Our Love

by Vanessa Miller

  “Whether you want to admit it or not, Mama, the reality of your situation is that your board members think you are a hazard to the health of Christ-Life Sanctuary. And without Uncle Thomas, you wouldn’t have a chance at staying senior pastor. Now, I know this isn’t fair. There are extenuating circumstances that your congregation doesn’t seem to care about.”

  “That’s right. My husband died. I miss the man.”

  “I know. We all do. Daddy was an awesome man and a respected pastor. But it’s been almost two years, Mama. You’ve got to find a way to stop grieving and move on with your life. And I believe that is the message your board wanted to send to you today.”

  “What are you saying, Toya?”

  “I just think you should accept help when you need it. You’re a strong woman, Mama. I get that. But even Jesus needed the disciples to help Him through his journey on earth.”

  That was her Toya, always the practical one. If something was broken, then it needed to be fixed. Plain and simple. But Yvonne didn’t want to take advantage of her friendship with Thomas or feel like she was using him and his generosity. “I appreciate what Thomas is trying to do, Toya, and I admit that I’ve dug myself into a hole that I need help getting out of. But if I decide to accept Thomas’s help, it will have to be a temporary thing. I’m not trying to take the man’s money or his wandering spirit away from him.”

  “All right, Mama. You do what you think is best, and I’ll be praying for you.”

  “Thank you, sweetie. I need all the prayers I can get right now.” Not only for this board meeting, but also to know what to do about Tia. She assumed that Toya had yet to learn about Tia’s pregnancy, and she decided that Tia could tell her sister, herself. “Talk to you later, okay?”

  “Okay. Love you!”

  “I love you, too.”

  They hung up just as Yvonne pulled into her driveway. She went inside, took a shower, and then dressed for lunch.

  But before she could leave the house, her phone rang again. She was tempted not to answer it, but whenever the caller ID displayed Tia’s name, she had to pick up. “Hey, hon. I’m on my way out—can I call you when I’m in the car?”

  “Mama, I really need to talk to you—now!” Tia screamed. She sounded hysterical.

  Oh, Lord, what could have happened to this child now? Yvonne sat down on the couch, figuring that whatever was wrong would take no more than a minute for Tia to explain. “What’s the matter, sweetie? What happened?”

  “Robbie lost his job.”

  “What? Why?”

  “His boss says he showed up to work drunk.”

  “Are you telling me that Robbie has a drinking problem?” Yvonne was floored. Although she didn’t get to talk with Robbie often, since he and Tia lived in Chicago, she had met him several times and had never gotten the sense that he was a drinker.

  “No, Mama. Robbie doesn’t have a drinking problem. He had a bad cold, so he took some cold medicine and went to work. I guess the medicine made him a little woozy, and he was driving the forklift erratically. His boss got upset and accused him of being drunk, but all he was trying to do was feel better so he could work.”

  “Fighting a cold or not, Robbie never should have been driving that forklift if he was medicated. His boss was right to be angry. Someone could have been seriously injured.”

  “Yeah, but now Robbie and I won’t have money to pay our bills.”

  That’s my Tia, always thinking of others first. “Looks to me like Robbie needs to be out looking for another job. And maybe this time he won’t take so much cold medicine—if that is in fact what he took.” Yvonne knew she sounded harsh, but she wanted to believe she could expect more from the father of her future grandchild.

  “Did you ask Uncle Thomas if he would walk me down the aisle?” Tia asked, changing the subject.

  “Not yet, honey, but I’m meeting him for lunch. I’ll ask him then.”

  “Why didn’t you ask him earlier? You know how much Uncle Thomas travels. If you wait much longer, he might be all booked up.”

  I was a little busy trying to keep my own job, Yvonne wanted to say to her daughter. But she knew that Tia hadn’t given a thought to the decisive board meeting. The fact that her mother had almost been thrown out of the pulpit of her church was of minor importance compared to her little princess’s wedding. “I’ve got to go, Tia. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “But I still need to discuss the wedding with you!”

  “What do we have to discuss, Tia? The boy doesn’t have a job, and I know that you would never marry a man with no job.” If there was one thing that Yvonne had tried to instill in her girls, it was 2 Thessalonians 3:10: “If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.” Real men took care of their families.

  “I’m still pregnant, Mama, so of course I’m going to marry him. Robbie will find another job.”

  “Let’s talk about this tomorrow, all right? I’ve got to go.”

  “Okay, but call me first thing in the morning,” Tia demanded.

  “I will.” Yvonne hung up the phone and closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind. She hoped and prayed that Tia knew what she was doing, and that she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life.

  Then, she jumped off the couch, gathered her purse, and got in her car. When she and Thomas had left the church, they’d agreed to meet at Bourbon Steak in one hour. Now, she was running late, so she sped down the street, trying to make up for lost time. On the highway, she continued along at 20 miles an hour over the speed limit, praying that no policemen with radar guns were nearby.

  No such luck. Flashing lights appeared in her rearview mirror, and Yvonne’s heart sank as she pulled to the side of the road. Not again. She had plenty of friends who pulled the “I’m a preacher” card whenever they were pulled over for speeding or other traffic violations. But Yvonne never did that. In her thirty-six years of driving, she’d been caught speeding only two other times. Both times, she’d taken the ticket without argument and dutifully mailed in her payment. So, when the state trooper knocked on her window and asked for her license and registration, Yvonne complied without uttering a word.

  The trooper took the information, then leaned down so that his face was level with hers. He wore a big grin. “Pastor Yvonne?”

  She immediately recognized him as Charlie Randall, a longtime member of Christ-Life. Hopefully he would keep this incident to himself. “Hey, Charlie! How are you doing?”

  “I’m doing good, Pastor Yvonne. My wife still listens to her CDS of the sermons you’ve preached. She can’t wait to buy some new ones.”

  Since David’s death, Yvonne had been preaching about one Sunday a month. And each of those sermons had been delivered halfheartedly. Lately, Yvonne had been appointing various elders to preach most of the sermons, giving the excuse that the elders had been wondering when they would have a chance to preach. In truth, Yvonne knew that she had been neglecting her responsibilities.

  All that was about to change. Since the board had graciously agreed to give her a second chance, Yvonne felt that she had no choice but to accept Thomas’s offer. But she had a few conditions of her own that he would have to live with. “Well, you can tell Marilyn that she won’t have to wait much longer, because I will be back in the pulpit full-time starting this Sunday.”

  Charlie did a little jump. “That’s good news, Pastor!” He leaned in closer and lowered his voice. “I’m gonna let you off with just a warning this time, but try to drive a little slower, okay?”

  “Thank you, Charlie. I appreciate your kindness. I will slow down, I promise.” And I’m on my way to slow Thomas Reed down, too, she thought as she pulled away with a wave.

  Five

  By the time Yvonne arrived at the restaurant, Thomas had already been seated, and he had an appetizer of Crab Louie lettuce cups waiting on her.

  “How did you remember that I liked these things?” she asked as she sat down. “It’s been a couple of years since we last ate here.”


  “How could I forget?” Thomas asked as she inhaled the aroma of the lettuce cups, then popped one in her mouth. “You practically hugged those lettuce cups to your chest and wouldn’t let the rest of us have any.”

  Yvonne swallowed. “That was right after Brenda passed. David and I brought you here to cheer you up. I’m sorry if I was uncharitable with the appetizer.”

  “It’s okay. You can make up for it by sharing with me tonight.”

  “All right,” she said begrudgingly as she pushed the plate closer to him. “Eat as many as you want.”

  When the server came back to the table, Thomas ordered the sixteen-ounce Kansas City strip with a grilled lobster tail. Yvonne didn’t have a taste for steak, so she ordered the king crab legs with a side salad and a baked potato.

  While they waited for their food, they reminisced about their early days in ministry and swapped stories about peaks and pitfalls over the years, even if some of those stories were already familiar, if not infamous.

  When their meals arrived, Thomas said grace, and then they dug in, continuing their light banter throughout the meal. It felt good to spend time with an old friend, one who knew her past and shared her pain in the loss of a spouse. But as they were finishing up, Thomas leaned in and said, “See how comfortable we are with each other? You and I would be good together.”

  What? His comment caught her off guard, and she must have grimaced terribly, for he quickly held up a hand. “That came out wrong. I meant that we would be good pastoring the church together. The two of us would make a good team.”

  Yvonne put her fork down and reached out to press Thomas’s hand. “We’re good friends, Thomas—that’s why were so comfortable with each other,” she gently explained. “But you know as well as I do that it’s hard for friends to work together.” The last thing she wanted was to start some venture with Thomas and then lose him as a friend because they were constantly at each other’s throats. She had lost too much already.

  “We’ll be just fine, Yvonne,” Thomas insisted.

  “You say that now, but I can be hard to deal with. Especially when I think I’m right about an issue.”

  “Like right now, when you’re giving me a hard time, and all I want to do is help a friend out? Come on, Yvonne. I promised David that I would do everything in my power to help if you should ever need me. And, well, you need me now.”

  Yvonne pressed a hand to her brow and shook her head. What else could she say to make him understand? She lifted her head and looked him in the eye. “I know I need you, but this is too much. I can’t take everything you’re offering.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I know you, Thomas. Your heart has never been at home in one place for too long. You’re a wanderer...and that’s okay. Maybe God gave you that restless spirit so that you would find joy in being on the road so much. Somebody has to take His message all over the world.”

  “I’ve done all of that, Yvonne. And I missed so much. I even let my son down by not showing up at the events that were important to him.” Thomas shook his head. “I still haven’t forgiven myself for how I neglected Brenda and Jarrod. But God is giving me a second chance with Jarrod, and I’m going to take it. Are you going to take your second chance, too?”

  “Here’s the deal, Thomas. I’m not a fool. So, yes, I’ll admit I do need your help to get out of this mess. But if I accept your help, you will have to accept my conditions. Okay?”

  Thomas put on his sad puppy-dog face, then tilted his face heavenward and said, “I offer the woman my money and whatever I can do to help, and she puts conditions on accepting them. Lord, Your children really know how to make a man feel unloved.”

  Yvonne tried to frown but ended up grinning, instead. “Stop acting crazy. Just listen to my idea.”

  “Okay. Tell me what you need.”

  Their server stopped by the table again and asked, “Does anyone want dessert?”

  Yvonne patted her stomach. “No, thanks. I couldn’t eat another bite.”

  Thomas shook his head. “I’ll just take the check, please.”

  When the server had gone, Yvonne said, “Okay. I know that you said you’re ready to stop traveling so much, but I don’t buy it. You may be tired of being on the road right now, but soon enough, you’ll get that wanderlust again. And that’s fine with me—great, actually. Because I would like you to come to Christ-Life and co-pastor the church with me...on a temporary basis.”

  Thomas gave her a quizzical look. “So, what are you saying? Are you putting me on a six-month probation or something?”

  “You’re not on probation, Thomas. But I want you to be free to be the man God made you to be. I don’t want to tie you down and make you unhappy. So, the minute you get the itch to go back on the road, don’t let me stop you. I need you to promise me that you will live your life and not get stuck here with me.”

  ***

  Thomas didn’t want to go back on the road. And he didn’t think that the commitment he was willing to make to Christ-Life Sanctuary would cause him to feel stuck. However, he was starting to feel a bit uneasy about his decision, but for a completely different reason from what Yvonne suspected. When he had slipped up and said that he and Yvonne would be “good together,” she’d thought he meant as a couple. The look of horror on her face had made it clear that she could not bear to even imagine that scenario—and that bothered him more than he would have expected it to.

  He and Yvonne had never thought of each other in the manner before, so why should he care if she was repelled by the idea of being with him? It wasn’t like he wanted to be with her, anyway...right?

  As a matter of fact, Thomas wasn’t sure if he wanted to enter into holy matrimony ever again. Although he’d loved Brenda dearly, their marriage had been far from perfect. In the beginning, he’d always invite Brenda to travel with him, but she’d always found an excuse to stay home. Plus, she was afraid of planes, trains, automobiles, and just about every other form of transportation. Once Jarrod was born, she no longer needed to come up with excuses. She was a stay-at-home mom, and she took her role literally. Jarrod was critical of his father because of how much he believed Brenda had missed him during his trips, but Jarrod never knew that Thomas would have loved for his family to tag along on his trips.

  Maybe Yvonne was right. He didn’t need to tie himself down to one place and commit himself to a woman who wasn’t even his wife. “Okay,” Thomas finally said. “Let’s do this your way. I’ll co-pastor the church until you can get things back in order, and then I’ll get back on the road.”

  “Thank you, Thomas. You are such a great friend.”

  Thomas picked up the leather folio the server had just dropped off and slid his credit card into the inside pocket. “Is there anything else I can do that might help?”

  “Well, there are two more things I want to discuss.”

  “Name them. Whatever they are, I’ll make them happen for you.”

  “First, the money you offered was a wonderful gesture, but I can’t let you give such a large gift.”

  “How are you going to pay the bills if you don’t take the money?” Thomas asked.

  “Oh, I want the money. I just don’t want you to give it to us. So, I am asking you for a loan. And I’d like you to have your accountant look over our books to ensure that Christ-Life will be a good investment for you.”

  Thomas rolled his eyes. “Just take the money, Yvonne. We don’t have to go through all of that. When my church was in trouble, David offered me money. So, what’s the difference?”

  “The difference is that you didn’t take that money, Thomas Reed, and you know it.”

  “That’s because I was young, stubborn, and full of pride. Don’t make my mistakes, Yvonne.”

  “I said I would take the money, as long as you have your accountant list it as a loan. I don’t want to feel like I’m taking money away from Jarrod’s inheritance, so please, just make a loan to us, Thomas. Okay?” She extended her ha
nd.

  Resignedly, Thomas shook her hand. “You’re too stubborn for your own good, you know that?”

  Yvonne smiled but didn’t respond.

  “What was the other thing you wanted to talk to me about?”

  “Oh, right. Tia wants you to walk her down the aisle.”

  Thomas nearly jumped out of his seat. “Little Tia is getting married?” He slammed the table jubilantly. “That girl isn’t old enough to be throwing her heart away on some worthless man.”

  “Oh, you and David are just alike. No man could ever be good enough for Tia or Toya, to hear the two of you tell it. But Tia is pregnant, and—”

  “She’s what?” Thomas hit the table again, this time in anger. “Who is the jerk? I’ll break his neck.”

  “No, you’re not going to harm the father of my first grandchild. But you can make sure he knows that there will be no cold feet at this shotgun wedding.”

  “Done. And tell Tia that I would be honored to walk her down the aisle. When are they getting married?”

  “I don’t know yet. She just told me about all of this last night.”

  “And you’re not in shock?”

  “Oh, I’m in shock, all right, I’m just good at hiding it. Nothing that girl says can surprise me anymore.”

  Thomas reached across the table and gave her shoulder a squeeze. “It will turn out fine. At least they believe in the importance of the marriage covenant, right?”

  Yvonne smiled blandly. “Thank you for doing this for her, Thomas. You are such a good friend, to me and to my family, and I never want to lose your friendship.”

  When the server returned with Thomas’s credit card, he filed it back inside his wallet, then stood up and held out a hand for Yvonne. They walked out of the restaurant arm in arm, talking and laughing like a married couple. Thomas hoped that their relationship would be strengthened, not damaged, by their working together to Pastor Christ-Life.

  Six

  Deacon Clarence Brown sat behind the desk in his real estate office, opening mail and frowning as he reviewed one delinquency notice after another.