“Let us be frank and call the el-elephant in the room what it is. You lo-lo-love him.”
The deepest of blushes filled her cheeks, but she felt profoundly relieved to hear someone else say it. “I am afraid I have had strong feelings for him for some time. But he has very clearly stated that he wants to be my best friend and nothing more.”
Mr. Harrison laughed slightly and asked, “He said that? Those exact words?”
“I am afraid so. He offered to help me find a husband. My disappointment was quite severe.”
Harrison made a noise that showed he was pondering what she had said. “Did he say anything else?”
She slowly shook her head, remembering the acute pain of his words. “He said he wants to be my best friend. He wants to help me find someone who will make me happy.”
“There has to b-b-be more.”
“I told him no one could take his place. It was the truth, or at least as close as I could come to telling him the truth. Is talking like this hurting your feelings? I know this might be difficult if you had thoughts about our future.”
“No need to worry about that. Clearly your heart is already engaged. I am not one to compete or fight for a lady. Perhaps that is why I am st-still a bach-bachelor. But back to what he said to you. What d-d-did he say after you said no one could take his place?”
She tried to remember. Her heart had been pounding so hard when she told Gavin no one could take his place that she could hardly recall his reply. Even now, trying to remember the discussion was bringing small beads of sweat to her brow. She took out her handkerchief and dabbed her face.
“Do you remember what he said?” Harrison prompted.
“He said, ‘If it were up to me, I would be the only man in your life.’”
Mr. Harrison pulled on the reins and brought the phaeton to a stop. He then turned to look at Grace. His kind eyes pulled up at the corners as a slow smile formed on his lips. Harrison said, “What part of that is confusing?”
“I do not take your meaning. He has always been the only man in my life; he wants things to stay the same.”
Mr. Harrison grinned slightly and patted her hand. He then took up the reins again and said, “I took you for an intelligent woman, Miss Iverson.”
“There is no need to insult me,” she retorted.
“You know as well as I that I did not intend to disparage you. Now, let us imagine that I said the same thing to you. If I said, ‘Miss Iverson, I wish t-to be the only m-ma-man in your life,’ what would you think?”
She hesitated and bit her lip. “I cannot say.”
“Yes, you can, Miss Iverson. If I can say it with my st-stut-stuttering, you can too. What would you think?”
A tiny seed of hope was building inside her. “You do not think . . . no . . .”
“Yes.”
“Really? You think he might wish to court me?”
“I think it is m-mo-more than that. I think he wishes to m-mar-marry you.”
Grace looked dumbfounded at Mr. Harrison. He looked over and laughed and then returned his gaze to driving his team. “I see that this is a welcome thought,” he chuckled.
“It is indeed. How do I tell him that I want to marry him too?”
“Now I am sure you are wise enough to answer that question. All I will say is that you should not do-doubt his intentions. The rest will all come n-nat-naturally to two people who value each other so much. If there is any way I can assist, let me know.”
They drove home in silence as her mind started to grasp this new revelation. Gavin wished to marry her? Could that possibly be true? She started to examine everything he had said and done over the last few days. It was as if she had put on spectacles that allowed things to be seen with the right perspective—the chess game, the music box, the kiss.
The seed of hope was taking root. His apology in the music room had pained her—she had interpreted it as regret. Her pride had been injured, and she had tried to close herself off. But Gavin knew her too well. It was beginning to make sense. He kissed her because he wanted to know how she really felt. No wonder it seemed almost scientific or calculated in nature.
All the dizzy fluttering of her heart during the kiss was nothing compared to what she felt now. She could only imagine how she would feel when he kissed her for real! She surprised herself when she giggled out loud. Mr. Harrison smiled back at her and patted her hand.
As they pulled up to the front of Willsing Manor, Gavin immediately appeared on the steps. He must have been watching for their return. He seemed a little nervous. He hid the anxiety well with some humorous comment about how long they had been gone and how Harrison didn’t have permission to whisk Grace away for the whole day. They all laughed about it, because it wasn’t even time for noon luncheon.
Harrison smiled at Grace mischievously, kissed her hand, and said, “I wish you every happiness. If I can be of any use, please ask.” As Gavin walked closer to them, Harrison dropped her hand and stepped back.
Grace replied to Harrison, “I have enjoyed this ride immensely. It was quite revealing. I hope we can do this again.”
“It wo-would be my pleasure.” Harrison bowed and turned to leave.
Gavin had taken possession of her arm by that point, and he was gently guiding her away. She looked up at him and smiled. His true feelings were clear in his eyes. She could see it now. How could she have been so blind? If she was going to put her trust in anyone, it would be him.
He guided her effortlessly up the stairs of the townhouse, and he did not trip or stumble at all. It felt right to wrap her arm around his. Each little look and mannerism helped build her confidence. She had never felt so inspired by His Grace.
CHAPTER 12
Gavin led Grace into the foyer. “Well, Gigi, how was your ride with Harrison?” Gavin forced himself to ask. He did not wish to hear it was good.
“It was good.”
He tried not to groan.
To need someone is to love someone. Be the friend she needs you to be. Show an interest in her suitors. “How delightful,” he muttered. Trying again to muster enthusiasm, he asked, “And what did you and Harrison talk about?” He braced himself for the answer.
“Actually we talk about your plans for marrying.”
He heard the mirth in her voice, and he looked down at her. “Indeed? And what shall be the plan? Am I to marry an heiress? Or a genteel woman of no status whom I will elevate with my title? Ooo, I know: a princess who is locked away in a dungeon!”
Grace’s laughter made him relax a great deal. He could always make her laugh, and it was very important to him. Grace finished taking off her bonnet and handed it along with her gloves to Robison. Grace announced, “Actually, Gavin, if you must know, I have resolved to find you a wife!”
“You have what?” Gavin asked. He heard Robison chuckle slightly as he walked away.
“You need a wife!” Grace said.
He scoffed and said, “You sound like my mother.”
A most unwelcome voice interrupted their private moment in the entryway. His mother said, “Who sounds like me and how shall I thank them?”
Grace walked over to the duchess and kissed her cheek. “I apparently sounded like you when I told him he needs to find a wife.”
“And so he does! If that is all it takes to sound like me, then I must be the most thoroughly imitated lady of the ton! And I so dearly wished to be original. But I shall accept being only average in exchange for more grandchildren. Gavin does not know what is good for him.”
“Mother, please. Grace was only offering her matchmaking skills.”
“And what good will that do? I have tried to find you a match for years, but I have gotten nowhere! Are not my skills just as valuable? If you only knew how many letters I have written on your behalf, Gavin, inventing ways for you to meet eligible ladies.”
Grace eyed Gavin knowingly and said, “Speaking of which, I believe Gavin has a few burning questions for you on that subject.”
&
nbsp; “I do?”
“You do?” His mother echoed. “On the subject of meeting eligible young ladies? Well, it is about time.”
He was perplexed. What did he need to ask his mother? And why was Grace acting like he should know what it was about?
“Well, ask her, Gavin. Ask her what we have meant to ask her for the last few days.”
He tried to read what Grace was playing at. She was teasing him, obviously, but what question was she suggesting? He stared at her and said, “Yes, well . . . there are several questions that we have . . . but I will let Gigi begin. Ladies first.”
Grace smirked at his ploy to not play the fool and turned to face the duchess. “Actually, Your Grace,” she said calmly as she could, “we recently discovered that someone intercepted the letters Gavin and I wrote to each other while he was at Eton. We were wondering if you were aware of it.”
His mother took a deep breath. It was clear she was indeed aware of it. “Mother,” Gavin asked, “did you know about this?”
“I . . .” The duchess seemed at a loss for words. Well, that’s a first, thought Gavin. “This is not an appropriate discussion for the foyer,” she eventually stammered. “And I am feeling unwell. I may need a minute to compose myself.”
“Of course, Mother,” Gavin soothed. “Perhaps we can meet in my study when you are ready.”
The duchess agreed, and Gavin ordered tea, cucumber sandwiches, and biscuits to be brought in. As Grace followed him to the study, he whispered, “Could you not have given me a little hint about what my burning question was?”
“How could I? You do not know yourself well enough to ask the right questions.”
He opened the study door and motioned her in. “And what are the right questions, Gigi? Has Harrison enlightened you so much that you have all the answers?”
“I received some answers, but I still have a few more questions. However, I believe that will be quickly remedied,” she teased. But her smile soon turned into a worried frown. “Your poor mother, Gavin! I think we can assume that she knows something from her response.”
“Yes. She knows something, and I am anxious to hear about it.”
They spoke for a few more minutes, and then Gavin ushered her to the sofa near the fire. He stoked the fire a bit and was soon graced with his mother’s presence.
The duchess chose the high-back chair instead of the sofa by Grace, which pleased him greatly since that meant he could sit next to Grace. He flipped his tailcoat out and sat down dramatically. “So, tell me, Mother, what secrets do you keep?”
Grace was a little more diplomatic and added, “It was probably wrong of us to use Eliza to traffic our letters to each other. I hope she did not get into trouble.”
“Well, it is a rather complicated story. Perhaps now that my husband has passed, there is no reason for secrecy. Corbin was a better man than you thought he was, Gavin. He had some unbalanced priorities, but overall he had a good heart. He wanted what was best for his children. Unfortunately he thought gaining money, influence, and status was the best way to give you everything you needed.”
Gavin frowned. “What I needed was my best friend,” he said. “And Grace needed me too, especially when her father died.”
“I know, but so much happened in such a short amount of time. I will start by saying that Mr. Moser felt obligated to reveal what happened at the dance lesson. Forgive me, Grace. I see you are getting flushed.”
“It is the heat from the fire,” Grace faltered.
“Yes, I suppose so,” the duchess said graciously. “If Mr. Moser had come to me directly, I might have been able to dissuade Corbin from acting so heavy-handedly. I am sorry, Grace, but you were around our family often enough to know how much my husband valued his title. As much as it pains me to say it, he did not wish for any kind of alliance with your family.
“As the years went by, your close friendship became an issue. I saw nothing wrong with it. You both brought out the best in each other. Grace kept Gavin’s head from exceeding its capacity, and Gavin helped Grace to stand and fight for what was important. Grace, my dear, you always seemed so hesitant to trust anyone. Whenever someone tried to get close to you, you put up a wall. Gavin was the only one you let in. I saw a relationship that produced good things.
“But because Mr. Moser went to your father first, I had little influence with what happened. My husband wasted no time in accelerating Gavin’s travel arrangements.”
Gavin said, “But, Mother, we never got to say goodbye.”
“It was planned that way, my dear. Your father insisted upon it. He also overheard you asking Eliza to forward all of Grace’s letters to you at school. This is where I agree with Corbin. You two should not have been writing to each other.”
Gavin thought it was rather odd that she did not mention how they should not have been kissing each other either but thought better of mentioning it.
“At that point, it was fairly simple to intercept the letters. Do not put any blame on Eliza. She never knew. Your father gave instructions that no letters were to be posted or delivered without his inspection. Then Grace’s father got influenza and died so suddenly. It was a busy three weeks for your mother, Grace. She had less than a month to get her house in order; your cousin was insistent that he inherit immediately. I met with her a few times during that period, and she hardly stopped writing directions to the solicitor in order to take tea with me. She was also determined to find positions for those servants that did not wish to serve under the new owner, and that took a great deal of time as well.
“The woman hardly grieved for her husband, but she was committed to not let her new station in life affect her three daughters. We appealed to Corbin to help set up a coming out for her daughters through me but . . .”
Gavin felt his heart lurch. There was obviously more to the story. “What happened? What did Father say?”
His mother looked at her hands, which she was wringing furiously. “I am afraid that Grace will be hurt by what I have to say.”
“Please do not distress yourself,” Grace said. “I already know that your husband did not approve of my friendship with Gavin.” Gavin couldn’t help but be amazed at her strength. While his mother was not looking, he put his hand on Grace’s and gave it a reassuring squeeze and then returned it to his own lap just as his mother looked up.
“I had already told your mother that I would be happy to sponsor you and your sisters,” the duchess continued. “She knew I had many more connections, especially now that she was a widow, and I did not think for one moment that Corbin would disapprove. We decided to unite and approach him together, but I soon saw that was a terrible decision.
“My husband was very vocal about how he would not take on any ‘charity cases’.” Gavin saw Grace flinch slightly out of the corner of his eye. “Not only did he refuse to let me sponsor her girls, but he told her that if any Iverson ever contacted our family again, then he would ensure that every family in the county knew that Grace had . . .”
“That Grace had what?” Gavin asked.
“Oh dear, I shall not ever find the strength to say it!”
Grace walked over to the duchess’s chair, knelt down, and wrapped her arms around her. Gavin hadn’t noticed that his mother had started to cry. After a minute, Grace pulled back slightly, put her hands on either side of the old woman’s face, and brushed away the old woman’s tears with her thumbs. “I do not blame you, Your Grace. And I am stronger than you might think. I will not wilt from the poor opinion of a single man.”
His mother reached up and covered Grace’s hand with her own. “You are such a good girl. You did not deserve it.”
Grace’s voice was calm and reassuring. “Most people do not deserve the ill treatment they receive from others. I will be well, no matter what your husband said about me.”
“I am so ashamed to say it! My own husband was so cruel!”
“Mother, what did Father threaten to say Grace had done?”
“He s
aid that he would tell everyone of our friends in society that Grace––this is harder than I thought––that Grace had seduced you.”
The silence in the air rolled in like an impending storm. So many thoughts were flooding him at once.
How could he have kissed her back then? He had risked her reputation and her sisters’ as well. If word had gotten out, none of them would ever have found a match. His father could have destroyed their entire future. Anger started to build. He stood and walked to the fireplace and leaned against the mantle to give himself more time to think before responding.
He heard his mother apologize profusely, and Grace readily forgave her and her husband, but he could not do so—not so easily. He tuned out for a few minutes to try to get ahold of his reaction. Not only was he angry at his father, but he was angry with himself. She was only fourteen! I could have ruined her with my overzealous impulses!
He heard Grace say something similar to the thoughts running through his mind. “He was only sixteen, Your Grace. He never intended to compromise me. The only people who know about that kiss are the three of us here, Mr. Moser, and your deceased husband. My sisters found matches without much difficulty, and I shall too.”
“I know you shall. That is why I was so determined to sponsor you this season. I had to make up for my husband’s harsh words to your dear mother. Oh, she was so strong! You would have been proud. When he threatened her, she very boldly said, ‘Your Grace, I shall not encourage any communication, but nor will I prevent it. It pains me that our lands have neighbored one another for generations and that our relationship has ended in this manner. As you know, my daughters and I will have limited funds to travel. We will not return to Sussex. But if, by chance, your conscience allows regret for today’s actions, we will always welcome our dear friends as guests.’ My heart just broke as she proudly stood, curtsied, and walked out with her head held high. I never saw or heard from her again. Grace, how can you possibly forgive me?”
“You have nothing to forgive. I am so sorry you had to find out about the kiss from Mr. Moser. It was just––”
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