by Helen Lacey
That got him. Right where it hurt. Because he was out of the corral and barely two feet in front of her within seconds. And he was angry. Well...good. She was angry, too. He stared at her. Through her. And with such blistering intensity it made her knees weak.
“So...go ahead,” he said, his jaw so tight his lips barely moved. “Ask me.”
She swallowed hard and ignored the rapid thump of her heart. “What happened?” When he didn’t respond she pushed further. “What did Doug do?”
Tanner’s expression was like granite. “There’s no going back from this, Cassie.”
“I don’t care.”
“Okay. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He took a breath. Sharp. Short. And then he spoke. “He stole my inheritance.”
Cassie stepped back. “What? I don’t know what that means?”
“When our parents were killed he sold the farm that had been in our family for five generations and then shuffled me off to boarding school. The proceeds were split and since Doug was my legal guardian he had access to my trust fund.”
“How...how much money was there?”
He named the sum. A huge amount. Hundreds and hundreds of thousands.
“And he stole it from you?” she asked, horrified. “From his only family?”
Tanner nodded. “Yes. He gambled. He wasted it on questionable investments. He bought cars, boats...anything he wanted.”
“But why would he do—”
“Because he was selfish and irresponsible,” he said, cutting her off. “Because he was like two different men. He was the soldier, brave and trustworthy. And he was the civilian, self-absorbed and deceitful.” Tanner took a long breath. “Are you happy now, Cassie? Does knowing what Doug was capable of give you some insight you didn’t previously have?”
She didn’t want to believe it. Didn’t want to imagine that the man she thought she loved could do something so despicable. “That’s why you hated him.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t hate him. He was my brother and I loved him. I just didn’t like him very much. And I made a promise to myself years ago that I would never act like him. Never be that kind of man.”
Cassie sucked in some air. She had her answer. “That’s why he left everything to you. He was ashamed.”
“Probably.”
“And that’s also why you don’t want the house and why you’re so determined not to challenge the terms of the will. And why you want to leave any money in trust for Oliver. Right?”
He nodded. “Right.”
Cassie felt sick to the stomach. “I can’t believe he’d do such a terrible thing.”
“I’ve no reason to lie to you.”
“I know that,” she replied. “And I believe you. I just don’t want to believe it.”
“I told you there was no going back from this.”
The sour taste in her mouth remained. It was reprehensible. The lowest of acts. And she was glad she knew.
“You know, despite what you think, I’ve never worn rose-colored glasses when it came to Doug.”
One dark brow came up. “Really? You seemed to put up with his behavior for long enough.”
“What does that mean?”
He shrugged one magnificent shoulder. “You said yourself that Doug was never around. Who puts up with that? Who values themselves so little that they would settle for a man who appeared to just want a warm body in his bed whenever he was in town?”
His words cut her to the quick, and without thinking she slapped his face. It was the first time she’d ever done anything like it.
Mortified, Cassie stumbled backward and landed against the fence. Her hand stung and she could see the growing outline of her fingertips on his cheek. Shame washed over her and she drew in a shaky breath. “I’m so...sorry... I shouldn’t have—”
“No,” he said with a wry half smile as he rubbed his cheek. “But I probably deserved it.”
She wanted to agree, but couldn’t. There was no excuse for what she’d done. “I really am sorry, Tanner. I don’t know what it is about you...but you push my buttons in a way that’s very confusing. One minute we’re friendly and the next there’s this...this unbelievable tension that I can’t explain. But I am sorry I hit you. I would certainly never condone violence in any—”
He laughed loudly and she stopped speaking. “Ah, Cassie...I think we’re both...tense. And I think we both know why.”
There was an intimate, seductive tone to his voice and it wound up her spine like liquid. Cassie pushed back further against the corral and drew in a shallow breath. “I don’t know what—”
“Sure you do,” Tanner said as he stepped closer and rested one hand on the top fence rung. “And it certainly hasn’t been easy being attracted to you and not being able to do anything about it.”
Oh, sweet heaven...
Cassie’s legs turned to Jell-O. She swallowed hard, watching him observe the movement of her throat with scorching intensity. He was close and she could feel the heat emanating from his body. Desire thrummed between them and she couldn’t have denied it if she’d tried. It had been building all week. And longer. Since the first time he’d come to visit Doug several years earlier. Being around Tanner had made her nervous, on edge. Back then she’d put it down to him being unfriendly and distant. But now she knew the truth. He wasn’t unfriendly. He was funny and charming and personable. The distance she’d felt had been of her own making. Her nerves were fueled by her awareness of him. Of her attraction. And now she had nothing to hide behind.
He wanted her.
She wanted him.
It was as simple—and as complicated—as that.
He reached up and touched her hair, twirling a few strands between his fingertips. The heat grew. Her awareness amplified by his close proximity. She could have ducked beneath his arm and ran. She could have found safety in the house with Ruthie and Oliver and defied the sudden desire racing across her skin.
It’s wrong to want him...
But she didn’t move. Every part of her was attuned to Tanner in that moment. Her breasts were barely inches from his chest and she fought the urge to press closer, to feel his strong body, to run her hands down his shoulders and arms and lose herself in his kiss.
“Do you think I’d do it here?” His voice was little more than a husky whisper as he looked down into her upturned face. “Do you think I’d kiss you here...out in the open? Is that what you want?”
What she wanted was to drag him into the stable and tear off his clothes and make love with him. Mindless, hot sex that would satisfy the passionate hunger thrashing through her body.
“No...no...” she said, her denials trailing off as he moved a little closer.
There was almost nothing between them now. Barely a whisper of space.
“You’re sure?” he queried, his mouth against her ear.
Cassie felt his warm breath and her skin quickly turned to gooseflesh. No man had ever had such a profound sexual effect on her. Not Doug. Nor the one lover she’d had before him. This kind of thing didn’t happen to her. She was an ordinary woman having an extraordinary reaction to the most beautiful man on the planet. And she couldn’t control it. Couldn’t contain it. Couldn’t do anything other than stare into his dark brown eyes and wonder what his kiss would taste like, what his touch and complete possession would feel like.
And again, as if it had happened countless times before, she experienced a jolt of hazy recognition way down deep. As if...as if she’d known his kiss...his touch, in some long forgotten memory. In another life. Another time.
“We should get back to the house,” he said softly, unmoving.
He was right. Ruthie Nevelson would have a bird’s-eye view of them from her house. She was probably up there wondering what they were up to. They weren’t touching. Weren’t kissing. But she was pretty sure that from a distance it looked exactly as if they were.
“Yes,” she said finally and ducked past him. “Good idea.”
Her
legs were still wobbly, but by the time she walked across the yard and reached the porch steps she’d regathered her composure and had stopped visibly shaking. She tapped on the door and waited for Ruthie’s invitation to enter. She’d never been inside the Nevelson farmhouse before. But it was big and filled with beautiful antique furnishings. Cassie followed the sound of the other woman’s voice and found her in the kitchen, with Oliver bouncing happily in her lap.
“He’s an adorable little boy,” Ruthie said when Cassie entered the room. “I can see why Tanner is so smitten.”
Ruthie’s brows were both up, as though there was a question in her words. Cassie did her best to ignore it. Imagining Tanner smitten or anything else wasn’t good for her peace of mind. And it confirmed her suspicions that Ruthie had seen them by the corral.
“He’s a good baby,” she said as casually as she could. “I feel very blessed.”
“You should,” Ruthie said and sighed. “Every child is a blessing. I never got to have any myself. But there’s no point wailing about what isn’t to be. Life’s too short for wailing, don’t you think?”
Cassie smiled. There was something incredibly likable about Ruthie Nevelson. It didn’t surprise her that Tanner was so fond of the older woman.
Tanner...
In between the almost kiss and learning about what Doug had done, she was more confused than ever. Thinking about Doug’s betrayal was mind-numbing. That he could be so callous, so inconsiderate and deceptive, chilled her to the bone. She felt deceived, too. By the man she’d believed she knew. By the man she’d believed she loved. Tanner had suggested she was simply warming Doug’s bed. Was that all she was to him? Had she put her blinkers on to avoid seeing that was all she was?
As hard as it was to admit, Cassie knew that a man who could steal from his younger brother in such a terrible way could easily fool a gullible and trusting woman into thinking he loved her.
“Yes,” she said and laughed softly. “There’s no point in wailing. No point at all.”
They heard a sound coming from the back and Ruthie got to her feet. “That’ll be Tanner. Got him working to keep his mind off things.”
“Things?” Cassie echoed.
“You know,” Ruthie said and grinned. “Things.”
You...
That’s what the older woman meant. And Cassie wished she could work to take her mind off him, Doug and everything else. Not even Oliver could keep her thoughts on track.
“You know he’s a good man, don’t you?” Ruthie asked unexpectedly.
Cassie’s skin heated. “Yes, of course I—”
“Too good to be messed with,” Ruthie said and looked toward the back door. “You know what I mean. He got his heart broke a long time ago... I’d hate to see that happen again.”
Cassie stilled. Obviously Ruthie was referring to what Doug had done with his inheritance. And of course Tanner was hurt by his brother’s betrayal.
“I don’t see how it will,” she said and took Oliver into her arms. “He’s leaving in a few weeks and won’t be back for a while. If ever.”
Ruthie looked at the baby. “Oh, he’ll be back. His attachment to this little boy will keep him tied to Crystal Point.”
“I’d like Oliver to know his uncle.”
“Of course. You both have so little family it’s important to keep in touch.”
If it was a dig it was a soft one. And Cassie didn’t mind. Ruthie Nevelson was like a grandmother to Tanner and she knew her motives were borne out of caring. Ruthie changed the subject and asked about her grandfather.
“He’s not doing so well,” she explained, remembering that Ruthie had known her granddad for many years. “I go and see him every week and sometimes he knows me and other times he doesn’t.”
Ruthie nodded. “It was good of Neville to take you in when your folks passed away. Especially when he was grieving the loss of his only son. I believe your grandmother had died only a year earlier.”
“That’s right. Gran had a seizure and died unexpectedly. Then my parents...” Her words trailed for a moment. “He was strong back then. And kind. He made a home for me and did his best. But I know the end is coming and as much as I’m prepared for it, I can’t quite believe that once he’s gone there’ll only be Oliver and myself left in my family.”
“Then you should get married and have a whole bunch of kids,” Ruthie suggested. “I keep telling Tanner the same thing. Let this lonely old woman be a lesson to you.” She gestured to their surroundings. “No point in having all this if you’ve no one to leave it to.”
Marriage? More children? It was a lovely dream. “You’re right. And I will.” She smiled. “I promise.”
“Watch making promises to Ruthie,” a deep voice said from the doorway. “She’ll hold you to them.”
Ruthie guffawed and the sound made Cassie smile. Tanner stepped into the room and dropped his hat on the counter. Oliver squealed delightedly when he recognized him.
“Hey, little man,” Tanner said and reached for him immediately. “Come here.”
“See,” Cassie complained lightheartedly. “I’m forgotten once he claps eyes on his favorite uncle.”
Oliver was so happy to see Tanner it made her heart ache. And she was glad her son had someone else to love and protect him.
The only thing was, she wished she had someone like that, too.
“I’ll make coffee and we’ll go and sit in the front room.”
“I really can’t stay,” Cassie said. “I have to—”
“Nonsense,” Ruthie scolded gently. “I’d like to get to know Oliver a little better. And it’s Saturday... What’s more important than spending time with family on the weekend?”
She had a point. Even if thinking of Ruthie as family was a stretch. But she was family to Tanner, so Cassie wasn’t about to argue the point. “Okay. I’ll stay.”
“Good,” Ruthie said and pulled a tray down from a cupboard. “You two go on ahead and I’ll bring it in.”
Tanner was grinning, as if he knew exactly how it was to deny Ruthie Nevelson anything and not get your own way. He carried Oliver down the hallway and into the front living room. Cassie followed and stilled when she reached the doorway. The silky oak furniture and tapestries were magnificent and she let out a sigh.
“This is such a beautiful house.”
Tanner was by the fireplace. “It became a home to me after my parents died.”
Cassie crossed her arms. “We really did have similar childhoods. I mean, I know you were sent away to school, but you had a strong role model in Ruthie, like I did with my grandfather. Did you know our birthdays are only four days apart? I remember Doug telling me that a long time ago. We’ll both be thirty-one next month.”
He didn’t say anything. He didn’t move other than to gently rub the back of Oliver’s head. Cassie looked at him and felt the heat in his stare.
It certainly hasn’t been easy being attracted to you...
His words swirled around in her head. His confession should have sent her running. But she was inexplicably drawn to him. Like air to lungs. Like water to sand. Tanner McCord had awakened her sleeping libido with a resounding thud.
“How’s your cheek?” she asked quietly.
“I’ll live.”
“I’ve never hit anyone before,” she admitted. “You know, no siblings to wrestle with...no fights in the playground. That was my first slug.”
“It was a good one.”
She smiled and moved into the room. “Did you and Doug fight much?”
“No,” he replied. “I guess the age difference made it hard to have the usual brother-on-brother wrestling matches. I did break his nose when I was eighteen, though.”
Her eyes widened and she recalled Doug’s slightly crooked nose. “On purpose?”
“Yeah. He hammered me afterward, but I still managed to get one good punch in.”
Cassie grinned. “Well, I’m sure you had your reasons, considering the history.”
&nb
sp; He rocked Oliver gently in his arms and Cassie’s heart wrenched seeing them together. He’d make such a good dad one day. She almost told him so, but stopped herself. There was enough tension between them without him mistakenly thinking she was lining him up as a candidate to be Oliver’s father.
Which I’m not.
She shrugged and started looking at the rows of photographs above the fireplace and another row on the sideboard. There were pictures of Ruthie and her husband. Snapshots of horses and dogs and cattle. And there were some of Tanner, too. One from when he was at school and a few she recognized from the albums Doug had kept. A photo at the back caught her attention. It was obviously Tanner as a teenager, all rangy shoulders and long legs, wearing a plaid shirt and jeans and a cowboy hat. He stood beside a horse, a tall, pale coffee-colored animal that somehow tripped a wire in her brain. And a memory.
I know that horse...
I know that boy...
And then, like a speedy camera rolling out in reverse, realization hit.
The beach. The horse. The boy.
The kiss...
Cassie snapped her head around and stared at him. His dark eyes narrowed just a fraction, enough for her to read the truth in them. He knew. He’d known all along.
“Oh, my God...that was you?” Her head reeled, her heart pounded. “That day on the beach...when we were young...you were the boy I...”
It made perfect, impossible sense. There had always been something familiar about Tanner. A kind of hazy awareness she couldn’t decipher. Now she knew why. He was familiar. He was that boy. She looked at her son, so happy and content in Tanner’s arms. Resentment flared and she quickly moved across the room and took her baby from his arms.
“I have to get out of here,” she said and took a step toward the door.
He grasped her arm. “Cassie, wait—”
“Don’t you get it?” she said, pulling free. “Every time I’ve been around you, I’ve always had this...feeling. This sense that I know you. It’s twisted at my insides since that first time you came to visit Doug. I thought... I thought that I was just so attracted to you it made me imagine things. And I felt such guilt because I was with Doug and I shouldn’t have been thinking that about someone else in that way...in any way. But it wasn’t that at all. It was the memory of some silly schoolgirl infatuation when I was thirteen. It was some romantic fantasy I’d created in my head about being swept off my feet. And it stayed with me all my life. Even when I was with Doug, especially when I was with Doug, I was always comparing it to that feeling...that fleeting feeling I had when I was this lonely, love-struck thirteen-year-old crushing on the guy who kissed me for the very first time.”