Kendra was great at keeping me in line when I got too distracted with my social life, and I helped her to get out and have a little more fun instead of staying inside to study all the time. We shared enough similarities that we could have been related, and our personality strengths complimented each other well. Kendra was like the sister I’d never had, yet always wanted.
During our sophomore year, we decided to share an apartment, and have lived together nonstop from that point on. We shared many of the same college classes, especially now that we were both in the business graduate program at the university.
"Don't worry, I'll get it done. There's no way I'm letting you finish your MBA before I do." I winked at Kendra as I sat down on the bed, "We're marching across the commencement stage together. My graduation pictures won't be as cute without a best friend to share them with."
"We're in it together, only seven months to go." Kendra tilted her head, put a hand on her hip, and flashed a beauty queen smile, "I'm sure that we’ll rock those graduation gowns better than anyone else in the grad program!"
"You'd better believe it, girl! Now, help me decide what to wear tonight. Too bad everyone has to wear those funky bowling shoes at the bowling alley; my new shoes look so cute with these jeans."
Kendra walked over and started rifling through our shared closet. The great thing about having a roommate like her was the fact that our clothing options doubled since we wore the same size.
I tried on a few different outfits while Kendra lounged on her bed, offering feedback on each one. Finally, I found a good combination of comfortable and cute: a pair of white jeans that fit my hourglass shape perfectly, paired with a baby blue blouse and blue ballet flats.
I sat down in front of our full length mirror and started to put on my makeup and straighten my long, blonde hair. The blue blouse complimented my dark blue eyes, and I decided to wear long silver and blue earrings to finish the look.
"So, who's this Jordan guy anyway?" Kendra sat up on the bed and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Do you have any interest in him, or are you just playing him like the rest of the guys in your lineup?"
I gasped, and pretended to be offended. "Hey, you make me sound like a tramp. I'm just having fun, and I'm completely up-front with all of them. They all know that I'm not looking for a committed relationship right now."
I knew that I wanted to finish my master’s degree before getting into a serious relationship again. My memories briefly scanned back two years ago to my last serious boyfriend, Keaton. He was a great guy, but I shuddered as I thought about the fact that I had been so in love with being in love, that I’d been blind to who he really was.
The relationship had started out great, but over time he became more and more controlling. He wanted to get married, and I was head-over-heels in love... so I went along with it.
He was easy on the eyes and a smooth talker, and while we were dating, I was oblivious to the fact that he was looking for a blonde-hair-blue-eyes trophy wife to pay the bills while he played his video games every night.
He was the type of guy who always got what he wanted, and I didn't realize how controlling he was. Both Kendra and my parents tried to voice their concerns, but I was so in love, I didn’t want to hear any criticisms about Keaton. My dad tried to open my eyes to the fact that Keaton could have worked a job while going to school, or at least in the summers, but was very content to let me work and pay for everything when we went out.
When I started talking about applying to the MBA program, I finally realized that the main reason he wanted to get married was because he wanted me to work full-time and support him while he went to school. There would be no time for me to finish my MBA. He told me that I would be able to complete my MBA after he got his degree and started working. But, until then, I should take on the financial responsibilities for us so that he could concentrate on getting good grades, as good grades would help him get a better paying job in the future.
Luckily, I came to my senses and broke up with him before the wedding. When I found out that Keaton had approached my parents about financing the entire wedding, including paying for our honeymoon as well as the travel expenses and tuxedo rentals for his best man and groomsmen, I finally had my eyes opened.
Dumping Keaton was one of the most difficult decisions of my life, because I thought I was really in love with him. My parents and Kendra were very supportive of my decision; Kendra even helped return things, cancel the caterer, and send out letters to family and friends who had been invited to the wedding. Initially, it was really hard, answering all of the questions from our friends, and dealing with my inner voice that oftentimes questioned whether or not I could really judge a guy’s character. Looking back on it now, there are no doubts in my mind that I made the right decision.
After our breakup, I vowed to avoid serious relationships until I finished school. Getting my MBA became even more important to me after Keaton, and I promised myself that I would pursue that goal above all else. That didn’t mean that I magically forgot that guys existed. Instead of looking for a steady boyfriend, I was enjoying a fun college life, hanging out with a lot of different friends... and totally taking advantage of the free meals when guys asked me out.
"It's good that you’re being honest with them about your intentions," Kendra giggled. "I just don't want to see you leaving a trail of broken hearts behind you." She put the back of her hand to her forehead, and swooned as she fell backwards onto the bed to lie back down again.
"Don't worry; they all know that I'm dating a lot of people right now. Jordan is a nice guy; he's an engineering major that I met in the student center on campus."
"Tall, dark, and handsome, I assume?"
"Yes, of course! Just the way I like them."
*****
I enjoyed bowling with Jordan that night, and even though he was good-looking, it quickly became apparent to me that I didn't want to go out with him again. Too much ego and he had a hard time talking about anything other than the engineering classes he was taking this semester. I didn’t need to endure another session of "Let’s Talk About Jordan". There were a lot more fish in the sea and my nets were fairly full with options.
Jordan dropped me off at home around 11 pm, and I walked in the door and found Kendra and her boyfriend, Liam, on the couch watching a movie. Kendra and Liam had been dating for two months, and Kendra had mentioned to me a few days earlier that she was trying to decide if she should continue with the relationship. They met in the student center on campus: at the time she was working in the computer lab, and he went to that particular computer lab every night to do his homework. One night, he struck up a conversation with her and then asked her out.
Kendra was the loyal type. She enjoyed dating and having fun with guys, but once she found a guy that she was interested in, it was common for her to date him for awhile. The fact that she stuck with one guy for a few months at a time was a stark difference to my current dating patterns.
When Kendra saw me walk in, she quickly sat up and grabbed the TV remote to pause the show.
"So, how was it? Will this guy be a repeat?"
"Nope, definitely a yum-yuck," I rolled my eyes. "Too much talk about engineering software and support beams for commercial buildings."
Yum-yuck was a term that Kendra and I coined last year. It was a quick way to describe a guy who was good-looking from a distance and made you think "Yum," but then once he started talking, his personality quickly diminished his attractiveness, changing the thought to "Yuck."
I kicked off my shoes and sat down on the loveseat across from where Kendra and Liam were sitting together. It was cute how great they looked together; they were a good match.
Liam laughed and grabbed Kendra's hand. "Poor guy. I'm glad I wasn't filed in the yum-yuck category after our first date." He leaned over and gave Kendra a small kiss on the cheek.
"Yes, you are one lucky man to have a woman like me," Kendra kissed him back. "You were filed into
the yum-yum-YUM category!"
She turned to me and sighed. "Well, at least you have a few more guys to pick from this weekend. One down, four to go. I'm sure you’ll find one that you’re at least somewhat interested in."
"There's definitely potential with Mr. Saturday Night. And, I'm really looking forward to dinner on Sunday with Corey."
"Corey seems like a great guy," Kendra responded. "I've talked with him a few times in Sunday school, and he's got a fun personality."
"I agree. We'll see how it goes."
I stood up and started up the stairs to the bedroom. "I'll let you two lovebirds finish your movie; I need to spend some time on my homework before I go to bed."
*****
Sunday morning, it was beautiful outside, so we decided to walk to church in order to enjoy the sunshine. Because my weekend schedule had been so busy, Kendra and I had been so busy that we didn't have much time to talk on Friday or Saturday, so it was the perfect time to get caught up as we casually strolled down the sidewalk to our church three blocks away.
"Same old story, huh?" Kendra shrugged, "You always find something wrong with your dates. I almost wonder if you’re purposely looking for faults because you’re scared of commitment."
"Good point. Logically, I know that, but emotionally I freak out if I think about getting into a serious relationship. You’re right... I really don't want to be in a committed relationship right now."
"There are a lot of great guys out there – you just need to give them a chance. Keaton was a mistake, but you learned from that experience. Going out with a guy more than once or twice doesn’t automatically mean you have to marry him. Just sayin'."
"You're right. Plus, sometimes I think it would be nice to have a low-key boyfriend for just a little while. You know, someone to talk to and cuddle with. But I'm not too worried about it right now, because school will be done in less than a year. Right now, I just want to hang out and have some fun."
Kendra flipped her dark hair over her shoulder, her curls bounced a few times before settling on her back. "You’ll be able to get a boyfriend when you're ready. I see how all these guys are falling for you! It's your commitment issues that are stopping you from getting a boyfriend right now."
I considered Kendra's point, and realized that she was right. I didn't have a problem getting first and second dates, but the idea of dating a guy long-term scared me... and by the third date, I often found a reason to not go out with the guy again.
I didn’t consider myself overly picky, but what was that they said? Once burned, twice shy.
Yes, I liked to date a lot, but not in a "slutty" way. I loved making lots of friends and I enjoyed the attention from the guys, but I was strict about the not allowing the physical relationship to progress too far.
I considered myself to be a good Mormon girl, and as such, had made the choice to abstain from sex before marriage. My physical boundaries hadn’t really been a problem with Keaton, as he was also a Mormon and shared my beliefs. Looking back on it, there were a lot of times where he seemed more interested in reaching the next level of his video game than in me. I was just an ornament and someone to get him another soda when he needed it.
I made my commitment to remain chaste as a young girl and had stayed true to it throughout my teenage years and early twenties. I was still committed to keep my vow of chastity until I was married, but that didn't mean that I couldn't date or have fun. I had no problem with kissing a guy or holding his hand, and I loved snuggling up together to talk or watch a movie.
There were some guys that weren't a good match to date, because they didn't share the same values as me. The few times I tried dating guys that didn’t share my beliefs, I felt like I had to be constantly on my guard and really couldn’t enjoy myself because they were looking to take the physical relationship to a level that I was not comfortable with. I found that if I stuck to dating guys that shared my values, our time together was a whole lot more relaxed and enjoyable.
Because I was looking for guys who had similar values and beliefs, the instant effect was the minimizing of my dating pool of choice. However, I didn't mind, because the area where I lived had many eligible bachelors who shared the same religious views. Church and church activities were a great place to meet guys who respected my beliefs.
I redirected my thoughts back to the current conversation with Kendra. "I could find a guy that I really liked if I put my mind to it. There are plenty of great guys out there; I just don't want to risk having one of them buying me a diamond ring."
"Really?" she said sarcastically. "You think that you could commit to one guy for a little while?" Kendra winked at me, with a challenging tone in her voice.
"Of course I could, if it was the right guy," I responded confidently. I knew that I could do anything if I put my mind to it.
"I don't know, I think that it would be too much for you to hang out with the same guy more than a few times." Sarcasm continued to drip from Kendra's voice, "The second date is when most of them are put on the chopping block, if they even make it past the first date."
I thought about what Kendra was saying. Yes, she was teasing and challenging me at the same time, but there was definitely truth to what she was saying.
Could I really commit to a guy for a short period of time, knowing that it didn't have to turn into a long-term relationship? Could I have fun and hang out with one guy without it getting too serious? What qualities would the guy need to have to keep me from placing them on the chopping block?
Kendra stopped walking, turned abruptly to face me, and placed her hands on her hips. "In fact, I bet you couldn't stick with a boyfriend right now, even if you wanted to," she challenged.
I liked to believe that I could, although I hesitated at the idea of any type of commitment to one guy. The dating game was too much fun right now. Why should I give it up for a silly bet?
But the motivation that I was feeling was based on Kendra's challenge, and my competitive edge was nudging me to prove her wrong. Kendra knew me well enough to understand that throwing a challenge out at me was like shaking a bone at a dog. I just couldn’t resist.
"I'll accept your bet. We’ll pick a guy and I'll get him to be my boyfriend. I’ll need some time to get him to ask me out, so that I can work my magic."
"Hmmm, sounds interesting," Kendra commented. "Will I get to have a say in who the guy is? It has to be someone that you've never met. And there has to be a deadline on the bet."
"I guess we can plan it that way. But, it needs to be a decent guy, someone who is cute and not crazy or weird." We had a similar taste in guys, but I didn't want Kendra challenging me to date an awkward guy just because she would have fun watching me squirm through the whole experience.
"Ok, we'll make sure that he's decent," Kendra agreed. "We've got an activity on Monday night at park next to the church, I'm sure you could find someone there."
Kendra and I were both members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as "Mormons" in popular culture. The congregation that we attended was for single college students, and they had weekly activities that we often attended. Our congregation was referred to as a "ward" within the church, and several wards in the area were part of a larger area known as a "stake." On Monday, there was a big stake activity with several singles wards involved, so there was a pretty good chance that I would have the opportunity to meet new guys.
"Ok, that sounds like a plan. I need at least a week to get him to ask me out though."
"That's fair. Here's the bet: we’ll pick a guy on Monday night. You’ll have seven days to get him to ask you out, and then you’ll need to go out with him at least a total of five times within the following two weeks. During that two-week time, you can't go out with ANY other guys"
I considered her offer, knowing that it would be challenging to complete. "That sounds like mission impossible to me, but I think that I can do it. We need some type of wager, to make it a real bet. What do you think?"
"If you fail, then you have to buy me that new iPhone I've been wanting!" Kendra smiled mischievously, hinting that she was excited for a new phone.
"Whoa, you're serious about this bet, aren't you? Deal. But, if I'm successful, then you have to buy me a new phone. Five dates is a lot though, I dunno..."
"Aw, come on. I know that you can get any guy that you want. The challenge is about whether or not you’ll be willing to hang out with him for a few weeks." Kendra's response was encouraging and challenging at the same time, we were good enough friends that she knew exactly what to say to get me to commit.
"I can do it, but I'm not making any promises after the bet is completed. You have to agree that I have the option to walk away from the relationship after the five dates are done." As I spoke, I was trying to convince myself and explain it to her at the same time.
"We'll call it the boyfriend bet. This is going to be fun!" She stuck out her little finger and latched onto my little finger, sealing our bet with a "pinky-swear".
We walked into the church building and took our seats for the first meeting. I tried to concentrate on the gospel messages that were being shared, but my mind was preoccupied with the bet that I had just made.
There was no doubt in my mind that I could get the first date lined up, I was a pro when it came to getting guys to ask me out. The follow-up dates were my concern.
I had stayed away from serious relationships for so long that I felt a little anxious about spending so much time with one guy. Could I do it without getting hurt in the process?
Eventually, I reassured myself with the fact that it was only two weeks of dating, and I didn't have to commit to anything after that. It would be a fun experiment, although I wasn't sure how comfortable I felt about leading a guy on if I wasn't really interested in him. It wasn't fair to him to be in a relationship with me just so I could prove Kendra wrong.
But the challenge had been made, and I loved competition. Anyway, all’s fair in love and war, right?
Country Crooner (Christian Romance) Page 10