I can’t get in.
Chapter Forty-eight – Tessa
The door unlocks and Jeremiah stands in front of us.
“You’re here,” Mellie whispers, and the way she looks at him is full of devotion. Maybe Abram was right. Maybe Jeremiah and Mellie are more committed to one another than they are to the Circle.
The tension in my body only eases a little because the smoke is everywhere. Lacey’s coughing and breathing hard.
“We need to leave,” Jeremiah says and his tone is still soothing. His shoulder’s bleeding and he’s limping. He came back for us. Instead of obeying Abram, he came back for us, for Mellie.
I want to rush to the door, but the smoke is everywhere and I can’t move. Jeremiah unties Mellie first. “We need to leave. Abram’s gone. He fled. He told me I could come with him. Start a fresh family somewhere else. He was lying about everything. He killed Dawn. She wanted to help Lila and he killed her.”
Lacey gasps. “Where is Lila? Where is Luke?”
“They’re safe. They’re out.”
Lacey and I exchange a relieved look, but it’s short-lived. I move my hands but the knot doesn’t give. “Please, help me. I can’t move. I still can’t move.”
Flames lick the door. There’s a loud crash and all we hear is the fire.
“We need to go!” His voice is panicked.
Mellie finally managers to untie me while Jeremiah unties Lacey. We crawl on the floor. Jeremiah motions for us to go to the window. “The stairs are on fire. Everything is on fire.” Blood drips from his wound.
“You’ve been shot.”
Mellie gasps and turns to him. “Who did that?”
“Abram. When I told him I wouldn’t leave with him.”
I shiver despite the heat. Abram organized all of this. “We’re going to need to jump.” I point to the window, grab a book from a small table and throw it against it. But the window doesn’t shatter. Lacey turns around. The room seems to have been an office at some point. There’s a desk with an iron paperweight on it. Lacey slowly stands and her hand touches it. She screams. It’s probably burning her skin. She picks it up, hacking, and throws it against the window. It shatters.
Jeremiah helps Mellie up, but then he collapses back on the floor. He may have lost too much blood. “Go,” he tells Mellie. And then breathes out. “Everything was a lie.” A cough racks his body. “I don’t want you to die, Melanie. The Book said the leader would lead us through the end of the world. Abram isn’t the leader. It’s not time.”
He still believes.
After everything, he still believes. Maybe he needs to. Otherwise, his entire life wouldn’t have only been a lie, but a lie with no hope.
“We need to go,” I urge them but Mellie’s still looking at him, listening to him. Lacey’s removing shards so we can jump.
“There are flames everywhere.” She turns to us. “We don’t have much time.”
Jeremiah winces. Blood continues to gush from his wound. He sounds weaker. “Your parents…they never went on a cruise. They never read your letters.” He sounds like he can barely inhale without being in pain. “Abram told me you’d be happier with the Circle. I really thought…” He coughs again and blood sputters out. “I really thought I was saving you.” And then he turns to me. “It’s your turn to save her. Please.”
I nod and pull Mellie to me. She doesn’t resist. We’re maybe nine feet above ground. There’s a lot of smoke.
“The house is surrounded by a garden,” Lacey tells us. “Remember?” She sounds reassuring. “We’re going to be okay.”
“We are,” I reply even though my stomach clenches with fear. “Jump,” I tell Lacey. Her entire body shakes, but she slowly puts one foot out of the window, holding herself on the edge. Her hands are full of blood. “You need to jump,” I repeat and she does.
Mellie pushes me to the window. The smoke blurs almost everything, but I spot a firefighter truck. We can be saved. We can go home. We can start fresh. My sister will be with us again. “I’ll follow you.” The window is too small for us both to go together.
“You go first,” I tell her but she shakes her head.
“I’ll follow you,” she says again. She pushes me forward and lets go of my hand. “Please, I need to make sure you’re okay. I’ll follow you.”
And I believe her.
I hurry out. The burn on my arm is still radiating pain through my entire body, but I grind my teeth and follow the path Lacey took. My hands are still on the edge on the window when Mellie looks down at me. “I need to save him too—I’ll be right there. We’ll sing on the roof again looking at the stars. I promise.” And she forces my hands away from the edge before I can try to do anything to change her mind.
I fall.
Chapter Forty-nine – Mellie
I want to live. I want to see my parents again and tell them how sorry I am. The tears run down my face freely. Tears for what I’ve done and what I may never be able to do. I can’t leave him behind. He saved me. Maybe not the way he thought, but he protected me from Abram. I understand it now. If Abram had gotten to me earlier, I’d be like Lacey’s mom. I’d be dead.
The fire rages and a shelf falls down close to us.
I try to ignore it, try to ignore the panic and the fear racing through my veins. I kneel next to Jeremiah.
The fire closes in. The heat engulfs us.
He whimpers. “You need to go.”
“Not without you.” The flames get closer and closer. I need to save him, to save us.
The smoke enters my mouth, my nose. I pull him toward me. He opens his eyes and propels himself forward. “Please, you…you need to jump.”
I cough. And cough. And cough. Breathing becomes harder and harder. “We…together.”
Another loud noise. A siren.
“I…save…you.”
The fire surrounds us. My skin burns. I can’t breathe.
I’ll never see my parents again.
I’ll never see Tessa again.
I’ll never sing with her on the roof again.
Flames lick my skin and I hold on to Jeremiah. He tries to protect me.
It’s too late.
Chapter Fifty – Luke
“You have to let me go in,” I yell at the firefighters again. I rush to the side but there’s no other entrance. I’ve been circling the house for what seems like forever, trying to find a way to get inside, to save them. They can’t die in there. They can’t. The flames continue to grow. “There are more people inside.” I cry out with what’s left of my voice and I charge again toward the main entrance. A firefighter holds me back.
“You need to let us do our job. We can’t worry about you too.” His tone is serious but he doesn’t understand. I need to save them.
“There!” someone screams, pointing at a window on the left. Lacey. That’s Lacey among the smoke.
“That’s my sister. Let go of me!” I scream and break free. My heart is in my throat as she jumps. Another firefighter arrives before me. He’s checking her ankles. She landed in one of the tomato plants.
“Is she okay?” I ask, afraid to hear the answer. Lacey hasn’t moved, but then she yelps as he touches her leg.
“She’s going to be.” He gently wipes her hair away from her face. “She might have broken her leg but she’s going to be okay.”
“Lila.” That’s the only word she whispers.
I take her hand in mine. “Safe.”
She exhales and closes her eyes. Someone brings a stretcher and the firefighter carefully places Lacey on it. “We need to take her to the hospital,” he says and she holds his hand. Lacey and Lila are both safe.
“Where’s Tessa?” I’m about to charge into the main house again
“There’s someone else at the window.”
Tessa and Mellie. Tessa hangs by her hands with her feet dangling. She’s not letting go. Mellie’s talking to her and then she shoves her sister and Tessa screams as she falls. Feet first. She crashes to t
he ground.
The firefighters get there before I do. One of them wants me to follow him to get checked too, but I need to see her. I rush to her.
“Mellie wants to save Jeremiah,” Tessa says. Sweat pearls down her face full of ash. Her hands look burned. “Is she behind me? Are they jumping?” Her voice breaks and she struggles to stand.
“We need to check you out, miss.”
“My sister is in the house,” she cries out, and I can hear her heart breaking with every word. “My sister’s still in the house,” she whimpers. “Please, you need to go get her.” She sounds desperate and I wish I could take her pain away. Her sister might still jump. She might still come, but the flames engulf that part of the house completely too.
“Run!” A firefighter grabs my arm while another picks up Tessa and carry her a few feet away.
The house collapses.
“No!” Tessa cries out, trying to break free from the firefighter’s hold but wincing at the pain. “Mellie!” Her voice breaks and she coughs violently
The firefighter carrying Tessa brings her to an ambulance. I climb in with her.
She closes her eyes, coughing. Tears fall down her face. “I’ll never see her again. She promised we would sing together again. On the roof. Like when we were kids,” she whispers, her voice breaking. She wheezes.
“Son, you need to move. We need to check her out for smoke inhalation.”
Tessa tries to sit up but she closes her eyes. “Everything moves. Everything turns.”
“You need to stay still,” the paramedic tells her. “There could be some toxin inhalation. Symptoms don’t necessarily show up right away. We need to go to the hospital.” He turns to me for a second. “We need to get you checked up too.”He hooks Tessa up to an oxygen mask. I take her hand in mine, wishing I could take away her pain, knowing she will need help to deal with the guilt, with the horrors. We’re all going to need help.
I caress her hair gently. Her eyes are still closed. “You helped me fight. I could hear your voice telling me to keep going,” I whisper. “I love you. We’re going to make it together.”
Three months later – Tessa
It’s been three months since the fire. Three months since Mellie died. Three months since I’ve been waking up every single night to the same nightmare: Mellie calling my name, asking me to save her, asking me to save them.
Lacey had to stay at the hospital for a few days. On top of suffering from smoke inhalation, her leg was broken in several places. Lila is back with Amya and Mitch. She asks about her mom regularly and cries often. Luke’s uncle was operated on several times, and he’s almost ready to go back to work. Lacey lives with him and Luke. The money Faye received was tracked to one of Abram’s accounts—and the story of her death was in Mellie’s diary. Her son’s doing better. He’s receiving the needed treatment thanks to donations. One of her only friends said Abrams promised her money if she met Mellie at that gas station and played the role of a psychic. And then when she wanted to come clean, he blackmailed her, scared her into thinking her son would never that operation. He wanted to test Jeremiah’s trust in him and instead thought he and Mellie were too close to one another.
“I’ll see you again next week,” my therapist tells me as he gives me a refill for my anti-anxiety prescription. It took him a month to find the right dosage, but even though I still have issues taking a deep breath without remembering what happened, it’s helped me relax and be more focused.
Mom and Dad are both waiting for me. They’re back in counseling too. On top of the family counseling, they’re going through couples counseling. Last time, Mom gave up on couples counseling, but this time she’s sticking through it. She’s also seeing a therapist by herself again. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay driving?” Mom asks, giving me a hug.
“I’ll be okay.”
Dad caresses my hair. “We’re proud of you for finishing your school year the way you did and for the fundraiser you’re organizing.”
“Thank you.” I watch them. They look like they’ve aged thirty years, but they’re leaning on one another for support. Dad hasn’t moved back home, but he moved back closer to town and they’re helping each other work through their grief. They told me they weren’t sure if they would ever get back together, but they want to be there for me.
I hug them both again and head out. The summer is almost here, only a few more days and at the end of the month, I’ll be singing at a fundraiser I organized with an association that helps victims of cults.
I’m still thinking about college. I’m looking at different voice programs, but I’m also interested in music therapy. I enrolled at the local community college and applied to more scholarships.
Abram was caught when attempting to cross into Canada. Mason ratted him out when he was arrested one day after the fire. Abram’s claiming from jail that the end of the world is coming. From what I’ve heard, he’s recruiting new members.
The FBI thinks the danger has passed for us. With both Mason and Abram in jail and other members of the Circle trying to grasp what happened, we should be safe.
I slide into my car. My phone beeps with a text from Luke. How was it? We’re still on for meeting at the lake?
He thinks my nightmares will go away at some point. He said I should reread the part in Mellie’s diary where she speaks about me and about Jeremiah.
My phone rings and Luke’s warm voice is like a cushy pillow that supports me. “Maybe, he’s right.”
“The last time I tried to read her diary, I threw up and didn’t leave my room for three days.”
“I can be there while you read it.”
I hesitate, but then exhale loudly. “I’ll bring it to the lake.” I lean back in my seat. “How are you?”
“I’ve got my meeting tomorrow, and Uncle John’s helping me write letters of motivation for internships at the local after-class programs for the elementary school kids. I might be able to shadow someone for two weeks this summer.”
“I told you he would help you.”
“And you were right.” He pauses, and I imagine him leaning on his bed with his dirty clothes scattered around. We spent hours making out on his bed—it took us about four weeks before feeling like we weren’t betraying anyone’s memory by enjoying one another. Before moving forward. “I love you.”
“I love you too. See you at the lake,” I reply and wish I could give him a hug via the phone.
I need to go home to let Buster out. The road to our mobile home isn’t long. “How are you doing, Tessita?” Mrs. Fernandéz asks me as soon as I pull up. She’s sitting outside with a pitcher of ice tea and Diego. Diego’s been spending more and more time with her. His nineteenth birthday is in four months and all he wishes for is to see his mom. She’s fighting, filing papers to come home, but so far he’s still taking care of his little sister and living with Pablo. He wanted to leave, to go back to El Salvador but his mom called him in tears, telling him he needed to continue his life here. He, Luke and I spend more time at school together. Kenneth’s leaving us alone—for the most part. The swim team’s coach apparently had a talk with him, letting him know he was going to get kicked out of the team if he didn’t get his shit together. I wish he had that talk with him years ago but better late than never.
“I’m doing okay.”
Diego waves at me and chuckles. “I’m going to beat you this time.” They’re playing Scrabble and Diego said they could use English and Spanish words. I smile at them and open the door to our mobile home. Buster rushes to me and jumps on me, his tail wagging. Right after I came home from the hospital, he wouldn’t leave my side. He’d whine every single time I went to school and he wouldn’t let anybody close to me. He’s better now. I grab his harness in my room. My gaze dances to the other side of the room, where Mellie’s bed and posters and pictures used to be. We kept pictures but we added new ones too and instead of the bed, we put a small couch and a bookshelf.
Her diary is on that bookshelf.
Mom and Dad started reading it but decided those were Mellie’s private thoughts. Before giving it to us, Luke’s uncle marked a few pages he told me might help me move forward. When he told me about it, he had tears in his eyes. Even though he’s still very uncomfortable showing any emotions, he was there for Luke and for me and my family after all that’s happened.
I gently take the diary and put it in my small cotton bag. I walk Buster, give him a few treats and a big cuddle, and then head out to the lake.
Luke’s already there, sitting by the water. We went to the bonfire yesterday evening and even danced a bit. He pulls me into a hug and feeling his arms around me, I melt into his embrace. And then chuckle, glancing up at him. “You put on too much Axe. For real.” I cough and he smiles.
“Maybe a little.” We both settle on the ground. Me between his legs. I hand him the diary.
“Can you read the passage for me? Your uncle marked two with Post-Its.”
“Are you sure?”
“Please,” I repeat and he kisses the top of my head.
“Okay.” He clears his throat.
“Dear Diary,
“I miss Tessa. I miss Mom and Dad, but I miss Tessa so much. I always told her she annoyed me but I hope she remembers we’re going to be sisters forever. Maybe we can be saved together. Jeremiah said maybe we could save Tessa too, but he said Mom and Dad didn’t love me. Master Abram told me Mom and Dad were beyond redemption.
At the beginning, I thought Jeremiah was lying but when he protected me from Master Abram months ago, I knew…I knew he cared.
“I wish Tessa and Jeremiah could meet.
“Maybe Tessa would tell me what happened with Isabel was an accident. That I didn’t mean for her to die. I couldn’t eat or breathe. I couldn’t go on for so long after Isabel died. Jeremiah brought me back to life. He listened to me and comforted me. Master Abram wanted me to disappear, but Jeremiah fought for me. Again.
“He’s my family too.”
Tears run down my face. “Isabel’s sister was so heartbroken. She always held hope her sister would come back. Mellie didn’t want Isabel to die. She didn’t know. She didn’t realize what was happening. She tried to call for Jeremiah, to open the latch but she couldn’t and Jeremiah wasn’t there.”
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