Fortunately, I had been working on a Plan B, which I moved up in our schedule post haste. By the time I exited the bathroom, I told them to clear their schedule for Tuesday. I spent the rest of my morning in the bedroom/office to make the arrangements.
Even more fortunately, our current schedule had tired us so effectively that, even though I put it off for as long as humanly possible, we all crashed hard early that Sunday. Gabby turned in before ten, and Eli was ready to follow suit. I told him I wanted to keep reading my book, which meant I stared at the same page for an hour without reading one word. I was asleep in one of the recliners in the media room when he came looking for me. He picked me up in those big strong arms and carried me to bed, where I fell asleep in my clothes.
The next day Eli had some business at the studio that required his attention. He didn’t want to go but I needed to get rid of him, so I encouraged it. Basically I kicked him out so Gabby and I could have a girl’s day, completely with a mani/pedi and face masks.
I figured this was the perfect time to get to know her. After a week, I had some questions. “Tell me about your mom,” I said, almost off-hand.
She shrugged as she painted my nails a bright shade of purple. “She’s a mom. Spends most of her time telling me what I’m doing wrong. For my own good,” she added. I could tell by her tone that she was repeating something her mother likely said frequently, but Gabby herself wasn’t completely convinced. “I can’t wait until I’m sixteen.”
“Why sixteen?”
“Then we can be friends. Like her and Beth,” she said, referencing her older half-sister. “They go shopping together. They get makeovers together, like this. But they tell me I’m too young.”
Her pout told me everything. I bet she heard that a lot as a tween. Not quite a little kid, but not quite a maturing adolescent. Stuck somewhere in biological limbo, where her body was speeding along, and everyone else preferred she stay a little girl, without letting her be who Gabby wanted to be, which she was figuring out as she went along. “I don’t think you’re too young,” I said. “Look at those nails. I’m going to have to fire my current girl.”
She laughed. “I’m glad Eli picked you,” she said. “You’re funny.”
I chuckled. If she only knew.
“I was surprised,” she confessed softly. “I mean, he sings about… you know. But he’s never dated anyone who wasn’t… you know.”
She was trying hard to be polite. “I know,” I said, letting her off the hook.
“My mom swears it’s not real,” she confessed at last. “She said Eli would never settle for anything less than perfection. That’s why he’s never stayed in a relationship before. The minute he finds a flaw, he’s out of there.”
“Is that so?” I murmured.
She nodded. Then she gave me a reassuring smile. “Guess that means he thinks you’re perfect.”
Again I laughed. “Not hardly. But neither is your brother.”
Gabby smirked, just like her brother. “Don’t tell him that.” We both got a good chuckle out of that one. “Love is hard,” she declared. “But Mom says I’m too young for that, too.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” I mused. “I had my first crush when I was about your age.”
“Yeah?” she asked. I nodded. “What was he like?”
“He was charming. And beautiful. And funny. And way too old for me. I have an older sister, too. Technically he was her boyfriend, but she was still playing the field, so I felt like he deserved better.”
“You,” she supplied. I nodded again. “What happened?”
My heart dropped at the question. I hadn’t thought about Wyatt in a long, long time, and I certainly never talked about him. The scars were still too fresh, even all these years later. I had talked to Clem about it in the first month after I got to L.A., when I bolted from Brandon the night after we slept together. He was a good guy, and I was in serious danger of liking him too much, and that was a painful position for me. She didn’t let up until she found out why.
Personally I preferred to keep that shit in the past where it belonged. There it could no longer hurt me. “He didn’t know I existed,” I found myself answering Gabby’s question anyway. “That’s why they call them crushes.”
She nodded, as if she emphasized. “I have a Wyatt,” she confessed softly as we traded spots so I could do her nails. “His name is Michael. And he’s crazy about Beth.”
“Ouch,” I winced.
“Does it ever stop hurting?” she asked.
My eyes met hers. “Eventually. You’re going to meet a lot of guys in your life, Gabby. Someone will help you forget.”
“Like Eli did with you,” she surmised. I gulped, neither confirming nor denying. “I don’t know. I can’t think of anyone else I’d like any better. Boys my age are so stupid. And mean.”
“They grow out of that,” I said, though it was a lie. Her brother was living proof that some men remained adolescent jerks all the way into adulthood. But he wasn’t a jerk to her, and I felt the need to protect that image. I knew her heart would shatter if she knew the truth.
The poor kid was clearly going through enough.
“You’ve got plenty of time,” I tried to assure, but she only scowled at me.
“You sound like my mom.” Ouch again. She promptly put me in my place. “They teach us from the time we’re old enough to watch a movie or read a book that Prince Charming is coming, and he’ll make all our dreams come true. Then, when we find one, we’re told we’re too ‘young’ for a happily ever after. But they never give us any new dreams to fill the place of the old ones. It’s very confusing.”
I didn’t want to tell her that “they” would never stop finding things that girls are “too” this or that for, to deny us our happy endings, like we somehow didn’t deserve it anymore because we’re not perfect. It starts with too young, then it becomes too fat, too thin, too loud, too quiet, too timid, too bold, too chaste, too slutty, too ugly, too pretty… until finally we’re too old, and we get put out to pasture like any brood mare who was no longer useful.
I couldn’t shatter that dream either.
“‘They’ will always try to make you feel like a half-person, who will never be complete until you have a man to validate you. But ‘they’ are full of shit. You are an amazing person all on your own. The right person will see that. It’ll turn all those things that are too much into just right.”
That was of the dream anyway. Or the fear.
Potato, potahto.
“That doesn’t make it any easier when you’re the only one in your class who doesn’t get a Valentine’s Day card from a boy.”
God, I wanted to hug this kid. I wanted to protect her from the cruel and evil world. Suddenly Eli and I were on the very same page.
It made me even happier that I had arranged an epic day for her that following week. Eli glanced at me when he spotted the charter bus outside in the circular drive. “What’d you do?”
I smiled. “You’ll see.”
We boarded the bus, which stopped at FFF, where another group of people got on. In fact, a lot of people got on, namely some of our faithful regulars bringing every kid they could find, whether they were brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, granddaughters, grandsons, nieces or nephews. In Clem’s case, they were her famous friends’ kids.
She brought Leah Riley, the sister of Fierce rocker Jonah Riley, who was joined by Jonathan Fullerton, the adolescent heir to the Fullerton family fortune. Along with these older kids, Clem brought Cody Abernathy, the son of another Fierce contestant, Lacy Abernathy, and Renata and Dante Carnevale, the young children of Fierce judge, Giovanni Carnevale.
These kids, along with all the regulars we had gotten to know through various FFF events, all wore their mouse ears for an epic, fun-filled day at Disneyland.
Eli’s stunned eyes met mine. “With so many kids, there’s no way they can single her out and make her the news story. Especially with kids along who are already f
amous,” I pointed out, as I gestured to Clem’s group. “Just like our games and fundraisers, we’re simply along for the ride.”
He was so blown away he couldn’t speak, instead conveying his overwhelming gratitude in a tight bear hug.
The day only got better from there. We practically dominated the park when we got there, as our group enjoyed the happiest place on earth to the fullest. We rode as many rides as we could, we ate as much junk as possible, and that night, we watched the fireworks under the stars. It had been an amazing day, one where Eli had gone all out as one of the hosts of the events. He carried kids, and escorted bathroom breaks. He kept a head count and managed to steer our little clown car of fun even when kids got grouchy, tired and restless.
He even changed diapers. Not sure how anyone convinced him to do that.
But he paid attention evenly to all the children present, so that no one could detect that Gabby was there with us. They shared covert smiles to indulge their secret alliance, which added to the day.
Jonathan proved a huge ego-booster for Gabby. Though there were a few years between them, and he would clearly grow up to be as handsome and powerful as his father, Drew, or his uncle, Alex, having been groomed for a life beyond all our dreams, even the wealthiest among us, he quickly found a kindred spirit in Gabby. He made sure to include her in all the fun. He was a complete gentleman, who made sure to make her feel important… like she alone was special, despite the crowd. They laughed a lot, and she quickly became his sidekick of choice for all the scarier rides for the older kids.
He had a big heart, that kid. As if he singled out who might need kindnesses the most, and proceeded to give them just that.
Gabby was just as fearless as her brother, and Jonathan responded well to that. They had a few shared secrets of their own by the end of the day.
By the time we reached the fireworks, we were all exhausted but happy. Eli wore a wistful smile as he watched the show explode overhead, and the uplifting music play around us. I leaned into him.
“You know what you were saying about being a dad?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
My eyes met his. “I think you’re going to be great.”
He smiled. “Yeah?” I nodded. His smile softened as he looked around at our brood. He wrapped that arm around me even tighter. “Yeah,” he finally agreed. He kissed me softly, which made the fireworks overhead a bit superfluous.
Since we were in public, I could let myself give in to the fantasy, so I did. For once I wasn’t too anything. I was just right… kissing my prince under the shadow of a fairy tale castle.
Of course I knew the clock was still clicking. Fairy tales ended, and I was sadly privy to when I’d read the last chapter of this particular book.
For one moment, though, I forgot. I forgot and I pretended, and I dreamed that what I wanted most could really come true.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Eli didn’t let go of my hand as the charter bus finally dropped the three of us at our destination. He carried a sleepy Gabby into the house, and I locked up behind us. He carried her all the way to bed, where we changed her from her clothes into her jammies, without her even waking up. We left the mouse ears, though, and shared a smile as we did so.
He took my hand and led me from the room. The minute I shut the door, he pulled me into his arms.
“Thank you for the perfect day,” he said as he held me close.
“Thank you for being such a great host. The kids had an amazing time.”
His smile was soft. “So did I.” His voice dropped a little lower. “How about you, Carly? Did you have a good time?”
I thought about the rides, the laughter… the kiss under the fireworks. I smiled. “It was magical.”
“You deserve a little magic, Carly Reynolds,” he decided. I laughed, but he remained serious. “How about a perfect kiss to end the perfect night?” he asked.
My eyebrow arched. “You’re asking permission?”
He swept me into his arms. “Maybe this time I wasn’t sure you’d say yes.”
I lost myself in those incredible eyes. Finally I leaned forward and kissed him softly as he carried me to our bedroom.
I couldn’t get close enough as he carried me carefully down the stairs, kicking open the door to our room before using his shoulder to slam it shut again. He didn’t stop until we fell onto the bed together. His mouth was everywhere. He was kissing me, and then he was trailing it towards my ear, going straight for the spot he had already figured out was my “On” button. I gasped underneath him, before sliding my hands up under his shirt, spread vast against his smooth, taut skin. He took my face in both his hands and kissed me again deeper, as frustrated as I was that we couldn’t get any closer.
“I want you so bad, Carly,” he growled against my lips. “Tell me you want me too.”
While my brain scrambled to remember that we needed to throw on the brakes, my heart ran with it. “I want you. God help me. I want you.”
It was all he needed. His hands slid down my body, grasping my shirt and pulling it out of the way so we could get skin to skin at last. I grabbed it and pulled it over my head, desperate for the same. He stared down at my body, his finger trailing the lace of my bra. He couldn’t even speak as he dove in, his warm mouth against my cool skin. I wound my hand in his thick hair, urging him to the painfully hard peak of my breast. He needed little encouragement. When his mouth closed over the nipple through the thin, lacy fabric of my bra, I cried out a little. His tongue made lazy, white-hot circles around the sensitive peak before he switched sides, using his thumb to pay attention to which ever breast was not in his mouth.
I reached behind to release the fastener. I couldn’t stand this tease for one second longer. I needed to feel his mouth on my body. He cupped both bare breasts in his hands, studying them, examining them, touching them, and finally… kissing them.
Who needed park fireworks? My head tipped back as pleasure exploded in my brain like a nuclear bomb. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, he trailed his mouth down my body, over the slight curve of my stomach and over my jeans. His eyes met mine as he used his teeth to unfasten them, much like I had done him before.
He exacted his revenge slowly, sliding down the zipper, and kissing the delicate parts of my stomach as he pulled my jeans away. He left my matching lacy underwear as he peeled away the denim. I opened my legs wider as he positioned himself between my thighs, planting playful nips and kisses along the sensitive skin until my legs quivered. “Eli,” I murmured as he finally reached my core. His hot breath turned icy against my skin, dancing around me as he planted tantalizing kisses. I grabbed his hair in one fist. “Please.”
Looping a finger in either side, he pulled my panties down over my hips, which I adjusted. There was fire in his eyes as he pulled them down my legs and ripped them from my body. He used those strong hands to part my thighs, and then he dove right in. He pinpointed my clit with his long tongue, its tip firm and sure as it swirled around the painfully erect little nub. I shuddered all over, but he wasn’t done. Not by a long shot. He sucked my clit into his mouth and flicked his tongue over it as he watched me squirm underneath him. I was mortified as I shuddered hard around him, coming almost instantly. It was the first time I had ever done that. It never took me long to get there, particularly when I focused all the attention on the clit, but within seconds? It was like my body was waiting for him way before my heart knew he existed. Before I could apologize, he clamped down even harder and we rode every unending spasm all the way to #2. I clutched the sheets with both hands as I undulated beneath him, unable to control my body even if I wanted to. At that moment, I was a slave. And he was my master.
Had I really thought that he wouldn’t know what to do with me when he finally got me?
My brain urged that nothing good could come of this. The rest of my body told it to shut the fuck up. I hadn’t come in a long time, and we were racing along to #3.
Eli savored the mo
ment. He must have known I was merely a puppet on his string. He slipped a finger inside me, racking up orgasms like record sales, and I could practically hear the cash register cha-ching after each one.
That was when reason started to kick in. Money. I was giving away money. This wasn’t just a feel-good jump in the sack, casual sexy fun. I was giving away security with every ring of the bell. I’d walk away from this whole sham of a relationship with nothing, no money, no self-respect, no FFF… no heart. It was inevitable. This wasn’t a real relationship. It had been a ruse. A game.
Fake.
Just like our time at the park, this was all make believe. I had to put on the brakes. I had to. Oh my God it felt so good... but I had to.
“Eli,” I managed, my voice hoarse from all the screaming. He crawled up my body and planted a kiss on my mouth, so I could surely know what failure tasted like. “Please. Stop. I need a minute.”
He shook his head, nudging my nose with his as he toyed with my lips. “You’ve had months. You’re not turning me away again, Carly.” He kissed me harder, his hand circling one breast and squeezing it tight. “I’ve got to be inside you.”
It was all I wanted. I could practically feel him as my muscles contracted, still haywire after four massive orgasms. “Eli, no.”
“Why not?” he persisted as he kissed me. “Why fight it, if it’s what we both want?”
I could barely hear his soft words over the thunderous pounding of my heart. “Because it’s not real,” I managed.
“It’s not?” he asked as he rubbed that rock hard body against me. “Feel me, Carly. Feel I want you. For real,” he added.
I groaned. What was he doing to me? “For now,” I corrected, trying to remember that long list I used to have, of reasons why I could never let myself sleep with Eli Blake. “What happens in January?”
He growled in frustration. “It’s June. Why do we have to worry about that now?”
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