Panic rose, and Elizabeth pulled her arm back. “Chloe, maybe you haven’t heard? Logan’s back. You know he’s going to be sitting with his family. I can’t do this.” She shook her head and began to think of excuses to leave.
“Stop it,” Chloe hissed. “Everyone is watching us.”
Elizabeth scanned the crowd and realized she was going to be the talk of the town again if she didn’t get control of her emotions. She plastered another fake smile on her face, like she had been doing all week, and hugged her sister. “I’ve missed you. How did your interviews go?”
“Really good. I think I’ll be getting a few offers over the next week or so.” Chloe’s excitement was evident in the way she bounced on the balls of her feet. “We have to head to the ranch for supper today, so I can tell you all about it.”
Elizabeth’s twin had been out of town for ten days, with job interviews covering four different towns. She was glad her sister was back. She needed to talk to her about everything that had happened, and supper at the ranch would be the perfect time.
Fearing she would see Logan, Elizabeth sat at the far edge of the pew her family always commandeered at church. They took up almost two pews since the family was so large. The men in her family all were built for ranching, and with their broad shoulders they needed more space than the women did. So she had no problem hiding behind two of her larger brothers, Matthew and Mark.
Matthew smirked when he realized she was using his bulk to hide. He watched as she leaned forward and peered at the Hayes family, who sat across the aisle from the Manning family. When she had done it a third time, he decided to relieve her tension. “He’s not going to be here today.”
She frowned and looked up at her big brother. “What?”
“Logan. He had to stay home and watch his father this morning. The doctor still doesn’t want Mr. Hayes to get out of bed or be alone. So, until further notice, they’ll all take turns staying home to watch him.” Matthew mussed her ponytail and chuckled.
“I… I wasn’t looking for him.” Elizabeth winced when she realized she had just lied in church. She said a quick prayer, asking God to forgive her, and then opened up the bulletin and pretended to be interested in the latest church news and schedule for summer. Their annual fall festival was coming soon, and she wanted to see what she could do to help with the planning. Other than Christmas, it was the biggest celebration in town, and she loved to be part of it all.
Besides, she had zero desire to discuss Logan with anyone, especially her big brother. He and Logan had been friends during their childhood, and she feared Matthew would try to get her to speak with Logan. Never again did she wish to speak to the man who had torn her heart out and made it impossible for her to trust anyone outside of her family.
Once the service started, she put the bulletin away and gave her full attention to the pastor. Today’s message really hit home…hard.
It was about forgiveness.
The verse the pastor was reading enveloped her and caused her heart to stutter and then stop for a moment before picking up speed. She knew this was from God, and she needed to pay attention. She could almost hear her Lord telling her to listen to what he had for her today.
Mark 11:25 – And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Elizabeth thought about her argument with Max, and her fight with Bart and his gang, and realized she hadn’t forgiven any of them. But she also hadn’t spoken to Bart since their incident, as she preferred to call it. And she hoped never to see any of them again. However, she still needed to forgive Bart.
That was something she could do in her heart, even if Bart never knew.
While the pastor continued to share verses about forgiveness, she prayed. Elizabeth asked God to help her forgive those who had wronged her, like Bart and his gang, as well as Max. She was certain Max didn’t mean what he’d said, but no matter what, she forgave him.
She also forgave Big Bart.
Elizabeth knew there was nothing she could do to combat Bart; she wasn’t a law enforcement officer. All she could do was give the situation over to God and do her best to help the women on the street get the food and clothing they needed. She had even decided to begin witnessing to those she met.
No way was that one trip going to be it. Even her friends had expressed interest in going back. Harper had suggested they make up lunch sacks and hand out healthy meals to everyone they came into contact with.
Mia had suggested they find a church in the area to partner with so they could send the women somewhere for follow-up witnessing and help, where possible.
The woman Elizabeth met at the shelter that day seemed very nice and helpful. She would have to go back and talk to her and see if there was something that could be done to help more women get off the streets. Maybe her family’s ranch could even do something. She had no idea what a group of homeless women could do on the ranch, but she felt led to ask her father and brother what, if anything, they could do on the ranch to help.
She realized she’d missed a lot of the service and decided to get a copy of the sermon so she could hear the rest of what the pastor had said. With all the decisions she had come to just from the first few minutes of the service, she knew the rest had to be really good. She would also share it with Max.
When she walked out of the church, she felt like several bales of hay had been taken off her shoulders. Most of her stress seemed to dissipate as she continued to make plans in her mind.
She was so in her head that she didn’t see the person walking toward her, and instead of stopping, she walked right into her twin. “Oh, Chloe.” She chuckled. “Sorry about that. I guess my head was in the clouds.”
Chloe smirked. “Thinking about Logan?”
Small crinkle lines formed between Elizabeth’s eyes and along the center of her forehead. “Why would I be thinking of him?”
Now it was Chloe’s turn to be confused. “Well, duh. That sermon.” Her hand flew up, pointing to the church building. “It seemed to really hit you. I saw you praying during the service a few times. Did you finally decide to forgive Logan?”
Elizabeth shook her head. “I’m not sure what you heard, but I heard that I needed to forgive Max and some bully in Bozeman.” She never even considered needing to forgive Logan. Why would she?
She didn’t even want to think about him. Every time she did, her heart ached and then her anger rose. That sorry excuse for a man did not deserve to be forgiven. Not once did he even try to ask her for forgiveness. It had been ten years, and all she wanted to do was forget the man ever existed.
“Um, I know you, sis. You haven’t forgiven him for what he did to you. And it’s eating you alive. Even after all these years, you’re still torn up over it. Maybe if you forgive him, you’ll be able to move on and get rid of the pain you’ve gripped so tightly over the years.” Chloe knew her sister better than anyone. Even though they hadn’t spoken about Logan in years, she knew her sister still hurt and needed to release that pain.
To change the topic, Elizabeth asked what her sister was doing for lunch that day, forgetting that she had already discussed it before church started.
Chloe blinked a few times. “I’m going to the ranch. We have family supper every Sunday.”
Biting her lip, Elizabeth responded, “Oh, that’s right.” She shook her head. “I have to stop by the Miller farm really quick. I’ll meet you at the ranch.” She didn’t normally work on Sundays. She and Milton took turns being on call during the Sabbath, and it was Milton’s turn this week, but she needed to escape the knowing eyes of her sister, even if only for a few minutes.
Besides, the cattle needed checking in on at the Miller’s ranch. She and Milton were confident they had quarantined all affected cattle, but you couldn’t be too safe when it came to contagious respiratory diseases. There was only one day left of the quarantine, and she wanted to see how the calves were progressing
as well.
Chapter 8
Logan stopped short right before he ran smack dab into a very familiar face. “Chloe. I see you still have your head in your phone? How many people do you run into each day?” He chuckled.
“Well I’ll be. Elizabeth said you were back in town. Good to see you again.” Her smile was warm and just as sweet as he remembered, which surprised him. His meeting with Lizzie—or Elizabeth, as she now preferred to be called—didn’t go nearly so well. He thought for sure her twin would hate him.
“Nice to you see you.” Standing at least a head above the auburn-haired girl who looked so much like the love of his life, he had to do something to get his mind off the woman he couldn’t have. Even though the two girls were as different as night and day personality-wise, they still looked identical. Most people would have a difficult time telling them apart. But not Logan; he had always known the difference.
The woman in front of him didn’t stir his heart like her sister did. But she did act as a conduit for the memories he was currently trying to block out.
“What’s up? I thought you wanted out of this two-horse town, as you so fondly called it when we were all in high school.” He patted the top of her head like he had always done. Growing up he’d planned to make her his sister-in-law, so as far back as he could remember he had always treated her that way.
Chloe slapped his hand away from her head. “Stop that. We’re not kids anymore. And I am planning on leaving, just waiting for my new position to start.”
“Really? When?” He was surprised. Even though Chloe always talked about leaving Beacon Creek, he never thought she’d leave her large, loving family behind.
“End of summer. But don’t say anything—it’s not been announced yet.” She shrugged. Chloe never was very good at keeping secrets. Not that she went around blabbing, but if asked a direct question, she usually answered truthfully. Only when she was sworn to secrecy did she keep quiet.
Later that night when Logan sat down to dinner with his family, he had both Chloe and Elizabeth on his mind. He worried about Lizzie losing her sister. Well, maybe losing was a harsh term. But if Chloe did move away, he wondered how Liz… Elizabeth would handle it.
It was going to be tough remembering to call her Elizabeth. She’d been Lizzie to him for as long as he could remember.
“Logan, Earth to Logan. Are you here?” His sister, Leah, waved her hands in front of his face.
“Hm? Oh, sorry. I was woolgathering, I suppose. What did you ask?” Logan looked across the table at his kid sister, who wasn’t actually a kid anymore. When did she grow up so much? He really should have come home more often.
Leah was tall for a woman. She had to be pushing five feet nine inches, or very close to it. Her long brown hair had a silky shine to it he didn’t remember from when she was a kid. Her chocolate-brown eyes made her face appear soft and kind. Or maybe that was just all Leah herself. She was rather beautiful.
His eyes narrowed and his brows furrowed. “Are you dating anyone?” Completely ignoring his sister’s question, he turned the tables on her. It was high time he took up his big brother responsibilities and made sure his sister wasn’t seeing any scoundrel.
Her cheeks flushed, and she stammered out, “Uh, not really.” She took a bite of her chicken breast and tried to keep her mouth full so she wouldn’t have to answer her brother’s embarrassing questions.
Their mother laughed. It was the first time since Logan had returned home that he’d heard her laugh—really laugh.
Both brother and sister turned their gazes to their mother and waited for her to finish. Even though Logan was happy his mother was showing some signs of joy, he really wasn’t too keen on being the brunt of a joke he had no clue about.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that his sister looked just as clueless as he did.
“What’s so funny?” Logan asked.
His mother wiped the laugh tears from her eyes and looked at her only son. “You two. It’s as though you never left. You’re both acting just like you did ten years ago.” She smiled lovingly at her two children, sighed, and began eating her dinner again.
Leah looked at her brother with a question in her eyes.
He shrugged, and they both went back to eating dinner.
“Have you heard anything from Elizabeth since you saw her the other day?” Leah asked between bites of broccoli and chicken.
He shook his head. “I saw her down the street and was going to talk to her, but she crossed the road to get away from me. I didn’t want to chase her.”
“Well, I dare say after the last sermon she’s been thinking long and hard about forgiving you.” Leah smiled before going back to her favorite meal.
“What do you mean? What was the sermon about?” Logan’s brow furrowed, and he put his fork down on his plate and sat up straight.
“Well, you need to get the CD. It was about forgiveness. I looked over at Elizabeth during the sermon and noticed she was doing a lot of praying. I think God was speaking to her about the need to forgive you.” His sister beamed with a knowing smile. She had always wanted her brother to marry Elizabeth, and was almost as heartbroken as Lizzie was when Logan broke up with her.
In fact, the entire town was upset with Logan when he broke Elizabeth’s heart. Everyone had been planning on the two of them marrying since they first began dating.
“I doubt she’ll ever forgive me. If she hasn’t done so yet, she never will.” He hung his head and lost his appetite. Every time he thought about how much he’d hurt the only woman he would ever love, he wanted to strangle himself.
He had resigned himself to her pack of brothers coming and beating him up any time he came to town. Instead, they either gave him the cold shoulder or told him how stupid he was to let the best woman he’d ever meet get away. Logan knew they were right. He was stupid. Grade AA stupid.
His momma had stayed quiet during the conversation between her two children, but when she saw the despondence in Logan’s bearing, she knew she had to speak up. “Logan, I think you should get the CD. It might help you as well.”
“I don’t need to forgive her. Lizzie did nothing wrong. It was all me.”
“Exactly. You need to forgive yourself. You can’t keep wallowing in your guilt like a pig in the mud. You have to forgive yourself and move on. If that means without Elizabeth, then so be it. You need to leave your cares at God’s feet and let Him decide what’s best for the two of you.” The loving smile on Judith’s face warmed Logan’s heart.
She was right, of course. His mother always knew exactly what to say to her kids. And most of the time it included something wise from the Bible.
“You’re right, Momma. I think I’ll spend some time in prayer tonight. See what the Lord has to show me. And tomorrow I’ll stop by the church office and get a copy of the sermon.”
“That’s my boy.” His momma had never quite gotten the hint that her son was no longer a boy, but a man. However, Logan had learned not to correct his mother when she called him her boy. It was her way of displaying her love for her son, and it would upset her if he didn’t accept her display of affection. Even if it did rankle him.
Once the dishes were cleaned and put away, Logan went to check on his pops and then headed to his room for some quiet time with the Lord. After their discussion at dinner, Logan knew his family wouldn’t bother him that night. They were right: he needed to lay his cares at the feet of his Savior and let the Lord guide his actions.
“Dear Heavenly Father, I know you understand all. You know what I’m going through right now. I need to give my cares over to you. I still love Lizzie, and I think I always will. But she won’t forgive me. Not that I deserve her forgiveness, but I would like it. My heart aches for her friendship and love. If nothing else, can we be friends again? Can you help her to forgive me?” He wasn’t really sure what else to ask for, so he began reading his Bible. He looked up verses on forgiveness and spent the next hour reading and praying.
/> By the time he went to bed, he was exhausted from pouring out his emotions and cares to the Lord, but felt much lighter. Logan came to understand what it meant when pastors extolled the virtues of sharing one’s burdens with the Lord. Over the next few days, he was happier and lighter than he had been in years.
Even his mother and sister noticed the change in his countenance.
One day at the store, Leah came up to him during a lull in customers. “Hey, what’s gotten into you?”
Logan stopped restocking the shelf of dog food and turned around to look at his sister. “What do you mean?”
Leah’s hand flourished in the air. “I don’t know. You seem so different this week. Have you spoken with Elizabeth?”
The smile on Logan’s face dissipated, and longing filled his eyes. “No, she’s still ignoring me. But I’ve given my cares over to the Lord. Since there’s nothing I can do to make Lizzie forgive me, I had to lay this issue at the feet of my Lord and Savior. And you know what?”
“What?”
“I feel so much better. Better than I have since that fateful day over ten years ago. I made a huge mistake and never knew how to fix it. Well, that’s not true. All I had to do was talk to her before the summer started and we could have fixed things, but I didn’t do it. Even though I felt it was what I needed to do.” Logan picked up a can of Pedigree dog food and began restocking the shelf again.
“I prayed after we spoke earlier this week and I read a lot about forgiveness in the Bible. I even asked Dottie for a copy of the CD. This week I’ve learned that I can’t make Lizzie forgive me, but God can work on her heart if it’s His will for us to get back together, or even to be friends again.”
“Is that what you want? To get back together?” Leah practically whispered her question. She didn’t want to scare off Elizabeth, but she’d do anything to help her sister get back with the love of her life.
Even his parents wanted him to marry his high school sweetheart. They were both so disappointed when he told them what he had done. He knew they loved him, but their disappointment hurt him and was also what helped him to realize what a huge mistake he had made.
Second Chance Ranch Page 6