by Barry Solway
More gurgling. Another crashing sound.
Kathor spoke again, but seemed to have regained some amount of calm. “Clean this up. Freeze the remnant in case we need it for future research.”
“Yes, sir,” Anna said. It sounded like she was right next to Mel. A few minutes passed, filled with the sound of Anna breathing. Not just breathing; Mel realized Anna was sobbing. The next words were right next to Mel’s ear.
“I’m so sorry, Mel. I want to fix this, but I can’t. Not yet. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Please, please forgive me.”
The chirp of a computer. Anna’s sobs. An icy feeling in her veins. The world slowly faded until Mel floated in blackness.
She was caught, she thought, halfway between being asleep and awake, a form of lucid dreaming. The sensation of the drugs filling her body had ceased and she could no longer hear Anna’s voice. Was she permanently blind? Had her entire face been burned away? She felt like she was a disembodied brain floating in a sea of random thoughts. There was the vague feeling of her body but she couldn’t move or make a sound.
***
Gasping, Mel drew in an eager lungful of air and her eyes flew open. Her entire body spasmed, every muscle fiber clenching at once, heart hammering in her chest. Like a switch being thrown, one moment there had been… what? Kathor yelling at Anna. Floating in darkness.
She was back in the same room as before. The same bed, the same machine. The deja vu was intense and eerie. Was this her life now? Getting herself half-killed and waking up in this god-forsaken hospital room with the same bracelet and same beeping computer? Her hand flew up to touch her face. She could see, so at least she wasn’t blind. Her face felt normal, no burnt shards of flesh hanging from exposed bone. She blinked in surprise at how morbid that thought had been. But she was really getting tired of being beaten, stabbed and blown up. She sank back in the bed. The last time, she had wanted to jump up and run around, and she felt that same buzzy feeling again. Definitely a side effect of the healing treatment. She felt amazing, the best she had felt since… well, last week.
But she wasn’t so eager to jump out of bed this time. They would come soon enough and put her back in training. For now, she would rest. She realized how normal it had all become. Shooting targets, learning about alien culture, learning the best way to clear a building when armed with two pistols. But it wasn’t normal. Being stabbed wasn’t normal. Being blown up wasn’t normal. She had almost forgotten her intention to escape, had fallen into a mental trap of going along with the routine.
But now she had two advantages. One was the discovery Evan made about the translators. And then there was what she had overheard. She had thought it was a dream, but she no longer believed that. Anna and Kathor had been talking during the healing process and somehow she had been awake enough to hear it. Kathor had been angry because she almost died. He wanted her for something. Anna had hinted at that, but hearing Kathor’s anger made it sink in. Somehow, without her, all of his plans would be ruined. That gave her leverage. She wasn’t sure what she could do with it yet, but there was a reason she had focused on the strategy and tactics of the games, had watched countless hours of videos of old games. Because the gauntlets were just a distraction.
There was another game going on, there on the ship, with her and her friends on one side and Kathor on the other. That was the game she was training for, and it was the game she was intent on winning.
***
Anna and Kathor eventually came for her, much like last time. Kathor’s face was its normal stony mask, but Mel thought the wideness of his eyes was an indication of anger. She had certainly seen that expression before.
Anna looked tired. She turned slightly at one point and Mel could see bright red streaks on the side of her neck. Kathor had choked her. Mel remembered that the healing process took a few days last time, and Anna’s marks looked fresh. They must have been arguing right before she woke up.
Neither Kathor nor Anna talked. Finally, Kathor left and Anna helped Mel out of the bed and back to her room. Mel wished she could talk to Anna, but she had to be careful about what she said with the translators in place.
Everyone was out training again. Mel was glad for it; she was tired of being the center of attention. She hoped Evan was okay. Imagining what it was like for him to see the bomb blow up in her face made her laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Anna asked.
Mel looked at her with a sheepish grin. “It’s just so… absurd. To be nearly beaten to death, then healed, then stabbed, then healed, then to have my face blown off. Maybe I’m going crazy. I was just thinking of what it must be like for Evan, but personally, I’m finding it hilarious.”
Anna’s face twitched at the mention of Evan. “Evan stopped eating and wouldn’t train. I had to drug him to get him to act like a normal human being.”
Mel nodded thoughtfully. “Had to, hmm?”
Anna sighed. “Yes. It was for his own good. The training will help him survive the gauntlets. And if he’s useless to Kathor, there’s no need for him to be here. Kathor wasn’t happy about the explosion.”
“Oh, Anna, I’m sorry. I know this is tough for you. I forget that other people have it hard, too.” Mel reached up and touched the red marks on Anna’s neck. “Kathor choked you, didn’t he? He said he would replace you. He didn’t torture you, did he?”
Anna stepped back, away from Mel’s touch, her eyes wide. “How did you know that?”
Mel imagined she looked a little smug. It was nice to know something that Anna and Kathor didn’t. “I almost don’t want to tell you. But I heard it. I thought it was right after the accident, because I couldn’t see anything and it kind of felt like half my face was missing. But that can’t be right. I guess it was right before I woke up. I heard some slamming, and the way you talked made it sound like you’d been choked.”
Anna’s mouth opened but she didn’t say anything.
“Is everything okay?” Mel asked.
Anna shook her head. “Of course. I’m just… surprised, that’s all. You were under heavy medication; you shouldn’t have been conscious.”
Mel shrugged. “I was plenty conscious, although I couldn’t move. Don’t worry; like I said, I didn’t feel any pain, really. I’m glad he didn’t hurt you any worse.”
Anna nodded briefly, then stared at Mel. “How much did you hear?”
Mel didn’t want to admit to Anna that she had overheard the part where Kathor needed Mel. Information was a weapon and she thought it best to keep that hidden for now. She tried to remember if the choking had happened before or after that part.
“Nothing, really,” she finally said, as casually as she could. “Just Kathor yelling at you for being an idiot and then some kind of slam. Like you were thrown across the room.”
Anna’s gaze had become intense and Mel shifted uncomfortably. “You heard him call me an idiot and then me being thrown. How about what was in-between?”
Mel shook her head. “No, not really. Maybe some mumbling or gurgling or something. Something about Evan, I guess.”
Anna knew she was lying. Mel could see it on her face. Anna took a small breath. “Kathor thinks you’re important, you know.”
Mel shrugged. “I guess that’s good news for me. He keeps bringing me back from the dead, anyway.”
“Yes, he does,” Anna said quietly. “I’m a bit surprised you aren’t more curious as to why.”
She couldn’t figure out what Anna was getting at. Certainly, Anna knew she was lying about what she overheard. It was these damn translators spying on them. They couldn’t just have a normal conversation, but had to dance around everything.
Mel thought furiously. “I guess it would be nice to know, but I’m not sure I can trust anything you or Kathor say. I imagine whatever grand scheme Kathor has planned, I’ll figure it out eventually. Probably right before I’m killed for real.”
Anna relaxed and nodded, but Mel thought she was almost nodding to some kind of inner d
ialogue with herself. “You might want to get some rest. Everyone is on edge since you were injured. That was four days ago. You’ll be back in training tomorrow, but there may be some… drama.”
“You know all about the drama. I’m sure Jeff will be thrilled to see me.” She meant it as a joke, but Anna shook her head.
“Maybe,” she replied. “He nearly killed Evan that night, beat him pretty badly before Gorgeous stopped him. Jeff is very goal-oriented. He’s adjusted to his new role, but he’s holding on to it very tightly. He doesn’t deal well with changes. Be careful with him.”
Mel shrugged again. They all had good reasons to be angry, so she wasn’t going to hold that against Jeff. “Thanks for the relationship advice. I guess I’ll go lie down for a bit.”
Heading into her room, she threw herself on the bed and covered her eyes with her arm, her thoughts drifting back to Kathor. She hadn’t really had time to think about what she had heard before the incident with Evan. Kathor had a family, two children and a wife. At least one was a daughter. And he was sick, apparently even dying. It shouldn’t make a difference, but knowing these things about Kathor made him more real. The question had come up in her mind a few times—would she kill Kathor if she had the chance? She thought the answer was yes. Did this new revelation change that? It would definitely make her feel worse afterwards.
Replaying the scene in her head, she considered whether there was any other information that could be used to her advantage. She thought Kathor was lying to his wife about the humans. He had played it off to his kids as if he were a noble scientist helping the wild savages. But his wife had expressed confusion about how the research on the humans would help his illness, and he had said it was classified. Which implied she thought he was working for a government agency. Mel had seen no sign that Kathor was working for anyone but himself. So he might be lying to her about where he worked and what he was working on. There was something else tickling at the back of her mind, something Anna and Kathor had talked about. But Mel couldn’t get over the idea that Kathor had a wife, and she drifted off while wondering if his wife would approve of the way he was sending the humans to their deaths for entertainment.
Chapter 26
Even with Anna’s warning, she was completely unprepared to meet Evan. Glassy eyes stared past her and his mouth hung slackly as he stumbled behind Riley. Evan touched Mel’s face and poked her arms, then fell into bouts of tears. She suspected he thought she was an hallucination.
Jon’s lip curled in a small snarl when he saw her. “Back from the dead again. Must be nice to be the teacher’s pet.” Mel ignored him and Jon immediately went to his room and closed himself in.
Beats, Riley and Gorgeous were clearly happy to see she was okay. Mirage waddled in and froze for a long moment. With a shudder, her form settled and she started swaying back and forth, then up and down, as if dancing to a song only she could hear. Apparently, she spotted Mel, because she ambled slowly over as she continued swaying from side to side.
“How lovely to see you, Mel! And you didn’t die again. Good job! You’re pretty without hair, you know.” Mirage turned in a circle, then shuffled away, still dancing to her own music. Mel didn’t even know how to begin to respond to that.
Sharon and Jeff came in last, with Sharon giggling at something Jeff had said and hanging on his arm. Her eyes grew big when she saw Mel. Glancing between Mel and Jeff, she finally gave Mel an awkward hug and then practically ran back to her room.
Jeff stepped forward, reaching up to touch her hair. He ran his fingers through it, but it took Mel a moment to realize it wasn’t an act of affection. Jeff almost seemed confused, as if he was testing to see if she was real. His eyes finally snapped up to look at hers.
“You look great,” he said, warily.
“I feel pretty good.”
“Must be nice.”
Her eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Jeff shook his head. “Nothing. I mean, just that I’ve gotten beaten up a little over the last few weeks, in the training. We all have. It would be nice if they shared whatever they’re doing to you.”
Mel crossed her arms. “Maybe you should try setting your head on fire. It’s a real blast, if you know what I mean.”
Jeff blinked, then laughed awkwardly. “Why are you angry at me? Look, I’m sorry. What’s happened to you has been horrible. I didn’t mean anything. I’m glad that you’ve been healed and that your head isn’t on fire anymore. Really.”
Mel looked away, her face a mask while emotions whirled within her. She was angry at Jeff, and at Jon and Sharon. And even Anna. They all seemed to think this was so great, that she was being healed over and over, coming back from terrible injuries. But they forgot the injuries themselves. That horrible beating on the first day of training came flooding back. She still flinched whenever someone waved one of the sticks too close to her. The pulsing in her shoulder came back at odd times, where the knife had stabbed her. The punch from Wicked, smashing into her face like a hammer, her head bouncing off the pavement. And a final memory—the smell of burning hair. That was a new one. There was a primal wrongness with the smell of burning hair. For a moment, she could feel the flames and acid eating away at her face, but she quickly closed her eyes and forced the thoughts away.
Shaking her head, she wiped tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t blaming you. It’s been a… a hard day.”
Jeff reached forward clumsily to hug her. Mel realized how desperately she needed a hug, how much she wanted someone to hold her. She leaned into him but Jeff’s body felt stiff, the hug forced.
Mel pulled back. “Is everything okay?”
Jeff smiled, but that looked forced too. Mel pulled back further. “What’s the matter?”
Jeff sighed and looked away from Mel. “It’s just… I don’t understand what they’re doing to you. After you got stabbed in the game, we thought you were dead. There was so much blood; it felt like I was swimming in it. I wake up at night dreaming about that, that you’re bleeding and I’m trying to stop the wound but I can’t. And the blood keeps pouring out of you until I drown in it. But the explosion. My god, Mel, you have no idea how that looked. I can’t imagine what it was like for you, but for the rest of us… you were on fire, half your head melted away. And you grabbed your head so your hands were on fire and you fell and were thrashing and screaming. It was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen. A hundred times worse than any horror film you can imagine. And there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t even touch you, even after Mirage came and put the fire out.”
Anna hadn’t mentioned any of that. Emotions warred inside of her. This is what she had wondered earlier, about Evan. But she hadn’t considered that it would affect everyone else too. The way she felt about Nick, that was how everyone was feeling about her. Only now it had happened twice. Or three times, counting the first beating.
Jeff pressed on. “But there’s another thing. I swear you were dead. When Mirage got off of you, you were breathing, but it was ugly and… I can’t describe it. But by the time Anna got there, you weren’t breathing. It was obvious. She just picked you up and ran out the door with you, leaving the rest of us standing there. Your… your hair was burned off. All of it. But it’s back now.”
“I’m fine now,” she said quietly.
“How?” The look in his eyes cut Mel to the bone. Confusion, a sense of his own lack of control. And underneath that, something worse.
“This isn’t my fault,” she said. She nearly choked on the words as tears welled up in her eyes. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”
Jeff’s eyes filled with pain. “I know. I’m sorry. I should be supporting you and I want to. I’m trying to. I just don’t… I don’t understand.”
Mel felt a strange sensation, of wanting to draw into herself and hide from whatever strange accusations Jeff’s words implied. But also of wanting that hug, the presence of someone who could accept her just as she was. Unexpectedly, she leaned
in towards Jeff, brushing her lips against his.
“Please, can we just sit together? I just need to be held,” she whispered.
Jeff didn’t respond at first and she pressed her lips harder against his. A moment later, she drew away with a look of despair.
Jeff shook his head. “I’m sorry. I can’t. Not right now. Maybe this whole idea of dating was a bad idea. There are no good restaurants around here, you know?” Mel barely registered Jeff’s attempt at a joke. He’s breaking up with me?!
Jeff grabbed her arm, a little roughly. “Look, I’m sorry. But it’s too hard to watch you get injured over and over and not be able to do anything. To not be able to save you. I didn’t realize it was going to be like this. It’s too painful. I do care about you, sometimes more than ever, but sometimes… I don’t know who you are.”
Mel wiped more tears away as she crawled back into herself. “You seem to know who Sharon is just fine.”
“I don’t care about Sharon. I guess she likes me, whatever. But you’ve been gone. You’ve spent half of the last two weeks in a hospital while the rest of us have been together training.” He held her hand. “It’s weird, but it’s easier for me to be with Sharon, because I don’t care about her the way I care about you. “
Mel yanked her hand away. “Oh, please! You’re hooking up with Sharon and trying to make it sound like you’re noble for liking her less than me? You can’t have it both ways. You can’t say you’re breaking up with me because you care about me too much! That makes no sense.”
“None of this makes sense. But it’s still true,” Jeff said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Mel’s mouth set in a straight line. It was odd, because she hadn’t even liked the idea of dating Jeff. But now she was furious he was breaking up with her.