“Hey there, Jake. Brought you extra fries. And more of the tapioca pudding you like.” She winked at Jake.
“Thanks, Tiff. You’re the best.”
Phoebe tried not to roll her eyes when Tiffany fussed over the tray, opening the pudding for him and unwrapping the plastic spoon. “You let me know if you want any more. I’ll sneak you some.” There was that wink again. Phoebe fought the urge to ask her if she had something stuck in her eye.
Jake seemed embarrassed, but he thanked her again.
Tiffany tossed her hair and flashed him one more smile. “Bye for now!”
“Wait, where are you going?” Phoebe cried. She had no idea how to help Jake out of the chair, and she knew he was already drained from his OT session.
Tiffany halted, and looked Phoebe up and down. “To deliver lunches.”
“You’re not going to help him get into bed?”
“Oh, I can’t do that. I’m not certified staff.”
Phoebe scoffed. “Well, who is? He can’t just sit here.”
Tiffany glared.
“It’s okay,” Jake interjected. “Thanks, Tiffany. We’ll be fine.”
Tiffany smiled sweetly at Jake once more before leaving.
“Geez, Phoebs. Can you not alienate the staff? She’s a nice girl.”
“She’s a moron, and you’re engaged.” Phoebe bent down and adjusted the footings of his wheelchair. “If you fall on my watch, I will kill you. Shouldn’t Laverne be here for this?”
But Jake was already trying to lift himself out, balancing on one crutch. “Not unless I plan to take Laverne home with me, too,” he grunted. “This is part of my rehab. I can do it.”
She watched nervously as he lifted himself using the armrests. “How can I help? Do you want me to move the chair?” Oh, how she wished a therapist was there. She’d even take Tapioca Tiffany. If he fell now, with the rods and screws in his leg, she would need therapy.
Jake gritted his teeth as he balanced on his good leg. “Yes, back the chair up. Quickly.”
Phoebe whisked the wheelchair back and stood close, arms out. “You’ve got this,” she told him. She hoped she sounded more convincing than she felt.
Slowly, Jake managed to pivot so that his back was to the bed. She winced along with him as he leaned against it and slowly dragged himself up over the edge. At one point he caught sight of her expression. “Geez, Phoebs. Sorry this is so hard for you.”
“Shut up and keep going!”
Ever so slowly he scooted back against the pillows. When he finally collapsed against them, Phoebe settled in the bedside chair. She swiped the glass of cranberry juice from his lunch tray and sucked it loudly through the straw.
“Jesus. Next time I’m coming when you’re already in bed.”
“You would totally suck as a nurse,” he told her.
She laughed. “So, what’s the plan?”
“A few more days, then hopefully I get to go home.”
Which was exactly what worried Phoebe. “To where?”
Phoebe realized she was the problem. She was taking up valuable space in their parents’ house, all because of the renovation. Space Jake could’ve used.
As it was, he couldn’t possibly go home to his rental in Kent. His apartment was on the second floor of an old Victorian house off of Main Street, with a steep walk-up. Which left Olivia. Who had a tiny cottage on her employer’s property, and a daughter who was also fresh out of the hospital after the accident. “I don’t know.” Jake closed his eyes and let out a long breath. “I don’t want to be a burden to anybody, but I can’t see doing the stairs at my place just yet. Maybe to Olivia’s.”
That’s what Phoebe had been hoping he’d say, but it still made her feel bad. “I’ve fucked everything up,” she told him.
Jake opened his eyes. “Hey now, I’m not done complaining. Why do you always have to make everything about you?” He was trying to make her laugh, but she couldn’t.
“I’m serious. You should be going home to stay with Mom and Dad for a while. You need help. And you can’t because I’ve already flooded their house with my own people.”
Jake shook his head. “Phoebe, I probably wouldn’t have gone there anyway. They already have Grandma to look after.”
“See? Even that didn’t stop me. I’m a horrible person.”
Jake nodded. “It’s been established.” Then, turning to her, “Come on, sis. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s only temporary. Isn’t it about the electricity or something?”
Phoebe slumped in her chair. “Or something.” She needed to tell Jake. Everyone needed that person who, no matter what they said, wouldn’t judge. Who wouldn’t give unsolicited advice. Jake had always been her person.
With some effort, Jake pulled himself upright and adjusted his pillows so he could face her. “What’s really up?”
Phoebe reached for his tapioca pudding and snatched it off the tray. Jake handed her the spoon. Between giant mouthfuls, she told him. About the budget, the hidden problems of the build, the tension between her and Rob. And the fact that they were “shit out of money.”
When she had finished, both the tapioca and the horrid details, she burped.
Jake studied her. “Just so we’re clear, are you shit out of money, or just out of money?”
Phoebe chucked the empty container at him, and he ducked playfully, then gripped his cast. “Ow! No sudden movements.”
She jumped up. “Shit! Sorry.” And then she started to cry.
“Phoebs, it’s okay. I’m just joking.” Jake grabbed her hand. “Listen, if I had any extra cash, I’d give it to you, no questions asked. But I just bought Olivia an engagement ring, and this hospital bill isn’t going to be small.”
She swiped at her eyes, and held her hands up in protest. “No, that’s not why I’m telling you,” she insisted. “I just have to tell someone. I don’t know what else to do.”
“You have to tell Rob,” Jake said. “That’s the first thing.”
“He’s going to stroke out.”
“And so will you, if you don’t tell him. Look, I know you think you’re protecting him. But it’s obviously taking a toll on you, and, from what you’ve told me, on both of you. You’re stuck at Mom and Dad’s. You can’t get out of that situation until you finish the build. And you can’t finish the build. What choice do you have?”
Jake was right.
“I hate to say it, but have you considered that maybe it’s time to walk away?”
Phoebe jolted upright. “No. Not an option. It’s our dream. We’ve nearly killed ourselves to get it done.”
Jake regarded her sadly. “Phoebs. You’re killing yourself trying to hang on to it. Is that your dream?”
Phoebe reached for her purse. “Well, thanks for listening. I really need to get back to Mom’s and relieve her of the boys. I’m taking them to T-ball.”
But he wasn’t done yet. Jake snagged the straps of her purse just as she tugged it over her shoulder, and held on. “Phoebe. He’s your husband.” Jake was looking at her with too much sympathy, something Phoebe hated. People could disagree with her. They could dislike her. Hell, she didn’t care if they hated her. But she would not tolerate an ounce of sympathy.
“Call me if you need anything, okay? Company. A cheeseburger. A bottle of bourbon. Whatever.” She yanked the purse free from his hand, pecked him on the cheek, and headed for the door. “Thanks for the pudding.”
“Tell him!” he shouted after her.
Olivia
She was beside herself. They’d been home from the hospital for almost a week, and Luci still hadn’t spoken a word.
“It’s normal for a traumatic episode to trigger a setback,” Alison had explained at their last session. Olivia had called for an emergency appointment, even though Luci’s schedule had been reduced to once a week for “summer hours.”
“As prolonged as this?” Olivia couldn’t accept it. It was one thing for Luci to be mute around others or in public places. But at h
ome? With her own mother? It had become nearly impossible for Olivia to manage. Luci had reverted to gesturing and drawing, or worse, simply not expressing herself at all. And now that her arm was in a cast, Olivia felt stranded. They couldn’t go to the beach or swim at the lake. And it wasn’t like Luci had any real friends Olivia could call up for a playdate. Luci was hot and fidgety, and Olivia was at a loss as to how to fill their days.
As it was, Ben’s art show was coming up, and she needed to put in more hours in the barn studio. She was behind on publicity and had taken to loading Luci in the car and taking her with her when she went to the printers to pick up fliers and advertisements, and then all over Washington, Kent, Roxbury, and New Milford as they delivered them to local newspapers and posted them in bookstores, coffee shops, and dance studios. Marge was a big believer in local word of mouth, and despite Olivia’s attempt to bring the couple into the social media world, Marge still insisted she do it the old-fashioned way: in person and on foot.
“Honey, we live in the country,” she reminded Olivia, gently. “People know us. They look for our events in lifestyle magazines and on coffeehouse bulletin boards. Then they tell their friends.”
Personally, Olivia didn’t think it mattered where they lived. Instagram and Facebook would save them all a lot of trouble, if Ben would just allow it. But she honored their wishes, and loaded Luci into the car to make their deliveries. If nothing else, it broke up the day and gave her a respite from speech therapy and doctor appointments. There was comfort in doing ordinary things.
The pediatric orthopedist gave Olivia somewhat more hope. “She’s healing beautifully,” she told them. “Seven more weeks and this cast will be off.”
Just in time for summer and swim season to end, Olivia thought glumly, to herself. To Luci and the doctor, she quipped, “Great. Just in time for school!” She refused to wonder if Luci would still be silent then, as kindergarten started. Just in time to ruin her start to school and hopes to make friends. No, she would not project her doom and gloom that far ahead, she decided. Instead, she hurried Luci from the office, and straight over to the Sweet Spot ice cream shop, where she ordered Luci a strawberry cone, and a double scoop of coffee ice cream in a cup for herself. It wasn’t like she’d be at the beach anytime soon, she figured, as she dipped her spoon into the creamy caffeinated depths.
But there was more to concern herself with that day. Jake was coming home from rehab. From the start, there was no question in Olivia’s mind as to where he would go; he was her fiancé. But Jake saw it otherwise. “I can’t impose on you girls,” he’d insisted. “The cottage is tiny, and you’ve got your hands full already with Luci and with Ben’s upcoming show.”
Olivia had waved her hand, as if swatting away a fly. “Ridiculous. We’re going to be living together soon enough. And it’s a one-level entryway, unlike your place with all those stairs. Plus, I get to take care of you.”
It was what she’d wanted all along, really. To fall asleep and wake up next to the man she loved. Which they’d purposely held off on, solely for Luci’s sake. Since they’d been dating, they’d agreed to no overnights unless Luci was “sleeping over” at Marge and Ben’s. Which they’d managed to pull off a few times, though it never seemed enough. That was the hard part of “dating” as a single mother, the balance of personal needs with the respect and sensitivity to your child. Kids come first had always been her motto. And as hard as it was to uphold, especially on those nights she and Jake were nestled on her couch watching a movie, and she was so tired, and he felt so cozy, in the end she always managed to tear herself away and kiss him goodbye on the doorstep. It was a promise she’d made to herself as a parent, as much as to Luci. And one of the things she most loved about Jake was that whenever her resolve faltered, he was right there to prop her up. He was like that.
Now, however, they’d all be under the same roof. Perry’s visit to her house the other night had been unexpected, but not nearly as much as his message had been. It didn’t feel right, the two of them talking about Jake while he was stuck in recovery over at the rehabilitation center. A place he was dying to get out of, even though the thought of that worried Olivia just as much as her desire to spring him. What would he do when he was out? At least there he had a set schedule. There was PT and OT. There were doctor visits and people around to help with everything. Once he was home, he’d be bored stiff. Limited in both activity and independence. The thought of having to take care of him and get him to his appointments, to do the driving and cooking and housework alone, didn’t bother her so much. But adding that on top of everything else she was juggling at the moment was beginning to feel daunting.
Perry’s visit had been made with good intent, of that she was certain. If quirky, Perry was most certainly a noble guy. And Olivia could see in his eyes how conflicted he’d felt having to confront her like that, behind his little brother’s back. On some level, that took guts. But she accepted his news with a healthy measure of skepticism. This seemed tinged with that age-old sibling rivalry the two of them had been nursing for many years. From the beginning Jake had shared with her the complicated nature of their relationship, and his regret at never quite understanding it. This had all started well before she entered the picture, she reminded herself, and as such she would not allow Perry’s concerns to overshadow what she knew to be true of the man she wanted to marry. Jake’s heart was pure, and there was no ego in the way he conducted himself. All along, she had trusted him unconditionally. Something she’d never done before with anyone, especially since Luci’s father had walked out on her years before. Perry had his reasons for doubting Jake, just as Olivia had her own for trusting him implicitly. But though Perry did not change her mind, his visit had served to unnerve her. If anything, it seemed to have given voice to a growing doubt already within.
Something about the accident still didn’t sit right. Initially, Olivia had been consumed with making sure that Luci and Jake were all right. Then came the order of recovery: the surgery, the discharge to rehab, the subsequent doctor appointments. It had been easy to get sucked into the grind and therefore ignore any sense of discomfort she harbored.
But at night, when Luci was safely asleep down the hall and she was alone with her thoughts, Olivia faced questions. About how the boat could’ve just crashed like that. Jake was the one adult on the boat; and the one adult she trusted her baby with. There was no doubt he was suffering from guilt as much as from his physical injuries. So much so, that she wanted to alleviate it for him in any way she could. But still—there was that lurking sense of dread she felt in the middle of the night when her mind wandered. That somehow he wasn’t being straight with her. She’d pressed him in the hospital after the officers interviewed him, and he’d looked at her in a way that made her certain he was about to tell her something more. But he never did. Since then, a disquiet had simmered in Olivia’s head every night she lay it on her pillow.
But then morning would come. When sunlight streamed through the gauzy curtains in the cottage, and Buster stretched at the foot of her bed, and like the fog outside her window her doubts lifted. In the light of day, there were certain truths Olivia relied on: Jake loved Luci. He loved her. And he would’ve done anything to keep both of them safe.
In that vein, she determined to welcome him home. She’d put him on the couch and make it as comfortable as possible. That would solve the issue of the stairs, as well as her concern about sharing a bed with Jake in front of Luci. Of course they would once married, but until they moved in together she thought it best not to. Especially now. Since the accident, Luci was fragile; as much as Jake needed her, Olivia wasn’t sure if his being around would be helpful or prove more of a setback for her child. She couldn’t risk the latter.
“What do you think about Jake coming to stay with us?” she asked, as they sat outside on the bench with their ice cream. Luci was working her tongue around the circumference of her cone, trying to keep up with the pink river of melting ice cream coming d
own its side. Olivia took the cone and tilted it, to help.
Luci didn’t answer.
“It’s kind of like a slumber party,” Olivia explained. “But for longer.”
Luci looked at her over the top of her cone, curiously. Olivia tried to imagine what questions might be batting around in her head.
“We can practice living together, which we’re going to do when Jake and I get married. But there will be some things that take a little getting used to. Like having Jake’s stuff in our place. Or Jake eating the food from our fridge, or maybe using the potty when he needs to.”
Luci scrunched her nose. Any reference to “potty” always got her.
“We’re going to be sharing our house.” Olivia paused. “What I was wondering is if you’re sure you can share Mommy time?”
Luci turned her attention across the street to a family walking by. Had Olivia struck a chord of anxiety? Or had Luci’s mind already drifted to something else? Olivia was growing weary of guessing, of placing words in her daughter’s mouth. This was a time when she needed to know, really know, what Luci felt.
Finally, Luci looked at her and nodded.
“So, you’re okay with Jake coming to stay with us?”
When Luci placed her hand on Olivia’s heart, Olivia’s own skipped. It was the first time all week she was sure of anything Luci was trying to say.
“Okay, ma chérie. Let’s go get him and bring him home.”
* * *
Later, when the three of them pulled into the driveway, Ben was puttering outside the barn. Stalling, she thought to herself. His show was coming up, and one thing she’d learned was what a terrible procrastinator he became before a show.
He came around to the side of the car, a grim look on his face.
Jake’s seat was already set as far back as it would go to accommodate his cast. Ben came around to the passenger side and held the door ajar. “Looking good for a broken man,” he said, as Jake eased himself out of the car.
The View from Here Page 24