Chapter Nine
Two days later
They met again at their loch in the secret of night. Staring at the stars above, they shared parts of themselves.
“My mother died when I was a young lad of five summers. Lung fever. My da raised me, which is why I have hard and rough edges about me. I didna have a woman around me to soften me some. Well, only for the brief time Lady Anne was with us.”
“How was she? Maddie’s mother?”
“Kind, despite her circumstances. It was odd, at first, having a woman who was not a servant, at our keep.”
“Yer father allowed her to roam freely?”
James laughed. “Aye. At first, he locked her in a room but she wouldna keep quiet. Made his head ache, he'd said.”
“She wasna scared of him?” Katie looked over at James, eyes lit in surprise.
“Yes, she was. On the way to the keep, she was as quiet and meager as a mouse. My father only speaks in one tone that could only be described as loud. Every time he would say something, she startled and sat straighter on the horse. The look on her face was fearful at first and then slowly reflected her annoyance. We had nearly arrived to the keep when she asked if he yelled everything he said. I remember my da looking at her with curious eyes, and answering yes, while he laughed at her disgruntled look.”
“Reminds me of Maddie. Ye look at her and believe she is the sweetest lady, but deep inside, she’s a clever lass who doesna let a slight go unnoticed.”
James laughed thinking of his sister.
“Aye. Anna caused such a raucous at the keep, she gave da regrets about her kidnapping. Still, throughout their interesting interactions, she was gentle with me. At first, I was reluctant to speak to her for she represented what was absent in my life and I hadna realized I cared until I met her.”
“A mother. That absence of a mother.”
“Aye. But Anne was warm and understood. Slowly, I became used to her. Before my da and I realized, she was nay longer a woman kidnapped, but a guest in our home.”
Katie smiled as she looked at a twinkling star.
“Sounds lovely.”
“It was. Especially for a young boy like me. In a short time, she became a mother figure. The only one I ever had.”
“Ye are so wonderful with me, ‘tis surprising ye didna have the influence of a lady in yer life.”
Their hands were joined again, fingers woven together. He brought her hand to his mouth.
“May I?”
“Yes.”
He kissed her hand and placed their joined hands on the ground between them again.
Katie remained staring up at the stars as her heart beat a wild rhythm in her chest.
“James…I…”
She stayed quiet for a few moments when he came up and leaned sideways on his arm, keeping their hands linked. His eyes found hers looking at him.
“What is it, lass? Ye can tell me anything.”
Her eyes were wide and luminous under the moonlight.
“I…would like to…” she looked away and then turned her gaze back to him. “Kiss ye.”
His eyes dipped to her lips and returned to her eyes.
“I would like to kiss ye, lass. Verra much.”
The smile that spread her lips seemed to release some apprehension.
“Would ye like to come to me, or would he like for me to go to ye?”
Her smile was shy. “I’d like for ye to come to me.”
He nodded and moved slowly towards her. Katie watched him near.
James moved slowly, not wanting to upset a quiet balance of curiosity and courage within her. Well he understood how brave she was to attempt this.
He hovered over her, only his torso over hers, and his bottom half remaining on her side.
“May I?”
She swallowed and nodded, her breath heavy.
James moved slowly down to her and touched her lips with his. Her lips were hesitant before moving with him. They shared a long kiss, and it grew surprisingly passionate. Katie’s unattached hand rose to the nape of his neck and her fingers dove into his hair.
James growled.
He brought her other hand, which had remained joined with his, up and over her head. James deepened the kiss, lost in her.
Her smell.
Her softness.
Her taste.
The little moans that she made.
And then he heard her struggle to breathe.
James moved back and opened his eyes. Tears raced down her cheeks and she began to sob, struggling to get her hand out of his hold.
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”
She kept repeating it to him, struggling to free herself. Horrified at himself, James moved backwards as if burned.
“Katie, lass…”
He was dumbstruck.
“I’m sorry.” She repeated it again and again.
Her sobs broke something within him. It may have been his heart or his soul, or perhaps it was both.
He wanted to touch her, hold her, but he didn’t know if it would make her feel worse.
He opened his arms wide, looking at her. Katie rushed towards him and he tightened his arms around her.
“There isna anything to apologize for, lass.”
He stroked her hair and her back, satisfied that she hadn’t rejected him. He was relieved that he hadn’t completely scared her and that she wasn’t reluctant to touch him.
“I thought I was better, that it would be alright. But when…”
He thought about her words and finished her sentence. He’d noticed a subtle change in her but he’d been lost in their kiss and hadn’t put much thought into the change at that time.
“When I raised our hands above yer head.”
She nodded into his chest. “Those memories. That feeling. They rose in me.”
Her voice broke. Katie’s breath was labored.
“I’m sorry I disappointed ye.”
She moved back and looked up at him.
His palm caressed her face. “Never, mo stòr. Ye could never disappoint me, lass. It is I who should apologize. I became lost in our kiss and I shouldna have been so forward. Every action between us will always be yer choice. Ye will always have a choice in what we do or willna do.”
She touched his lips with her fingers, her tears ceasing.
“Ye did nothing wrong, James. I am the problem. I am the broken one.”
His thumb rubbed her cheek, wiping a few tears that had not ventured further down. “Nay. Ye are nay broken, Katie. Ye are whole.”
He placed his forehead on hers.
“Look at me.”
When she cooperated, he pulled back a few inches.
“Even if ye were broken, lass, I would take yer fallen pieces and put them together. No matter what happens, mo stòr, I will never leave ye so long as ye want me near.”
She let out a moan as her hands flew to both of his cheeks. Her eyes remained looking into his, staring deeply into the man who wasn’t afraid to help her.
To help her mend the broken pieces of her.
“I am so verra fortunate, Sweet James. Ye have gifted me with the blessing of yer presence in my life.”
He took one of her hands and placed it over his heart.
“This organ in me lass, my heart, it beats for ye. I will bide my time no matter what circumstance, no matter for how long. Ye are worth every effort and every moment in waiting.”
She moved closer to him and kissed him. It was light and soft, but it was her initiation without first seeking permission.
Progress. Everything was about that little word.
“It may be too soon to have ye over me. Having my hand held above me was also an action that brought forth terrible feelings and memories.”
James nodded. “Then I shall nay hover over ye or place yer hands above yer head.”
She nodded. “Could we lay together again?”
He kissed her forehead. “Aye.”
Jam
es settled back and to his surprise, she rested her head on his chest and sighed. He kissed the top of her head.
“Comfortable lass?”
She nodded.
“Verra comfortable, Sweet James.”
A few moments later, in the silence of the night, she muttered words that caused his soul to rejoice.
“Ye feel like home.”
Taken aback, it took him a few moments to say, “Aye lass, and for me, ye are my home.”
Chapter Ten
A week later
James hadn’t shown in several days, which may have been a blessing considering what had transpired.
James and Douglas were expected any moment, however. Maddie was in the midst of having her baby.
While Katie set her eyes on Maddie as she saw her struggle to bring a precious life into this world, her thoughts were focused on the oddity of her week.
Every night, Katie had gone to their loch, and she'd returned disappointed when James hadn’t appeared. She'd taken those moments of solitude each evening to think about her father.
And his unjustified actions as of late.
He’d told Katie that he didn’t want her leaving the safety of the keep. He was also encouraging her to develop relations with Alpin, the son of her father’s old second-in-command, Gilroy. Sure, he was handsome enough but he was no James. On quite a few occasions, Alpin was a bit too forward. It left Katie in an awkward position, and unfortunately brought forth memories from her assault that she wanted to forget.
And Alpin didn’t understand how she could not simply “move on.”
No, he was definitely no James.
Her father had been behaving strangely lately. It was apparent Connor hadn’t any idea what was wrong either, but she believed her other brothers did.
Two days earlier, Katie had walked into an argument between her father and brothers.
“Something doesna sound true to my ears, Father. He wouldna have pursued her had there-”
“Katie, d’ye need anything?”
She looked at her father and said, “Nay. I’m wondering, however, what is the matter here?”
“Nothing to worry yerself over.”
She bristled at the dismissive attitude. Her eyebrows rose. “I disagree.”
Her brothers looked at her and to one another, surprise registering.
Aye, and she knew why. Her old self was presenting itself more and more these days, replacing the lost woman she had been before Maddie and James came to them.
“Lass-”
“Doona ye lass me, Father.”
Miriam ran down the stairs and Connor looked up. His face reflected worry.
“What is it, Mother?”
She hurried to Connor. “Maddie. The bairn is coming.”
Connor ran upstairs, leaving his family looking at one another.
“Send someone for James and Douglas.”
Malcolm looked at her after she spoke those words.
“I will because we agreed that we would.” He raised a finger at her. “But ye will nay see him.”
Her mouth gaped open. She was taken aback by his words.
“Why? Has something occurred? Are we nay allied with them? They are Maddie’s family!”
Shock made her give voice to every thought in rapid sequence. She was stunned.
“Ye willna because I say so.”
Her eyes bulged in response to her father’s unusual display of anger and illogical, arbitrary orders.
“I misheard ye, Father. My ears seem to have told my mind that ye are forbidding me from seeing James.”
Iain and Kiel stood back. Miriam stepped forward growing angrier by the moment.
“What is the reason behind this, Malcolm?”
Malcolm released a growl. “It seems that there is some confusion amongst us in this family. That in the process of my allowing Connor to succeed me, that my bollocks have been cut off, and my status as head of the family is no longer true.”
Miriam inhaled sharply, bringing her hand to her mouth. “Malcolm!”
Katie placed her hands on her waist. “If ye believe for one small moment that yer crude words would cause me to balk and walk away, then ye honestly doona know that yer daughter was indeed born with bullocks and breasts!”
Miriam’s horrified eyes settled on Katie. “Lord above Katherynne Eleanor Ramsay!”
“Ye gain such descriptive language, Mother, when ye have three older brothers.”
Maddie’s scream carried downstairs, making them all look above.
“That poor lass, having to birth Connor’s gigantic spawn.”
Miriam slapped her hand across Kiel’s stomach and moved to the stairs, when she looked back.
“I doona know what is amiss here, but I will say this only once. This is a special moment for our family. Our first grandchild is arriving, Malcolm. Yer first niece or nephew is coming into this world, Katie, Iain, and Kiel. Ye’d all do well to remember this and nay be selfish and keep yer heads up yer arses!”
It was their turn to be shocked into silence. With one last look at them, Miriam ascended the stairs.
Maddie’s screams drew her back to the room. Connor had forced his way in, yelling that no one would keep him away from Maddie.
“The bairn’s crowning!”
Katie thought her brother looked green. She’d laugh at her overprotective brother if she hadn’t been marginally worried about his odd coloring.
Moments later, the healthy cries of a baby girl filled the air. She was adorable with cherubic cheeks. She was plump, and that explained Maddie’s large belly.
The women busily cleaned Maddie and the baby, and left the new family alone to enjoy their time together.
Katie returned to her room to nap. She’d been worried about Maddie, truthfully. She was petite and her belly had been large.
She woke at sunset, and wondered when James and his father would arrive. Katie refreshed herself and briefly considered whether she should go to the loch but thought it best not to. James would want to see his sister and niece, not stargaze with her as had become their habit.
As Katie left her chamber, she heard shouting in the great room downstairs. Rushing to the stairs, she descended to find her father arguing with James and his father. Connor stood by and from all appearances, he was angry.
“Ye dare attempt to court my daughter when ye’re promised to another!”
Her father’s face was as red as a bloody battlefield. He wasn’t supposed to get this angry. It caused his heart to skip beats and then he’d complain that he felt weight on his chest.
Katie flew down the stairs and stood in the midst of the firestorm.
“What is transpiring here?”
She looked at everyone but her eyes landed on James, who looked just as angry as her father and brothers.
“Lass, ‘tis best that ye let us discuss this without ye here.”
She snorted and crossed her arms. “Nay likely, Connor.”
She saw a ghost of a smile on James’ face.
“Someone had best tell me why voices were raised and why ye’re looking more like enemies instead of allies.”
“Sufficient to say, Katie, ye are nay to spend even a moment more with James.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Father, I am old enough, and have certainly been through enough horror in my life so that I may live it as freely as I choose.”
“Allow me to explain, Malcolm.”
The stare levied at James by her father would freeze water.
“I doona see how ye can explain it any other way than ye are courting my daughter while ye have a promise of marriage to another woman.”
Katie didn’t know what she was expecting but it hadn’t been that. She stumbled backwards as she looked from her father to James. Her hand rose to her heart willing it to beat again. Her blood moved quickly to her head, and abandoned it just as rapidly, making her feel lightheaded.
Calming herself, she took a moment to watch James, who looked angrier than s
he’d ever seen him.
There was no guilt in his gaze.
There was no shame.
She saw anger instead, but she didn’t believe it was because this secret was discovered.
“Lass, are ye well?”
His voice was like a calming balm over her wounds.
She nodded her head, swallowed, and asked, “What is my father speaking of?”
“I’ll explain.”
Her father walked over to her and handed her a parchment. James looked at his father, cheeks red and angry.
Katie took the parchment and looked at James’s crossed arms before reading it. Her eyebrows furled and she looked up at him when she finished.
“It isna valid, lass.”
“Then why is it that the Kerrs appeared here boasting about this arranged marriage with a parchment signed by Douglas Menzies?” Malcolm said.
“It was rescinded decades ago, and we swore to burn it. I suppose that they didna see fit to do that.” Douglas' explanations were not calming Malcolm.
“I doona care.”
Katie’s voice was soft but firm, interrupting them. They looked at her after she uttered her words.
“I believe James. There is something amiss, but it was nay by his or Douglas’ doing.”
She turned from her father to James.
“I believe ye.”
“Lass…” James stopped speaking.
She shook her head and smiled, turning to her father.
“If they say it isna true, Father, I believe them.”
Katie stared at them before adding, “If ye’ll excuse me.” She walked outside leaving them staring at her and then at one another.
Something in her calm demeanor or look in her eyes pierced through Malcolm’s anger. He looked at Douglas and James, both red-faced and furious but it was not the type of anger that should accompany the situation as he believed it.
“Ye’re both angry, but ‘tis nay because of the revealing of the pact.”
Douglas nodded his head. “Aye. Ye’re correct.”
Malcolm sat down looking at Douglas. “Then sit with me and explain. Maddie is sleeping and ye have a span of time before ye can see her.”
Douglas sat down and nodded at James. They discussed the pact they’d entered into.
The Highlander Who Loved Me (Heart of a Highlander Collection Book 4) Page 6