by A. C. James
I stepped through the beads to find Toren pacing back and forth, clutching his cell phone.
“Hey…”
He stopped pacing and turned toward me. I wasn’t sure there was a plane big enough to contain the intense masculinity standing in Rue’s tiny shop. Toren seemed larger than life, but I found that I was grateful to have his help. Anything could happen, and Daeveena had come here with that were-shifter boyfriend of hers. I’d never be able to take him if I had to; but Toren and Arie, on the other hand, well, they could handle him.
“Rue’s coming with us. We might need her to do another locator spell. Make sure you book her a seat.”
Toren nodded. “You should go back to the loft and pack a bag. I imagine I might be a while. Is it that hard to get a human being on the phone?”
I couldn’t help smiling. “That’s a tall order. I’ll go tell Rue to pack too. What about you?”
“Already am. I’m always packed.” He paused. “I left my duffle by the pull-out.”
It reminded me of what Arie had said about his brother—that he never stuck around. I wondered if he’d stay once all this was over, or if he’d take off again. It made me sad that the two of them were family but they couldn’t seem to get along. I was lucky to find an adoptive family to take me in; most people only wanted the young ones that still had a sparkle in their eyes. I wanted to tell him that he should work it out with his brother after everything, but as he continued to pace back and forth impatiently, it seemed like the time to say that had passed. Instead I nodded again and returned to find Rue still sipping her tea, her expression serene, just as it always was. I wished I had an ounce of that serenity. I sat in the cold, metal folding chair across from her and found that being in her presence actually did help me compose my thoughts.
“Rue?”
She simply waited for me to continue.
“What if we get there and we can’t find her? Or what if we do and she doesn’t want to help us?”
“No sense in worrying about what-ifs when what’s going to happen will anyway. It always does.” She squeezed my hand across the table. “We’re not even there, so it’s not time to worry, at least not yet.”
I wasn’t sure if she meant the physical destination where we were headed, New York, or if she meant something deeper, but it didn’t matter because either way it was the same.
I pulled my hand away and tried to smile, but it was weak. “I’m going to head over to the loft and pack a bag. I’ll be back in a bit. You should pack something too.”
“I travel pretty light, but I’ll put something together in a hurry. I can probably fit everything I need in a carry-on.”
Rue still sat in her blue robe and nightgown, since we’d woken her from the dead of sleep. Honestly, I couldn’t imagine her hurrying with anything, because she was the epitome of tranquility.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” I bent to wrap my arms around her slender frame and gave her a quick hug before heading toward the front of the store.
I passed Toren on the way out and heard him asking for a supervisor, and yes he would hold, but he didn’t have to be happy about it. Something about the seating arrangements.
-Holly, don’t stop at the club without me.-
Without turning I nodded that I’d heard him and kept on going. I knew what he really meant was not to be alone with Arie. He really didn’t need to tell me that. Arie’s hands wrapped around my neck and the vision I’d had of him with his ex, sailing across the vast and endless blue, still remained fresh in my mind, like a wound that hadn’t scabbed over. I wanted to believe that if Arie remembered me we’d be able to pick up right where we’d left off, but I didn’t know if I had it in me. It would take a lot to trust him again. Even though I knew it wasn’t his fault, I could still feel those strong fingers squeezing my throat.
The memory served as an invisible reminder that you didn’t have to have a mark anywhere on you to be truly hurt. Sometimes the emotional wounds ran deeper than the ones you could see. I blared an alternative station loudly as I drove back to the loft, thinking that for the first time in a long time I’d let myself get close to someone and now I might lose them. So I let myself get lost in the harsh rhythm and angry lyrics that matched my mood. I really didn’t mean to be so bitter, but it seemed that I’d always had things ripped away from me before I ever really got a chance to enjoy having them—my mother, my grandmother, and now even Arie. Damn if it wasn’t a punch to the gut. Nothing lasts forever.
* * *
I couldn’t help smiling to myself as I packed a bag for our trip to New York. Out of habit I almost started to give a shirt the usual sniff test to see if it should be packed, but I no longer needed to do that since Arie had our laundry sent out, and I’d graduated from the quarter washing machines at Suds over on the South Side. Still, it made me think of my old apartment, and the time Arie had watched my unorthodox packing methods with the utmost amusement.
The simultaneous ringing and buzzing of my cell phone jarred me from my thoughts. My nose wrinkled as I regarded the name that flashed across the screen: Elizabeth Ellis calling…
With a sigh I slid the touch screen and answered, “Hey.”
She always had impeccable timing, and it was always bad. You didn’t need the Sight when you had the kind of motherly instincts she had, and though I loved my adoptive mother dearly I really wished her intuition wasn’t quite so astute.
“Hey, you. How’s it going?”
“I’m in the middle of packing.”
Shit.
I bit my lower lip. I’d said that in hopes that I’d get her off the phone, but that only opened the door to more questions and I hadn’t realized it until it was too late to take it back.
“Packing?”
“Just a little trip.”
“Oh? Where are you going?”
“I’m going to New York with some friends.”
“That sounds like fun. A weekend trip? Are you going with Trina?”
“No, it’s no one that you’ve met.”
“Hmmm. Well, be careful, okay?”
I smiled. Always protective. “I will.”
“When will you be back?”
How on earth was I supposed to answer that? I had no idea, and all I knew was that I would stay in New York for as long as I had to. As long as it took to get Arie back. But I could hardly tell her that without setting off gigantic alarm bells, sirens, and whistles. She didn’t even know who Arie was, so I tried to avoid his name in any answer that I gave her. It would only open the door to more questions that I didn’t have time to answer.
“I fly out tomorrow, and I’ll be back in a week,” I lied.
“Call me when you get home.”
Her voice sounded soft. I’d have to plan a trip soon and go visit her, despite the sandy beaches and ample sun that I disliked despite my bloodstone ring that protected me from the deadly heat. I hadn’t seen her since I’d turned, and didn’t want to deal with her scrutinizing my pasty complexion.
“I’ll call you as soon as I get home. Promise.”
“Holly, I miss you.”
I could hear something else in her voice, something unspoken that really said, ‘I miss you and I know that there’s something you’re not telling me.’ I’d always been open with her. No secrets. Brevity wasn’t how our phone conversations usually went. After forty-five minutes we were usually still gushing over every little detail. But that hadn’t been the case in the past several months, since I’d started seeing Arie. And since you’ve become a vampire. It killed me that I couldn’t tell her the truth, and it killed me even more that she knew it.
“I miss you too. I’ve got to go. I have to finish packing.”
“Okay, bye, Holl.”
She was the only one that ever shortened my name, but I never minded because whenever she said it I could practically hear her smiling through the phone. When she said it now it sounded sad.
“Bye.”
There was no time to worry abou
t Elizabeth; I needed to finish packing. Just the bare necessities—a few pairs of jeans, cargo pants, some t-shirts, and two extra pairs of underwear got thrown into the bag. I tossed a case with toiletries in along with the rest. A pair of comfortable sneakers, good for walking, went on the very top of the bag.
I’m missing something.
I checked the bathroom to see if there was anything that I’d forgotten, but figured I could always pick up whatever I’d missed. And I’m sure there was at least one thing. My mind flitted in a million different directions.
My ring.
My throat clenched again. I took the engagement ring from the vanity, and then I unclasped the locket I always wore from my neck. I placed the ring on the chain and tucked it into my shirt so that it wouldn’t draw attention.
I made a mental note that if things ever got back to normal, I’d have to rectify the fact that Elizabeth didn’t know Arie. Maybe after a vacation with just the two of us, we could visit her. I’d never brought anyone home before, and it would mean the world to her. My stomach twisted just thinking about the endless possibilities that waited for us in New York. I zipped the bag and flopped onto the bed next to it. Lying there, staring at the ceiling, my stomach was in knots. All I wanted was for this to be over. I pinched my arm as hard as I could to keep from crying. There was no one there to see me get weepy, but I was afraid if I started I just wouldn’t stop. And one thing I truly hated was to feel weak. I simply didn’t have time for weakness. I was just about to get up when I heard the door to the loft open and bang shut.
What in the world?
The clicking sound of stilettos echoed through the living room, and then was a second set of footsteps that sounded more muted. I hopped off the bed and headed for the stairs to find out who was in the loft. I could’ve sworn I’d locked the door, but maybe I’d been in such a rush to pack that I didn’t. My heart thudded against my chest, and for some reason my skin prickled like it did when I was about to be thrown into a vision. Except the vision never came.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs Arie stood next to Tessa. He looked terribly surly, and he had a fat lip and a black eye to boot. Of course, I imagined it would be gone in an hour, but that didn’t explain how or why he’d obviously got into a scuffle at HFC. Tessa appeared to be just barely containing her temper.
“Mind telling me the meaning of this?” I asked as I looked back and forth between the both of them and waved my hand at Arie’s injuries.
Tessa sighed. “I think Toren is going to have to watch this one until we can figure out what’s going on with him. He’s really not himself.”
“Arie? What happened?”
He didn’t answer me. Instead he looked out the wall of glass that led out to the balcony overlooking the Chicago River.
“He got into a fight at the club,” Tessa said.
“I can see that. Why?” I asked, my question directed at Arie.
He only said one thing.
“Hungry.”
Chapter 11
“Hungry?” I asked.
I wanted to believe that I hadn’t heard him correctly, but I knew that I had and it broke my heart that he’d lost control. My only hope had been that he hadn’t completely lost it and done something you couldn’t take back. I didn’t know if I could handle it if he had.
He smiled, cold and hard. “Delicious. Damn bouncer pulled me off.”
“It was a good thing too, otherwise that girl would be dead,” Tessa said.
Relief flooded through me—followed by panic.
“Will you stay with me? I have to call Toren and tell him to come to the loft.”
“I already did,” Tessa said. “He should be here in a half hour.”
“I wonder what time our flight is,” I mused aloud.
“Nine-fifteen,” Tessa said. “Why don’t you go try and get some rest? I’ll stay with Arie until Toren and Rue get here.”
Arie stood looking out over the river and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. All I knew was that I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him. He seemed so far away. So different than the man I’d fallen in love with, I couldn’t bear to even look at him. I loved him, but I couldn’t look at him.
So even though I doubted I’d be able to fall asleep, I agreed with her just so I could retreat to the bedroom and curl into a fetal position while I tried not to ball my eyes out. “Yeah, okay.”
I started to turn away. “Tessa?”
“Yeah…”
“Thank you.”
With that I turned and walked up the stairs, then curled under the covers, burying myself under the down comforter and pretending I was drifting on a cloud. I’m not sure how long I’d been lying there when I heard the door open from down below. The door closed and Rue was talking, but there was something else that gave me the sense that Tessa and Toren were having a telepathic conversation. I didn’t have the energy to think about them. Let them figure out their own issues. All I wanted was Arie curled around my body, tucking me under his arm. I closed my eyes and there were footsteps on the stairs; the bed shifted. The door downstairs closed again and I imagined that had been Tessa leaving.
I opened my eyes and Rue was sitting on the edge of the bed. Her soft curls fell around her shoulders, their blonde mass giving me the impression of a halo, albeit an unruly one. She reached out and put her hand on my arm. “Are you finished packing? Do you need some help?”
“Yeah, I’m done.”
“Toren is going to take the chair, and Arie has the pull-out downstairs. So it looks like we’re roommates,” she said, her gentle smile showing her laugh lines. “Move over.”
I laughed and scooted to the other side of the bed, making room for Rue. “You don’t snore, do you?” I asked.
“Only if I’ve had too much to drink, and while I think today calls for a few shots we have to be to the airport by quarter after eight if we’re going to make our flight.”
I’d never seen Rue drink, and I couldn’t tell whether she was joking. I couldn’t picture her doing shots.
“Rue, I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I’m glad you did. You can always come to me, no matter what.”
I smiled. Rue reminded me in so many ways of Elizabeth. Neither of them had children and I suppose I filled that void. They both would have made wonderful mothers and had a natural instinct that didn’t come to everyone. Mothering was in their bones.
“Is Jen going to open the shop while you’re gone?” I asked.
Rue smiled. “Yes. Jen is actually my niece. She’s my sister’s daughter. She’ll watch over it while I’m away.”
“Is she…”
“A witch?”
I nodded.
“She has a knack for it, unlike my sister. It seems to skip in my family, sometimes entire generations. Or that’s what they say. But I think it’s that my sister never kept the traditions or believed in them. If you don’t believe there is magic, then there won’t be.”
I worried my lower lip with my teeth. “Rue, can I ask you something?”
“Hmmm.”
“Do you ever regret not being able to have any kids of your own?”
Rue paused for a moment. “Oh, I have Jen and I have you. I used to have regrets, but there was a time I was sitting with one of those regrets, really giving it a lot of thought while drinking a cup of tea, and I spilled that tea—tipped the cup over the saucer and it poured clear across the table. I was just about to start crying nostalgically before I knocked it over. There was a bit of silliness to it then because I remembered that old saying about crying over spilt milk. Then I thought, ‘What about tea?’ and started laughing my head off. You always have to remember to laugh.”
We were both curled on our sides in my and Arie’s ginormous king-size bed, facing one another as we whispered. Talking to Rue always made me feel better, no matter what the circumstances were—psychotic vampires, lethal poisons, or demonic treachery.
Rue smiled. “Lots of opportunities to practice.”
I rolled onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. “Do you think we’ll be able to find Daeveena tomorrow?”
“I certainly hope so, because Arie is deteriorating and there are some things you can’t come back from. That could happen, you know, and it’s something to keep in mind. Not in the sense that you should be worrying about it now, but you should prepare yourself. Demon magic is beyond wicked, and you have to realize it might get to a point that when we find her, there’s just nothing left to fix.”
I met her eyes. Her blonde curls spilled across Arie’s pillowcase, and the seriousness of her tone made me realize she wasn’t saying this to make me upset. No, it was meant to prepare me for a possibility that I wasn’t ready to face.
“I know,” I admitted. “I’d thought of that, but I won’t agonize over it until it’s something to agonize about.”
Rue’s eyes widened. I followed her gaze, which had dropped several centimeters from my eyes to my neck. The necklace that I’d added Arie’s engagement ring to had fallen out of the top of my shirt and now dangled within her view. I pressed my finger to my lips in a shushing motion and then pointed down.
“So Toren is bunking with Arie,” I said. “Should be interesting.”
“Yes, I absolutely agree with you and understand completely.”
I tucked the necklace back into my shirt and mouthed the words ‘thank you.’ Thankfully Rue was as sharp as a tack, very perceptive. Otherwise I’d have to deal with Toren, and I wasn’t ready to admit to anyone that Arie had popped the question before his memory loss. Still, the weight of the ring on the chain around my neck made me feel like I wasn’t giving up. I would fight for Arie even if he couldn’t remember what we had, and that it was worth fighting for.
* * *
We were sitting at Chicago O’Hare International Airport, and I imagined that we’d be boarding soon. We’d barely made it to our gate after Toren’s antics almost resulted in security patting him down. His witty personality didn’t win him any favors with the TSA. He’d sat there smirking at me, looking very pleased with himself until I stuck my ear buds in and started the playlist on my cell phone.