“It’s food that worries me. If we cannot collect enough to eat here, I worry for our health.”
“Have ya seen ’em fish, lad? Ya worry fer nothin’. Those fellas have no intention of dying on the sea.”
Glancing over at the Portuguese vessel, which dropped anchor beside them, Quinn sighed loudly. Just having them there made her rest easier.
“Enna change?” Maggie asked, as she had every morning since they left the New World.
Quinn shook her head. “Not yet. She’s not as pale, though.”
“Will just keep feedin’ her water then and hope for the best.”
“What’s the plan, lad?”
“The plan is for us to see what this little island has in store for us by way of food. Freitas said they have bananas, vegetables, and honey.”
Fitz’s eyes lit up. “Honey would be excellent.”
“Aye. We will split our men into four groups. Each group will have a specific item they are to bring back to the ship. Focus is better than wandering aimlessly around.”
Tavish and Fitz both nodded.
“We head out at first light, we shove off the next morning, hopefully with our hold full. Fitz, you, Tavish, and One Eye take the lead of three. I’ll—”
“Beg yer pardon, Captain, but you really need to stay with the ship.”
Quinn stared at Fitz. “But—”
“He’s right. The crew needs to feel some sense of security they did not feel on Roanoke.”
“Fine. Put the Hammer on the fourth detail. I’ll stay, get the hold prepared, and hold down the fort for those injured.”
“That’s a better plan,” Tavish said. “We’ll get the word out. Will ya be meetin’ with Captain Freitas?”
Quinn shook her head. “Probably not. There is still much for both of us to do for the voyage.”
And that was what she did.
In between seeing to the rearrangement of the hold, and counting the supplies, Quinn would scoot off down to her quarters to check up on Kaylish.
The third time she went, Kaylish’s eyes fluttered open.
“Kaylish?” Quinn bolted to the side of the bed and took Kaylish’s hand. “It’s me. Quinn.”
Kaylish smiled a smile that appeared either forced or foreign. “I know… who you… can I have some water, please?”
Quinn held Kaylish’s head up, as she had been doing for a week, and placed the goblet to her lips.
“I am… so… tired,” Kaylish said, laying her head back. “Jacob?”
“Is alive and well, thanks to you. You’ve not been well for over a week.”
Closing her eyes, Kaylish sighed. “A week.”
And then she returned to that place she’d been since she’d been shot.
Instead of calling Maggie, Quinn took care of Kaylish just as Maggie had done—making sure she was comfortable, that her head was up, and that she could breathe.
For another half hour, Quinn stayed by her side, stroking her hair, holding her hand, and telling her stories of the sea. She told her all about Grace O’Malley and their adventures together. She told her about her life as a noblewoman and how incredibly boring that had been. In that week together, Quinn had shared more with Kaylish than she had ever shared with another woman.
It was just too bad she didn’t hear any of it. Quinn rose and lightly caressed Kaylish’s cheek. She was a beautiful woman, to be sure, but this week in limbo had cost her a great deal of weight and color.
But she was still alive.
By the end of the day, so were all her men, and they came back bearing plenty of gifts.
Tavish wore a grin from ear to ear. Apparently, the men had rejoiced in the hunt, and it had really lifted their spirits. They came onto the ship singing old pirate songs and telling stories of all the stupid things the stupid members had done.
It did Quinn’s heart good to see their merriment, and that night, they opened up one of the casks of rum the Spaniards had brought with them to trade.
“They’re gonna get pissed at all hell,” Tavish said.
“Let ’em. They deserve it.”
“Aye, lad. That they do. And in the mornin’, we’ll set sail for home.”
Home.
Just where was that, exactly?
That night, Quinn fell asleep with that question unanswered.
Halfway through the night, Kaylish moved.
Quinn jumped out of bed and lit a lantern.
“Quinn?”
“I’m right here.” Sliding under the covers, Quinn was careful not to touch Kaylish. “Are you in pain?”
“Stiff. Sore.” Kaylish glanced around the room. “Why am I in your quarters?” Then she winced. “It hurts to breathe.”
“You don’t remember?”
Kaylish frowned. “I know we made it to the island. Wait. The ship. This… this isn’t our ship, is it? I mean, this isn’t your quarters.”
“The Emerald sank to the bottom.”
Kaylish nodded. “We escaped and I…” She struggled to remember. “I got away with Jacob. I… I don’t remember any more. Is he…did he make it?”
Quinn filled in the blanks, and Kaylish listened intently as the dim light from the lantern warmed the room with the soft glow.
“… and so tomorrow, we head home.” Quinn pulled the covers up for Kaylish. “I was verra worried about you. There was nothing we could do for you. We just had to wait and see. It was horrible.”
Kaylish closed her eyes and sighed. “So you saved my life.”
“Not me. Maggie.”
Slowly reaching for Quinn’s face, Kaylish traced the outline of Quinn’s jaw with her fingertips. “You are an amazing woman, Captain Callaghan. Thank you for coming back for me.”
“Leaving without you wasn’t an option. We lost enough men as it is.”
“I am so sorry for that.”
“So am I.” Kaylish slid her hand around the back of Quinn’s neck. “Your men were worried something fierce when you disappeared.”
Quinn looked into her sunken eyes a long time before gently removing Kaylish’s hand from her neck and kissing her palm. “You were verra brave, yourself.”
“In truth, I’ve never been more frightened.”
“Which is quite often when we are at our bravest.”
Kaylish lay her palm on Quinn’s cheek, and they stayed this way for a long, silent moment, speaking without words or deeds.
“I was so afraid I would never see you again. So afraid I would never have the chance to share my feelings with you.”
“And now you have two more longs months.”
“Oh, Quinn Callaghan, I want more than two months.”
Quinn blinked. “Well. I… uh…”
“I have never known you to be without words,” Kaylish said, smiling. “You must be terribly tired.”
“More than I can admit to even myself.”
“Come then. Stay with me. Close your eyes and rest knowing I have made it through the worst of it.”
Quinn rose and blew out the light. As she did, she realized that whatever had just passed between them had somehow changed her. No longer was she weary or worried. No longer did she feel the burden of being alone.
Lying next to Kaylish, Quinn gently laid her arm across Kaylish’s belly. “I would not let myself feel the fear of losing you, Kaylish, and now that I know I will not, I feel like both crying and dancing.”
Kaylish, still on her back, turned her face and kissed Quinn’s forehead. “Promise me we will dance together in the moonlight on the deck of this ship before we reach Ireland.”
Quinn felt a single tear run down her temple. “I can promise you that.”
“Good. As for crying, no one will ever know.”
A second tear ran across her nose. “I’ve lost too many men on this voyage. My heart aches with those losses.”
Kaylish’s hand found its way to Quinn’s hair, which she stroked with her fingertips. “My father used to say, to die doing what one loves is the only way
to die a peaceful death.”
“Your father is a wise man.”
“Each and every man knew the risks, my sweet captain. Each met his maker on his own terms. You cannot feel responsible for their choices. Besides, you gave each man the chance of a lifetime to see the New World, or part of it.”
Quinn felt her body get heavier. “I am quite certain that, to a man, no one will ever wish to return.”
“Were you able to deliver the box?”
“Aye. It contained seeds, of all things.”
Kaylish continued to caress Quinn’s hair. “M’lady believes tobacco and hemp will one day be… how did she describe it… the cash crop of the New World.”
“Well, I hope she is right. Two dozen men gave their lives for those seeds.”
Kaylish’s hand paused in mid-stroke. “That is where you mis-see things, Quinn. Those men gave their lives to be with you. To plunder with you. To voyage with you. You dishonor their memory by not acknowledging that.”
Quinn rose up on one elbow. “When did you get so wise about the ways of pirates?”
Kaylish gently pulled Quinn’s face to hers and kissed her softly. “When I fell in love with one.”
Blinking back her tears, Quinn inhaled deeply.
Love, it seemed, had a way of creeping up on her when she least expected it.
Sitting with her men in the enormous galley kitchen, Quinn finished her breakfast of fish and potatoes, feeling full for the first time in weeks.
Fitz, One Eye, Tavish, and Maggie all gave reports on the condition of the men under their care as she ate and tried not to think about the many long and intimate kisses she had shared with Kaylish the night before.
“Ya seem a wee bit preoccupied, Captain,” Fitz said, grinning like a fool.
“I’m just listening.”
Fitz and Tavish exchanged glances before tossing their heads back and laughing.
“What are you blokes having a laugh over?” Try as she may, Quinn could not stop the blush she felt rising to her cheeks.
“Yer lady has finally woken up, aye?” One Eye said, winking at Fitz.
“Don’t be daft,” Quinn growled, but she would not pull off her pretend anger. They knew her too well. “Oh, all right. Aye. Kaylish is out of physical danger.”
The group laughed until Maggie shut them down. “My dear, all these rapscallions want is fer ya to be happy. If that young woman makes it so, we are all with ya.”
“Wait. You knew?”
Tavish clapped Quinn hard on the back. “She’s been moonin’ over yer dummy arse since we left Ireland. You were the only one who didna see it!”
“That is simply not true. Maggie?”
Maggie slowly nodded. “My husband isna always the most observant clod, but he could ha’ been blind and still seen it. We figured you knew and rebuffed her and moved on.”
Rebuffed?
“Not at all how it—” Quinn waved the rest of her words away. “Never mind. Enna way, where were we?”
“We were talking about whether or not ya return her affections.” Fitz leaned forward.
“Have you all lost your bloody minds?” Quinn looked into each of their faces… their smiling faces. “My god, you must have nothing better to do.”
“See her eyes?” Fitz asked no one in particular. “Happy guilt.”
“Oh, the lad is happy, to be sure.”
“All right, ya buncha no goods. Get back to work and leave Callaghan with me.” Maggie made shooing motions with her hands. The men ran up the steps cackling like old women.
“Thank you.”
“Fer what? Ridden the room of men who’d give their right arm for you? They care. Has it ever occurred to ya that there are times when they just want ya to be one of them? That showin’ them yer human makes them feel closer to ya.”
Quinn blanked. “Closer to me?”
“Aye, ya silly thing. These bloody blokes love the hell outta ya. They should ha’ returned to the ship after ya disappeared and took it out to sea, but they didna want ya to think that they’d left ya.”
“That’s why it was still docked? I wondered.”
“They love ya like they never loved Grace, but you’re so busy trying to be her, you’re missing out on some very wonderful relationships.” Maggie squeezed Quinn’s hands. “Yer not Grace. You are better than her. You are you, and it’s you they follow. Let them know you.”
“Thank you, Maggie, for letting me know. I never realized—I guess I never thought—”
“Lass, don’t hurt yerself apologizin’. Just start seein’ ’em. See them for the family they want to be and are.”
“I hadn’t realized I wasn’t.”
“They’re like children who want and need your attention. Take the time to talk with them…to be with them…to spend some time with them and your bond will be even thicker.”
“I will remember that, Maggie. Thank you.”
“So… Kaylish. Do ya return her affections?”
Quinn looked away and nodded. “Came outta nowhere. My feelings, that is. Never thought another woman would replace my love for Evan. Ever. So it is… a pleasant surprise.”
“Good to hear. Then take that plate of food to her. See if ya can get her to eat a little Keep her drinkin’ water, lots of water. I’ll come by later to check on her, but fer now, I’m leavin’ her in yer capable hands, so be gentle with her.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Ya deserve love, Callaghan. What happened to Evan was a horrible, awful thing, but ya canna drag it around like a ball and chain forever. Ya have another chance at love. Take it while ya can.”
Rising, Quinn nodded. “I appreciate your honesty, as always.” Picking up the plate, Quinn headed to her quarters where Kaylish lay still sleeping.
Closing the door, Quinn pulled a stool up next to the bed and set the plate on her lap. “Hey,” she said quietly.
Kaylish’s eyes fluttered open. “Hey. I woke up and you were gone. Did I… scare you away?”
“Would take more than that to scare me away. Can you sit up?”
“I might need some help. My back is so sore. It still hurts to breathe. Two arrows? Are you sure that’s all? It feels like a dozen.”
“Been shot before, have you?”
Kaylish grinned. “Of course not.”
Setting the plate in the bed, Quinn helped Kaylish sit up.
“Thank you. I’ll try to be out of your quarters as soon as—”
“Why did you not tell me how you felt about me?” Setting the plate on Kaylish’s lap, Quinn leaned closer.
“I…” Kaylish started, then shook her head. “I’ve never loved another woman. I thought… I thought maybe I was missing some obvious signs on something, or I figured I would keep it to myself. If you ever felt something for me, I figured you would say so. I mean, it is your ship, after all.” Kaylish picked up the fish with two of her fingers.
“I see. Well, apparently, everyone else on board knew of your feelings. I must apologize for being so dim-witted.”
Kaylish placed her hand over Quinn’s. “No one would ever accuse of you of being dim-witted, Quinn Callaghan. These men respect you too much.”
Rising, Quinn leaned over and kissed Kaylish gently on the mouth. “And do you still feel that way.”
“You know I do.” Kaylish ran her fingertips over Quinn’s lips. “I’ve loved you far longer than you could imagine.”
Pulling away, Quinn pushed the plate close. “Maggie will kill me if she gets here and you’ve not eaten.”
“Food does not sound good.”
“No matter. You must eat.”
“And you?”
“I’ve eaten. I need to go up top soon. I just wanted to make sure you ate.”
“You’re afraid of her.”
“Aren’t you?”
Kaylish laughed, then regretted it. “Aside from the arrows, this has been an amazing experience, one I’ll never forget. I never expected to fall deeper in love with you, but watchi
ng you captaining this ship…” Kaylish ate more fish. “I’ve been captivated for two months. You’ve stolen my heart, Quinn Callaghan.”
Quinn stood and straightened her jerkin. “I like that. I’ll take good care of your heart.”
Kaylish smiled softly. “No you won’t. It’s not in your nature.”
Quinn cocked her head. “Excuse me?”
“M’lady has followed your exploits and adventures for some time now. I know about the tavern wench, the noblewoman, the Moroccan pirate, and the Scottish warrior. I’m quite certain there have been many between each one… maybe even during them. The loyalty you have for your men does not extend to your lovers. I understand that. I do not expect any more or any less from you. I’ll not be any more of a burden than I have already been.”
“Burden?” In one long stride, Quinn was at the bed and sat on the edge. “You saved my life. You saved Jacob’s life. You are no more a burden than I am.”
“You know my meaning. I’ll not expect to tie you to me. I will assume that when you wish to spend time with me, you will. Isn’t that how it works with you pirates?”
Quinn just stared at her a long time before replying. “Is that really how you see me?”
“Is that not how you are?”
Bowing her head, Quinn sighed. “I suppose so. I guess I never saw it like that.”
“We seldom see ourselves the way others see us.”
Standing, Quinn sighed once more. “I wish you saw me differently, but the truth is the truth, aye?” Quinn reached for the knob.
“Quinn?”
Slowly turning, Quinn locked eyes with Kaylish. “Aye?”
“I happen to like you just the way you are.”
With that, Quinn left her quarters and went to the wheel, where she took command of the ship and control of their destiny.
“That was excellent shooting,” Quinn said to Gallagher after she had practiced with her bow. “You’re getting better and better.”
Gallagher smiled for a moment before the smile fell from her face.
“What’s the matter?” Quinn asked, kneeling in front of her.
“Derry is gone.”
“Yes, he is.”
“And Kaylish?”
“Oh, honey, Kaylish isn’t gone. She’s in my room… getting better.”
Dead Man's Chest (The Plundered Chronicles Book 5) Page 17