Two
At home that night, Yvonne found herself reviewing Scriptures on faith. She desperately needed to trust that God had a plan that would get her out of the jam she was in. In times of wavering doubt, Yvonne always opened her Bible and relied on the Word of God to boost her faith. She turned to the eighth chapter of Luke and began to read one of her favorite Scriptures, starting with the eighth verse.
Now it happened, on a certain day, that He got into a boat with His disciples. And He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side of the lake.” And they launched out. But as they sailed He fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water, and were in jeopardy. And they came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” Then He arose and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water. And they ceased, and there was a calm. But He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another, “Who can this be? For He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him!”
Right now, Yvonne not only needed the Lord to calm the wind and water; she needed Him to calm the deacons, elders, church board members, and congregation so that they didn’t hastily decide to throw her out. How had things gotten so out of control since David’s death? Yvonne simply didn’t understand. She had been co-pastor of Christ-Life for two decades and had always been treated kindly and respectfully by the leadership and the members.
Yvonne was turning the pages of her Bible to another favorite passage when her phone rang. She did not like to answer her phone when she was studying her Bible or praying, but when she glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Tia, she had to pick up. Her younger daughter had daily drama in her life, and Yvonne was afraid not to answer the phone, because if someone was holding her baby girl hostage, and Tia had managed to break away and call for help, Yvonne would never forgive herself for not taking the call. Tia’s drama seemed that extreme at times.
“Hey, honey! How are you doing?” Yvonne tried to sound upbeat, hoping that her drama queen would follow suit.
“Oh, Mama, I’m so sorry,” Tia said with a shaking voice.
It was obvious to Yvonne that Tia was crying. She moved her Bible off her lap and sat up. “What’s wrong, baby?”
Sniffling, Tia said, “I just wanted you to know how sorry I am about all of this.”
If Yvonne had known that Tia would take tomorrow’s board meeting to heart like this, she never would have told her about it. She never wanted her daughters to think poorly of Christ-Life Sanctuary or of any of its members or leadership. “Honey, don’t worry about me. Your uncle Thomas is in town, and he will be at the meeting. So, I know that I’ll have at least one vote on my side.”
“That’s awesome, Mama. I’m so glad that Uncle Thomas is going to help you with those crabby board members.” Tia sniffled again. “But that’s not what I’m sorry about.”
Drama, drama, drama. Bracing herself, Yvonne said, “I’m listening.”
“Before I go any further, I need for you to understand that I never meant for anything like this to happen. And I’m so, so sorry.”
“I get that, Tia. You’ve already told me how sorry you are. So, can you please just tell me what’s going on?”
With a burst of fresh tears, Tia blurted out, “I’m pregnant.”
Yvonne moved the phone away from her head, looked at it, and then pressed the receiver against her ear again. “Is this your idea of a joke, Tia? Because, if it is, I am not in the mood for this right now.”
“I wish I were joking, Mama, but...but it’s true,” Tia sobbed.
Nothing that Tia had ever done could have prepared Yvonne for this phone call. Not the time she’d had to pick up her teenage daughter at the police station for mouthing off to a police officer after he’d cited her friend for driving without a license. Not the time when Tia had informed her and David that she was dropping out of college to attend art school. And not even the time when Tia had met a guy on the Internet, only to find out that he was an online predator looking for teenage girls to do ungodly things with. No, as shocking as those incidents had been, none of them had prepared Yvonne for this moment.
Tia had always been the “problem child,” the one who required a little more time and attention to keep her on the right path—or, when she strayed from the path, to drag her, kicking and screaming, back on track. David had known exactly how to handle her. He would see her hanging with the wrong crowd or chasing after useless things and would instantly redirect her.
Tia seemed to receive correction from her father better than she received it from her mother, so Yvonne had simply stepped aside and allowed David to discipline their wayward child while she stayed on her knees, praying and interceding for Tia, as well as for Toya. But whom could she turn to now? She had just confessed to Thomas that she wasn’t ready to be a grandmother, and then Tia had the audacity to make her enter granny-land, anyway. Lord Jesus, I need Your help! she prayed silently before responding, “Didn’t I warn you about dating a guy who is not the least bit interested in the God you serve?” She knew that Tia’s commitment to the Lord had wavered in recent years, but using her faith as a platform for punishment seemed like a safe route.
“Robbie is interested in God,” Tia insisted. “We talk about the Bible all the time.”
Yvonne sighed deeply. “How can you be pregnant, Tia? You’re only twenty-four, and...and you’re not married.”
“I know, b-but Robbie loves me, and—and he w-wants us to get m-married.” Tia was crying harder now.
Take a deep breath, Yvonne told herself. The deed has already been done. This is no time to remind her that she shouldn’t be having sex before marriage. “If Robbie wants to get married, that’s a good thing, right?”
“Y-yes....”
“Then why are you crying so hard?”
“Because...because I didn’t want to get married like this. I’m going to be fat walking down the aisle!”
Yvonne glanced at her Bible and wished she had spent the past half hour reading Scriptures on patience rather than faith. “Tia, you’re about to bring an innocent life into this world—a life that you neither planned for, nor are prepared for. And you’re telling me that the thing you’re worried about most is being fat at your wedding?”
“That’s not all,” Tia said defensively. “I’m also upset because I don’t have a father to walk me down the aisle.”
Yvonne could understand that. She could remember David talking with their girls about how any boys they brought home needed to be respectable Christians, and how, if they knew what was right, they would ask his blessing before proposing to them.... She found that she couldn’t respond to Tia’s last comment because now she felt like crying, too.
“Oh, Mama!” Tia said with renewed excitement in her voice. “Do you think Uncle Thomas would walk me down the aisle?”
David was supposed to be here for this. He was supposed to walk her down the aisle. He was supposed to hold Yvonne’s hand and tell her that everything would be okay.
Yvonne wiped at a runaway tear. “I’ll ask him.”
***
Early the next morning, Thomas got in his car and headed for Flint, Michigan. He’d made plans to meet his son for breakfast before the board meeting. At twenty-seven, Jarrod Reed was already a successful sales manager for a Fortune 500 company with locations all over the United States. The job paid well, and Jarrod seemed happy, but Thomas worried that he traveled too much.
As if you have room to talk, he thought to himself, considering that he’d traveled almost nonstop—not just throughout the U.S., but also in other countries, as he went from one speaking engagement or book signing to the next. This had been his schedule throughout Jarrod’s childhood, and his son had often complained about his long absences from home. Thomas had repeatedly promised that he would slow down someday soon and stop traveling as much so that he, Brenda, and Jarrod could do all the things they’d been planning to do. Too bad “some
day soon” had come after Brenda died.
Thomas enjoyed his career. He loved to travel, so having speaking engagements in one town after the next never bothered him, aside from the regret of being away from his family. He’d written twelve best sellers that readers seemed to benefit from. And he liked to believe that he was doing a lot to further the kingdom of Christ. He hadn’t been a pastor in over twenty years, but he still delivered the good news to anyone and everyone who attended his workshops and conferences. He spoke on such topics as how to have a fulfilling life with God in the very center of everything. For the last twenty-five years, Thomas had been training pastors, leaders, and congregants, helping them to identify the passion that drives them and live lives of integrity.
Yes, Thomas had accomplished a great deal, but that didn’t erase the regret he felt at not spending enough time with Brenda and Jarrod. It was too late to make amends for being an absentee husband. He hoped, however, that Jarrod was willing to give his father another chance to be a part of his life.
As Thomas pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant where he was meeting Jarrod, he said a silent prayer, asking God to help him and his son get back the things they’d lost while he was out making a name for himself.
Thomas got out of his car and spotted his son. He was standing outside the restaurant with back toward Thomas, engaged in what appeared to be a deep conversation with a pretty young woman wearing five-inch heels and a very, very short skirt. Thomas never got too excited about the outward appearance of a woman, because he knew that the inward package was much more important. But he couldn’t remember having a conversation with his son about what to look for in a woman. He walked up and patted Jarrod on the back. “Son! I hope you haven’t been waiting on me for too long.”
Jarrod turned and shook his hand. “Hey! It was no problem,” Jarrod said. “I met Marissa while I was waiting, and I was just about to ask her to have lunch with us.”
Spoken like a man with his mind already made up about the woman in front of him, Thomas thought. Well, his mind was made up, too. The woman’s blouse was so tight, he thought for sure the buttons were going to burst. “Maybe some other time, son,” Thomas said. “I haven’t seen you in a while, and I was really looking forward to catching up with you.” He then turned to Marissa. “Would you mind giving my son your telephone number so he can give you a call later?”
Marissa smiled, then reached into her purse and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. “I can do that.” She scribbled on the paper and handed it to Jarrod. “Call me when you get a chance.”
“I’ll talk to you soon, Marissa,” Jarrod said, waving as she walked away. He then turned to Thomas. “Where’d you find that car?”
Thomas beamed as he turned to look at his 1947 Buick Roadmaster. “Oh, I bought it at an auction several months ago.” All his life, he had admired classic cars but hadn’t had the money to do anything about it. That was until ten years ago, when his ministry had kicked into overdrive. He now had three classic cars and was on the hunt for a fourth.
“So, when am I going to get to drive this one?” Jarrod asked. He had developed the same love for classic cars, even though he had yet to purchase one.
Thomas merely chuckled.
“Well, shall we go in?” Jarrod asked.
“Sounds good. I’m starving.”
“Mama used to say that you were always starving,” Jarrod joked as he held the door for Thomas.
“That was because your mama could cook like nobody I’ve ever known.” Just thinking about the meals Brenda used to prepare made his stomach growl. “That woman could throw down in the kitchen. Now, that’s what you need—a woman who can cook. Have you dated any of the women at your church?”
“A few, but I’m not really worried about finding a woman who can cook. Right now, I’m just looking for someone who fits me. You feel me?”
“Oh, I feel you, all right. But trust me, when you marry that woman, you’ll be much happier if she shines in the kitchen. A lot of these young girls nowadays know how to throw a TV dinner in the microwave, and that’s about it.”
Jarrod got a faraway look in his eyes. “Mama always wanted your meals at home to be special. She said that you ate out so much and enjoyed meals prepared by top chefs that she didn’t want you to feel like you were missing something at home.”
Thomas hadn’t known that Brenda had gone to all that trouble because she didn’t want him to be disappointed with how her cooking compared to restaurant fare. He’d simply thought that she enjoyed preparing elaborate meals. His son’s words caught him off guard, and he pondered them as he and Jarrod followed the waitress to their table.
When they were seated, Thomas picked up his menu and began to scan the items as he asked, “Why would your mama think that I would prefer restaurant food to hers?”
“I think Mama wasted a lot of time doing things that you never even noticed. I think she even made herself sick on occasion just to keep you home. But it never worked. You were always back on the road, headed here and there—anywhere but home to your family.”
Thomas put down his menu and looked at Jarrod. “I’m sorry, son. There was a time in my life when I had it all wrong. I thought that I had to make a success of myself to make up for failing at pastoring a church. But I never took the time to consider how my need for success was affecting you and your mama.”
Jarrod shrugged.
“I know it’s too late to make it up to your mama, but if you’d allow me, I’d like to make it up to you.”
“How are you going to do that, Dad? I mean, I’m twenty-seven; I don’t have any more school field trips for you to chaperone. And if I want to go to Disney World now, I can just take myself.”
“I know you can take yourself wherever you want to go. But would you really mind if I tagged along from time to time?”
“How are you going to tag along with me when you have so many commitments to fulfill?”
The waitress came back to the table and asked if they were ready to order.
“Can you give us a few minutes?” Thomas asked her, then turned back to Jarrod. “I have slowed down a bit since your mama passed. I guess I finally realized that I don’t have anything to prove to anybody.”
Jarrod leaned back in his chair and smiled. “I’m glad that you’ve finally decided to slow down. I mean, you are getting up there in age, you know?”
“I bet I can still take you in some one-on-one.”
“Whatever, old man. Please. Don’t even make me embarrass you on the court.”
“So, what do you say, Jarrod? I’m here with hat in hand. Do you think you can give your old man a chance?”
“Dad, calm down, okay? I might need a little therapy because of all the time you spent away from home, but I always knew that you loved me. You made that very clear. And I always knew that you were working and traveling to provide for me and Mama. So, I’m not mad at you. And, yeah, I’d like for you to hang out with me from time to time.”
“Thanks, kid. Now, about this girl you were talking to outside—”
“Don’t even start. You are the last one who should give out any type of advice on relationships,” Jarrod told him with a laugh.
That stung. But what could he say? He hadn’t been home enough to show Jarrod how to build a lasting relationship with a woman. If anything, Brenda had showed him more about love than Thomas ever had.
“Can I give you a piece of advice, Dad?” Jarrod asked.
“Sure, son.”
“If you ever get married again, please try to be more tuned in to the needs of your wife. Okay?”
Thomas chuckled. “I don’t think you have to worry about that, son. I was married to Brenda for so long that I can’t see myself with anyone else.”
“Dad, it’s okay with me if you get married again. Honest. I just want you to make the next woman happy.”
Thomas grinned, feeling humbled. When he had pulled up and seen his son talking to that woman, he had been worried abo
ut his son’s choices. But Jarrod was a wise young man. He could teach his father a few things.
Three
God had opened doors for Yvonne early in her ministry. Once word had spread about Yvonne Milner’s life-changing messages, she had been invited to preach at numerous churches in the area—a list that grew in number and in area. In her early years, she’d preached messages on holiness and repentance in the spirit of Reverend Jackie McCullough. But even though she had been in high demand, those early years had been challenging because of the way women preachers were treated. When Yvonne first began traveling from church to church to preach, she often encountered people who informed her that she was not allowed to enter the pulpit. Instead, a portable podium would be brought down to the floor, and she would have to deliver her message from there.
There had been times when Yvonne felt like storming out of the church in protest, but the Lord would always admonish her to stay. So, Yvonne would humbly deliver the message the Lord had given her and then thanked the people in attendance.
But as the years passed, a new movement took hold in the church. Pastors’ wives began organizing women’s conferences, events that brought in some of the most respected women in ministry to encourage and build up the women of the church. As those conferences began to flourish, certain male pastors who coveted their pulpits so much that they forbade women to stand behind them began to sit up and take notice. Once the women’s conference movement took off, Yvonne never had to stand on the floor to preach again. Many pulpits were open and welcoming to male and female preachers alike. But now it felt as if her own congregation was trying to relegate her to the floor again.
At first, Yvonne had felt deeply hurt and more than a little angry at the church board members for turning their backs on her. After hearing Tia’s confession, however, Yvonne was half tempted to sit her own self down and hand her position to someone else. Her eyes had been opened to the truth: she loved sharing the gospel and was filled with joy every time a repentant heart turned to God. But she had been so busy grieving David’s death that she had lost that joy and had been doing out her job as if it was just that—a job, rather than a ministry. Yvonne could now admit that she hadn’t been an effective leader in her church, and she hadn’t been an attentive mother, either. If she was honest, she understood why the board wanted her to resign. She was hindering the growth of the church she claimed to love. But did she love it enough to do the right thing? And just what was the right thing?
Our Love Page 2