by Kyle, Celia
Did she want to see him in the house? In the living room or dining room? On the porch? In the field? Shifted or skin?
So many choices and she was afraid of each.
High-pitched laughs intermixed with childlike snarls reached her, reminding her of the tiny cubs in the house. East and West tried to be fierce lions like their dad, but they were still children. The last thing she wanted was to hurt them if she panicked.
A cornered cat was a dangerous cat.
She stared at the massive expanse of land spread before her, at the forest that lay beyond the cleared area. She had plenty of places to run, if not hide.
“Here.” She cleared her throat when she realized her voice was barely a croak. “Out here is good.”
“With or without me and Alex?”
The Prime and Prima had already done so much, witnessed breakdown after breakdown. She didn’t think she could endure an audience. “Just us.”
“Okay, I’ll send him out.” The door slid shut once again, signifying the woman’s retreat.
Honor forced herself to relax against the deck chair, demanded the cat submit to her desires and retreat. Her human half would handle what came next. It whined, begging to be allowed to scent Grayson, to find out once and for all.
She wasn’t sure she wanted to know either way. The male, the pride’s Second, deserved a mate who could stand at his side, not cower in a corner.
The sound of the door reopening filled the evening’s silence. His steps were soft as he emerged onto the wood porch and the slide of the glass easing shut even quieter.
She was being treated like a newborn cub, a cornered lion. How true that was.
The wind picked up, sifting through her hair, carrying the scents of the coming storm, dirt, grass, and…
Him.
Grayson.
Grayson but so, so much more.
Honor drew in more of the aromas, pulling them into her lungs and sorting through them. Sweet. Hot. Deep. Musk. Man. Hers.
The lioness whined, cat begging to go to him, to present herself for claiming.
She held the cat back. It wouldn’t rule her ever again.
Grayson didn’t immediately step into view, didn’t move a muscle as far as she could tell, but he did breathe. Deep and long, he drew air into him and then let it out just as slowly. Still in place, he repeated the action, sounding more like a steam train than a man.
Eventually he spoke, releasing a single word on a soft sigh. “Honor.”
Carefully, as if he were afraid of spooking her, he gradually eased closer, his presence teasing her peripheral vision before he finally stepped into view.
He seemed bigger than she remembered. His shoulders were broader, muscles piled on top of muscles. He had a scar along his jaw she didn’t think he had four years ago. His nose had been broken a time or two. A scruff peppered his cheeks. It was dark and natural. Not a golden yellow from his beast’s presence.
Because, yes, the animal was very, very present.
Grayson’s normally blue eyes were a deep amber, practically glowing in the waning light of day.
And yet, as near as his cat was to the surface, he kept his distance.
With a handful of measured steps, he finished crossing the porch and lowered onto a nearby deck chair. Now ten feet of wood and unease separated them. She was comforted by the fact he was as nervous as she.
Grayson remained silent, no words escaping his lips after whispering her name. That left the next step up to her. She both loved and loathed that fact.
“Hi,” she murmured.
“Hey.” His eyes flared and he fisted his hands, but didn’t come closer. “How are you?” He winced. “Never mind. Dumb question.”
“Why?” She tilted her head. “What have you been told?”
“I…” Grayson fidgeted; the big male who scared most of the pride actually fidgeted.
She didn’t break her stare, didn’t let him hide from her question.
“No one said anything specific, but you know I’ve been here every day.”
She nodded; she did. No matter how hard she tried to stay away from the windows, she always ended up staring past the glass.
Grayson shrugged. “I saw you, your pain, and it about killed me when you cried. So, I know you’re not doing well, but I see the difference in you every day. You sit at the window longer, you even opened it the other day.” He gave her a rueful grin. “It took everything in me not to crawl inside.”
Honor returned his half smile as she imagined the pride’s fierce Second sneaking through a window. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“This. For watching. For waiting. For making me smile.” She blinked back the tears in her eyes and shoved away the truth of each word. By thanking him for happiness she also had to acknowledge the pain.
“I’d give you anything, you know that.” He ran a hand through his short brown hair. “Well, you don’t know. We don’t know each other, do we? But… I would—will—give you whatever you want. Whatever you need, it’s yours.”
The lioness tentatively nudged her mind, begged her human half to let go of the leash a little. It craved more of the male’s scent, desired to draw more of his flavors into her. So she eased her hold a tiny bit, breathed deep and savored his aromas. Her gums tingled, fangs threatening to burst free so she could mark him, and Honor snapped the lock on the cage once again. The cat wouldn’t get her way, not yet.
“What about time?” She watched for any reaction from him, good or bad. “Can you give me time?”
The beast growled, snarling at her in protest. It tried to force arousal on her, take over her body and prepare her for a mating. Honor shoved it back, kicked, pushed, and heaved until the animal was in a new cage, one even deeper inside her head.
Grayson’s nostrils flared as he took a deep breath. He probably caught a hint of the cat’s need, and anxiety attacked her. Would he push? Would he…
He released the air in a quick rush. “I will give you as much time as you need. I’ve given you years to grow up, to go through your first heat, I can wait a little longer.”
Her first heat. Did he know? Did he suspect? Had Angus found her? Followed her?
Honor was in the middle of the panic attack before she realized what’d overcome her. Each heave of air in and out of her body did nothing for her need for oxygen. Terror sent her heart rate soaring, the muscle fighting to free itself from her chest. Adrenaline flooded her, overtaking every limb.
“Shit. Honor?” Grayson rose from the chair and she shook her head, crawling from her seat. “Fuck. Maya!”
He didn’t try to come any closer, touch her or take her or…
The sliding glass door opened and a rush of voices filled her ears. Hands reached for her, small and smooth and… Maya’s.
The lioness didn’t want Maya, didn’t want anyone but Grayson. However, Honor’s human half didn’t want a male or anyone else.
Honor’s skin stretched, heated, and burned as the cat pushed against her flesh. It scraped her from inside, dragging its feline nails over her muscles. Her bones ached, more than her gums throbbed. Her whole body shuddered, fighting the pain of a forced shift.
But the cat wouldn’t be denied. It wanted out. It wanted Grayson. It knew it’d fucked up in London, but now…
Now he was so close, his scent surrounding her in a welcoming blanket, and the beast wanted to roll in his flavors. It wanted to mate, wanted a mating bite.
It wasn’t taking no for an answer.
The first crack surprised her. The sound shot through the raised voices, the soft touches. Hell, it surprised everyone. All speaking ceased, and Maya’s hands froze as she quickly retreated.
“Honor?” She raised her head to meet Grayson’s golden gaze focused on her. Or rather, her leg.
Another crack had her jumping in place and then she realized why. Why everyone was so surprised.
She was shifting—the cat was forcing the process, but her human half was b
attling it just as hard. Those cracks were her bones breaking. The sting on her skin was from the emergence of her fur.
Another crack, another bone.
“Honor, you need to let it happen.” Grayson’s voice was soft and smooth, belying the tension in his body.
She shook her head. Another bone, another bolt of pain.
“How long are you going to fight her? I won’t do anything. I would never mate you like this. Let her out. I won’t leave you, but struggling against her… It’ll hurt more and more.” Grayson lowered until he squatted at her eye level.
That’s when she realized she’d scrambled until her back rested against the porch railing. She’d fallen to the ground, fighting to get away from them all.
“You know me. Let her go. I’ll protect you.”
She did know him. Not like the others, not like him. She could trust this male and both parts of her accepted that fact.
Tears stung her eyes and her human desires faltered, wavered enough for the animal to take control. The process that’d been stuttered and agonizing rippled through her in a gentle wave. One moment she was a cowering woman and the next, the lioness had the power.
Honor’s clothes were wrapped around her feline form, holding her captive. She growled and tugged on the fabric, yanking it in an effort to rend the top and baggy shorts. Well, they weren’t very baggy any longer.
A movement to her right snared her attention and she swung her head around to snarl at the approaching figure. Immediately the person froze and she flared her nostrils while also letting her mouth drop open a tiny bit.
Maya. Prima. She shouldn’t have snarled, but…
Another move, another body, another breath. Alex. Prime. He frowned at her, but didn’t reprimand her. Instead, he wrapped his arm around the Prima and drew her away.
That left her with… Delicious. That was a scent she could enjoy the rest of her life. Yes, it was the aroma of her mate. Her mate. Her human side wanted to push him away, but now the cat was in control.
“Hey.” He moved slow and easy, stayed low so he was on her level.
Good, considerate mate.
“I’m gonna untangle you. Then you can decide what you wanna do.”
She chuffed in permission, allowing him to approach and rip her clothes away. This was what she desired anyway, she wanted her mate close, touching and petting her.
Thick fingers skimmed her back, sliding along her foreleg. Then he grasped the fabric and yanked, the top sliding away in a flutter of material. He eased his hands down her spine, nearing her haunches, and then tension filled her.
He was close to there. So close. Did she want…? No. She didn’t. Not yet. As much as she’d wanted out, wanted to get closer, she didn’t want that.
Grayson must have sensed her unease. “Easy. One more second and I’ll have you free. Just be easy.”
A tug and then he removed his hands entirely, his touch fleeing. Part of her wanted to whine in objection, but Honor-the-human rushed forward fast enough to stomp the idea into the ground. Her mate stepped away, eased back the way he’d come and settled onto one of the deck chairs. He propped his elbows on his knees, fingers twined.
“What’s next?”
Honor huffed and then sneezed, shaking her head after the action. It’d been a while since she’d walked as a lioness apart from training. Since… well, since January fifteenth. She’d planned on never wearing fur for any reason other than defense, but the cat was too strong, especially with her mate nearby.
She turned her attention to the forest, to the familiar pride lands. She’d spent gathering after gathering amongst those trees. Sometimes chasing, sometimes being chased. She’d hunted with her pride and run for the fun of running.
Could she let one male, one pride, take that from her?
Part of her said yes, yes they could.
“Honor?” She swung her gaze to Grayson. Other than Alex, he was the strongest male she knew.
Oh, her brother was big and bad with a hair-trigger temper, but Grayson waited. He waited and strategized and took down his adversary before they even knew they were hunted.
She had no doubt she’d be safe with him.
That thought in mind, she eased past him and launched herself off the top step of the porch, landing with a low grunt on the grass below. She looked over her shoulder, tail flicking in excitement with a hint of nervousness. A tilt of her head in invitation was all it took to urge him into action. He rose and tugged his shirt free of his jeans. That’s when she redirected her attention, focusing on the trees in the distance. There were things she wanted and just as many she wasn’t ready for. A nude Grayson was one of those.
His nails scratched and clicked on the worn wood of the patio, his steps deliberate as he walked. He didn’t want to surprise her and his consideration put her at ease. She could do this. She could run with her mate at her side.
Some asshole in London wouldn’t take that from her.
68
“There are a gabillion people in the world. Don’t let that one ruin your day. Just kill him and be done with it already.” — Maya O’Connell, Prima of the Ridgeville Pride and woman who has totally never killed anyone. Ever. Especially if the government is hanging around.
Almost a week to the day after their run, Grayson stood on Alex’s doorstep once again. The first run with Honor had gone well, despite his cat’s urgings to take her and mark her. It wanted to claim her once and for all. Holding the animal back was the right choice then as it would be the right choice now.
Nothing good could come from rushing her. Not after what she’d been through. Then again, he didn’t know what she’d endured. Not really. He did accept that whatever she experienced hacked at her connection to her lioness.
He rapped the solid panel with his knuckles and waited for someone to answer. The rapid patter of little feet reached him a bare second before whines and snarls came through the door.
“I’m doing it.”
“No, Mom said I could.”
“But I’m older.”
“I’m bigger.”
“We’re twins, stupid.”
Grayson wondered if the boys would remember to unlock the door before they tore into one another. When a small hint of their blood hit his nose, he realized they wouldn’t. He sighed. Shifter children could be a little bloody and ruthless, brothers especially.
Shaking his head, he turned and thumped down the porch steps. He’d go around and see if someone answered the back door. He was sure Maya or Alex would break up the fight. But there was no telling how long it’d take for them to separate the boys and then remember someone knocked.
He rounded the back corner of the pride house, intent on his destination. He didn’t catch her scent until he hit the bottom stair leading to the porch. The sweetness, the delicate flavors mixed with a tiny whisper of emotional pain, reached him. He scanned the patio with his gaze, searching for the source, and found her lazing on one of the larger deck chairs. She was shifted, her golden fur shining in the growing light of day. Her amber eyes met his and they slowly slid shut before opening once again.
Humans called them “kitty kisses.”
For big cats, the slow lowering of the lids was a sign of trust, a deliberate choice to close their eyes and give someone the opportunity to attack. In that blind moment, she was vulnerable.
That small show of faith rocked him to his toes. He’d called and checked on her every day after the initial adventure into the forest. They hadn’t gone far and lingered along the edges of the tree line for most of their run, but she’d seemed happy and energized when they’d returned to the house. She kept her fur on until she got to her room and eventually came down fully dressed.
After a subdued dinner and her agreement she’d take his calls, he’d left.
Now, he was back at her request. She’d told him to stop by anytime so he’d shown up as early as he figured he could. The Prima wasn’t one for being awakened at the butt crack of dawn, so he came o
ver at the lower back of dawn.
He approached her slowly, carefully making his way to her. He noted each creak and groan, reminding him he needed to get some guys out to look at it and make any necessary repairs. The last thing he wanted was a beam to snap under the weight of a lion. Well, one particular lioness, really.
“Hey, g’morning,” he whispered. She seemed calm, at ease, and he didn’t want to destroy that peace. She had so little of it with the twins clamoring around the house and her fears still riding her.
He didn’t know them all, but he hoped he would someday.
Honor chuffed and blinked at him once again. It was slow, deliberate, and sexy as hell. She was so… beautiful. Sleek and strong and his. His.
He lowered himself to a chair close to her, moving at a leisurely pace. He couldn’t exactly talk with her like this, but being near her was enough.
While they’d spoken on the phone each night, she hadn’t brought up further visits and he hadn’t asked. But last night…
Grayson was stretched out on his bed and reached for the phone. Before he even had it fully in hand, it rang. The sound startled him into dropping it, sending the thing clattering on the ground. What the hell? No one called him on the hotel phone. Ever. He didn’t think anyone other than Honor had this number. Everyone usually texted or contacted him through his cell.
Honor.
He rolled from the bed and snatched the handset, peeking at the caller ID before he accepted the call.
Alex O’Connell. The pride house.
Grayson quickly pressed the button to answer and placed the phone against his ear. “Hello?”
He held his breath, waiting to hear who’d reached out to him, praying it was his mate.
“Grayson?”
His heart skipped a beat. She’d made that first step, the first call, on her own. “Hey.”
“Hi,” she whispered and then cleared her throat. “I called you.”
He grinned. “You did. I was about to call you though.”
“I-I know. I wanted…” Honor huffed. “I wanted to know if you’d like to stop by tomorrow? Lunch or dinner or breakfast or…?” She growled and he refused to let his body respond to the sound. It wasn’t sexual in nature, at least not yet, and he wasn’t going to become aroused. He wasn’t. “I’ve never done the dating thing. I don’t—”