The fallout with Gillian, which Lila hoped could be mended, but she was worried about it, constantly it seemed, all stemming from what started as a political dispute. Or more specifically a right to life debate. Lila hadn’t cared about such topics, not before she found faith––or faith found her? She maintained that she was pursued and who doesn’t love that? Lila liked to go on and on about how Jesus pursued her until he got her. Darcy was afraid to inquire more, but it all sounded fascinating and life-changing for her sister, who seemingly was a different person in a short time––enough so that Darcy wondered if Lila really had transformed into a completely different person than she had been. She sounded different. Her boy obsessed sister had grown up and become a Christian? Her mother had said most kids find drugs at college while Lila went the opposite direction.
The shower. What could they do which everyone would think of as fun, not cheesy, without everyone drinking and Lila left to live on Sobriety Island. Alcohol. Cross off. Maybe she wouldn’t breach etiquette if she had small bottles of wine for everyone prior the event? Like a warm-up. Everyone would have way more fun that way.
What games would they play? Flight schedule? She didn’t want to deal with her mother and her second guessing. Wow. That’s a long flight. Yes, but the layover in Denver made it seem much longer, as though she were flying to Madison Wisconsin from South Africa instead of Dallas.
Darcy kept vague on her phone calls with Lila–amp the surprise. She would have fun, but it was more fun if she didn’t know every little detail.
Surprises didn’t rank high with Lila.
The bachelorette party she and Gillian threw for Lila, two nights before the wedding, most of it last minute because Lila had maintained for the longest time she didn’t want a party but then she sort of changed her mind, and it had been a blast in the end, but the awkward silence and looks Lila had plastered to her face were unsettling–especially the planners and the bar’s staff. An outdoor event, on a building’s roof turned chic wine bar, they had it right at sunset, before most people got off work and it had been perfectly unexpected. Lila’s reaction became a go-to icebreaker.
“We can’t have…history repeating itself,” Lila had said more than once.
What did she mean? Was she referring to the bachelorette party? Or her twenty-first? She didn’t have any other surprise parties that Darcy could think of.
Darcy’s flight itinerary became another issue, because of when she would arrive and Lila was worried that she would not arrive in time. Did she really want to come that late? Weather could be a factor, when driving from the airport. What if she got stuck somewhere? Didn’t she want to fly in a day or two earlier, extend the visit?
Lila wasn’t loaded with paid time off because she needed mental health days throughout the year and she only got two weeks, which doubled as her sick time. And she needed a couple days for a girls’ weekend, what she thought of as an affordable vacation and meant not going away alone, which never sounded attractive enough to actually do it. Why go somewhere, surrounded by strangers, only to have no one you know, no one to talk to, so you can do what? Visit places alone? Eat out alone? No, thank you.
Darcy sent her flight schedule at least seven times to Lila. Maybe eight. Which airline? Frontier. Did she have a connecting flight? Blush. Face getting hot. Yes, she had to connect in Denver. Why didn’t she get a direct, non-stop flight? Because she never went anywhere and forgot about that little detail. Darcy insisted, “It is only a connection. Denver. Can’t be that bad.” Darcy saved herself 93 dollars each way, thank you very much. Does Lila know nothing of working and paying your own bills?
Between a pregnant sister losing her mind and a mother who would incessantly ask the same questions, it was debatable who was worse. Their mother made an art of complaining. Tossing out snarky comebacks gave Darcy fiendish pleasure.
The days, a blur, leading to the shower, were peppered with family challenges and helpful friends who didn’t want to do anything other than tell Darcy where to go, which was helpful. Then, everything was planned and most of it was paid for and non-refundable; a feature Darcy actually became thankful for, yet still the questions came like slow boiling anger in traffic. There was just no helping it.
While it wasn’t the same as high school, it felt close. Darcy was thankful for Monica. Monica didn’t pretend that staying home was a glamorous life like she were a trophy wife; getting waited on, lounging at Lake Pewaukee on a gorgeous boat like the ones they used to envy. Monica wasn’t all poopy diapers and overflowing trash cans like Darcy should feel sorry for her predicament.
“It’s not like I’m unhappy. But I want to work. I need interaction,” Monica had said, which made Darcy feel better. Amazing what two people could accomplish through instant messenger in all of five minutes.
Did Darcy want to be in the kitchen, pregnant and barefoot, contemplating baby names while trying to record her belly movement with her iPhone and wondering if that last shooting pain was a contraction? She didn’t know. It sounded sweet and fun but also complicated and messy, and Darcy liked having her space, but she also hated and loved living alone. Her space was always clean and no one messed it up but her.
Monica’s kids were her life and messes were the norm, clean the rare exception that lasted minutes at best. Were her two little over-photographed kids ugly? Was her little rural townhouse small enough that Darcy didn’t feel insecure?
Darcy wasn’t sure, but she normally felt insecure interacting with old friends who had grown up. Like Monica. Monica got married, family and had the income, support she wanted. Darcy hadn’t moved forward. Darcy moved away with her lame credentials, hoping distance from her childhood reputation, not that it was bad, hoping it would help have new scenery and she could focus on work. But moving away, even far away, didn’t move her forward. Darcy failed to grow up. Leave the nest, check. Grow up? Not quite. Darcy didn’t have the ideal career. No sassy Tesla. Not that any of her friends had those jobs, though she did have two old friends who were civil servants far from home, one was a cop, photographed in uniform with a classy city backdrop and the other was a firefighter and way too many selfies and workout related photos. And what the hell was up with him juicing kale all the freaking time? Did he eat nothing else?
Living in an apartment felt like a bigger college dorm, minus the roommates. Costs were cheaper, like getting the same drinks away from the stadium made it suddenly more affordable. Darcy wanted to post signs all over town on phone poles. MISSING: wow factor, call Darcy if found. You can have my 401k balance if found. Serious offers only.
Lila would soon enter parenthood where children and their activities were the glue of that secret society. Your child in your arms was your card entitling you to all privileges and benefits of membership. Your badge of honor. Instant membership, contained in those possibly stinky twenty pounds of sleeping or screaming humanity. Drooling. Definitely drooling. Or sucking her fingers in a way that was irritably gross and adorable. Where had they been? Darcy had a mostly lame job with limited upside. Dallas was nice, big, busy and full of untapped potential. But she wasn’t going after it. What held her back?
Darcy didn’t know. Could anyone in the world help her figure herself out?
She had a counselor who did a great job billing and collecting her payments in advance, but a C+ job helping her identify solutions. She was paying for a listener. Were her expectations set too high? She didn’t think so. A pot of gold sat on the other side of happy and she’d fucking find it, if it were the last thing she did.
“How do you feel about your shower plans? You think Lila will love it?” Monica had asked when they spoke over the phone.
“She better love it. She’s worried about details. This and that. She’s worried about birds in the background and shadows when we do pictures. So what if people squint in the sunlight. We can’t help that.”
“Yeah. I know. And it had to be on a Saturday morning, which made everything way more expensive, but at least I’m
not competing with a wedding that weekend because they had a cancellation, or so she said.”
Crying in the background pulled Monica away and a short struggle took place. “Sorry. Had to fight her off. She always wants my phone.” Monica said. Darcy found it all entertaining and wondered if Monica felt the same way. Were toddlers fighting for your iPhone cute only if you didn’t have kids?
Monica listened well and asked for specifics about the shower. Darcy felt better having someone to tell who wasn’t family. Darcy figured it was curiosity. Noisiness? Maybe. For a baby shower, it was over the top, but that was Lila. Darcy wanted to make sure the shower was memorable for all the right reasons.
“Why did I do so much? Planning, I mean. It’s a baby shower,” Darcy said and wondered where that came from. Why was she even opening up about it to Monica? They had been decent friends, but were her memories of their high school days better than they really were?
“Your mom helped, right?”
“By force, sure. She offered her opinion in on everything as though it were a sacrifice.”
Monica cracked up. “Your mom hasn’t changed. I remember when…”
Darcy laughed with her, thinking back to when they were sophomores and Darcy’s mother had tried to pull off a mother of the year nomination with her effort to entertain Darcy’s group of friends. Darcy thought of her mother’s planning every time she planned any event, ever. Her mother had set the example of what not to do. Like a meteorite, it’s descent was fast, highly visible for the onlooking community and destructive.
And yet another icebreaker for Darcy.
Six
Galen
Galen found an open-air coffee shop and took place at the back of the long line, watching it snow outside with the same contempt as anyone else. Most travelers were staring at their phones, especially those with kids begging for attention. Black speckled counters, wood tables with dark metal legs. Tile floors. The aroma of roasted coffee and vanilla washed over the area. Humanity everywhere, bags at their feet, nudging them as they inched closer to a warmth, caffeine and perhaps even a smidge of peace amidst chaos.
Kat texted Galen about the weather three times already. Her last message had a snowflake drawing.
“So. I guess we wait. I’ve never seen snow before,” Galen said, only to realize that wasn’t entirely true.
Darcy raised her eyebrows, thin and auburn like her hair, about shoulder length. “Never?”
“Well, okay. Maybe once or twice I’ve seen snow in my life, but I can barely remember it. I was a little tot.”
Darcy kinda laughed, “Tot?”
Galen shrugged and wondered if he were blushing. His face felt a little warm. “Kid.”
Darcy had a personality he gravitated toward. Spunky. A tad cynical. In tights and a long sleeve top, she was in the minority who had actually dressed for Denver’s cold weather. Not a minute had passed in line and she took off her coat and held it over her arm, before asking where he was traveling to.
“San Francisco, for a wedding,” he said.
“I would have guessed either technology or maybe a medical conference,” Darcy said, a matter of factly.
“I’ll try not to resent that,” Galen said. “I’m only half Indian for your information.”
“Sorry. I don’t mean to stereotype.”
Galen smirked back, “My last name is Brown because my India born mother married a white engineer. And I was an accident. So where are you going?”
“At least you have a sense of humor about it,” Darcy said, finding humor in what he had said. “I’ve got a baby shower to attend. Home for me. Wisconsin,” she said.
Galen knew if Kat could get a visual of Darcy she would have a few things to say. Kat wasn’t the jealous sort, but Darcy was pretty enough to test his theory. She’d probably want to talk on the phone until he got on his flight or left the airport. Trapped at the airport, in limbo, it felt surreal. He was actually going to San Francisco. But he wasn’t.
“That’s a long trip.”
“From Texas, yeah. I thought we wouldn’t even land in Denver. They were talking about the snow on my flight in like we were to get rerouted to another airport.”
“Oh. And when is the shower?”
“Tomorrow at eleven. When’s the wedding?”
He pondered a moment, watching Darcy and the line move, one body every two minutes or so. He was calculating how long the wait was, based on the average time per person, considering the number of bodies they had, figuring in that at least one person every couple minutes abandoned their place. He calculated twenty-three minutes longer.
Galen said, “Tomorrow night, seven-thirty.”
Darcy seemed impressed, “Saturday night wedding in May. In San Francisco? That would be beautiful.”
“I’m expecting it will be over the top, yes. My cousin’s family has money, obviously. They have it at their country club,” Galen said and wished he had said less. He didn’t need to be so forward with a stranger, even though Darcy was very casual, personable. Her pretty, hazel eyes were inviting. “Who’s having a baby?”
Darcy’s face showed a mixture of excitement and sadness at the same time and Galen wondered what was up. He felt almost like he had said something all wrong by asking, “My sister.”
“Oh. So you’ll be an auntie?”
Darcy smiled, all lip and nodded, “I’m in charge of the shower so it’s…stressful. I’m trying not to think about everything I have to do.”
“I can imagine. I hope you make it on time. Who knows when we’ll get out of here,” Galen said, glancing out the window at the white stuff falling which took out most of the visibility.
The trip to San Francisco was entirely spontaneous on a last-minute RSVP. He had decided against initially, though Kat thought he should go, the cost of plane tickets was prohibitive. But after messaging his cousin Kim back and forth and a series of events happening at home with Addison, his sister sprung for his ticket. As a favor, she had said. To get rid of him, Galen had concluded, but her expense worked to his advantage, though he promised to repay her after he got a job.
His parents would be appalled if they knew he was going to Kim’s wedding. Addison came up with a fib, a tech conference pitch, which was ludicrous, but Addison knew their parents wouldn’t do any fact-checking.
There was one small catch. His plane ticket to San Francisco was one way only. He hadn’t realized she bought him only one leg until he had passed security. He texted her when he had a spare minute about it and she said he had to buy his own flight home. Was Addison getting rid of him or setting him free?
“What was the first time you saw snow?” Darcy asked.
Galen, surprised at her interest, said, “The first. Oh. A pretend family trip. My mother had to attend an artist’s grand opening and this particular sledding hill had been on the way, so they stopped. It was a coincidence, actually.”
“For an art show?”
“Yes. My mother paints.”
Darcy watched Galen and he wondered how much interest she had in him because they were stranded at a crowded airport, alone, with nothing better to do or anyone else to talk to.
“So, you went sledding, but it was really an art show trip for your mom?”
“Yep. They never intended to take us sledding. We got to go down a couple times on an inner tube my dad found that someone had left behind. I had wanted to bring it with us, but my parents made us leave it where we found it.”
Darcy accepted this and seemed to absorb what Galen had said. “What does she paint? Is she in any art galleries?”
Galen shook his head, closing his eyes and he realized what he was doing after the fact. He said quickly, “She doesn’t surrender any of her pieces to anyone. She has kept every one for her ongoing improvement.”
Darcy seemed puzzled, “She never shows her art to anyone?”
Galen saw her point right away, “Not really. That would make too much sense.”
“Why bother creating
it then? Seems like a ton of work for nothing to me.”
“The point is her self expression. Reflection. Exploration? Art is a spiritual experience for her. Soul-enriching, maybe. She’s into chakra stones. A bit like witchcraft, I think.”
Darcy was silent a moment and Galen wondered if he had found a line he should not have crossed.
“She sounds fascinating,” Darcy said. “My mother doesn’t do much except tell everyone else how to live their lives and gossip.”
Galen was amused, “Sounds like every woman over fifty.”
Darcy pursed her lips without seeming upset, “Hey now.”
Galen wanted to change the subject in a hurry, before he dug himself deeper, or she asked any more about his mother, “Are you familiar with this coffee place?”
“Caribou. Sure. Couple times,” Darcy said. She shrugged, pulling at her luggage as the line moved by three people. “Anything hot will be good on a day like today. I’m just hoping the weather delay isn’t long. Did your flight get an estimate for when you might board?”
“I’ll be pleased if I’m not stuck here all night, frankly,” Galen said. “It doesn’t look about to let up snowing.”
Darcy was visibly discouraged by hearing this, her attention on the windows. Darcy grumbled. Galen wasn’t sure what she expected from the weather.
“I hope you make your party,” Galen offered.
Darcy paused before saying, “Thanks. I hope you make the wedding.”
Before he blew Florida, Galen felt better than he had in months. Kat put him on a Paleo diet and made him stick to it. He lost weight. New clothes. A style he liked without taking to pretentious designer duds. Revamping his wardrobe had to be done, though he hadn’t wanted to spend money he didn’t have. He would continue to owe his sister until he landed employment. Quitting his pain meds felt like a victory and he had a new appreciation for the art of walking like a normal person.
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