“I had a plan for my classes. I had already worked out with the biology department how I was going to get the classes I needed. There were only three that weren’t part of their regular curriculum, and one of the professors was going to offer those to me on a one-on-one basis. I had it all covered. If you would have spoken to me about your concerns, you would have known this.” She threw her hands in the air and blew out a huge breath.
“Wait, what?” He shook his head. “You were going to graduate with the degree you needed? What about vet school? The one near my graduate program didn’t specialize in large animals.” He knew because he had looked into it himself once he had decided on which colleges to attend for undergraduate and graduate school.
“Again, I had a plan.”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of these plans?” He thought back to their many phone calls and knew she hadn’t said anything detailed about her university plans. They just talked about attending the same undergraduate college, and then he chose a graduate program close enough to a veterinarian school that she could attend.
He came to realize while he was away that the choices he made were for his best interests, and not hers. Had he truly thought about it, he would have gone somewhere else. All he could think of back then was getting to California. Since he was a kid, he had wanted to live in California, near the beach. Which was why he chose the schools he did, and why he’d stayed in LA after he graduated.
“Because you never really seemed interested in my plans. You only wanted to talk about the university and how awesome it was.” She threw her hands up in the air again before taking a seat. She put her head in her hands. “I realize now that I should have tried harder to talk to you, but you should have never made such a huge decision for us without talking it over with me first.”
Logan knew he had screwed up. It was something he’d regretted every day for the past ten years.
“Lizzie, I’m so sorry. I was a stupid, punk kid. You’re right, my communication skills were horrible.” He strode to her side and knelt. “I regretted it the second I walked away from you.”
She looked into his eyes, and the pain he saw there stabbed him in the heart. He could tell she was working hard to keep from crying. Her eyes were moist, and if he wasn’t mistaken, there was a tear in the corner trying to make its way down her cheek.
He put a hand on her arm and whispered, “Ah, babe. Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I truly thought I was doing the best thing for you and your career. I never wanted to let you go. In fact, my hope that first year was that once we were all done with school, we would get back together again.”
“Why didn’t you call me, or come back when you realized you had made a mistake?”
He shook his head. “Honestly, I just didn’t know what to say at first. We had never fought or broken up, and I had no experience with this kind of thing. Then, when I saw you again, you ignored me. I did try to talk to you that summer, but you wouldn’t let me within ten feet of you.”
“You didn’t try very hard.” The accusation in her tone sent another stab to his heart.
His heart was breaking all over again. A hand went to his chest and massaged the phantom pain he felt. It didn’t do anything to help. “I saw your mother one day in town and I spoke with her.”
Her head shot up. ‘What? You spoke to my mom about me? She never told me.”
“I’m not surprised. She said that you needed time to heal. That I should wait until next summer, or maybe Christmas break. I listened to her. Each time we were both back in town and I tried to talk to you, you ignored me or ran away from me.” He stood back up and leaned against his desk again.
“My mom did try to get me to talk to you that first Christmas break, and then in the summer. But after that, she stopped trying. I told her that I was really happy in my new college and that it was a much better fit for me than California would have been.” The wry smile that crossed Elizabeth’s face told him that she didn’t think it was all that great.
“Were you really happy? I mean, in your new choice of college?” He did want to know. After all, one of the main reasons he broke up with her was so that she could attend a better university for her choice of training.
It was her turn to get up and pace. She walked around the small area between the door and his desk before she stopped behind the chair she had been sitting in and looked at him. She still had pain in her eyes, but no more tears threatened to spill.
She nodded. “On paper it was the right choice. But knowing what I know now, had you spoken to me about your concerns ten years ago, I would have chosen to stay with you. I would have married you and been very happy with living in California. There were several stables I could have worked at after graduating.”
He scratched his chin, thinking about what she’d said. “You really did your homework, didn’t you? And I never once asked you details about your plans.” He looked at the floor and put his thumbs through the belt loops of his jeans. “I was a stupid and selfish kid. I really do regret it all.”
He looked up at her and prayed she could see the sincerity in his eyes. “I loved you with everything I had, but I was stupid and thought I knew best. I know better now. If I had it to do all over again, I would never have broken up with you. I would have proposed instead.”
“And I would have said yes.” Her whispered words sent a chill through his body.
He’d really screwed up. But he wasn’t going to let this end. He would do everything he could to get her to forgive him and at the very least be his friend again.
He stepped toward her and took her hands in his. “Can you ever forgive me?”
When he looked at her eyes again, he noticed tears clinging to her lashes. He couldn’t help himself; he pulled her in and wrapped his arms tight around her and kissed the top of her head. “I’m so sorry, Lizzie.”
She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. Her face was buried in his chest and she let the tears flow. She couldn’t stop them even if she wanted to.
He ran his hand down her back and let her cry. Logan wasn’t sure if she had cried over him, but he did know that women needed to cry once in a while to let their emotions out and release the stress of holding them in. Or at least, that’s what his mother had said when his sister cried a lot as a teenager.
Seeing her cry into his shirt caused mixed feelings. On the one hand, it felt wonderful to have her in his arms again, even if she was crying. But on the other, it hurt him to know he had made her so sad. He never wanted to cause her pain. Not then, and certainly not now.
“What can I do to show you my sincerity?” He paused. “Is there any way you can ever forgive me?”
She nodded.
Chapter 23
Elizabeth couldn’t help but cry. It felt so good to finally hear him tell her why he had broken her heart all those years ago. It still made no sense, but one thing she had learned growing up with five brothers was that men never made any sense.
She was so stupid. If only she had let him talk to her that first summer, or even at Christmas, or any of the other times he’d tried. Looking back, she finally realized he did try. She was just too angry and hurt to give him a chance to explain. If only she had listened to God’s word and forgiven him sooner. They would have been married and probably had a couple kids by now.
At the very least, they would have had one.
She was stupid. They both were. Why didn’t she realize what needed to happen earlier? Even when she took a communications class in college, she should have known that they needed to talk.
It was her sin of not forgiving him that had kept them apart all this time.
Forgiveness was a choice a person made. There were all of these stages, like with grief, but all she had to do was choose to forgive him. She knew they couldn’t pick up where they’d left off, but maybe, just maybe they could be friends again. Over time, she knew she’d learn to trust him again.
She tried to stop her sob
bing and began to hiccup.
Her embarrassment only made her hiccup more, and she held on even tighter.
“Shh, it’s alright. Just let it all out. Do you want some water for those hiccups?” he whispered in her ear while he rubbed her back.
She relaxed into his body even more and eventually her tears dried up, but her hiccups didn’t.
Once she was ready to pull away, she looked into his eyes and almost began crying again. The tenderness and love she saw and felt coming from him was almost enough to break her heart, again. She tried to take a few deep breaths, but they were interrupted by her hiccups.
He pulled back. “I’ve got a mini-fridge with cold water.” Then he moved back to his desk and leaned down. When he stood up, he had a small bottle of water in his hand.
The condensation on the bottle dripped onto the papers covering his desk.
He walked back to her and opened the cap before handing it to her.
She reached out to take it. “Thank”—she was interrupted by more hiccups—“you.” Elizabeth sighed and took a deep breath, then held it as she drank the water.
After a few minutes of alternating between deep breathing and holding her breath, the hiccups finally abated.
“Thank you.” She gave him the empty water bottle and smiled tentatively at him.
He returned her smile. “Do you think… Is it too soon?”
She nodded. “Wait. You should know that I forgive you.” Elizabeth took a step back and clasped her hands in front of her. “Can you ever forgive me?”
He furrowed his brow. “For what? I’m the one who hurt you and was a complete dolt.”
She shook her head. “I should have listened to you when you tried talking to me all those times. And I should have forgiven you way back then. If I had, my anger wouldn’t have kept us apart all these years.” Her voice cracked.
If Elizabeth didn’t get ahold of her emotions, she was going to turn into a water works and flood his office.
“Hey.” He took her in his arms again. “It was all my fault. There’s nothing for me to forgive.”
When he rubbed her back, she sighed deeply and so many emotions flooded her that she began to cry again. Not like before, but tears still ran down her cheeks onto his shirt.
Logan put his hand on her head and ran his fingers down her hair lightly. It sent chills down Elizabeth’s spine, just like when they were younger.
She hoped it meant they were going to be friends again. It was too soon for her to think about anything other than friendship, even though her heart pounded so hard her eardrums beat the same tune.
“So, you really do forgive me?” he whispered hesitantly in her ear.
“Yes,” she squeaked. Elizabeth couldn’t get anything else out. Her voice just wouldn’t work. When she tried to clear it, she attempted to say more, but the door opened.
Leah walked in and her eyes bulged. “Oh! Please forgive me. I’m sorry to interrupt, but Chloe’s out front and she said it was important.” Leah winced and walked back out of the office, closing the door behind her.
Elizabeth pulled away from Logan and missed his warmth the moment she did so. “I better see what she wants.” She looked at the front of his shirt, then up into his eyes and winced. “And you might need to change your shirt.” She pointed at the wetness covering most of his chest.
He looked down and smiled. “Guess it’s a good think Leah stocked the store with decent shirts.”
A small smile crossed Elizabeth’s face as she turned and headed toward the front of the store.
The moment Elizabeth saw her sister, she knew something was wrong.
Chloe looked as though she had been crying. Her makeup was smeared, and she was pacing the length of the store.
Elizabeth ran to her. “What? Are Mom and Dad alright?”
Chloe nodded.
“What about the boys? Did one of them get injured? Please don’t tell me it was Roman.” Elizabeth put a hand to her mouth and worried that Roman had either fallen off his horse, or something worse.
Chloe shook her head. “No, the family’s fine. It’s Ana. She’s taken off.”
“What?” Elizabeth practically yelled. “When?”
“Sometime this morning. She left a note for Mom saying she needed to get back to Bart before he found her and hurt her.”
“It’s been several weeks. I would think he’s forgotten all about her by now, wouldn’t you?” Elizabeth joined her sister in pacing.
“Has anyone gone looking for her?” Logan asked when he stepped into view of the girls.
The twins turned their heads in unison and looked at Logan. Then Elizabeth looked to her sister for answers.
“Yes, my brothers have all gone out looking for her. But so far, no one has found her.” Chloe looked to Elizabeth. “Why haven’t you answered your phone? We’ve been trying to call you forever.”
Elizabeth felt her back pocket and realized she didn’t have it. “I’m sorry, Chloe. I think it’s in my office.”
“No matter. We need to go out and start looking. I don’t think she could have gotten far on foot, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone from town picked her up and took her back to Bozeman. We need to head there, now.”
“Right, I’ll drive. My truck is parked behind the office. Let’s go.” Elizabeth didn’t bother to say goodbye to Logan or Leah; she opened the door expecting Chloe to follow her.
When she got outside, she felt her sister at her back along with someone else. She knew that second presence.
After she stopped, Elizabeth turned around and faced Logan. “What are you doing?”
“I’m coming with you. If you’re heading back to Bozeman and Bart, I’m not letting you go alone.” He pulled his keys out of his front pocket. “I can drive, and you two can look along the road for her.”
“Thank you.” Elizabeth smiled and followed Logan to his truck with Chloe on their tail. At first she’d wanted to object, but then she thought better of it. It would be helpful to have Logan along. And as he’d said, he could drive while they looked, just in case Ana didn’t hitch a ride to Bozeman. Or if she was let out early.
For some strange reason, she was beginning to enjoy his company. She was grateful the anger had left and she could be around him without feeling so horrible. Maybe this was going to be the start of a new friendship.
No one spoke during the thirty-minute ride to Bozeman, except to ask Logan to slow down whenever they spotted what looked to be a person on the side of the road. Most of the lumps they saw from a distance turned out to be animals hanging out next to the fence along the highway.
One was a tree stump. Elizabeth wondered how her sister could have thought that was a person, but she didn’t voice her question. Instead, she kept her eyes on her side of the road and looked for Ana, praying as they went along that the girl would be safe.
When they didn’t find her along the way to Bozeman, all of them felt dejected and worried for Ana’s safety.
“I wish we would have found her along the side of the road. It would have made this so much easier,” Chloe said as she exited the car.
Elizabeth nodded and looked around. They had parked near the area where they’d picked up Ana originally, hoping she would have gone back to the same place.
“Do you think Bart’s found her yet?” Logan asked with a scowl on his face.
“Sadly, I do.” Elizabeth continued to scan the area, looking for anyone who might be familiar. There were still plenty of homeless on the street surrounding them.
Chloe frowned and put her hands on her hips. “Why hasn’t the sheriff done anything about all the people living here? Surely there’s something they can do to help them get home, or at least find shelter so they don’t have to stay on the streets.”
Elizabeth had wondered the same exact thing. Both she and Logan shook their heads. Neither seemed to know what to think. It broke her heart to think that the local sheriff wasn’t doing anything to help these people. She knew she was g
oing to have to do something. Her heart wouldn’t let her leave this alone.
But first she had to find Ana. She was worried about what Bart would do to the girl. Why Ana would want to willingly go back to him, she had no idea. It was the craziest thing ever. Ana had gotten out. She could have done anything she wanted if she’d only stayed away from Bart.
“Come on, let’s go this way.” Elizabeth took the lead and decided she was going to stick close to her sister and Logan.
After everything that had happened so far, she knew better than to walk these streets alone. Even though she was confident in her ability to take care of herself, she wasn’t stupid. If Bart and his gang wanted to hurt her, she wouldn’t be able to protect herself against all of them. If she were seriously hurt, or worse, she wouldn’t be able to help those living on the street. It was much more important to swallow her pride and realize she needed help than it was to act tough.
Elizabeth was no wilting flower, but she would play it smart.
A small crowd caught her attention.
“Look, over there.” She pointed across the street and down one block. There were at least a dozen people standing in a makeshift circle all looking down at the ground.
Logan picked up his pace and took the lead. “Stay close to me, but watch out.”
Elizabeth and Chloe both quickened their pace to stay close on his heels.
When the crowd parted, tears pricked her eyes and she couldn’t help but let out a cry of pain. She covered her mouth and willed her tears to not fall. Now was not the time to break down. She needed to be strong for them all.
“Who did this?” Logan’s commanding voice rang out over the small crowd.
A few of them turned their backs and walked away as quickly as they could, carrying or pulling their meager belongings with them. Only two stayed close by.
Elizabeth recognized one of them as part of Bart’s gang. She pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You did this, didn’t you?”
She kept her eyes on his smirking face until she heard a moan on the ground next to his boots.
Second Chance Ranch Page 18