by A. C. James
“She’s not here, but she’ll be in later for her shift,” Tessa said.
Crap.
The club didn’t open until eight o’clock. Most of our clients, those who frequented the BDSM club upstairs or the Goth clubbers who came for vampire role play downstairs, were night owls anyway.
“Well, you’re welcome to stick around and wait for her,” Tessa said. “She’s been staying in your old apartment since Victoria left, and pulling extra shifts.”
But her gaze went from Arie to Toren when she said stick around. Did she want him to stay? Had she looked hopeful for a split second or had I imagined it?
Toren snickered. “Oh, I don’t want to tie you up.”
That comment seemed to light a fire in Tessa’s eyes, but whatever it was that got under her skin was gone in an instant.
“Those days are over,” Tessa said. “I don’t let anyone rope me into things that I won’t have time for tomorrow. Least of all you.”
Ouch.
I thought Toren was flirting with her and that maybe Tessa even liked it a little. I didn’t know what it was between them, but there was definitely something there. A connection, whether they saw it or not, wanted it or not—but then, it was always easier to deny how you really felt rather than take a chance on getting hurt. I understood that weakness all too well.
Toren’s eyes, which were a deeper green than hers, looked like an ice-covered forest. He’d shut down too. Shut her out before I’d even been able to figure out why.
“We’ll stop back later when she’s around,” Toren said.
“Fine by me,” Tessa said before she turned toward me. “While this is going on I want you to take some time off, Holly.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”
“I usually am,” she answered, but she wasn’t looking at me. Tessa was looking at Toren in a way that I’d never seen her look at anyone. She looked at him the way that I looked at Arie, except she looked let down, too. “I love when I’m proved wrong, but people always have a way of disappointing you eventually.”
I’d never wanted to hug Tessa—she didn’t seem like the hugging type—but she looked like she could use one now.
“Can’t argue with you there,” Arie said, his gaze following Tessa’s. “Come on, Holly. We’ll come back later.”
When I turned to follow Arie out, Toren was looking down, and I understood what I saw. Regret. And regret was a powerful thing. I’d never let anyone in before I met Arie, because the Sight made relationships impossible. But I’d always wondered if I should have, because then maybe it’d be easier for me to trust now. Instead I worried about decisions I’d made because I didn’t want to do the wrong thing, and so many times it held me back from following my heart. The Sight had always made me feel stuck, uncomfortable, or like I should have done something else. I never wanted to regret anything so I’d always played it safe. At least until Arie had walked into my life the day he came to the Coffee Grind, and I’d been swept into his world, swept into a love that I never thought was possible. Whether either of them was aware of it, both Toren and Tessa seemed locked in a past filled with regret instead of embracing the chance for a new beginning that could change their future.
Toren rose from the oversized chair in front of her desk and gave Tessa a quick nod. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
Tessa’s laugh sounded harsh. “Thanks for the warning.”
“Tell Luna that we stopped by,” I said.
Toren had already stepped into the hallway, and stood there looking back at her with his hands shoved in his pockets. Tessa stepped around her desk and held the door open to show us out. Then only thing painful about guilt or regret was if we continued to allow it to have power over us by giving in to the pointless suffering that we inflicted on ourselves and letting it consume us.
“Will do,” Tessa said.
I was glad to leave the heavy air of her office behind, but it was replaced in the BMW, where Toren remained silent, for once, as he looked out the window while we passed budding trees lining the sidewalk. It was the first sign of spring. A sign of new beginnings; but whenever a new narrative begins it usually means that something else had to end.
* * *
I’d loved Arie since the first time I’d seen him sitting in the Coffee Grind checking me out. I just didn’t know it at the time. I’d been frazzled and annoyed with the way his eyes followed my every move, even though he was the hottest man I’d ever seen. That he was drool-worthy was for sure, but why he kept coming in day after day—or why he’d bother with someone like me—had been unclear. Not that I was unattractive, but I’d always felt like a plain Jane with my unruly chestnut hair and glasses. I no longer needed the glasses as a vampire, and Arie always brushed away the hair that fell into my face. At the moment he was twirling a strand around his index finger.
We were side by side in his ginormous bed. We’d retreated upstairs in the loft and left Toren to mull over the tumbler he sipped, swirled, scowled, and then continued to repeat that process until Arie gave me the nod. We got the hell out of Dodge before the scowling and stench of alcohol could get any worse. Then I’d heard the door to the balcony open and close. So for the moment we had the loft to ourselves.
-So were Tessa and Toren ever a thing?- I asked Arie telepathically, because even though Toren was outside I couldn’t be sure whether he’d be able to hear me if I whispered.
Arie sighed. –Something happened between them, but Toren doesn’t talk about it. Neither does she, but I get the distinct impression that she’ll never trust him.-
I smiled. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“Does it matter? He’ll never change, and I guarantee you he won’t stick around. He’s never stayed in one place for very long, and after our disagreement about Katarina he’s never put down roots.”
I nodded. “I know what that’s like.”
“He’s always resented that I saved his life.”
“When you turned him…”
Arie looked away for a moment and then met my eyes. “He was too young to know what he was doing by choosing a death sentence. I could understand with our father. I wasn’t happy about it at first, but I could honor that. No, Toren’s choice was suicidal, an act of stupidity, and someone had to save him from himself.”
“I get it. Your father had lived his life,” I said.
“And I was selfish at first to want it any other way, but losing a parent is hard. Maybe you think I should have done the same with Toren, but he was always too reckless to think things through.”
“You love him.”
Arie sighed. “It’s more than that.” –With him sometimes I’ve wondered if he has a death wish.- “But when Toren and I both found out the truth through my father’s ramblings on his death bed, none of that mattered to me.” –He has a way of testing your patience and making you not like what comes out when he pushes you too far.-
I understood that too. I’d never known Arie to be selfish, and understood now why Victoria had been the only one he’d turned after Toren and Katarina. I placed my fingertips on his mouth to still his words and replaced my fingers with my lips. I put my arms around his neck and brought his head down, deepening the kiss. The pressing of our lips, the tangle of our tongues began as a slow movement that became savage. Frantic. My hands trailed down his chest, opening the top button on his shirt. It was hard to think, and hard to concentrate on getting his shirt off, when he kissed me until every muscle had turned to jelly.
Whenever Arie kissed me the entire world faded, and all we knew was the taste of each other’s mouths. I’d never had that experience when I kissed anyone before. And I never heard Toren when he came back in from the balcony or knew he was in the living room downstairs until his telepathic jeer.
–Do you two ever stop? I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back later.-
I flinched when the door to the loft banged shut.
-If I feel like it.-
He had to ad
d that last bit through the door he’d just slammed like an insolent teenager. In a way I was relieved that he had left. Arie sighed and pressed his forehead against mine. At that moment I hated the hypersensitive hearing that we had, because it felt like Arie and I could never be alone.
“I’m sorry about that,” Arie said.
“Why are you apologizing for someone else?”
“No one should be subjected to Toren.”
I laughed. “Well at least now we’re really alone.”
Arie grinned. “You’ve got a point. Where were we?”
He traced a finger along my jaw line, down my neck, and across the crest of my breast.
“Mmmm. I do believe you were kissing me.”
“Like this?”
Arie trailed kisses down my neck and across my collarbone. I couldn’t think of a better way to kill the time while we were waiting for the club to open and Luna to start her shift. My fingers found the buttons on his shirt, and I picked up where I’d left off. I’d never tire of taking Arie’s clothes off. He had a way of ratcheting my libido into overdrive, and I didn’t mind it one bit. No, Arie could tie me to the bedposts any day of the week, and nothing made me fall apart like his hands and his mouth lighting a fire across my skin.
I prayed that he’d make me fall apart a few times before we left this bed.
Chapter 6
Arie didn’t disappoint as his hands spanned my ribcage. His hands only left my skin when I guided his unbuttoned shirt down his shoulders, down his strong arms, and then tossed it clear across the room. He grinned as I looked up at him because, now he’d straddled my hips and he was looking at me the way a kid looked on Christmas morning right before unwrapping the biggest, shiniest present underneath the tree. The one that you always saved for last because you knew it would be that damn good. I’d never experienced that as a kid, but my first holiday with the Ellis family that huge box had contained a ginormous flatscreen for my bedroom. But now the gigantic package that I intended to unwrap was clearly defined against the denim constraining it as he hovered above me. His hands came back to me, slid under my shirt, and spanned my waist. My breath hitched.
“God, you’re sexy,” he said.
“Oh? Which part?”
My hands explored his biceps, moved over his shoulders, and splayed across his well-defined chest. Oh, God. I couldn’t get enough of him. Arie would be my undoing.
“I love every part of you and I want to kiss, lick, and flick every inch of you with my tongue.”
I swear I could feel the heat in my cheeks all the way down to my toes, but I loved how Arie looked at me like I was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. It made a gal like me actually feel like I lived up to his words. He made me want to believe I was the sexy creature he described.
“You won’t get any argument from me on that matter. Lick away.”
His eyes darkened with desire, and I could feel him harden against my mound even through the stiff fabric of his jeans. Arie gripped the edge of my top and pulled it over my head. I sat up just enough to help with the process. My long wavy strands fanned out across the stark white pillowcase when I leaned back; Arie tangled his hand into its waves the way he always liked to do.
“I want you to close your eyes. This is about you, and I want you to feel everything I’m going to do to you. Relax. And just feel.”
His words were like a caress that sent tingles across my overheated flesh.
“Just feel…” The way he said it, his voice was so much softer than I ever remembered him speaking, miles away from the deep, husky voice he used most of the time. He brushed his thumb across my lips. “I want to memorize every curve of your body. I don’t ever want to forget.”
A lump formed in my throat. “You won’t.”
“Close your eyes, Holly.”
I let my eyes slowly drift closed. But I didn’t miss that moment before my eyelashes fluttered past my field of vision, where Arie looked scared that he might lose me, and I knew his recent lapse in memory haunted him more than he was willing to tell me.
“I want to memorize the swell of your breast.” Arie cupped one and he brushed a fingertip over my nipple, which pebbled in response.
He did the same with my other breast. I wanted to arch off the bed and press them into his palms even more, but I resisted the urge. Arie found the button on my jeans and unfastened it, sliding the zipper down. He tugged them down my silky legs and I could hear them fall off the bed somewhere to my right. I wanted to peek at him through my lashes, but I didn’t dare. Although I loved how playing with blindfolds or making me control the urge to open my eyes supercharged every touch, I was disappointed that I couldn’t look into his eyes and see the way I looked to him reflected there. I’d never really felt pretty before, but Arie made me see myself in a whole different light. I let my inhibitions fly when his skillful touch had taken me places I’d never known existed.
He gripped my hip and dug his fingers into the plump flesh of my backside. “I want to memorize the curve of your hip.”
I moaned when he planted a line of kisses across my other hip and stopped shy of my pussy, which ached with need to feel him.
Arie leaned up and his hair brushed against the top of my thigh, which tickled in the most sensual way imaginable.
“I want to memorize the shape of your face and how it looks right now.” He kissed my closed eyelids, my cheeks, my chin, and my forehead. It was both sweet and sexy at the same time. “So incredibly beautiful.”
“Please, Arie…”
I needed to feel him inside of me. I didn’t know if he was afraid of losing his faculties and that’s what drove the sweet frenzy that made heat pool between my legs, but he’d never felt so desperate or frenetic. His kisses drove me wild. He’d barely touched me, and yet the kisses that whispered promises across my skin could almost drive me over the edge. If his head would just dip a little lower…
“Shhh. Let me enjoy your body. I want to languish in it like a man lost in a desert who’s found an oasis.”
Because he doesn’t want to find out he’s lost his mind and that it’s really a mirage.
I pushed the thought aside as Arie kissed his way across my stomach. Traveling south past my navel, he paused, and I opened my eyes.
He was grinning up at me. “I knew you couldn’t do it.”
“Do what?”
“Keep your eyes closed. But I want you to watch me eat you out.”
My fists clenched the bedding beneath me. I’d never had anyone who could turn me on just with their words. I knew then if I ever lost Arie, if the only words I heard from those lips were some distant memory of a woman I looked like, it would break me. His eyes locked with mine before he bent his head and nipped at my clit. Tiny, teasing flicks drove my hips off the bed, and then his tongue was inside of me lapping at my juices. I gripped his shoulders. Oh, God. I was going to come if he kept it up.
“I’m getting close…” I whispered. “Please, Arie, I need to feel you inside of me.”
I wanted to feel that connection that meant so much more to me than our incredibly hot chemistry. That was the moment I realized that fast or slow, public or private, he’d touched my soul and stolen a little piece every time he took me. Oh, yes, he’d already taken me, taken my heart, and taken me beyond everything I thought I knew about love. And then the bed shifted and I watched as he unzipped and kicked off his jeans. I swallowed. He moved above me and then he was inside of me. Another piece of me…gone.
I closed my eyes.
“No, I want you to look at me.”
So I did. His eyes reminded me of winter, but right now it was like the snow was melting.
“I want to memorize how you feel when I’m inside of you.”
Our hips rocked together, slowly at first, and then the rhythm picked up. “Arie, I…”
But I couldn’t talk. All I could do was feel our bodies locked together and the sensations that began to knot at my core. His hips urged me on, and I wrapped my
legs around his waist, pulling him into me, deepening his stroke. My hips bucked wildly as our bodies became one, our souls became one. In that moment time stood still; the world faded away. A fine sheen of sweat glistened between our bodies as we crashed into one another.
“I want to memorize how crazy you make me. How fucking hot you are wrapped around me,” Arie said, his voice thick with desire.
My heels pressed against his back, taking him deeper with each thrust, and I knew it wouldn’t be long until I felt that knot building at my core explode into a million pieces. The whole time, his eyes never left mine. He reached down to brush the side of my face with his fingertips. He caressed my face the way he’d touched the rest of my body, as if he were memorizing it, creating a mental map of my curves to remember. My throat tightened from the emotional thought that flitted through my mind: that he was making love like this might be the last time we ever would. Synapses fired, the earth moved, or for all I knew it didn’t even exist anymore, as I clenched and pulsed around him. My orgasm rocketed through me and then it took him over the edge.
“God, Holly. Do you even know what you fucking do to me?”
-I have a pretty good idea.-
Telepathy was about all I could manage as he continued to piston his hips, spilling inside of me. I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck. Arie collapsed on top of me, and we stayed that way for quite a long time. Neither one of us wanted to move, and I enjoyed being trapped under his weight. It felt like a cocoon, wrapping me into a private world where he and I in this bed were the only things left.
-I love you, Holly-
“I love you too.”
Then he rolled off of me and propped himself up on his elbow. “You mean everything to me. You’re my whole world.”
I smiled. “When this is over we should go somewhere, just the two of us.”
“Where?”
“I don’t care. I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s with you. You know I’ve never really been anywhere.”
“I do. That’s why I want you to pick.”
I laughed. “But there are so many amazing places that I want to visit. Do you know how hard it’ll be to pick just one?”