by Nelson, Cara
The DJ was playing a remix of Ibiza, which was pretty cool, and we went out to the dance floor and started to move around. Drawing attention from guys around us wasn’t particularly a problem for Brynn, Jessie, and me when we were out, and this night proved to be no different.
Some guy, who I’d call an oily beau-hunk—tributes to 16 Candles—a classic favorite of mine, came up behind me and started to grind up against me. I couldn’t help but giggle; he didn’t fit into the club scene at all, and we just ignored him until he got the hint.
Afterward, three really good looking guys segued in, and we had fun dancing. I noticed that Brynn looked a bit reluctant. Hmm… Was it because she was in a relationship with Gauge? If that meant that you couldn’t dance with others, I’d take a pass on relationships. Really, who cared? Dancing was expressive, and fun. If relationships were as fun as dancing, I’d be more open to it. It was fun with Hunter, I thought. “Let’s do shots!” I yelled.
“I’ll go get them,” Jessie said. “You keep dancing.”
“Sounds good,” I replied. No complaints about that.
“This is so great. I love having us all together again,” I shouted out.
Brynn said yes, but I couldn’t hear it because the bass on the music went up crazy loud at that exact moment.
We just kept dancing and the one guy wrapped his arm around my waist and began to gyrate away, moving his pelvis with an Elvis type swag that was pretty damn hot. Again, I couldn’t help but notice that Brynn was acting a bit peculiar. She was looking around, maybe for Jessie? No clue. She hadn’t been gone that long.
I was starting to feel paranoid, and I could usually rely on those instincts to be accurate. Now I was looking around, too, and one floor up, near the railing, I saw Jessie talking to someone. It was Simon. Alert!
“Is that Simon?” I asked Brynn. I leaned in so she could hear me, and then I pointed to the place where I’d seen her.
“I’m not certain. Maybe we should go check it out,” Brynn said. “Say hi.”
“Did you know he’d be here?” I challenged.
She didn’t answer my question. Instead she said, “I wonder why Simon would be here. Weird, huh?”
“Yeah, weird,” I mocked, rolling my eyes, remembering all those uneasy looks Jessie had been throwing around. Suddenly my wild party mood had been replaced with curiosity, a smidgeon of annoyance, and a stomach that was doing nervous flips.
Brynn and I navigated up one floor and walked over to the direction of where Jessie was. It was definitely Simon, too. Feeling anxious, I looked around and was relieved that Hunter wasn’t anywhere. Please, may he not be there. I wasn’t particularly the praying kind, but I’d owe the universe one if it granted my wishes at that moment.
“Hey Simon, imagine seeing you here,” I said, smiling and leaning in to give him a brief hug.
“Imagine that,” he said.
“Who are you here with?” I asked.
“I’m standing here, talking to Jessie,” he said to me. His voice was kind of telling me not to challenge him, and I really wanted to, but what was the point? I was being weird, and paranoid. Simon could be anywhere he damn well pleased. “Could you give us a minute, Trinity. I was just in the middle of telling Jessie something private?”
“Uh, sure,” I said.
Brynn took my arm. “Let’s go over here, Trin,” Brynn had to practically yell just to be heard.
We walked over toward an open door.
“It’s quieter over here,” Brynn said. “So we can talk.”
She walked into the room and I followed her, only at the last second, she dodged out, closing the door with her, and leaving me in the room.
“What the…” I said, feeling instantly pissed off.
“Hey,” someone said. I whipped my head to the side. Hunter!
“What the fuck is going on?” I asked.
“Well, I had to get creative in finding a way to get you to talk to me, Trin.”
“This is bullshit. Were Jessie and Brynn in on this?”
“They assisted me, but don’t be mad at them. I was very persuasive,” Hunter said to me.
“Why? Why would you do that, and why can’t you just leave me alone? Your big, fat ego must not be able to handle someone not fawning over you, and wanting you,” I spat. I folded my arms and felt so mad. I wanted to kick something, but there was nothing for me to kick aside from Hunter, and I wasn’t about to kick him—yet, anyway!
“Can we just get real for a bit?” Hunter said, taking my arm, trying to pull me over to the couch that lined the wall, a coffee table in front of it, lit with candles and set with two cocktail glasses. What the hell was going on? “I just want to have a conversation with you, one with a few honest answers. The sooner we have it, the sooner you can go,” Hunter said.
“Well, I can go now, and in fact, I’m going to,” I replied. I jerked at the door knob and tried to open the door, but Hunter was too fast. He slapped his hands against the door, slamming it shut, caging me. I was trapped, and I don’t know if it scared me more to imagine having a “real” conversation, as Hunter put it, or to acknowledge how close I was to breaking down and having sex with him right there on that couch. The Playhouse. Hmph…aptly named.
Chapter Fourteen:
Trapped and Wounded
I was staring at Trinity, and I’ll admit, I actually felt a bit scared. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Cornering a free spirit like her was not so different than trapping an animal and wounding it. It became dangerous, and unpredictable. I don’t know why I had to know what was going on with her, but I just did. I opened up my mouth to talk, and no words came out.
“Great. You’ve locked me in here just to watch you with your mouth open,” Trin said to me with a venomous voice.
“You’re just so damn beautiful,” I said. That was not what I’d planned on saying, but that was what came out of my mouth. There was no smooth operator in me when it came to Trinity, she tripped me up so bad.
“You could have texted me that, Hunter. Look, I don’t know what’s going on, or why you are so determined to talk about things. We had sex. It was great. That’s it.”
I leaned toward her. Damn I wanted to kiss her. But the instant my hands were on her shoulders, her entire body stiffened. I grabbed her hand instead and guided her over to the couch. She didn’t resist. It was progress, I guess. She sat, pressed up against the armrest, looking like she might bolt any second. I sat down as close as I dared, which was not that close. My heart felt like it might burst right through my chest. I couldn’t recall ever being so nervous about something before. Too late to turn back, I thought.
“I’m just trying to understand what’s going on,” I said, trying to be calm. “We were having so much fun, a really great time, I thought, and then you just shut me out. Why would you do that?”
“Good times don’t last forever,” she said.
“Maybe, hell if I really know,” I replied. “I didn’t think ours were ready to end so soon, or so abruptly. Just tell me why. I can handle whatever you have to say. I just want to know, and all this dishonestly and poor excuses isn’t going to cut it. You’re better than that, Trin.”
“I wasn’t aware that I gave you an opportunity to know what I am better than or not better than, or anything else really significant for that matter,” she said to me. She was going to make this hard. Maybe if I lightened the mood somehow.
“You talk in your sleep,” I said.
Trinity stared at me, and I could see her trying to assess if I was serious or not. She playfully spat back. “Hopefully I didn’t hurt your feelings when I told you to F off.”
“Nope, because every time you said it, it was followed by you having sex with me. It was pretty hot, actually.”
“In my sleep?” she said to me, raising her eyebrows and trying not to laugh at what I said.
“Yeah, you’re a freaky chick.”
“Apparently you like that,” she said.
“I sure
do. I like it quite a bit,” I said.
“You are so trippy,” Trinity said.
“It’s fun tripping you up,” I replied. My knee brushed against hers, and I wanted her so badly. Why not try? I certainly had nothing to lose.
“Glad to amuse you. Is that keeping it real?”
I didn’t answer Trinity because I wanted to shut her up with my mouth smashed against hers, and that’s just what I did. I leaned in quickly and kissed her roughly. She hesitated for a moment and while her body tensed up, her lips did respond. She tasted so good. I’d missed that mouth ever since I’d kissed them the first time, which wasn’t even the first time we’d had sex.
Trinity’s hands wrapped around my waist and I pulled her into my lap. Her thin, long fingers were pressed into my sides and my hands were roaming her back as we stayed connected through our kiss just as much as our touch. Finally, Trinity’s body fully relaxed and she was in the moment, responding to what I was offering, and showing that there was something inside of her that wanted me, even if she just wouldn’t say it. Well, if I couldn’t get her to verbally say it, I’d get her to physically acknowledge it.
My hands slid under her t-shirt and I started to lift it up slowly, so eager to feel her breasts in my mouth and recall how amazing they were when I was licking them, nibbling them, and kissing them. My hard-on was raging huge and I felt so desperate to release it, and slide into Trinity with it, and feel the way she moved on top of me.
She gave a soft moan, and I finished sliding her t-shirt off. Two clammy hands suddenly pressed against my chest, and she pushed away. “Stop. This is fucking insane. I can’t do this,” she said. She sounded really panicked, and she jumped up and took a step backward, toppling onto the coffee table and knocking over one of the drinks.
“Shit, are you okay?” I asked.
Trinity shook her head and got up, making sure that she put the coffee table between us. Her eyes looked so scared. “I’m fine. Just stay away,” she said.
“I’m sorry. I thought you wanted this to,” I said.
“I...uh…”
I sat back down in the chair, and tossed Trinity her t-shirt. She turned around when she put it on. I know it wasn’t out of modestly. She didn’t want me to see her emotions; they were very hard for her to hide on her face, even when she refused to just state what they were.
“Can I have a bit more time if I promise to behave?” I asked.
“Sure, fine,” she said. Trinity sat back down and folded her arms protectively in front of her.
“I didn’t mean to freak you out. You have my word that I’ll behave.”
“As a gentleman?”
I laughed. “Hell no, but as a guy who has no desire to persuade someone to be intimate with me if they don’t want to be.”
“It’s not that,” Trinity said.
“It’s not what?” I asked. Interesting choice of words.
“Nothing,” Trinity said. She paused and then turned her head to look at me, and I saw a fiery determination in her eyes. “What are your feelings for me, exactly?” she asked.
Shit. She was turning the tables on me. I wasn’t nearly as comfortable answering these questions as I was asking them. Karma had kicked me in the ass.
“I think we have something really interesting going, or we had, and it was nice. I’m just trying to peg why it changed.”
“We were having fun, no commitments and nothing serious. That’s the page I thought we were on,” Trinity said.
“You didn’t think it might change as we got to know each other better?” I asked, my heart in a free fall. I didn’t want no-commitment sex. I could get that whenever I wanted.
“I don’t want to be a bitch, but no, I didn’t think that at all,” Trinity said to me. “I don’t do relationships because I’m not good at them.”
“How do you know you aren’t good if you never try?”
“As my dad would say, ‘you don’t have to get shot to know it would hurt.’”
I couldn’t help but release a hearty laugh at that. “Are you saying that having a relationship is comparable to getting shot? That’s some simile.”
“You know what I mean, Hunter. You may be a lot of things, but you are not stupid.”
“What type of things am I?” I asked. I wanted to turn this conversation back over to me controlling it. Trinity was good, too good.
“Well, right now you’re good at being a pain in the ass, and if I didn’t have my besties—or maybe ex-besties—right outside this door, I’d think you were a psycho, and I’d have to slam you in your jolly jigglers.”
“You’d kick a guy in the nuts for wanting to talk with you?”
“Not most, but you…maybe,” she said to me. I did see a smile, though. She expressed herself best by not being too serious. I just had to learn her code and hope to hell I was really processing it the right way.
“Okay, I’m not a psycho. What am I?”
“You’re a musician who doesn’t do drugs. I know that,” Trinity said.
“Surface stuff; tell me something more personal,” I challenged.
Trinity didn’t say anything for a few seconds. That would really suck if it was that hard to come up with a good quality about me. Finally, she shared what she’d come up with. “You look out for people in need. That’s pretty cool.”
“What do you mean?” I honestly didn’t know.
“There’s that guy at the coffee house…that was really stand-up. Oh, and you helped find me another job since my one back home was cancelled. That was pretty nice, and I appreciate it.”
“Thanks.” Helping the guy was a no brainer for me and as for helping Trin, I did do that, and it was funny, I really hadn’t thought about it. To me, it hadn’t been a big deal, but it had been to her. And if I were completely honest, maybe I’d had an ulterior motive. Maybe I’d just wanted her to stick around longer.
“Does this really bother you that I’d tricked you like this?” I asked. Remorse was starting to creep into my thoughts, just a bit.
“I underestimated you, and I really don’t get why, Hunter. This is a lot of work, and you’re not a guy who has a lot of free time on your hands, so I really don’t get it.”
“Honestly, I can’t say that I get it, either. There are certain times when you just know that someone isn’t being honest with you, and it is important to discover why, or at least try to understand it,” I said.
“Are you saying that you’ve been honest with me?” Trinity asked.
“I haven’t deliberately lied,” I said.
“But you’ve un-deliberately lied? About what?” she continued.
“Damn, you practicing to be an attorney?” I asked.
“No, but if we’re playing hot seat, I might as well get ready for the role, Hunter.”
“I’ll play hot seat with you any time,” I said, spreading my legs apart just a bit and patting my thighs for her to come sit on my lap again. She laughed, just like I’d hoped. “Though it’s not really as sexy and fun as I thought it would be.”
“Your plan failed? What was your ideal conclusion?” Trinity asked me.
I could not answer that question. There was no way.
“Your silence makes me think that you were hoping I’d confess having some sort of crazy emotions for you, confess my obsession, have some sex to confirm it, and then we’d leave this room together. As what, I have no idea.”
“Stop it, I didn’t mean it like that,” I said. “Trinity, you want the truth from me. Fine, I’ll tell you.” I breathed in and started talking—fast so I’d get as much out before I lost my nerve. “You drive me so fucking crazy, and it should bother the shit out of me, but it doesn’t. I love it. I love how challenging you are, and how much you keep me on my toes when we’re together. Whether we’re talking or having sex, it’s intense and it’s full of emotion, and I think it’s awesome. I’ve never felt it before, and I don’t know what the hell that means, exactly, but I know that you are someone that I want to explore
having more with.” I thought I was going to collapse. I hadn’t breathed through the entire confession.
I had been looking at Trinity, and I still was. She was looking at me, her mouth half opened, and her tongue darting in and out on the corner of her mouth. I’d noticed her do that when she was surprised, or trying to figure things out. It had been doing that the entire time she’d stood on the bungee jump platform, too, right up until she started screaming.
Silence.
I couldn’t handle it anymore. A few seconds seemed like an hour. “Well?” I finally said.
“I’m sorry, Hunter,” she said. “I don’t feel the same way, this isn’t smart for me,” she said.
“Not smart?” I questioned. “Emotions are never smart. What are you feeling? You asked me to tell you, and I did.” Of course, I knew her resistance likely was not good at this point.
“I am not ready to explore a real relationship right now. It’s not the right time.”
“Not the right time. Why?”
Trinity stood up and turned her back to me, and then whipped around. “It doesn’t matter why, Hunter. I’m out of here. I’m suddenly feeling a bit tired.”
I let her go, just watched her walk out the door. What else could I do? She didn’t turn and look at me, or say any word at all. Was I that wrong about her, or was she that scared to have a relationship? I hoped I was just wrong so I could process it, move on, and forget about it. I guessed I brought it all on myself. I’d insisted on her for the video because the song was inspired by her; I’d created this plan to trap her and force some sort of heartfelt confession. I’d done it with good intentions, but now that I was burned, I felt like it had been the dumbest idea I’d ever had. And I’d had plenty in my life.
I pulled out my cell phone and texted Brynn, just in case she hadn’t already intercepted Trinity. Mission failed.
Then I slumped into my chair and flopped my head back, staring up at the ceiling. I could hear lively music playing outside, people having fun and hooking up. All I wanted was to go home, and maybe have a stiff drink. Fuck, I thought, and for good measure, I repeated it a few times.