Patrick: Will do, boss.
Me: Great thanks. Any word from McNeil?
Patrick: Nope, nothing at all.
It still didn’t sit well with me that McNeil had been silent. On the upside, it took no time at all for Marcus and Patrick to get the security system up and running at La Vienne Rose. They’d had everything installed by the time we returned late Sunday afternoon from Chicago. That was a relief.
“Mr. Robertsen, Ella is doing great.”
My head jerked up at the sound of Dr. Carpenter’s voice. I stood, feeling the relief washing over me.
“We patched up her cuts and scrapes. No broken bones, however she has some discomfort in her shoulder and inflammation in her ribs. She was jostled pretty good.”
“Thank you, Doctor. Can I see her now?”
He nodded. “My recommendation is that she rests the next few days and absolutely no working out.”
After shaking his hand, I made my way down the hallway to Ella’s room. I stood in the doorway watching the rise and fall of her chest as she lay in the bed. She was alive, no thanks to me and my carelessness on the job.
“Hey, you,” she said weakly.
“Hey.” I walked over to her bed and took a seat in the chair. “How are you feeling?”
Reaching for my hand, she smiled. “A little sore, but nothing I can’t handle.”
That was true enough. I thought about all she’d been through—her history with David, the scandal, public humiliation, the trial and how she managed to overcome it all. She did all of that on her own, because Ella was a fighter.
I let go of her hand and stood. “That’s good to hear and I’m so glad you’re okay.” Touching her was almost too much to bear right now.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her voice was shaky.
“I’m fine, just worried about you.”
I stared at the bandages that covered her arm and the bruising along her neck and shoulder that turned her creamy skin red and purple. My stomach rolled and I felt sick. This was bad, and things could have been a lot worse than a few bumps and bruises.
So much worse.
My main concern was to get her home, but there was no denying other factors weighed heavily on my mind.
Once we got home, Ella wanted to soak in the bath, so I let her and then redressed the bandage on her arm. After that I helped her get dressed and then get into the bed. Leaving her to rest, I walked downstairs to my office.
Taking a seat at my desk, I blew out a deep breath. I grabbed my phone and tapped the screen, a message from Patrick appeared.
Patrick: No go on the van, emailed you some information.
I powered up my laptop and then opened my email. There wasn’t much to the message, and nothing solid to even start an investigation. The screen on my phone flashed, it was another text from Patrick.
Patrick: McNeil was spotted in Newark this morning. I checked, just in case.
Me: Thanks, man.
Patrick: Not a problem, that’s why you pay me the big bucks. How’s Ella doing?
Me: Remind me to give you a raise. She’s okay despite being a bit shaken. She’s resting now.
Patrick: Glad to hear she is okay. This was probably just some locals being dipshits and completely random. Don’t sweat it, buddy, and tell Ella I said to get well soon.
Me: Will do. I’ll check in later.
After I sent my last message to Patrick, I walked to the bar and poured a drink. It was after noon on a Thursday. Besides, it’s five o’clock somewhere.
I tossed back the contents of the glass and poured another. Concerned for Ella’s safety, I was on high alert, and every sound I heard triggered a flashback. My mind fogged over with worry.
Maybe I should take a step back from this job. I slumped into the chair and mentally kicked myself.
Ella is not a job, you love her.
And that right there was the truth, but if I didn’t love her I would have been doing my job and protected her effectively keeping her unscathed. Now, she was lying upstairs covered in cuts and bruises and it was my fault.
AS SOON AS ALEX left me alone in his bed, the tears spilled down my cheeks. My heart thumped and I buried my face in the pillow. On top of being drained and tired, I didn’t want Alex to see or hear me cry. I don’t know what I would have done if I had been running alone.
A mixed bag of emotions rained over me. I wanted to wail and let out all the fear and relief. Perhaps it was only the medication leaving me feeling emotional and a bit loopy.
When I couldn’t see Alex through the dust, it had scared me to death. In that moment, the worst fears washed over me, that he was injured because those assholes had run him over.
Tossing onto my side, I couldn’t turn off my brain. All I thought about were the tasks I needed to finish at the store before opening day. And then my thoughts shifted to Alex, seeing the pained look on his face as I lay in the hospital bed made my heart crumble.
My phone lit up, Nabila’s name flickered. I studied the screen for a moment before answering.
“Hey, girl,” I chirped trying to sound upbeat.
“Ella, my love, I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too, doll.” I sat up in the bed leaning against the headboard.
“How are you?”
“I’m okay,” I sighed, feeling the rush of tears prickling.
“Cut the crap,” she scolded. “You sound dreadful. Have you taken ill?”
Pain radiated in my chest, at the memory of the van barreling towards me. “No, kind of, I guess . . . I was in an accident this morning.”
She gasped. “Oh my God, Ella. What happened?”
“Alex and I were out for a run and this van almost ran us over. I dove out of the way and landed in some weeds, I cut my arm on a branch or something. Nothing major, I was in and out of hospital.”
“Christ, that’s awful. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m okay, truly,” I answered reassuringly, then glanced at the bandage that covered my arm. “Thank God Alex was there. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if I had been alone.”
“It sounds to me like your bodyguard boyfriend wasn’t doing his job well enough, if you were injured.” The sarcasm in her voice irritated me. I hoped she was only kidding.
I dropped my head to the pillow, and stared up at the ceiling. “This wasn’t Alex’s fault, Bila. There’s not much one can do when idiots get behind the wheel and act like total wankers.”
“I suppose that is true enough. Alex better take better care of you or it will be him that ends up in hospital.”
I laughed. “Alex always takes good care of me. Now, what’s going on with you?”
Nabila yammered on about her latest art collection and Finn. For the most part I listened, but I found myself becoming distracted and unable to contain my yawning.
“Let me tell you, his long fingers aren’t just useful spinning the tables. That man can massage a g-spot with glorious precision, like you wouldn’t believe.”
Shaking my head, I let out a long set giggles that morphed into tears. I ended our call with a promise to call her in a few days. It was good to hear from Nabila, and I’d been a terrible friend not keeping up with what was going on in her life. Clutching the phone to my chest, I vowed to make time to catch up at least once a week.
Darkness fell across the room. Thunder cracked and my gaze darted to the window. I swiped away the tears. The tapping of rain soothed, reminding me of London. Somewhere in between tracing designs on the comforter and playing Tetris on my phone, I fell asleep.
By day five, post-accident, I was certain I was going absolutely mad. It didn’t help matters that I still couldn’t run or even do yoga. If I had been at my flat in London, I would have gone on a total cleaning spree by now. To my amazement, I had a desire to mop floors and scrub the shower. Even dusting sounded appealing.
As for Alex, he spent most of the time tucked away in his office. He checked in on me, almost as if we’d slipped into some odd r
oommate agreement. Was he bored of me already? Bloody hell, the man had just asked me to move in with him. To make matters worse, we hadn’t had sex in days. Our kisses were now chaste, the passionate ones were few and far between. Even at night, we crawled into bed separately. I wondered how things had changed so quickly.
My heart stuttered, dreading that the honeymoon phase had fizzled out already.
After lunch, I found a way to sneak out of the house without him knowing. I’d deal with the consequences later. In addition to checking in on the boutique, the need for a large salted caramel latte and one of those delicious gluten-free, orange cranberry muffins from the bakery had been elevated to a level five emergency.
I’d convinced Marcus not to tell Alex that I was at the boutique, a box of sugary treats and a black coffee was my only bargaining tool and yet it worked.
After a few hours of steaming garments and merchandising a few display walls, I sat at my desk checking in the latest shipment of clothing. Despite my several days’ absence, things were running on schedule with the grand opening. On top of that, the London store was doing well and the sales were up six percent over last year at this time.
Knock, knock.
When I lifted my head, my eyes took in a very sexy Alex leaning against the doorframe, with his arms crossed against his broad chest and his hazel eyes narrowed.
“Marcus, there’s a very tall man who looks a lot like Alex standing in my doorway,” I called out, my voice cracking with laughter.
“Sorry, Ella, he is the boss.”
“But I gave you donuts. I thought we were friends.”
“Blame it on my sugar crash.”
Alex nodded his head towards the front of the store. “Come on, Ella, let me take you home.”
“But I . . .”
He cut me off. “No buts, besides I need to talk to you.”
The serious tone of his voice caused fear to roll through me. I finished entering the last item and made a note where I’d stopped. After shutting down the program, I grabbed my bag and then closed the door to my office.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked at Alex. “What’s going on?”
He led me out the door to his Range Rover. “Not here, we’ll talk at home.”
I had a very bad feeling. Every single nerve ending in my body was lit up like a live wire. Despite the sound of my heart pounding in my ears, the ride to the house was much too quiet.
I recognize the weight all around me; this is what the end feels like.
I didn’t wait for Alex to open the passenger door. I hopped out and then made a beeline up the back steps, taking them two at a time. Nothing about this felt good, I could practically feel the bile rising in my throat.
“Okay, Alex, what is going on?” I demanded. “You’ve been acting odd ever since the day of the accident.”
He scrubbed his hands down his face. “You’re right, and I apologize for being so distant.”
My shoulders tensed. “Distant, yes, and not to mention quite cold—things between us have been a little frosty. So what gives?”
We moved through the kitchen and as I passed by the hallway leading to the front doorway, that was when I saw his suitcases sitting in foyer by the staircase.
My heart fell into the pit of my stomach shattering into heavy pieces. “Alex? What is going on?”
Silence filled the space between us, and then, “I need to go to back to Grand Rapids.”
“Oh.” My brow crinkled. “Has something happened with your family?”
“No, this has nothing to do with my family. I need to go back for me.”
For him? Did he mean permanently? As much as I tried to fight back the tears, I couldn’t. Alex strode towards me, and then pulled me into his frame. “Ella, please don’t cry. My heart can’t take it.”
The sobs grew stronger as I fisted his shirt in my hands. “How can I not cry? You’re leaving me.”
He pulled back from our embrace, and then dipped his eyes to meet mine. “I need some time to think and clear my head.”
“But this is your home, the place you bought to think and get away from things. Don’t do this, Alex.”
He stared at me, agony washing all over his face. “I’m worried that I’m not the man who can take care of you. I just need a little time.”
He’s not going to leave. I just moved in.
“Please don’t run away. Let’s get some ice cream and talk.” The words were coming out of my mouth, but I had no idea what I was saying. As I paced the kitchen, I went on, babbling about flavors of ice cream.
He caught me by the waist. “It’s a deeper issue, and it’s mine. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“I know I’ve done nothing wrong, I’m just talking about ice cream. Come on, I’ll change and then we can go.”
I turned to walk away, but he grasped my arm. “I need to leave.” His eyes pleaded with me, and his hands came up to frame my face. “Before it’s too late.”
“Too late,” I repeated, anger vibrating in my voice.
He said it was worth the risk. That I was worth the risk. I loved him and he loved me. Everything about this was too late.
He swallowed hard before speaking. “Ella, I need to get my head on straight. I’ve arranged for Marcus to be my replacement, it’s all taken care of. I asked you to live here and I want you to stay.”
The words echoed in my brain. Every fiber inside me screamed in agony. I looked down at my faded bruises where I’d been cut, and then it hit me.
“This is about Sasha, isn’t it?” I eyed him with a sympathetic stare.
He stood in silence, as his eyes dropped to the floor. As much as I was hurting, this was a thousand times worse for him. As anger left my body, I realized, as much as it cut into my heart like shards of glass, I had to let him go. My hands shook as tears cascaded down my face.
The back of his knuckles grazed over my cheek and the pad of his thumb swiped away the tears. “I can’t be responsible for your pain.”
“It was an accident, these things happen,” I choked out, my heart aching for him. “You shouldn’t blame yourself. I wish you didn’t.”
All at once, a multitude of emotions stirred inside me. I blinked up, and then he crushed his mouth to mine. If he’d let me, I’d swallow his torment and drown all of his fears. His hands tangled in my hair and he deepened the kiss, it was impatient and generous. How could this be over? It barely started.
Gripping him tightly, my fingers dug into his shoulders. I closed my eyes, inhaling his scent, savoring the feel of his body against mine, needing to catalog everything to memory.
After a few moments, I placed my hand over his heart, immediately his hand covered mine squeezing tight. “You are here,” he whispered into my hair.
MY APARTMENT IN GRAND Rapids was much too cold and much too empty. There wasn’t a physical trace of Ella anywhere, but that was exactly why I’d come to this place—detox, to get her out of my system. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
The last time I had been here, my sister, Amy, was sobbing on my couch and begging me to reconsider leaving. Maybe I should have stayed here. I could have spared Ella the pain of loving me and all my fucked up glory. She was too good for me anyway.
When I’d finally rolled out of bed on the third morning . . . afternoon, I had no fucking idea why I was even back here. My plan to erase Ella from my mind wasn’t working. Not in the least. Despite never physically being here, she was everywhere. I saw her reflection in the mirror. That flowery scent lingered on my clothes and stained my skin. Anything the color of red morphed into her luscious lips.
I stared at my ceiling and it occurred to me that I was a first class asshole. Ella deserved a better man than me.
When I arrived the place was spotless, but today it was in serious need of cleaning. Empty beer bottles lined the island, along with empty pizza and carryout boxes. All thanks to the modern conveniences of apps like Drizly and Grub Hub.
All my calls had gone to voi
cemail and I had no desire to listen to any of them. The only thing I wanted to do was drink and fill up the emptiness that was inside me.
Jesus, Alex, you sound like a fucking pussy.
The reality was that I was, in fact, a fucking pussy.
“Alexander William Robertsen, you have thirty seconds to open this fucking door or I am breaking it down!”
“Shit,” I groaned, and stumbled up to my feet.
“Alex, get off your ass and open this goddamn door!”
I pulled open the door and dragged my sister inside by her arm. “Amy, was all that swearing really fucking necessary?”
“Relax,” she scoffed, jerking her arm from my grip. “Besides you’re the only resident on this floor.”
While that was true enough, it didn’t warrant her uncouth behavior. I scrubbed my hands down my face and dropped to the sofa. Amy’s blue eyes scanned over every surface and corner while she tapped her foot against the hardwood floor.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, tucking strands of thick brown hair behind her ears.
“Better question,” I shot back. “How did you know that I was here?”
“Our brother told me.”
My brow crinkled. “How the hell did Vince know I was here?”
“Seriously?” She threw her hands up. “You flew in on one of his planes. His office gets a copy of all the flight manifests, dumbass.”
My fingers rubbed at my forehead. Yep, I should have flown commercial.
“Alex,” she sighed, taking a seat beside me. “What is going on?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Well, I’ve got time.”
“Shouldn’t you be at work? I am sure there’s an intern that needs yelled at.”
She glared at me. “College interns completed the program last week.”
“Smartass.”
“Why don’t you grab a shower,” she instructed and pointed down the hallway. “I’m going to tidy up, and then we’ll talk.”
“Maybe I don’t want to talk. I came here to be alone.”
“Is this really how you want to play it?”
Bound to Me (The Harbour Series Book 1) Page 19