“So this is the dashboard,” Sam pointed out, tapping on the surface in front of him. “Do you know what a kilometer is?”
This drew out a simpering look from Blue that seemed to say to him, “Please, I’m not an idiot.”
Sam laughed aloud at her adorable face and had to temporarily glue his hand to the dash so that it did not jump off and stroke her cheek. “Good. This is the odometer. It tells you how fast you’re going. There are speed limit signs on the side of the road. You can’t go above those limits.” He backtracked. “Well, you can. I mean, they’re more like suggestions to drivers like me. But if the cops see you speeding, they can pull you over.” Blue’s eyes widened at the idea of the police pulling them over. Sam tried his best to cover over his indiscretion. “Hey, don’t worry. I’m a good driver.” He waited until the panic died off her features. “Does the smoke bother you?” He blew a mouthful out of the open window. Sam grimaced. He’d never cared to ask permission or preference concerning his favorite escape.
“Can you smoke and keep telling me about the car?” She saw a true grin erupt on his face as he nodded, and she smiled in return. “Continue.”
Continue he did until there was nothing more in the interior for him to explain. He kept waiting for the glazed look of too much information at once to settle in, but it never came. He was explaining how the gear shift and the clutch worked when Alec came up and let himself into the back after depositing a shovel and garbage bag into the trunk.
Sam waxed poetic about manual transmissions and how there used to be cars made that were automatics and required no shifting from gear to gear. However, with the terrain in many areas still torn up from World War Three, it wasn’t realistic to continue making cars without the extra push to them.
“Did I go too fast?” Sam questioned as he turned the key in the ignition.
“No.” At her next words, she retreated behind her hair again and looked forward at the dashboard. “You were p-perfect. Thank you.”
He grinned at her slight stutter. Suddenly, an idea occurred to him. “Do you want to try shifting?” This earned another direct hit from her blue eyes. It never ceased to quicken his breath. “I mean, I’ll help you.”
“Really?” she asked with a rare flash of girlish intrigue. Her silly grin leapt off her face and pulled his back to the surface.
Alec remained quiet and patient in the back seat, glad that, at the very least, Sam had started the car.
“Sure.” Sam reached over the console that separated them and lifted her hand, enjoying the thrill of such simple contact. Hand holding had never been something he’d invested in. In fact, for the most part, he batted away any attempts from a Femreaux to claim him in such a possessive, nonsexual way.
Things with Blue were different. Her skin was slightly chilled from the early hour and her knuckles were brittle from hard labor, but her palm felt soft, like how he imagined her lips would. He made the most of the brief touch and stroked the inside of her hand before placing it on the gear shift. Reminding her again where each gear was, he earned a second “Please, I’m not an idiot. I heard you the first time, and it’s written right on the panel” look that made him chuckle.
“When I tell you, push the button in on the side and move the gear up to the one I tell you to. It’ll always go in order. I can’t jump around from first to say, fourth. Just so you know.”
His foot pushed down on the clutch and he realized that this was the most power he’d ever given away, and she hadn’t even asked him to. “Are you ready?”
After she buckled her seatbelt, Blue nodded. Her focus was completely on the gear shifter. Her heart jumped into her throat when Sam’s hand rested on hers to guide it. She could see faint traces of scars he’d not had removed before bathing in the Fountain of Youth, and wondered how he’d acquired so many.
“Okay, first.” The stick was slower to move than she anticipated, but after she felt the resistance, she adjusted her thrust accordingly. Sam did not move it for her, but still kept his hand on hers. It felt odd to have that kind of support. Usually on her new ventures, Baird sent her off with sometimes cryptic instructions and forced her to sink or swim. Not a fan of sinking, she learned to pay close attention to everything so she would not fail. Having Sam’s hand on hers as a backup just in case she needed it allowed her to relax, despite this very new lesson being taught her on the open road.
Blue’s fingers remained on the stick the entire car ride, moving it where Sam beckoned, and only when he told her to. When he was sure she had the hang of it, and they reached a steady speed that allotted for little shifting, his hand drifted up from the back of hers, feeling the skin there as if he’d never felt the slope of a woman’s wrist before. In a soothing motion, his fingers began to slowly brush up and down the back of her hand and arm.
Though she wanted to give the stick her full attention, her eyes drifted shut on more than one occasion as his gentle touch lulled her imagination to places it certainly had never gone before.
Heated tingles shot up her arm and ricocheted through her body at each pass of his fingers, immediately followed by warmth that was completely other. She had to remind herself to give him directions to the cross streets where the pimp worked, nearly failing to inform him of their last turn as she shuddered when his hands trailed to the sensitive underside of her wrist.
Her words jumbled and came out all wrong, but somehow he understood that she wanted him to turn the corner and park on the next street down to avoid their car being anywhere near the scene of the crime. By the time he instructed her to shift the car into park, her resolve was a complete pile of mush. “How did you do that?” Blue stared at her wrist. Her skin was practically humming from his touch.
“Do what?”
“That’s the first time I haven’t felt like throwing up in a car.”
Sam sized up her smile with a crooked one of his own. “Guess I’m just good for you.”
“Are you ready?” Alec asked her as he flung open the car door, reminding them both of his presence and reality.
Blue swallowed and nodded as she pulled her hand reluctantly from Sam’s. His face fell at the loss of contact. “I can’t think when you do that,” she informed him. Her words made his expression lift into a cocky smirk.
She glanced down the alley through the thin layer of fog that gathered in the early hour, and for a second, hoped that the man wouldn’t be there. She frowned when her keen eyes found him leaning against the brick wall of the university. “Oh, no.”
“What?” Alec’s vision followed to where she was looking.
“It’s the university. I just…I wish Baird would’ve told me. I had a friend who works there. Doesn’t feel right.”
“Best do it quick, then,” Alec advised, motioning that they should cross the streets further down to maintain the element of surprise.
“Is it cheating if I kill him first and then take his eyes and hand?” Blue tried to scrub the sweetness out of her wrist that Sam had rubbed into it over the course of the drive.
“I’d prefer you took Baird’s trophies after the fact. I’d also prefer you not make any large blood splatters on the concrete. It’s easier to wash away on the grass.”
She arched an eyebrow. “How do you know that?”
Alec eyed her as he sized up her loyalty. “I wasn’t always a bodyguard, Blue.”
Blue nodded as she pictured how much blood would come when she removed his hand.
Sam shook his head in disgust. “You don’t have to do this,” he offered. “I’ve got my knife and Alec’s always got his on him, too.”
“Yes, she does. Baird was right. If she can’t keep her head while killing, she can’t be trusted on the battlefield, and probably not with Liam, either.”
“Shut it, Alec. She’s a girl. At least give her the option.”
“You heard my brother. I’m not a girl. I’m the stupid Light. I don’t have any options, Sam. This is who I am. It’s already decided for me.” Even the coo h
is heart felt at her saying his name did not settle him. He had an argument waiting, but she beat him by turning away. “You two stay here. I’ll be back.” After a few steps toward the empty moonlit street, she could hear two sets of shoes behind her. Without looking at them, she called over her shoulder with just enough volume to carry to them and trail no farther. “I can sneak up on him, but I don’t know how good you two are at it. Just give me a little space so nothing gets messed up.”
“We’ll be fine, Blue.”
“My assignment. My call. Fancy shoes like you’re wearing make too much noise. Now stay back and let me do this.” When they did not back off, she whirled around to face them, all pretense of timidity gone. “Look, I’ve mostly got the blackouts under control, but if something were to go wrong, I don’t want to hurt you. Baird was right; I need to pass this test.”
Both men were offended at the insinuation that they could ever mess up on something so basic, but they obeyed. They remained several meters behind her with the shovel Alec had stolen from the hotel.
Despite her resistance to the task, Blue was relieved to find the dirty man in front of the college, propped up against the brick of the building away from any windows. She didn’t know where else he would have been otherwise, and Baird would have counted that as failing. The very idea of failure made her heart beat erratically. She could feel her brother with every cautious step that she took. She could practically hear him whispering for her to sneak, but it was of little necessity.
“I’m trying,” the man complained into his phone. “Nah, all six girls are entertaining right now. Should be back by the hour mark.”
Blue decided to wait for his call to end. Her window was small, but it would be made even tinier if the caller was cut off prematurely.
If there was a protocol for humanely killing someone, Blue did not know it. Her fingers twitched several times as she worked up the nerve to reach out and end his life. Each time she felt ready for the kill, the threat of the black coming back nearly choked her.
Finally, Blue closed her eyes and thought of Grettel. Sweet, innocent Grettel with this man’s hand on her scared, tear-stained face. In a matter of days, Blue would be on another continent, leaving Grettel exposed to his evil desires.
Her hands steadied. She did not need to lose herself to end him; she would be there for every second of it to ensure that Grettel would be safe. Her blue eyes held their vision. She fended off the darkness that begged her to sink into it. There was enough black to the situation already.
“Fine. Leeza can replace her… No. I’m working on it. The girls want their cut up front this time, though. It’s time for some fresh talent… Yeah, fine.” He hung up the phone and pulled out a flask from his old leather jacket.
There would be no hesitation to speak of, no prolonged moment of indecision to report back to her brother. Silent as the night itself, Blue ran through the grass, out of the shadows, leaped onto his back, and did not falter as she twisted his neck with more force than necessary for the job. She heard and felt his neck snap beneath her capable fingers as the momentum forced them to the ground. The nameless man’s only course of action was to open his eyes and mouth as his final breath exhaled onto her shoulder in a sigh that sounded mistakenly like contentment. His last moment came and went with all the gusto of a spinning toy top before it gave up its fight to stand erect. Like snow falling. Like every other death she’d caused, only this time, she was wholly there for it.
His chin jutted out in an unnatural angle, making his surprised and soulless eyes lock with hers, whether by coincidence or by choice, she was not sure.
The last glimpse of his life hit hard in Blue’s gut and sunk like a rock through the ocean of her self-loathing. She could scarcely believe the hands that she saw were actually attached to her body. Unfathomable though it was, she was the bringer of doom, despite the rationale Baird would no doubt feed her wounded soul later.
In that moment, there was no Light, and no dark. Just death.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Witness to a Moment of Weakness
“If you use that butter knife, you’ll probably end up accidentally piercing the eyeball and squishing it. I’m sure Baird wants his prize in one recognizable piece.” Alec instructed her which nerves she was cutting through with his knife. In the cover of darkness, she allowed a grimace when she felt the eyeball pop out of the socket with a sickening slosh as it rolled into her grocery bag.
Sam drew no masculine merriment from this, and his weighty expression was not veiled. He left his cigarettes in the car, so as not to attract attention to the wooded area behind the university they’d dragged the body to. He desperately wished for a smoke to relieve the tension.
“What?” Alec turned to his friend. “You’ve seen and done worse. You’re acting like this is all new to you.”
“I’ve done my duty by the free world, but I’ve never had the displeasure of plucking out a person’s eyeball,” he pointed out.
“Well, you’ve killed a fair few protecting the throne,” Alec pointed out. “Baird’s right. You can’t think of her like a normal girl, Sam.”
Blood began to boil beneath Sam’s controlled outward appearance. He noticed Blue’s stiff shoulders and guessed that she hated these comments every bit as much as he did. “How about she pulls out your eyes next?” he suggested gravely. “Then maybe I can use them to show you that, in fact, she is a girl. And this is wrong.”
“Wrong?” Alec guffawed. “When did that become a judgment instead of a challenge to you?”
Blue made quick work of the second eye, and eventually Sam could no longer deny the boyish fascination that made him watch her swift and clean movements.
Alec then explained to her in the pleasant tone of mere instruction the usefulness of a makeshift tourniquet when doing dark deeds as they were. He shook his head when she handed his sharp knife back to him. “No, you’ll need that to saw through the bone in his hand.”
“Maybe you do,” she muttered. Alec and Sam watched with morbid interest as she picked up the victim’s wrist and crushed the hard bones beneath the butts of her palms with what looked like a calm, meditative pose. “Now I’ll take the knife.”
“Did you just… Did you just crush the bones in his wrist?” Alec asked, astonished.
“Of course. How else am I supposed to do it? Easier this way.” Blue held up the deflated and floppy arm and jiggled it for his benefit. Her eyes were focused and her motions precise as she sawed through the contorted skin. She refused to lose herself now that the end was so near. The veins and stubborn sinew were reluctant to give up Baird’s trophy, but conceded defeat when she yanked the hand free of its death grip, making sure that the blood splattered away from the men.
“Tourniquet’s got to be tighter than that next time,” Alec instructed, shaking his head. “Do you need some help, kid? I don’t think Baird would mind if we dug the grave. Give you a break.”
“I don’t need anything,” Blue spat out a little too forcefully. “And I’m not your kid or anybody else’s.” Wiping the sweat from her forehead, she unceremoniously tossed the appendage into the grocery bag. “Didn’t get to be a kid. Too busy training for this kinda thing.”
Sam made good use of the shovel as he began to dig what would be an unmarked grave by morning. He was glad that he had opted for black pants and a button down shirt instead of the suit he’d worn when greeting the Emperor of the Americas.
Blue held out her hand to take over for him since this was her task, but he refused on principle. He would not be the only one who did nothing other than drive the getaway vehicle. This was her moment, and he wanted to be a part of however she decided to feel about it after it was over.
To ensure that it was deep enough, Sam dug uninterrupted for thirty minutes. When it was three meters deep, he motioned for Alec to roll the garbage bag-wrapped body down into it. Blue was faster, though, and she pushed the body in with eyes that were devoid of the spark he’d been drawn to.
In that moment, Sam began to hate Baird.
Blue held out her hand for the shovel after Alec dumped in most of the man’s personal affects, but Sam refused. “I should do it,” she insisted.
“I’m not arguing with you over this,” he said as if they bantered like this all the time. “You did the kill, we’ll do the cleanup. Cleaning up won’t teach you a thing you’ll need to know when you’re up against the predator. They’ll want his ugly head on a pole and a big parade when he dies.” He grunted when he hefted in a particularly stubborn clod of dirt and rock. “With twinkly lights and the token baton twirler. Everyone’ll love it. They’ll eat cotton candy and throw confetti in the air in your honor.”
“Do you want me to take the shovel from you, or are you gonna give it to me?” she asked threateningly. “I have to finish the job. I…this is my friend’s school. People actually learn things here and study and get degrees. It’s not right that I ruined his university like this.” She sighed. So desperately had she wanted to attend there and learn everything they had to teach her, but now her mere presence besmirched its higher purpose. She felt the need to rid her inbred savagery from the institution to somehow make recompense. “Even if it’s not important to you, it is to me. I made the mess. I should clean it up. Baird would say the same thing.”
This was clearly the wrong thing to say, but Sam barely got out, “I don’t give a…” before she jerked the shovel from his tired hands with more force than he anticipated. Her small frame always threw him when she did things with more strength than her slight physique seemed to allot for.
Alec bit back a snide comment at Sam being robbed so easily.
“Alright, you pushy woman. Just save the grass patches for last. Those should be put back in place by hand, not with the shovel so it doesn’t look so obvious that there’s a dead body under it.”
She worked quickly, her muscles not tiring as a normal Wayward’s or even a strong Vemreaux’s would. After she handed the shovel back to Sam so that she could kneel down and replace the sod, she eyed the rest of the dirt that did not fit due to the displaced volume of the man’s body beneath her. “Spread it out over the bloody patches so the dirt’s not all in one place,” Alec instructed calmly, as if he was telling her how to turn on a washing machine. After he observed her handiwork, he gave his approval. “It’ll do.”
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