thinking of you. You haunt my dreams, waking and sleeping.’
‘Justin…’ she whispered, lifting her face for his kiss.
‘Maribel…’ Justin said hoarsely. He ran his thumb over her lower lip and she trapped it with her teeth. A shudder went through him and he pressed her closer so that she felt the hardness of his arousal and a thrill of desire shot through her. ‘I vowed I would not.’
‘I absolve you of your vow,’ she said. ‘Justin, I…’
What she might have said then was lost as they heard something and then a man came towards them through the gloom. Justin stood back from her, staring into the darkness for a moment, then he recognised the newcomer.
‘Hendry,’ he said, cursed beneath his breath and left Maribel to greet the newcomer. ‘You are back. I thank God for it. I was beginning to wonder where you had got to and to fear that things might have gone wrong—that Sabatini had reneged on the truce.’
‘All went well,’ Hendry said and took the hand he was offered. ‘The exchange was made and I have the packet for you.’
‘Thank you,’ Justin said. ‘Come and have a drink with me. The ship is yours, as I promised. You may sail with us or go your own way.’
‘I shall drink with you—unless you have unfinished business?’ Hendry glanced at Maribel, who was watching them.
‘I was merely telling Maribel that she should not wander outside alone at night,’ Justin said. ‘Go in, Madonna. I shall see you in the morning.’
Maribel inclined her head, turning reluctantly towards the house. She shivered, feeling suddenly cool despite the heat. Captain He
ndry had looked at her so oddly. She wished that he had not returned. He had brought the information Justin needed to find her mother’s family but something in the way he looked at her had made her uneasy.
She had a feeling that something special might have happened with Justin had Hendry not arrived at just that moment. The barriers had come down between them and she had been on the verge of confessing that she was ready to be what everyone on the island already thought her—Sylvester’s woman.
* * *
‘Captain Sylvester asks that you forgive him,’ Anna said the next morning. ‘He has had to postpone the trip to the other side of the island, because he has business with Captain Hendry.’
‘Oh…’ Maribel’s disappointment swathed through her. She had been looking forward to the pleasure trip and for a moment the day seemed long and empty, then an idea occurred to her and she smiled. ‘I am going to clear some of the undergrowth behind the house. Captain Sylvester told me that he wants to create a fruit garden there, but has not yet found the time.’
Anna looked at her doubtfully. ‘Do you know how hard that will be, señora? Your hands have never done hard work like that and they will blister.’
‘I shall wear gloves,’ Maribel said, determined not to give up her idea. ‘Captain Sylvester has done much for me. I want to do this to thank him for his care of us, Anna.’
‘If you must…’ Anna sighed. ‘I suppose I must help you.’
Maribel smiled at her. ‘We can work together as friends, but I am not ordering you to help me, Anna. We shall clear more ground if we work together, but if you have something else to do I can manage alone.’
Anna gave her a look of grudging admiration. ‘I would never have thought you could change so much, señora. You would not have dreamed of getting your hands dirty once.’
‘I was another person then,’ Maribel told her. ‘I have been changing little by little, though at first I fought it—now I want to discover for myself what it is like to work hard.’
‘We must begin by chopping down the grass and weeds, then we can make a start on the digging…’
* * *
Maribel’s back ached and she was soaked in sweat when they decided that they had done enough for one day. A patch large enough to plant vegetables and soft fruits had been cleared at the back of the house and they had begun to dig a small part of it. The work had been even harder than Anna had warned, but Maribel was filled with a sense of pride as she looked at the results of their labour.
‘I think we have made a good start,’ she said to Anna as they walked back towards the house. ‘I am thirsty and dirty. I must wash away the sweat and change my gown before we begin to make a meal for this evening.’
‘You have done enough for one day. Let me bring water for you. You must be weary.’
‘No, I am not tired,’ Maribel said and smiled. ‘My back does ache and I think I may be stiff tomorrow, but I feel so alive. I have enjoyed working with you in the sunshine. I feel as if I have done something useful for perhaps the first time in my life.’
‘You used to have such soft hands and your needlework was so fine,’ Anna said. ‘Even Donna Juanita said how lovely your work was—do you not remember?’
‘Yes…’ Maribel sighed. ‘The girl who sewed pretty cushions was a different person, Anna. That world seems so far away. I have become someone different—a woman with a heart and mind of her own.’
Anna looked at her and nodded. ‘Why do you not tell him how you feel? I have seen a look in your eyes.’
‘I am not sure that he would care. I know that he desires me, but I cannot speak first.’
‘You must forget your pride,’ Anna told her. ‘You must decide if you want to stay here with us.’
‘I am not sure.’ Maribel’s throat caught with emotion. ‘I would stay, but only if…’
She would stay if Justin loved her, but she knew that he still loved the woman he had once wished to marry, despite what he had said about moving on. She could have him for a while, but in the end he would tire of her and then she would be alone.
* * *
Maribel enjoyed the feel of the cool water on her skin. She had been so very sweaty and her hair had collected bits of twig and dirt. Anna had helped her to wash it in the yard, and now she was stripped of her clothes in her room, the shutters closed for privacy. She washed in the water she had brought into the house herself, drying her skin and pulling on a shift to cover her body. Her hair was still wet and she sat down on the edge of the bed to rub it dry on a towel, singing a little song that Juanita had sung to her when she was small. She looked up as the door opened, expecting to see Anna, but was shocked to see Justin standing on the threshold. For a moment he stared at her without saying anything, but she saw the pulse at his throat and the way his eyes fastened on her and became aware that her body was clearly outlined through the thin shift. Her nipples had peaked with the instant response of her body to his presence, aching with the need to be touched and caressed.
‘Forgive me. I heard voices and thought Anna was with you.’
‘I was singing.’ Maribel reached for a silken wrap and drew it on over her shift. His eyes seemed to burn into her, making her breath catch in her throat. ‘Did you want something?’
‘The garden behind the house…who did all that work?’ he asked, but his breathing was ragged, his voice hoarse. He looked at her like a man dying of thirst when he sees the oasis for the first time, his need writ plain on his face. ‘Anna? Or Higgins?’
‘Anna and I did it together. You said you had not had time and I wanted to thank you for—’
‘Foolish woman!’ Justin strode towards her. ‘Show me your hands.’ Maribel held them out and heard his indrawn breath as he saw the red welts across the palms. ‘You should not have done such heavy work. Your hands will be sore in the morning.’
‘I enjoyed it,’ she replied. ‘I shall rub some salve into them. Anna always packs some into my trunks…’ She gasped as he caught her hand and carried it to his lips, licking at the redness in a way that made desire shoot through her. ‘Justin…’
‘Sometimes saliva will help,’ he said huskily, but as her eyes met his he groaned and reached out, drawing her close. ‘You were made for love, not hard physical work…’
For a moment she melted into his body, wanting his kiss to go on and on, wanting so much more that she could not name. Yet even as his hands held her closer so that she could feel the heat of his manhood pressing against her through the thin robe, she felt tears rise up to choke her. He said that she was made for love, but he did not love her—he only wanted her. As he gathered her up in his arms, her mind refused to work properly. She wanted him to kiss and touch her, to make love to her, but she knew that she might lose everything.
Justin placed her carefully amongst the sheets, bending over her to kiss her throat at the little hollow at the base. His hand moved aside her robe, exposing the open neck of her shift. He bent to kiss her, slipping his hand inside her shift to caress her breasts. His thumb caressed her nipple, making her gasp and tremble, her body arching towards his despite her fears.
‘You are very beautiful, Maribel, and I have wanted this for a long time. Deny me now if you will, for I can no longer deny myself.’ He raised his head to look down at her and then reached out to brush away the tear on her cheek. ‘Crying? Have I mistaken the case? Last night in the moonlight I thought…but I see I was wrong. You do not want this, do you?’
Maribel could not answer, nor could she control the tears. She felt them slide helplessly down her face, staring up at him wordlessly. How could she tell him that she loved him, wanted to be his woman, when she knew he did not love her?
‘Forgive me. I came to tell you we shall take our trip tomorrow and seeing you…I forgot myself.’
He turned and walked to the door. Maribel tried to speak, but could not make the words come.
‘Do not leave me. Stay and make me yours,’ she whispered, but the door had closed behind him.
Chapter Six
That morning was as warm as the one before it. Maribel rose early, dressed in one of her simpler gowns and went out to draw water from the well. She had carried both buckets to the house when Anna came sleepily into the kitchen. Hair was straggling down her back and it was obvious that she found it difficult to rouse herself.
‘I stayed out drinking with Higgins after you retired last night,’ she told Maribel, her cheeks flushed. ‘I did not expect you to wake so early.’
‘I was excited by the thought of the visit to the other side of the island.’ Maribel smiled. ‘It was no trouble to me to fetch the water.’
‘I am still your maid—until you dismiss me.’
‘I would never dismiss you, but I should like us to be friends, Anna. Now, I must change into one of the gowns Captain Sylvester bought for me.’
‘I shall help you,’ Anna did not meet her eyes.
Maribel sighed. She knew that Anna could not think of her as a friend, perhaps she never would. They had been mistress and servant and they would be parted when Maribel travelled to her mother’s home.
Maribel was trying not to think of the moment when Justin had kissed her the previous night, the moment when her foolish tears had sent him away. What would have happened if she had not allowed herself to think of love? Would he have made love to her? Would he have accepted her as his woman? Did he care for her at all or was it just the sight of her in her shift that had made him take her in his arms?
When Maribel came from her room dressed in one of her best gowns, Justin was waiting for her. He greeted her with a nod, but gave no sign that anything had happened the previous night. She smiled at him shyly, her eyes going over him. He was so handsome clothed in black hose and long leather boots that reached to his thighs, his thin linen shirt open at the neck, revealing a sprinkling of dark hair on his tanned chest. His long hair had been caught back by a ribbon at his nape; he was wearing his sword and a leather belt across his body into which was thrust a long-barrelled pistol and a heavy knife.
‘You look prepared for trouble,’ she said, because she needed to say something or the silence between them would be unbearable.