“I said it, Jon, yes I did. But you went and destroyed that too.” Those words hit their mark, she saw his shoulders drop.
When his cell phone rang she stood up. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at it.
“Angel number eight?” London said before she turned and headed for the door.
“London.” He called and she heard the hurt in his words. At that moment she did not care. She left him out there with his phone call and her dog.
As she entered the house she heard Shayla cry out and so she ran up to the room. The poor girl was having a nightmare. London went to her and gently tried to wake her up. Shayla’s eyes came open and she was shaking. It took her a second to remember where she was.
“London.” She called before snuggling into her arms. “My dad.” The girl was crying now.
“Is going to be fine.” Oh how she hoped he was. Shayla pulled back from her then.
“Really?” There was so much hope in that word.
“Yes, your mom called and said that he came through the surgery fine, they are going to watch him tonight pretty close.” Shayla hugged her again. And then pushed away. She smiled at London and it was so sweet.
“Can I call my mom?” Shayla asked and London handed her the cell phone. Standing she made her way out into the hall, she wanted to give the girl some privacy.
Shayla and Jon came into the kitchen at the same time. Shayla returned London’s cell phone and then sat atop one of the stools. As usual she spun it from side to side.
“I am hungry.” Shayla said and London smiled, she had just been about to ask. She remembered how Shayla had liked pizza when they went out that one time.
“I can order pizza.” London said and looked to Jon he was looking at Shayla.
“I love pizza, but no vegetables.” Her little nose turned up. “Vegetables on pizza is just wrong.”
Jon pulled out his phone and ordered the pizza. It made London a little uncomfortable to have him do that. She was not sure why, but it did.
Shayla was very comfortable with Jon and vise versa. Whenever he smiled at Shayla it was genuine. London met his gaze as he laughed at Shayla. The young girl was unaware of the tension between them. Jon pressed his lips together and she wondered what he was thinking. Was it fair to keep him there? After all she did not think there was a future there. Of course she knew that they were going to be in each other’s lives for a long time. Did her allowing him to stay give him the wrong idea? Would he think she was just using him? Was that what she was doing?
“Do you, London?” She brought her attention back to Shayla.
“What?” London asked.
“Do you dance?” She really wished she had paid more attention to the conversation. Instead of worrying about what he was thinking.
“Sure. Why?” London looked to Jon and did not miss the smile that lit up his eyes. Oh she should have been paying attention.
“I have that school dance, Silly, and I don’t know how to dance.” When London looked at him, he winked at her. She did not like the direction this was going. Shayla jumped up and ran to the stereo control panel. Jon stood and came to where she was sitting. He held out his hand to her. What had she missed?
“I am not tall enough to dance with him, so you will have to show me.” Shayla explained and London did not want to do this.
There was a smile on Shayla’s face and she did not want to be the one that made it fall. She did not want to be touched by him either. Standing she ignored his hand.
“I don’t think this is such a good idea.” London said as she made to clear her mess from the table.
“Oh come on.” Shayla coaxed as she took the stuff from London and put it back on the table.
“Just show me a few steps. We can’t dance close together.” Shayla put London’s hand in Jon’s outstretched one. She did not like this one little bit.
Jon took her hands and placed them on his shoulders, then he put his hands on her waist. She felt his thumbs on her stomach. The smile on his face had her defenses rising.
“Can’t be too close together.” He said as he started moving them. In all honesty this was too close for her. After a few minutes Shayla stood.
“Is that it? All you are doing is moving in a circle. I can do that.” London was going to trade places with her but Shayla was moving to the music panel. She pushed a few buttons and a slow song filled the air. It did not matter because they stayed just like they were and turned in a slow circle. London tried not to look at him, but it was hard. She heard Shayla move to the back door and she knew that she was letting Elsa out.
Jon pulled her against him then and she was too weak to resist. When his head dipped down and touched her lips, she leaned into him. She wanted him to kiss her. His mouth was gentle as his hands slid around to her back. He was pulling her closer, his mouth never leaving hers.
“Hey.” Shayla said coming to separate them. “That is too close.”
London pushed away from him then and turned her back to him. The tears were coming and she could not stop them. He reached for her and turned her to face him. There were no words as she met his eyes. She had wanted that as much if not more than he had. It just could not happen. There was no way she was going to kid herself. Shaking her head slowly she walked around him and up the stairs. She could not deal with anything else today.
There were so many emotions racing through her. The shower was meant to clear her mind, it did help. When she checked on Shayla she saw that the girl was asleep in the guest bedroom. In the kitchen she cleaned up the mess and let Elsa in. Then she was heading back upstairs.
TWELVE
Jon was in her bed again when the sun came up. She studied his sleeping face. She liked his short beard. She wanted to reach out and touch it, but resisted.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked not opening his eyes.
“Why do you keep getting in my bed?” That was not what he wanted to talk about she was sure of that.
“It is a comfortable bed.” He said and then his eyes opened. She had to admit that he had the best eyes.
“This can’t happen, Jon.”
“Why?” His voice was so low.
“Seriously?” That was all she could think at the moment. He could not seriously think that this would happen. His hand came out and touched her cheek. She pulled away from him.
“Don’t touch me.” She would love to know how many times she had said that to him. The man was so hard headed. His hand did not give up, he wrapped it around her arm and slid across the bed toward her. The closeness of him made her want him. What the hell was wrong with her?
“Why can’t I touch you? You used to like it when I touched you.” His mouth touched her shoulder and she swallowed hard. She had to get control of the situation.
“That was before you hurt me.” His head came up and he looked deep into her eyes. It was so hard to look into his eyes and see the desire there. He wanted her and she would admit that she wanted him just as much, if she was being honest.
“Just let me kiss you, one time, London, and if you still hate me, then I will never touch you again.”
“No, Jon.” But he wasn’t taking no for an answer. Instead he brought his mouth to hers so gently and she tried to resist him. His hand came off of her arm and moved up to cup her cheek. When she did not resist him he pressed against her. His lips working over her mouth. The desire was strong between them and she closed her eyes tight. Keeping her lips tight only seemed to encourage him. She felt the tears burn her eyes. She was not ready for this. Her heart screamed for him, but her brain was quickly winning that war. His hand was under her shirt on her baby, well his baby too. He was moving up her skin until he closed over a bare breast.
London felt her body arch into his hand and tried so very hard to stop herself. He was caressing her and kissing her and she wanted him to finish this. The tears begged to get out and she tried so hard to keep them in.
The internal war was making her hate herself. Wh
en he moved his hand to her center she froze. She could not let this happen.
“Jon, please.” She did not try to keep the sadness from her voice. He opened his eyes and met hers, he saw the tears there. Closing his eyes he removed his hand from down there and placed it on her belly.
“I wish you would call me Whiskey.” She could only guess at what he meant by that, at the moment she did not want him to explain. She needed to get up from there and check on Shayla. She needed to take the girl to the hospital.
“I can’t.” That was the person that had hurt her. That was the man that tried to destroy her. Yes they were one in the same, but to her there was a difference.
“It hurts too much.” If she started to think of Jon as Whiskey then she would probably hate him. That did not make sense to her and she wondered if maybe she was a bit bi-polar.
Jon rolled over to his back then and covered his eyes with an arm. She did not know if he understood what she meant, and at that moment she did not care.
After she used the bathroom she went into her closet to dress. There was so much that she needed to figure out. So much that just did not make since. Maybe she should seek professional help.
Shayla was still sleeping, so London made her way to the kitchen to let Elsa out. Checking her cell phone she was glad that she did not have any missed calls. The doorbell rang and she went to see who it was. Her heart stopped when she saw her father through the glass.
“Casey called me.” He said as an explanation when she opened the door. Coming in he hugged her and kissed her on the head. Jon was at the top of the steps pulling a shirt over his head. Her father did not miss it. He ran a hand through his hair and looked at her again.
“Please tell me that is not Jon Tango.” Her father still held her by her arms. She saw the door to her guest bedroom open and Shayla came out.
“Dad, I am sorry, but it is not what you think.” In all honesty she had no idea what he was thinking. Shayla came bouncing down the stairs. London accepted the hug from her and the rub on her belly.
“Hi I am Shayla, I live across the street.” Then she was moving over to Jon and giving him a hug. Luther Lane did not have a nice word or even look for Jon and she did not expect him to.
“Are you London’s dad?” Shayla asked and London was relieved to see his smile.
“I am.” Well at least he was not disowning her.
“So you are Luther Lane?” Shayla’s excitement was a bit contagious.
“Yes.” Then his gaze met Jon’s and the smile was gone from his face. It was returned when he looked back to Shayla.
“My dad got shot yesterday.” There was a bit of sadness in her tone. “But London said he is going to be okay.” Then Shayla was moving to let Elsa in.
“Shot?” Her father asked as his eyes met hers.
“He is a detective.” London said and was glad when Jon went into the kitchen. The tension in her father was replaced with concern.
“Your neighbor?” When she nodded he continued. “I saw it on the news. Is he going to be okay?”
“His wife said that they had to watch him really close overnight, and I have not talked to her this morning.” Elsa came over to them and her father rubbed the dog.
“When did you get a dog?” That made her smile.
“It is a long story and I will tell you about it later.” London did not have to see him to know that Jon was back in the same room. Her father’s eyes would have killed the man where he stood. She could not imagine what her dad was thinking. Honestly she really did not want to know.
“You know what.” She heard her father say and he was moving to where Jon was. She prayed that he would not make a scene in front of Shayla. He stopped and turned to her with his lips set in a tight line. Shaking his head he spun back around.
“Outside.” He ordered and Jon was heading out there. London looked to Shayla.
“Call your mom and ask her when we can come over.” London said to Shayla and followed them outside.
“What kind of bastard does what you did to my daughter?” He was angry she saw it in every inch of his being. Jon had no answer for him. London stopped just outside the door. She did not want Shayla to hear any of this.
“She trusted you.” Luther ground out through clenched teeth. Jon never once looked away from her father.
“That meant nothing to you, because you were pissed off at me.” She heard his voice getting louder with each word. Jon remained quiet.
“Why didn’t you just come after me? Or are innocent women more your style?” He was very loud and London just wanted him to calm down. She went to her father and placed her hands on his shoulders. He turned to look at her and she swallowed. There was more than just anger on his face, he was hurt.
It bothered him that Jon had used her to get back at him. Well she could imagine that it would bother any father. She prayed that Jon would not say anything. This man had a tight control on himself at that moment and if Jon said anything, she was sure it would snap.
“I am sorry, London.” He said before he kissed her on the head and walked back into the house. She looked at Jon then and took a deep breath. That went better than she thought that it would. It hurt her deeply to know that her father still blamed himself for Jon’s actions.
“My dad wants to talk to you.” Shayla said as she came out onto the back porch. She held the phone out, London took it.
“Hello.”
“Thank you.” It was Paul and she breathed a sigh of relief. The emotion threatened to push up again and she tried to keep it down.
“Hearing your voice is thanks enough.” London said as she headed into the house. She needed to make sure that her father had left.
“Shayla wants to come and see me.”
“We both do.” She admitted. This man was one of her friends and she cared about him. She had not just said that to Jon, she meant it.
“I can’t wait.” He said and that made her smile.
“See you soon.” London said and then ended the call. When she turned she saw Jon. Obviously he had just been standing there watching her. There was nothing on his face that she could read. He looked so blank at that moment. He had to have split personalities. Shayla was in the backyard with Elsa.
“It seems like every person in your life hates me.” That was probably the truth and she was not going to try to change his mind.
“They have good reason.” Trying to be nice did not help her when it came to him. So maybe just being blunt would do the trick.
“The thing is I don’t care how any of them feel.” She could believe that.
“I probably should, but I don’t. The only person that matters to me is you. How do you feel?” He did not move as he spoke. She watched as Shayla came up the steps.
“I am hurt.” It was simple, but it was the truth.
“I need to take her to see her father.” The man never blinked.
“Is that what it is going to be like for us? You bringing the baby to see me. Pretending like you never had any feelings for me.” This was not going to get them anywhere.
“I would not be pretending, Jon. I did have feelings for you. That is just something that we have to deal with when it comes.” Shayla opened the door and London smiled at her.
“Let’s go see your dad.” London said to her before taking a deep breath. She needed to put some space between them.
“Is Jon coming too?” Shayla asked as London got her things together.
“No, he has some stuff to take care of.” London did not look away from him as she said it. He nodded slightly and then he was heading for the door.
“Hey, you didn’t give me a hug.” Shayla called running after him. He stopped and hugged her.
“What if something happened to you and I didn’t get that hug?” The little ones shall lead them. London walked to where they stood and waited for him to stand. When he did she wrapped her arms around him. He did not know what to do at first she could tell. Shayla ran off to the kitchen.
“She is right, something could happen and I would have to live with the last thing I said to you. I don’t want that on my heart.” No matter what he was her babies father and she should try to remember that.
“Will you let me in if I come by later?” Jon asked not releasing her. She knew that she would, there was no way she couldn’t.
“Maybe.” She said with a smile.
“There is a football game on tonight that I want to see.” The memories those words stirred up inside of her were almost her undoing. She was sure that he could see the color rise up in her face.
“Then, no, you might want to watch that at home.” She was joking with him and she liked the smile that lifted his lips.
Whiskey Tango Page 10