“You keep giving and giving. Anything I need, you give. I didn’t think it was possible to love you more than I already do, but then you show such kindness and compassion and prove to me that I can.” Reaching up to cup his face, I kissed him tenderly.
Holden let his chair slam back down to the floor. He blurted out, “That right there is the reason! They see it. All of them see it!” Seeing my startled expression, he left the table and went outside.
Colby got up to follow.
“No, let me.” They didn’t protest when I left. Wrapping my arms around myself for warmth and regretting having left my jacket inside, I found him standing in the dark with his back turned, staring up at the moon. “Holden….” He didn’t turn around, so I invaded his space. Pressing my front to his chest, I slid my arms around him and under his leather jacket.
Yet again, he surprised me when he brought his arms around me and held me tightly. “They get to hold you in their arms at night, feeling you close, hearing your sweet voice, and smelling your hair. I haven’t had a moment alone with you since our wedding day.” He was hurt. The big, bad wolf had gone soft and gushy in his center.
“Are you saying you want to spend time with me?”
“I want to spend my entire life with you, every moment of it. Not seeing you tears me apart inside, but the gashes don’t heal.”
Holden loved me. At some point, I trapped him in a snare I’d never set. Well, I’d either caught him, or he’d caught me, but neither of us could free ourselves or the other. “Um, do you want to come over after dinner?”
He mulled it over for a minute. “I want you to come home with me. Spend the night with me, Rosie.” He moved his hands up to the back of my head.
His eyes didn’t frighten me as they once had. Instead, when I gazed into them, I saw a man who was baring his deepest needs to me, needs to be loved and wanted. From what I’d learned, he’d loved Sophia. Instead of loving him back, she’d been cruel to him. The two of them hadn’t been bound and mated as we were. She’d already sold her soul to the dark one. Holden and I had irrevocably tied ourselves together, and as I saw it, we might as well make the best of it.
“Alright.”
“Alright?” He grinned and started leading me to his bike.
“Oh, no. Wait just a minute. I’m not going anywhere until I’ve had my steak dinner, and I’ve still got queso.” I was completely serious.
Holden threw his head back and laughed. Then, he picked me up, tossed me over his shoulder, and carried me back inside.
Once I was seated, a scraped-clean bowl of chili con queso, an empty chip basket, and seven innocent faces greeted me. Pursing my lips, I waited for my dinner. After we had all been served and had eaten our fill, I told them our plans.
“You’re taking her on a motorcycle?” Mato asked. His disapproval was clear.
Growling Bear crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you have a helmet for her?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep her safe,” Holden assured them.
“See that you do,” Colby said. “And, be sure to get her to the library on time.”
Hunting Wolf raised his voice to be heard. “Does she have clean clothing at your place?”
“Oh, please. You’re all acting like parents with joint custody. I’m not a child. Come on, Holden. Take me….”
“I intend to,” he interrupted and winked.
I gave him my best angry teacher look, the one I’d practiced. “Back home so I can grab a few things.”
His grin was absolutely wicked.
Chapter Fourteen
The ride to 438 Long Shadow Road was a cold one. Holden parked his bike close to the front steps. The barks with which I had grown accustomed to being greeted were absent. “That’s weird.” I opened the door and turned on the lights. “Puck? Macduff? Where are you?” They came out from under my bed and cowered with their tails between their legs. They wagged their bodies and put their heads under my hands, but they refused to go anywhere near Holden. “You have to fix this. They’re my babies. I can’t have them being afraid when you come over. Make it right.”
Easing himself down to the floor in front of the Christmas tree, he coaxed the puppies over to himself and let them sniff him. I raised an eyebrow when he in turn sniffed them. When the three of them started having a weird exchange of whines and grunts, I became truly concerned about who it was I had actually married. I was still becoming accustomed to the merging of my Wendigo and werewolf. It was all still new to me, but Holden had led a long existence as a werewolf. Had, over the course of time, he become part puppy? Laughing at my own thoughts, I ran my hands over their gray and black spotted backs. Holden and I were practically strangers. What did I really know about him? On a positive note, Puck and Macduff were letting him pet them. I put a few things for the next day in a backpack and joined them on the floor. Hunting Wolf and Colby came home to find the puppies frolicking on our laps and licking my face.
“It is exactly how I imagined you spending your evening,” Hunting Wolf said.
“Ha, ha,” Holden replied blandly.
They pulled their boots off and left them by the door. “Want a beer?” Colby asked.
“Uh, alright.” Getting up, Holden followed them into the kitchen.
“Come on, babies. Follow your daddies into the kitchen, and I’ll fill your bowls.”
Claws clicked against the floor as they raced into the kitchen. Through the kitchen window, I could see the faint glow of light from my brothers’ house. Sam had gotten men from Four Bears to come out to wire their house for electricity, and they were enjoying it. Far back on our property and well away from the goats, a few campfires burned in the tent city Colby’s pack was inhabiting. It was a far cry from the fancy hotel, but they didn’t seem to mind. They’d been using the back road on our property to come and go so as not to ruin my front yard.
“What are we going to do with all of them?” I pushed the piles of unclaimed laundry to the back of the kitchen table. I hoped Avonaco would remove it all before breakfast.
“Don’t worry. We’ve been thinking up a few ideas. Whatever we end up going with will match the barn.”
Disappointed at the change of plans, I said, “We’ll need to get them situated before worrying about our barn.”
Colby kissed my forehead. “Don’t worry about it. We’re gonna get to work clearing land bright and early in the morning, even earlier now that we don’t have to worry about waking you up.”
“You don’t have to worry about waking me up anyway.”
Hunting Wolf said, “We like watching you sleep.”
I noticed something odd. Colby and Holden kept getting closer and closer to me. Each of them was trying to entice me to go to them. It was like some sort of primal alpha contest of superiority, or like in the movie Annie when she calls Sandy to her to prove it’s her dog. Since I’d already married them, I wasn’t sure what they were trying to accomplish or if they even realized what they were doing. It started making me confused because I didn’t know how to keep from hurting their feelings.
Hunting Wolf pulled me into his arms, effectively putting a stop to their game. “Colby, do you remember what our fighting did to Rozene when we were at your hunting cabin?”
I did. It had left me on the floor, screaming, torn between the love and loyalty I felt for each of them.
Colby said, “Yeah, it physically hurt her.” He broke eye contact with Holden and stepped closer to kiss me. Then, he left through the kitchen door, striding out across the dark yard to his new pack.
Doubts began to plague me. Had marrying Holden been a huge mistake? As if sensing my thoughts, he watched me with apprehension. “I can’t leave like this. It wouldn’t be right.” I followed Colby outside. “Wait! Please!” I had to jog to catch up to him. He stopped and turned to wait for me. “Colby, I love you.”
He gave me a sexy grin. “I know you do, baby.”
“Why’d you leave like that?”
“To avoid a
ll of the male dominance crap that would upset you. We can’t help it. Sharing a mate is perfectly acceptable to Hunting Wolf, but it goes against lupine instincts. For your sake, we need to learn to deal with it. It’s hard, though. Sometimes, when he looks at you, I want to gouge out his eyes and eat them. You’re mine.” His possessiveness was clear.
“You had a steak dinner not long ago. Are you telling me you’re already hungry for eyeball appetizers?”
He cocked his head at me and laughed. “We’ve got plenty of time to adjust. Go on, baby. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I’ll blow off some steam and take the pack for a run.”
I glanced over in the direction of Mr. Brady’s land and then over toward Four Bears with deep misgivings.
Colby dropped his hands onto my shoulders and kissed me. “Don’t worry. We won’t trespass. I’ll take them all the way out to the cabin and back. That way, they’ll know a safe route to go if they need one.”
“Is it just them? I mean, do any of them have mates?”
He shook his head. “Pascal was an odd one. I don’t know or care what his logic was, but the men have asked me if I’d allow them to form attachments.”
“What did you say?”
“I said to be sure the other person knew exactly what she or he was getting into and not to turn anyone without pack approval. We’re not going anywhere. So, I don’t see any reason for any of them to be alone if they find a chance at happiness.”
Moving closer, I put my arms around him and held still, savoring being near him. “Am I doing the right thing?”
“Rosie, there’s the right thing, the wrong thing, and what your gut insists you do. If being with him is right for you, which it must be since your Wendigo is no longer stuck in one skin, then it’s right for us to include him in our family somehow.”
“You, Hunting Wolf, Sam, and I went into our marriage openly and together….”
He placed his fingers gently to my lips. “Yes, and we supported his admittance into our marriage by standing with you at your ceremony. Be patient with him. He may have a pack, but he’s a lone wolf at heart. He’s not accustomed to a sweet little woman’s smiles and tender touches or being on friendly terms with males outside of his own pack.”
I started thinking of the old cliché, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Lifting up on my toes, I kissed him and returned to the house where Hunting Wolf and Holden were engaged in a deep conversation. Two pairs of ancient supernatural eyes patiently observed me.
“Are you ready?” Holden felt out of place, even though Hunting Wolf was being a polite host.
Nodding, I walked down the hall for my bag.
We had ridden a few miles down the road when he slowed his bike to a stop. “Want to tell me what’s gotten you so nervous?” His boots hit the ground to either side of the heavy motorcycle.
“I’m worried about doing what’s right for my family.”
“Oh, is that it? Nothing else? You weren’t too concerned in New Mexico when you slid those white thighs over me.”
“Don’t be a dick. I’m talking about all of us. You’re a part of my family, too, Fido.”
“Fido?” He laughed. “Anyway, I thought you liked my dick.”
“Yes, Holden, I’ve grown quite fond of your phallus.” I rolled my eyes. “I heard you with Puck and Macduff. I’m buying you fucking dog biscuits for Christmas. Why are you throwing our intimacy in my face?”
“Are you ashamed of me?”
Shit. I wasn’t handling any of this right. “You’ve got it all wrong. All of it. I’ve made peace with it. Now, I need to figure out how to make you fit together with us. It isn’t right for you to feel like an outsider, but I think it will take time. Making friends with my babies was a good start. I want them to trust you to protect them and not to be afraid of you. We got off to a rough start. I worry you and Sam will never really get along.”
“I take the blame for it. I never for one minute imagined a woman like you would willingly have anything to do with a wolf like me. All of this is unexpected and unconventional.”
Pushing down with my feet to lift myself up, I kissed his scruffy cheek.
He asked, “Are you sure nothing else is making you nervous?”
“No, but it’s fucking cold out here. It’s not you making my nipples hard. Can we go?”
“Not quite yet, sweetheart.”
Then, I heard something other than the wind blowing through the trees. Growls, low and deep, edged closer to us from within the trees along the sides of the road. “What now?”
Turning off his bike, Holden put down the kickstand, dismounted, and was beside me in a flash. I scrambled off the bike while clutching his hand for balance. He didn’t seem surprised by the car-sized wolves ambushing us, but I sure was. I expected Holden to shift, but he didn’t. He didn’t say a word. I sensed resolve from him as he put me behind him and gave me a gentle push, wanting me to back away.
“What are you doing? Aren’t you going to shift? Who are they? What do they want?” He didn’t answer me, so I shifted into my Wendigo and prepared to fight.
“Stay out of this, sweetheart. It doesn’t concern you.”
“Bullshit. Horse shit. Cow manure. Chicken shit. Dog turds. Goat poop.”
“What the hell are you going on about?”
“I’m thinking of synonyms for what just came out of your mouth. It’s all of the different kinds of shit with which I’ve become accustomed since moving to the country.”
The pair of snarling, snapping wolves attacked as one. Both of them went for Holden. I jumped on top of the seat and launched myself onto the back of the closest wolf. Gripping it with my thighs, I grabbed it by the ears. I didn’t know if I should unmake it or kick its ass. I wondered if I should take Elizabeth’s form and try to fight it, but she had done me little good against Holden. Female werewolves, unable to fully shift, were considerably weaker than the males. However, a night hunter would beat the ever-loving shit out of a werewolf in a fight. I was about to shift when several more wolves ran out onto the road. Confused whines came from the wolf whose ears I was giving a good yanking.
“What the hell are you doing?” Colby yelled.
“They started it!” I yelled in my defense. So, these were Colby’s wolves. “What the actual fuck?”
He stormed over to me in all of his naked glory. He punched the wolf I was fighting in the nose. After a loud sneeze, I suddenly found myself on Cooper’s naked back. I let go of his ears and slid to my feet. “Are you alright, baby?”
“I’m fine. I don’t understand why members of my husband’s pack who are living on our land have attacked us. Can you explain that to me? I mean, what the fuck, Colby?”
Cooper said, “You belong to Colby.” He said it like I was the one who was stupid.
My anger was a volcano. Rounding on him and drawing on my strength, I punched him. He flew a few feet before landing bare-assed on the road. He had a shocked expression on his face and a dick that was flopping around like an over-ripe banana. “Listen here, you little fucker. My marriage is none of your business! You come after what’s mine, and next time I’ll show you how a night hunter can fight. Your buddies will have to scoop up what’s left of you with a shovel and put you into a fucking barrel. You got that?”
When he just looked stupidly at me, I went after him and let him have it. I punched him again and again until my fists ached, and my arms started to tire. He sat there and took it, the fuck wad. Then, moving a few steps away, I sat coming down heavily on the road, feeling the hard, patched asphalt under my palms. Dusting them off, I covered my face. Everything had been perfect, but now it was a mess. My anger morphed into frustrated tears.
Crouching down until he sat beside me, Colby lifted me onto his thighs.
“How are we supposed to make this work? How can we be happy and learn to be a family if your packs are constantly trying to kill us and each other? I don’t know what to do. How do we fix this? Are we doomed?”
“Hey, we’ll figure something out. This isn’t on you. It’s on me. I need to get these guys under control. Hey.” He lifted my chin and waited until I looked into his blue eyes. “I’ll get a handle on this. I promise. Do you trust me?”
Hesitating for a moment, I nodded.
Standing with me in his arms, he carefully placed me on my feet. “My apologies, Holden.” He looked over at Hart, his wolf who had attacked Holden. “Thanks for not clawing out his heart and eating it.”
“I was still full from dinner.”
Kacey cuffed Hart on the back of the head. He appeared to be angry and sullen but seemed to finally realize what Holden could have done to him if he’d wanted to. Bob shook his head at Cooper.
“What’s wrong with you, dumbass?” Andros asked. His red hair and freckles stood out on his pale skin in the darkness. “Apologize.”
“Sorry, Mrs. Rosie,” Cooper said.
“Sorry,” Hart mumbled.
Holden was exuding the same patience he had displayed with Puck and Macduff. I realized he was no more afraid of Hart and Cooper than he had been of my puppies. If he’d wanted them dead, he’d have killed the wolves quickly and been done with it, but he’d put up with their insulting behavior for me. Hart had slashed his leather jacket in several places and ruined it.
“Yes, Holden, thank you for your decorum.” I hadn’t displayed any when I had taken my anger out on Cooper.
Pointing an accusatory finger at Hart, he said, “You owe me a new jacket. Fuck with me again, and I’ll skin your hide, boy. She’s the only reason one of your boys ain’t helping you pull your head out of your asshole. Don’t think I can’t make it fit.” He mounted his bike, pushed up the kickstand, and waited while I climbed on behind him. Once I was settled with my arms around his chest, he lifted up and then brought his weight down. The bike rumbled to life, vibrating between my thighs.
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