by A. J. Sand
There was hesitation in Naomi’s movements, but she obliged and left with Dylan. Alone, Erica locked the door again and did her best not to break down completely as more tears slipped down her face. She didn’t know if she would ever stop shaking. Chas was clearly lying, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. The cut was still deep. It still defied her ability to be strong. And it still made her want to cry. She knew being back here, coming back to her old life, was going to be tough, especially when the fate of her attacker was largely unknown, and she had accepted that, but Erica had a hard time accepting that she couldn’t just be invulnerable to whatever came her way.
She quickly wiped her eyes when a knock echoed around her. “Sorry…” Erica called out as she went to unlock the door.
Bryson was waiting with a smile, and he looked much more prim than he had before. “You all right?”
Even though her heart was racing still, she nodded. “You?” She took his arm when he offered it, and he led her back through the lobby. It looked as though the earlier commotion had never happened.
“Yeah, babe, I’m all right. I’m sorry I lost my cool. He was just so nonchalant, and it was driving me crazy,” he whispered. “My parents are asking for you. I don’t think they liked my little outburst too much, especially because I won’t tell them what it was about. Mom’s still pissed about her birthday, too. Are you okay with sitting with them up front? Best seats in the house.”
“Yeah…” Holy freaking shit. Her heart dropped when Sue turned and waved as they strolled toward them. “I’m definitely okay with that.” But she thought her legs would give out when he let her arm go once they were at the table.
As Bryson pushed her chair in, he leaned down and said, “Every guy in here was looking over at us… And I know you’ve told me countless times that I look good in Armani, but… I don’t think it’s me.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek after a wink.
And the night proceeded with far less awkwardness than she had suspected when she had thought about meeting with his parents. Besides, Bryson held her hand under the table the entire time. The conversation stayed pleasant but very light before the musical tribute to Jeff and his brother, Aaron, featuring Silver Method artists spanning the decades, began. All of them spoke briefly about the Ellises and sang recognizable hits that sent everyone rushing to the dance floor. Bryson didn’t talk much during the evening, except when someone he knew from the label strolled over to the table to make small talk or when he went up on stage to introduce his dad and uncle. The sadness in his eyes was so heavy, and maybe he could mask it for everyone else, but not from the person who had woken up to those brown irises every morning for years. And there was still more to explain. If he wanted to be back in, if they were really going to move forward, he needed to know all of it. He needed to make an informed decision.
The anniversary party went forward without another incident, and Erica got to dance until the balls of her feet felt like she was walking on stones, with Dylan, Stazia and Naomi; they were literally the last ones left on the floor. At the end of the night, she said goodbye to them and Bryson’s parents before he swung her into his arms and carried her to the elevator. Erica held on to him so tightly she was sure she was choking him, but she had an urge to be closer to him, so her lips were pressed to his collar and her fingers were tangled in the strands at the nape of his neck. The security she found in him washed away everything she’d been feeling earlier.
“You do you look good in Armani, Ellis…” she said once they were in his suite as she undid his tie.
“Maybe I wore it because you think that.” Bryson lowered a kiss to her forehead but the smile he wore when they were back eye-to-eye was strained.
“Do you mind if I stay here tonight? Some guy showed up to my apartment….”
“What? Was it Chase? Goddammit,” he said, expelling a breath of frustration.
“I don’t know who it was. A neighbor called Dylan and the police. Dylan’s going to Wes and Abe’s tonight. So, is it okay if I—”
“Stop… Of course, you can stay,” he interjected as he kissed her at the curve of her neck. “I was hoping you wanted to. But you guys aren’t really still going to be at that apartment, are you?”
“Yes, I am, Bryce. How many times can I let either of them take control of my life?” She held up her hair as he unzipped her dress. “I keep altering my behavior, but neither one of them has to. Moving isn’t going to stop Chase from wanting to make my life hell. When I was here last October, after being gone for months, he and Adam still decided to make the night awful for me.”
Bryson swiveled her to face him, and she saw just a hint of anger flash in his eyes. “He’s been harassing you since last year?”
“He’s been harassing everyone associated with Kai since last year…” she clarified. “He didn’t even know Dylan and he physically assaulted her and started a fight during one of Kai’s shows. And he was waiting for me at my apartment the night we went to go pick up Fitz.”
“Jesus. Did he bother you at Luz, too?”
“No…but Jeremy did.”
“What…?” Bryson gaped momentarily, his skin paling. “Dammit, I should’ve been there,” he said, wistfully. “I’m so sorry, E.”
She made a face. “Bryce, your dad was in the hospital. Anyway, we had it out, me and him…and that’s why Abel landed in the hospital.”
With a somber look, Bryson tossed a t-shirt at her once she stripped completely out of her dress. “Here. Sleep in that,” he said before he stepped into the bathroom.
“Bryce, are you really okay?” Already she was starting to see all of this wear on him.
He poked his head out from around the corner, sighed and pressed out another tense smile. “It’s just hard when I think about you, Erica Anne.”
“I asked about you, Bryce,” she said, sensing he was going somewhere emotionally that she didn’t want him to in regard to her. “Don’t worry about me. I’ve been dealing with this for a while now. You’re just coming into the clusterfuck.” He had asked her to trust him with it all, but it was still a lot to take in…maybe too much to stay for. Maybe too much to ever have hope of them getting back to normal. The thoughts induced an insidious, crippling feeling in her stomach. She was speaking again before she could stop herself. “I just want you to know that I’d completely understand if after you digested all of this, you realized this isn’t what you signed up for. You have a wonderful job, in a wonderful city with a potential client who is going to go up the Billboard charts so fast. Last year, I walked away from you, Bryce. Maybe you deserve the choice to do the same thing.”
“Erica? Are you all right?” Ashley asked, waving her hand in front of Erica’s face before she flashed an impatient smile at her. They were sitting at the kitchen island in Erica and Dylan’s apartment discussing some publicity opportunities for Kai. But as with everything she’d been doing all week, she was having difficulty focusing on her immediate task. The police were supposedly investigating the origin of the text messages and the mysterious person who had showed up at her apartment. Also, Bryson hadn’t called yet and she was trying to be patient; this was the price of giving someone the choice of moving on without you.
“Sorry,” Erica said, and she dropped her eyes to the sheets of paper in front of her. Ashley was incredibly organized and detailed when it came to Kai’s schedule. It was like she had a homing device on him because everything was broken down into fifteen-minute increments; she knew exactly where he would be nearly every moment. “I’ve put together a long spreadsheet of all the music bloggers and writers in Memphis who might be interested, so it’s just a matter of contacting them to cover the show and attending the backstage meet-and-greet. I’ll try to get it done ASAP…and then set up a schedule of my own to tackle the other cities and tour dates. I promise.” But she was a little intimidated by Ashley’s efficiency. Erica realized that when she had worked for Kai, she had maybe been a little lax in her work ethic because they were friends. She did
n’t know if she’d be able to keep up with Ashley.
“Good…” Ashley tapped her fingers on the countertop of the island and suddenly she looked distracted, too. “So, it’s cool how you and Dylan have become such good friends. I feel like I totally blew my chances of getting to know how awesome she is.” Her tone was overflowing in its saccharin content.
“Yeah…I heard how things went down last year…” Erica said, trying to ignore how awkward the situation felt suddenly. Knowing specifically that Ashley had more than implied that sex played a role in Dylan getting the documentary filmmaker position on Kai’s tour last year, she felt herself getting a little defensive given what had happened to her during the Silver Method party.
“So has Kai said anything to you about what my status is?” she asked. “I thought I would be back on the tour by now…”
“No, he hasn’t, but I can ask if you want. I’m meeting up with him in a few.”
“No…it’s totally fine!” Ashley said, waving her hands, hints of nervousness straining her face beneath her black bangs. “I was just wondering. Don’t say anything. I don’t want him to feel like I’m trying to be demanding. I think sometimes I come on way too strong, and I can be offensive. I’m trying to work on that.”
Erica studied her for a moment. “Okay…” This was the hard ass Dylan had told her about?
“Well, you probably have things to do, so I should get out of here,” Ashley said as she gathered her belongings. “So, we’ll be in touch?”
“Definitely.”
“And please tell Dylan I said hi.”
“Sure thing,” Erica said, trying not to laugh as she went to shut the door behind her. She grabbed her cell off the kitchen counter to check her missed texts. Her phone had been chiming for a while. There were some texts from Stazia thanking her for putting her in touch with Hayden’s lawyer friend and for helping her draft a statement to release to the press in case her ex put out the video of her anyway. Stazia’s crisis was too complicated for Erica’s kind of PR right now, but she had agreed to help her with the statement since the situation would really be handled legally. Once Stazia’s life settled down, if Erica could truly manage classes and her small business, they could revisit the idea of her becoming a client.
Stazia: B said label liked what you wrote. I cnt blv am abt 2 tell wrld abt my
sex tape.
Erica: You talked to Bryce?
Stazia: Yup. In New Orleans 4 few days. Think Holly signed.
“Oh,” Erica said out loud. Holly signing the contract was inevitable, but hearing that it had actually occurred was a reminder that this New Orleans thing was real. Maybe he deserved the new life she’d left him for. She said goodbye to Stazia when Kai sent a text to say he was waiting downstairs.
She climbed into the passenger seat of Kai’s rented SUV and leaned over to hug him before he drove out of the apartment complex. He dodged her arm when she reached over to ruffle his freshly cut hair. Kai grunted in annoyance when a car of paparazzi swerved out from around him and accelerated so that they were parallel on the road. Erica smacked him on the shoulder when he aimed his middle finger out the driver’s side window.
“Dude, it’s bad enough we aren’t helping these Karica rumors go away, but now you want to draw more attention to it? You know that picture will be everywhere in an hour, right? After a week of reading stories with my name in them about what happened at the Silver Method party, I’m due for a break.” The gossip had focused mostly on Bryson and Jeremy’s altercation, and was filled with inaccurate theories—thankfully—about what it had been about, but her and Dylan’s presence had added even more fodder to keep it a relevant topic of conversation.
He chuckled. “Sorry, they just piss me off so much. What is so goddamn exciting about me driving!” he yelled at them as he veered into the turn lane for the 405 highway. “So, what are you picking up for Naomi?”
“Miniature international landmarks for the centerpieces for the engagement party tonight. The theme of the engagement party is ‘Love Around the World.’ She was supposed to come get them days ago but forgot because she’s been so stressed out about everything. She also emotionally blackmailed me and Dylan into helping her put the centerpieces together, something else that was supposed to be done by now, so we’re doing that in a few hours before the party. Thanks for tagging along.”
“No problem. Mimi all but sold me her soul years ago in exchange for the promise to play at her engagement party and wedding whenever they happened, so I was going to be here anyway. Oh! You have to hear what I’m playing tonight. I wrote it just for them.” He tossed his cell into her lap. “It’s the second untitled one. It’s a great idea to have Casi add her violin. It’s going to be amazing. So, is Bryce coming tonight?”
Erica hooked the phone up to the car’s audio system and let the song play. It was Kai singing over the strumming of his acoustic guitar. She had always preferred him with the electric guitar, but this song was perfect for Naomi. She shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him all week.”
“What? Why? And, of course, he’s coming.”
“Well, I gave him an out, Kai. He’d be crazy not to take it. He might’ve already. I thought it was the least I could do.” Though, knowledge that he had gone to New Orleans because Holly had signed the contract churned her insides.
“What do you mean you gave him an out?”
“I told him, it was okay if his life was too settled and stable for me to be a part of it,” she explained.
“You didn’t mean that…” Kai took his eyes off the road entirely to shoot her a disbelieving look.
“Your exit is the second one after this,” she said, pointing to refocus his attention. “I didn’t mean it, but I keep thinking he’s going to start seeing something in me as this situation goes on that’s going to make him want to leave anyway.”
Even with just his profile visible to her, Kai’s skeptical look was apparent. “You’re insane.”
“Well, thanks, best friend.”
“You’re underestimating the guy. Look, he probably wants to tell you this himself, but he went to see you, E, when you were in Pennsylvania. Just to make sure you were okay.”
Erica gulped down as her entire body seized. “Wait, when?”
“You mean which time?” Kai said.
“He flew out more than once?”
“Yeah… He told me about three times in the few conversations we had after you left. I think he went more, though. He didn’t want to upset you…just make sure you were okay.”
Erica twisted away from him to stare out the window when the edges of her eyes warmed and her throat clenched. She almost couldn’t believe it. Not one time had she seen him or even thought she had. And her grandparents had never mentioned a visitor. No letter. No flowers. No indication he had ever set foot in Rushmore. But he was there. The sharp sensation dragging through her heart convinced her. The heart always knew. She had run away and he was still there.
Kai squeezed her shoulder. “So, did the police ever figure out who the guy outside your apartment was?” he asked, changing the subject. It wasn’t really something she wanted to talk about either, but anything needed to replace the image in her mind of Bryson sitting, distraught, in a car outside her grandparents’ house, wondering if she would ever come back.
“No, he didn’t fit Chase’s description at all. So that’s a dead end, and get this, as expected, the ‘whore’ text was from a number that is no longer in service.”
“Your apartment is a month-to-month lease remember, so we just have to give them a month’s notice.” Coming from anyone else, it would’ve been a friendly reminder, but out of Kai’s mouth it was authoritative and not debatable.
“Dylan and I talked about it. We’re not leaving,” she countered. She could be tenacious, too.
“What the fuck, E?”
“No, dude. They don’t get to take this, Kai. The answer is no. You have to respect it. It’s done.” She crossed her
arms over her chest and shot a look at him, a dare to challenge her decision.
He looked over at her in shock. “Separate, the two of you frustrate the hell out of me… Together, you make me want to scratch my eyes out.” Kai drove right by the town center where her yoga class and the Pinkberry were before they reached their destination, and Erica wondered if Matt still spent his Saturdays there. No matter when or how often she called or sent a text message, he refused to answer or return any. This is how it must’ve been for my friends, she thought as they loaded the boxes of Naomi’s trinkets into the car. Curiosity lingering, she asked Kai if they could make the stop. The usual Saturday crowd was there, but she was wracked with disappointment when she saw a family of three occupying his favorite table. When she asked the servers if they remembered him, the one who did said she hadn’t seen him in weeks.
“Did you go in there just to look at the fro-yo?” Kai asked when she returned to the car empty-handed.
“I came to see if a guy I used to hang out with still came here. He doesn’t. I haven’t seen him since the show at Luz, and he flat out asked me if there was a possibility we could be together, and I said no.”
“Whoa. Well, no wonder he’s avoiding you. Here’s the thing, E. He’s into you, so he can’t switch those feelings off because you’ve moved on. I started hating being around Dylan when she was being too stubborn about how she felt. It’s hard as hell just being friends with a girl you want to be with. You can’t see her all the time without it killing you a little bit.”
“I know. Just sucks because he was the first person in my life who could relate to what happened to me. I miss that. I do get his need to distance himself, though.” But something still didn’t feel right. Avoiding her was one thing; disappearing completely was another situation altogether. She knew from experience.
A few hours later, Erica, Dylan and Kai were on their way to Naomi and Hayden’s house. With a top twenty percent class position and J.D. from UCLA Law, Hayden was earning more than a decent salary at a downtown L.A. law firm where he was a second-year associate, and he and Naomi had recently purchased a two-story three-bedroom home in Brentwood, California on the Westside of L.A. It was tucked in a cul-de-sac in a quiet, tree-shaded neighborhood. He spent more time working to afford the house than actually in it. Naomi complained that it was too much house for just the two of them, but Erica had caught her on more than one occasion with a dreamy stare around the empty third bedroom.