My thighs tighten as I feel something strange, something no other man has ever done. Niko cups my ass cheeks firmly in is palms. He tightens his grip and moves his hands up and down, bouncing my cheeks. Oddly, I feel turned on by this, not at all weirded out. A tiny giggle erupts from my mouth.
“Do you like that?” he asks as his hands continue to move my rear.
I couldn’t talk even if I wanted to. I’m caught up in emotions and desire as Niko slowly glides his hands around to my front. Placing both of his hands palm down on my stomach, he pushes me backward. The backs of my thighs feel the soft material of his bedding moments before he lays me down. Clenching my legs together, I pray that he can’t tell how wet I already am. How lame would that be?
The bed dips down from Niko’s weight, but he doesn’t lie beside me. Instead, he crawls on top of me, his arms on either side of my head, holding him up. Something brushes against my nose, startling me. I can feel his thumbs running alongside my shoulders, so I know his face is in front of mine and I relax.
“God, how I wish I could kiss you right now,” he admits, as he runs his nose across mine again.
Swallowing, I remember his rules from our agreement: no kissing. I wish he’d make an exception to the rules tonight. I want to know what he tastes like, if he’d kiss closed mouth or open, allowing our tongues to dance. Temping him, I part my mouth and glide my tongue across my bottom lip, wetting it.
“Kiss me, then. If just once, ever in our agreement, do it now,” I plead.
Tension hardens his voice. I can hear it clearly when he utters, “Fuck, Cambree. I…it…I can’t. It would mean too much.” Elaborating, he continues, “It’s been two years since I kissed someone. I’m not worthy of you. If I kiss you, I’d just be spreading my poison. You’re too pure to be consumed by a man that can never give you what you deserve. Don’t you see that?”
“I don’t care. This preconceived thing you have going on in your head is your issue. My only issue is this man, who I assume wants me, won’t kiss me.”
His gentle grip shocks me as he holds my shoulders in place. He hovers above me, and my pulse spikes alarmingly. In the short times we’ve been together, he’s been intense, but right now, that feeling is multiplied by a hundred. I can hear him panting. An internal debate rings loudly in the room. He wants to kiss me. I know he does, so why is he fighting it?
Several long moments pass as a silent plea passes between us. No words are spoken, only feelings shared.
In an instant, Niko moves his hand around the back of my neck. His movement is rough, but his touch is gentle. He raises my head merely inches off the mattress. I can feel his lips close to mine as he breathes. All I want to do is lean forward and claim his mouth with my own.
“I swear to fucking God, Cambree, once I kiss you, there is no turning back. So help me, don’t make me regret this….” His lips crush mine in a wild attempt to please us both. It’s as if a thirst that I’ve had is finally quenched.
The warmth of his mouth opening urges me to do the same. At first, his kisses are slow; he’s taking his time. We’re both savoring the moment, allowing it to soak in, but then it speeds up. We’re needy as we roam one another’s mouths. Our kiss becomes hot, wet, and passionate. Our mouths open wider, allowing the other in deeper. We hold nothing back–both giving and taking a little bit.
Out of breath, our lips unlock, and I know I’ll never recover from a kiss like that. Niko’s mouth moves to my throat. He places small kisses all over my skin, moistening it in the process. His tongue travels to my chest and stops above one of my breasts. All I can feel is hot air blowing from his mouth onto my hardened nipple. He kisses softly around my breast and then I feel the warmth of his mouth as he takes my nipple into it and sucks.
My back arches, pushing my chest against his face, begging for more. As he sucks on one, his free hand finds the other. Pulling my nipple, he rubs it between his thumbs. I’m going to come just from his touch. I got to him, as I planned, but I truly didn’t consider the feelings that would ignite within me during the process. All I want to do is rip off my blindfold and get lost in the world where only Niko Kincaid and I exist.
The feeling is short-lived as someone barges into the room, suddenly stopping his mouth from moving. As he pulls away from me, fear replaces my desire. I reach for his arm, wrapping my hand around it for protection.
“Niko, get up!” the sound of a familiar voice hastily calls out.
In an instant, Niko jumps off the bed, and throws a blanket over my exposed chest. Quickly, as if my life depends on it, I wrap it around my body and scoot as far away from the edge of the bed as I possibly can.
“I’m up!” Niko shouts back. “What the hell is so urgent that you felt the need to come in here at this hour?”
Pulling off the mask, I peer into the room and try to see how close Jarod is to the bed. I don’t want to be caught red-handed, naked. Not that I care that Jarod knows I’m here. I did come back for Niko, but I don’t want to cause any awkward tension. I can hear both men talking, but I remain silent.
“Anton. That’s what is so urgent. Ruth came rushing into my room, yelling that someone was breaking in. I went downstairs and found a brick and shattered glass—” Jarod says, his sentence abruptly stopping.
“Come to my office so we can discuss this in private.”
Busted.
Although there is no door separating the two rooms, I can’t make out what the two are saying. Their voices are hushed, which doesn’t make this little intrusion any less scary.
With a trembling lip, I stay put for what seems like ten minutes. My body instantly relaxes when I hear a set of feet leave the room and the door close.
I can hear Niko huffing as he enters the room. Anger radiates off of him, I can feel it although he stands a few feet away from me. The bed dips down when he finally sits.
“Don’t be alarmed, but someone from my past has resurfaced recently. For some reason he wants to finish what he started.”
My brain can’t focus on what he is saying. It’s too clogged with what happened between us, the fact that my closest friend, Jarod, knows I was in the sack, and the breaking news that someone vandalized the estate. It’s all too much.
“What did that man start?” My voice is low as I question Niko, unsure if he is going to give me a vague answer like he normally does when my need to know gets the best of me.
“He tried to murder me. And when he thought he was successful, he left me for dead. I guess he learned that his attack didn’t end as planned, and now he’s back to finish me off.”
Alarm bells ring in my head. A murderer is after Niko? I shouldn’t have ever come here in the first place, and now I’m in too deep. I care about him, subconsciously or not, the feeling is present. “I’m…I’m going to go to my room to process all of this,” I stutter while leaning forward and preparing to crawl off the bed.
A hand stops me, pulling me backward. My body falls against Niko. His arms wrap around me, tightly. “You’re not going anywhere tonight. Not with Anton lurking around. My quarters are safe. The walls are bulletproof and there is an alarm built in. We haven’t felt the need to have the security we used to in a while, but you’ll be safer in here with me.”
Bulletproof walls? A cry erupts from my lungs. I don’t want to sound petrified, but I am. Feeling every bit of sorrow for what happened to Niko and worried about my own safety, I allow him to hold me like a child as I weep in his arms.
When he speaks again, his voice is tender. “You’re my new refuge.”
The truth is like waves washing up on the shore at the beach. You never know the exact time the tide is going to come rolling in, much like Niko’s admission. It takes me off guard. As if his words are water, they drench me. He just said I was his refuge.
Holding onto the hope that his words are indeed true, I lie down with Niko. His body pressed tightly to my back, he covers us both up, all while never letting go of my side. I allow myself to drift off to sl
eep dreaming about a time when Niko no longer lives in the dark and allows my admiration to guide him to the light.
BEFORE THE DAWN BREAKS over the horizon, I unfold my arms from around Cambree’s body. I feel refreshed, well rested. Content. Although the danger of Anton still rings loudly in my mind, I push those thoughts aside as I stare down at the beauty in my bed.
She’s breathtaking and it’s scary as fuck. Her eyes remain shut as I take in the curve of her nose and the faint smile that makes her mouth tilt up, just a tad. It makes me wonder what she’s dreaming about. As shallow and childlike as it may sound, a part of me wishes her dreams were filled with the possibilities that hang between us.
A strand of dark hair rests on her cheek. Too afraid to reach up and move it, I close my eyes and think about our intense encounter last night. I know the feelings I have stirring in my chest mean more than they should. More than I’ve ever allowed. A nagging voice in my head is telling me to kick her ass out of my life and move on to the next broad that is willing to screw me senseless. But with Cambree, she’s just different. Honestly, I’m different, or I have been. With her, I’m less standoffish than I normally am with women.
I feel like the universe is pulling us together. She is hope, and I desperately need her.
The bedroom is still dark, although the faint sound of birds chirping can be heard from outside. It’s only a matter of time before she wakes up. After our kiss, and my foolish moment of weakness when I admitted a small bit of information from my past, I don’t feel ready to share my entire story with her yet or my scars. Maybe one day in the near future, but with everything else going on, today is not that day.
Carefully, I pull my arm out from underneath Cambree’s neck. The sound of her cooing in her sleep makes me smile. Something I also haven’t done freely in a while.
Sliding out of bed, I pick up my towel from last night and wrap it around my waist. My hand hovers over my cell phone resting on top of the nightstand, wishing that I didn’t have to do this, but I know I can’t do it myself.
Picking up the phone, my bare feet guide me into the bathroom. I hit a name on speed dial and wait.
“Morning, boss.” Jarod’s salty tone startles me.
What’s your deal this morning? I think to myself. “I need you to come up here and get Cambree. She’s still asleep, so be gentle with her.” There is a brief moment of silence. I’m not exactly sure why Jarod isn’t quick to fulfill my command.
“I’m on my way up,” he finally says.
Disconnecting the line, I lay the phone on the counter and stare into the broken mirror. I make mental note for Jarod to call someone to have it replaced. My reflection is different today from the last time I looked at myself. My eyes aren’t nearly as sunken in, and my mouth is curled up on the sides. Shaking my hair out of my face, I lift my hand, running my pointer finger up the jagged scar along my entire cheek. I wince at the reminder of that night.
The truth is too deep to ever share with Cambree. As my legs start to shake from the flashback, I know that I’ll never be strong enough to tell her. I’m barely strong enough to make it day by day as it is. I don’t need her pity added onto the pile of shit I already deal with on a daily basis. Being alive is a constant reminder of that night. I was dying, fading into black…but for some peculiar reason, I lived.
The sound of Jarod opening the door gives me peace of mind. I know Cambree is in good hands when it comes to him. My ears perk up as I hear her grumble through the door. Jarod tells her to go back to sleep. Opening the bathroom door, I peek out only to see him pushing the hair out of her face. Something I was hesitant to do myself. Then he walks toward the door, Cambree’s sleeping body in his arms—in another man’s arms.
It’s probably for the best, I think to myself as the happy version that woke up this morning sinks back into the endless pit of self-hate I harbor.
Waking up, my head is clouded with the events of last night. The feelings that danced around my heart, weaving and tangling within my soul, are real. Before our intimate encounter, I felt like they were just feelings of passion and desire, but as I stretch in bed this morning, an undeniable smile highlights my face. I feel something for the broken man down the hall.
Getting out of bed, my toes are welcomed by a soft rug underneath of them. I glance around the room, wondering where I am. I’m not in Niko’s room anymore. I’m in one that is bright and has lavish materials on the bedding. As I stroll toward the en suite bathroom, I remember how open Niko was last night. He cared enough to kiss me–to share a piece of his dreadful past.
Opening up the shower stall door, I step inside. I’m instantly reminded of how his soft, yet firm hands held me, caressed me. The water cascades out of the shower’s head, coating my body with warmth. For a moment, I get lost. Closing my eyes, I imagine Niko is standing in the shower with me. Naked. Baring himself to me in more ways than one.
My pulse picks up as I fantasize about what I would like to do to him. Steam rolls around me, fogging the glass, keeping my mind hostage in its imaginary escapade.
Thoughts of bending over in front of Niko are short-lived. My eyes widen when there’s a sudden knock on the bathroom door. It sounds like someone pounding a nail into a stud. Luckily, I closed the door all the way and locked it. Something I very rarely do at my apartment.
“Who’s there?” I holler nervously, desperate to find out.
“It’s Jarod. Are you almost done?” the familiar voice calms me and then I wonder why he would interrupt me while showering? What could be so important?
Washing the shampoo and suds off my body, I turn the knob, shutting the water off, and step outside onto the rug in front of the tiled stall. I lean forward and rub my hair with the smaller of two towels. The other I use to wrap around my body, guarding it, protecting it from wandering eyes.
“Yes, give me just a second!” I shout as I notice a new toothbrush and unopened tube of toothpaste on the double vanity. I opt to open them both. I brush my teeth and then look in the mirror. I can barely recognize myself. Draped in expensive towels, my hair disheveled, sticking to the sides of my cheeks, but I’m happy, regardless if I look like a hot mess.
An odd feeling comes over me. It’s something I haven’t been fortunate to experience in a quite some time now. Niko single handedly turned my gray gloomy outlook into rays of sunshine. The sad part is that he doesn’t even allow himself to feel the light, when he’s the power source behind my smile.
Jerking the bathroom door open, I run face first into Jarod’s chest. “What the hell?” I ask once I regain my composure and grip my towel tighter around my body.
“I…I…do you want to get dressed first?” he stutters, seeming uncomfortable.
“No. Not really. You obviously barged in here. Something important must be going on. What is it?” I honestly don’t mean to be stern with him, but I’m pissed that my relaxing shower was cut short. And with the news of a murderer on the run, I’m limited on relaxing at the moment.
“Your Grams just arrived. She will be staying in the room down the hall.”
My body stiffens. Gripping the top of the towel, I fold a small piece underneath of my armpit to keep it from falling. “My Grams is here? As in here, in the estate?” My curiosity shines widely out of control. I’m in disbelief.
Jarod extends his hand and brushes a piece of damp hair off my cheek. “Yes, she is here. Get dressed. I’ll meet you in the hallway and will explain.”
When his eyes settle on mine, he sighs. For a short-lived moment, we stand silently looking at one another. He blinks and I’m keenly aware that he is pausing, thinking, and then suddenly he walks away without another word, leaving me to wonder what is going on and why he has been acting so weird lately.
Rushing to my suitcase, I pull out a pair of fresh underwear, a bra, socks, jeans, and a sweater. I roll a stick under each of my arms, throw on my clothes, and slide on my boots. I flip my head over and tussle my hair. It’s a wet, wavy mess, but I don’t care.
In a few quick strides, I’m back in the bathroom with my makeup bag in tow. Unzipping it, I grab the brush and apply a loose powder on my cheeks, forehead, and the bridge of my nose. Doing the same with blush, I open a tube of lip balm and run it along my lips. Rubbing them together, I hurry out the door.
Just like he said, Jarod meets me in the hallway. His arms are bent, his hands wrapped around the back of his neck. Questions run through my mind as I push him to the side and attempt to walk down the hall toward my Grams.
“Whoa, hold on,” Jarod calls out, grabbing my wrist from behind me, his stare drilling into the back of my head. I can feel it.
I stop and turn around. A small quiver takes residence on my lower lip. It vanishes when I speak in a harsh tone. “I want to know what is wrong. Why is she here? Please stop stalling and tell me. If that fucker, Anton or whatever you said last night, harmed her, I swear I will kill him with my own two hands!” My voice breaks as I yell out threats, knowing damn well that I’m no match for that psychopath.
“Stop it with that nonsense!” he scolds me. “Niko had your grandmother moved this morning. After you fell asleep, he arranged for the transfer. He’s hired a twenty-four hour nurse. One of the best in the home healthcare business.”
The sound of my voice is low, almost apologetic. “But why? He didn’t have to do this. I never asked him to do this.”
“He did it because he cares about you and you care about her. Don’t worry about the legalities, and they are refunding you for the months you pre-paid them.”
I’m so confused. “How did they move her without my permission? And she’s been so sick. I can’t image the doctors just let her leave.”
He sighs. “Bree, it’s all been handled. Don’t worry yourself with those questions. The bottom line is she’s here, she’s safe, and she’ll be taken care of by one of the best specialists in the state.”
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