“That is not a hard no.” She watched as he stood and stretched his arms over his head. She closed her eyes as she remembered how those arms felt around her.
“It’s not a soft yes.” She heard herself say. Opening her eyes she met his gaze. There was something there and she wondered what it was. The doorbell rang and she knew without a doubt who it was.
“If I asked you to stay in here, would you?” He shook his head.
“Please, I just need to talk to him. He is my friend and I don’t want him getting the wrong idea.” He stopped shaking his head.
“I don’t like it.” He said and then the doorbell rang again.
“I did not ask you to like it, I asked you to stay here.” She did not want Paul to think there was something wrong so she headed for the door.
“Are you okay?” He asked and she nodded. Jon’s truck was parked in front of her house and she knew that Paul had not missed it.
“Don’t ask because I don’t know.” And she really did not want to get into it at that moment. She saw Paul’s eyes look over her shoulder and she knew that Jon had not honored her request.
“I am just across the street.” He said and she knew that Jon had heard him. The tension between these two was touchable.
“I know, thank you.” London meant it, she hugged him and he hugged her back. Then he was going out the door. Why did she think Jon would do anything she asked him? He had proved how hard headed he could be with the restraining order. When she turned she saw Jon heading to the back door, he opened it and let Elsa in.
“What’s her name?”
“Elsa.” London answered him before moving into the kitchen. She was hungry and she needed to make sure that the dog had food. Jon followed her.
Ignoring him was proving to be hard but she tried. Making her a simple ham and cheese roll she faced him as she bit it.
“You wanted to talk to me earlier. Why?” That was the whole reason she had gone to the bar. It was also a last ditch attempt to keep him from releasing the videos.
“I don’t know, everything changed.” His words confused her.
“What do you mean?” She was not so sure she liked the way he said that.
“You are pregnant with my baby.” She could not really argue the facts so she kept her mouth closed. Her brain tried to get ahead of him, but she could not guess at what he was thinking. Or even what he was going to say next.
“You hate me and I can’t fix it.” London dropped her face to look at the counter. She had to fight hard to keep from telling him that she did not hate him. Several deep breaths later she was able to face him again.
“I don’t know what to say to that.” She admitted, and knew that it was very far from the truth.
She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but there was nothing that would ever come out of that. Instead she pushed those emotions down.
“Can I crash on your couch? I don’t want to go home.” There was so much written on his face and she did not want to read into it. She did not want him on her couch, but knowing where he was would make it easier for her to rest. She would not have to worry about him popping up.
“Whatever.” Was all she was going to say and then she was heading out of the kitchen.
“Do you want a pillow?” She asked as she reached the stairs.
“If you wouldn’t mind.” She heard him and ducked into the first bedroom at the top of the stairs. Yanking a pillow off of the bed she threw it back down the stairs and he caught it. There was not even a smile shared between them as she turned and made her way to her own bedroom.
Laying in her bed, Elsa at her feet she thought about what he could be thinking or feeling. He was such a mystery and she did not know what to expect from him from one moment to the next. She wondered if he had split personalities or maybe he was bi-polar. That would explain so much. Thoughts like that filled her brain as she drifted off to sleep.
ELEVEN
When her eyes opened in the morning she was looking at his back. He was asleep in her bed. This was not what she had agreed to.
“What are you doing?” She asked his back. He did not move.
“This spot is so comfortable. I promise I am not going to touch you.” The sleep was evident in his voice.
“This is not going to work, Jon.” She did not like the way her body reacted to him in her bed. She wanted him, but she was not going to let him know that. He rolled over then and she saw that he was still very tired.
“The couch was uncomfortable.” Jon gave the explanation like he thought that it made everything okay.
“Jon.” She had to get him to understand that this was not going to happen. His hand reached over and covered her belly. The contact had her moving away from him.
“I just want to touch the baby.” His eyes were closed as he said it.
“Then you are going to have to wait a few months.” The hand was not moving off of her body.
“How many?” Jon’s eyes never opened as he asked.
“I am five months pregnant.” She admitted to him. If he did the math he could have figured it out.
“Do you know what the baby is?” He asked as his hand moved over her skin causing her to close her eyes. This was not happening, if she told herself that maybe she would believe it.
“No. Will you stop touching me?” She reached for his hand but she really did not want to touch it.
“Is that a request?” She did not know what the difference would be. “Do you want me to stop touching you?” How could he ask her that. She was certain she had made herself very clear. His hand was moving over her stomach again and she felt something inside of her. She could not stay there with him like that or she was going to let him do more than touch her.
Pushing his hand off of her body she moved to get off the bed. That should answer his question loud and clear. In the bathroom she worked hard at getting her self back together. That man was crazy if he thought she was just going to jump right back into the frying pan. No that would be jumping into the fire. That made her remember how hot he was and that was not something that she needed to focus on.
Leaving the bathroom she went into her closet to change clothes. She caught sight of her panty drawer and shook her head. She had no reason to fear losing anymore to him. That was something that she promised herself.
Jon was still in the bed when she came out of the closet. She tried not to look at his bare chest. The man was too sexy for his own good.
Elsa jumped down from the bed and London followed her downstairs. She moved to let the dog out. When she turned she saw Shayla on her porch. Smiling she went to let the girl in.
“Hey, London.” Shayla greeted as she hugged London. The girl pulled back to rub her belly.
“Hey, Baby.” She said to London’s stomach and that made her smile.
“Are you hungry?” London asked as she made her way to the kitchen.
“No my dad fed me on the way over.” Shayla sat on a stool at her counter and spun it slowly from side to side. The action made London smile.
Jon came into the kitchen then and London watched as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. Shayla turned to him the moment that the shirt was back in place.
“Oh hey.” Shayla said to him before he moved to sit next to her on the stool.
“I’m Shayla.” Jon accepted her outstretched hand.
“Jon.” He smiled at her. London liked this side of him.
“Are you London’s boyfriend?” Shayla asked and London shook her head.
“No.” He admitted and she resisted the urge to look at him.
“London is my friend. All the kids at my school are jealous and they don’t believe that I am her friend.” The innocence of children, London thought. She would make sure that Shayla had evidence of their friendship before she left.
“Do you know the man that hurt her?” Shayla asked and London faced him then. “She was really sad and my dad said her heart was broken.”
“Shayla, would you like som
e ice cream?” London asked trying to get the girl to hush. She did not like the general direction this line of questions was taking.
“No, thank you.” Shayla said before turning back to Jon.
“So do you know him?”
“I do.” Jon said as his eyes met London’s.
“I bet you don’t like him.” Shayla said as she twirled on that stool.
“Not at the moment.” His eyes never left hers. She wanted to say something but was not sure what she should say.
“We are having a school dance.” Shayla said and just like that the subject changed. London had to admit that she was glad.
“I have to get a dress and my dad said he would take me shopping.” London could not break eye contact with Jon. There was so much in his eyes.
“Would you like me to design a one of a kind London Lane original for you?” London heard the words that were coming from her mouth, but she did not look away from him. She could not look away from him.
“Oh my God yes.” Shayla jumped up and ran to hug her.
“I have to go tell my dad. Bye, Jon.” She said as she raced through the house. London heard the door close behind her. They stayed there locked in that eye contact, neither one blinked.
“Was your heart broken?” Jon asked and she could not move, it was like she was in some kind of trance. Well if she was then he was too, because he was not moving.
“Jon.” She did not know what she wanted to say to him. To answer his question would be putting too much of her heart out there. London was not ready for that. She could not think when he was looking at her like that.
“London?” She heard the question in his voice. It was loud and clear he wanted to know and she could not tell him.
“I was hurt, scared, destroyed and if you can squeeze heart broke in there somewhere then go ahead.” She was in no mood to discuss that issue any further. Looking away made her feel a little better.
London could feel his eyes on her but she did not want to look at him. Elsa was back at the door so she went over to let her in. Jon stood also but stopped when he realized what she was doing. Elsa went to her food and water and London looked back to Jon.
“Will you let me come back tonight?” His question was uncertain. This was not a side of him that she could have ever imagined.
“What are you asking, Jon?” London did not want any mistakes or misunderstandings.
“I need to go home, but I want to come back. I want to talk to you but I can’t get it straight in my head.” She could understand that. She was having a hard time getting her thoughts together.
“I don’t know.” The truth was out and she did not mind it. She decided to make it a point to always be honest and blunt where he was concerned.
“I went to a very dark place when Nina left me. I sunk into a place so dark, I did not know if I could ever come back. I thought that was the worst place I had ever been in my entire life. That place was a walk in the park compared to the hell I spiraled into when I thought you had an abortion. It was all my fault.” London was not going to interrupt him because she did not feel the need. He wanted to get this off of his chest and she needed to let him.
“You were there so scared and alone and I was horrible. I couldn’t think, I just knew that I had to get you away from that place, before they killed my baby. Then I was arrested and you were inside. I died right there on that spot. You do not want to know the things I wanted to do to you. I tried to make you feel bad, but you ignored me. So I sent your dad that video. I was so deep in the darkness and nothing was going to bring me out of it. Then you were there. I just want to hold you right now.” He took a step toward her and she stepped back shaking her head. There was no way she wanted him touching her. She was sure she would forget everything and they would end up in bed. His eyes closed and she watched as he struggled to get him self back together.
“I saw that you hadn’t done it. My baby was still safe. I had to touch you, I had to touch the baby. That did it, London, that gave me a reason to live again. So, please, let me come back in.”
His vulnerability was her undoing. She could not imagine being in his shoes. It was not smart to think that way, but she could not be the bad one. It was not in her nature. This man had so easily taken over her heart. She knew that she should be careful, keep him at a distance. Her heart wanted her to just let things happen.
“Okay.” London could not believe that she had agreed to that. How could she not? After everything that he had just told her. She wanted to go to him then and hug him, tell him that it was going to be okay. She wouldn’t, because she did not want to lie to him. There was too much between them to just kiss and make up.
When he turned to leave she watched him go. The thought that he would be coming back was enough to keep her in her spot.
Later that afternoon she sat at her dining table. Music blasting through the house, she tried to work on the dress for Shayla. The pencil drifted across the sheet, she had never designed a dress for a kid before. There were so many things that had to be considered.
Thinking about Shayla made her smile. That little girl was so happy. Her doorbell rang and she saw Paul and Shayla through the glass. Smiling she made her way to them.
“I had a case come up.” Paul said as they entered. Shayla moved to Elsa and rubbed her head.
“Can she stay here for a little while?”
“Of course.” London did not like the way his smile did not quite reach his eyes.
“Thank you.” Then he was turning and leaving the house. London watched him as he walked down the steps. Something was bothering him and she wished she knew what it was.
“What are you doing?” Shayla asked following her into the dining room.
“Working on your dress.” That got the girl’s attention. She moved to the table and looked at all the sketches laid out there. Lifting one she smiled at London.
“I like this one.” London snatched the sketch from her fingers.
“That one is a grown ups dress.” It was one of the ideas she had come up with for Lonna Hughes, but it had been passed over. That seemed like so long ago. The dress she had done for Lonna had been a success. Several hundred had been ordered after the gala.
“For someone with boobs, like you.” Shayla’s words made her smile. That was just something she was going to have to get used to. The song changed but London did not notice. This little girl was so good for her soul.
“Do kids really have the internet?” That was not something that she ever really thought about.
“Yes, and it is amazing the stuff you can find on it.”
“I think I will pass.” The next hour was spent with Shayla talking a mile a minute about the ideas she had for her dress. London was happy to just go with her ideas and sketch them out. Shayla got up once to let Elsa out. Then London heard the door bell ring. Thinking it was Jon she hurried to the door.
The woman on the other side of the door did not look happy. Shayla came into the room then.
“Mom.” That would explain who she was, but not why she looked so upset.
“Hi, Shay, can you go wait for me in the car?” Shayla hugged London before she went to do exactly as her mother asked. The other woman waited until Shayla was in her car before she looked back to London.
“Thank you, but Paul has been shot.” The air left London’s lungs then and she did not know what to say.
“Is he?” She could not bring herself to ask that question.
“He is in the hospital, I am headed there now.” Then the woman was moving toward the door. London opened it for her and waited as she passed. There were no words as the woman passed by her.
Closing the door she allowed the tears to fall from her eyes. Paul was her friend and she had every right to be worried about him. The song changed and she went to turn it off. In the den she turned on the tv and waited for the news to pop up. It was right there as breaking news.
This had to be the worst thing she had ever heard in her life. S
itting there she watched the people and tried to listen to what they were saying. Paul had always been such a good friend to her and she did not want anything to happen to him.
London was not sure how long she sat there just watching the faces on the screen. She was not hearing the words.
“London.” She heard Jon call her name from the door, but she did not move. She could see him moving toward her in her peripheral vision, but she did not look away from the screen. Jon came to stand next to her and he turned to look at the screen.
“Critical condition.” The reporter said and she dropped her head into her hands. She did not want Jon here at the moment. She wanted to be at the hospital with Paul. Jon did not move she could tell because she was looking at his feet.
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