Masquerade

by Lam, Laura

  I took Frey’s small hand in mine. It was hard and scaly, and far too warm. His fingers tightened around mine like a vice. I gasped. He leeched power from me, my energy flowing into him. Within moments, I was as poorly as I had been the morning before I’d last been dosed with Pozzi’s Elixir.

  The stuffed animals by the window rose into the air, spinning slowly. The books tumbled from the bookshelves, falling to the floor and then rising again, their covers flapping like birds’ wings. Everyone in the room screamed.

  ‘He’s hurting me,’ I gasped.

  ‘You must take control,’ Anisa said.

  ‘I . . . can’t . . .’

  Drystan darted forward. ‘Stop it!’

  I half-fell to the bed. A scream tore from my throat.

  Drystan grabbed my hand, trying to pry me from Frey, but as soon as he touched my skin, the power leeching from me spiked, caused him to fly across the room. He crashed into the wall before falling to the floor.

  ‘You can take control, little Kedi,’ Anisa said, her voice echoing through the room. ‘You have to, or all is lost. There is not much time. One who was Matla, lend him your strength.’

  Cyan clasped my other hand. Immediately, I felt more grounded within myself. But all too soon she fell against me with weakness. I could barely see and had no idea what Drystan or Lily were doing. Perhaps they still tried to free us, but my mind was full of swirling blue light.

  I had to do something. If I didn’t, then Frey, Cyan, and I would die – and perhaps everyone within a set radius, too, if Frey’s powers grew too strong. It would be like the Forester attack in front of the Celestial Cathedral, or worse.

  I reached towards Frey with my mind, but it was as though I reached for a whirlpool. I swirled through it, hunting for the frightened little boy who must be hiding in there somewhere.

  There. Off in the distance of my mind. A small spark. The smallest star.

  ‘Frey,’ I called to him. ‘Frey Verre.’

  ‘Who are you?’ His voice was high and wailing. ‘What do you want from me?’

  ‘We met before, at your mother’s. I’m Micah, do you remember? You’re frightened and your power has gotten away from you.’

  ‘I don’t want to go back. I like it. The world is bigger here.’

  The whirring colours were strangely hypnotic. Everything was various shades of blue, like that one memory I had from Anisa. When she’d found her charge dead, they’d lived inside a Penglass dome, and everything was soft and cool but for the red blood.

  It was the same swirling colours as the vortex of my mother’s mind.

  ‘Your mother needs you,’ I urged. ‘She’s so worried for you. You don’t wish to upset her, do you?’

  A pause. ‘No.’

  ‘Come on, then. Let’s go back.’ It was as if I held out my hand, though where we were we had no bodies and were only light.

  I reached to him, but it was like reaching for my mother at the hospital. He was too far away, or he was like smoke that slipped through my fingers.

  ‘Come on, Frey,’ I said. ‘Reach towards me. You have to help me.’ I didn’t want him to disappear. If he was lost, would he be in the same kind of coma as my mother?

  Then, so faintly, he connected with me. His grip strengthened. The swirling light around us slowed. The bright, eye-watering blue grew dimmer, that same bright-dark azure just after the sun has set but the stars have not come out. Everything darkened to black.

  I returned to my body, which hurt as though I’d been stepped on by a horse. Several times. And then kicked for good measure.

  Groaning, I raised my head. Frey looked at me, black eyes alert, as fresh as if he’d just awoken from a nap. Unfair.

  Cyan, her eyelids drooping, looked as awful as I felt. The bedroom was a mess, torn books and toys everywhere, the pictures fallen from the walls, the glass shattered. I could hear the frightened thoughts of the neighbours, wondering if there’d just been an earthquake.

  Drystan dragged me to my feet and crushed me tight in his arms. I fell against him, hardly able to stand. I was numbed to all emotions, shocked into silence. It was like after Anisa’s memory dreams, or after I woke up after the bodysnatching nightmares. I still wasn’t entirely sure who I was. Though I hadn’t been experiencing someone else’s life, I’d been away from my own body. I wanted to sleep for days, but only after I’d eaten my body weight in food.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Drystan whispered into my ear.

  ‘I think so,’ I said.

  ‘I gave you some energy back,’ Frey said, propping himself up with his elbows. The covers had fallen back, exposing his skinny legs. ‘I didn’t want you to be too tired.’

  If this was how I was after him giving me some energy, I didn’t want to think how I’d feel otherwise.

  Anisa smiled at us. ‘Perhaps there’s hope yet.’

  The vision of the world ending she’d sent me, remembered from hundreds of years ago, could give anyone nightmares. I didn’t want history to repeat and restart.

  Lily clung tight to her child, resting her cheek against the top of his head. The love she possessed for him flooded through me. It was too strong. With difficulty, I erected the barriers, blocked out her relief. Kai watched everything in wide-eyed wonder, pressed against the wall, almost willing himself not to be noticed.

  I clung to Drystan, hiding my face. The light hurt. Everything hurt.

  ‘Thank you,’ Lily said. ‘I don’t know what you did or how you did it, but thank you.’

  ‘How do we stop it from happening again?’ I asked the Phantom Damselfly, my voice hoarse.

  ‘Frey must learn to control his powers,’ Anisa said. ‘Others like you can perhaps contain it, for a time, but in the end, it comes down to him.’ Her eyes went distant, and I knew who she was remembering.

  ‘You didn’t teach Ahti, all those years ago?’ I asked.

  She looked away. ‘I tried. I thought I had. But when they hurt him, all my teaching was not enough. And Dev was not there to help him. And so they were lost, and the world nearly lost with it.’

  ‘How do I learn?’ Frey asked. ‘I don’t want to hurt anyone.’

  Anisa smiled at him, almost sadly. ‘We’ll start now. For all we have is time and now is as good a time as any.’

  ‘Wait. We still don’t know much about Kai, here,’ Drystan said, nodding to Kai. Startled at being addressed, the young man hunched his shoulders. ‘You work for Pozzi. We don’t know if we can trust you. What’s to say you won’t report everything back to the doctor?’

  ‘I – I won’t,’ Kai said. ‘I hate him.’

  I blinked, surprised. At the hospital, he’d hung on the doctor’s every word.

  ‘He’s playing the same game I am,’ Lily replied.

  The problem, I wanted to say, is that we aren’t totally certain of your game, either.

  ‘What do you do for him?’ Drystan asked.

  ‘I help him in his private laboratory, or when we conduct lectures or autopsies. I’m never with him when he goes to the palace.’

  ‘Before you ask,’ Lily added, ‘no, he doesn’t help experiment on pregnant women or babies or whatever the Styx Pozzi is really doing. Kai is a medical student, and helps with Pozzi’s most banal projects.’

  ‘I see you for what you are,’ Anisa said. She flapped her wings, slowly. ‘Show them what you hide, and they will understand.’

  He stooped his shoulders again, but took off his coat. Underneath, he wore a bulky jumper. Awkwardly, he took this off and then stood.

  Wings like a bat’s spread from his back. They jutted out through holes cut in his shirt. They were a different shade to his skin, greyer, and small enough that when folded across his back, they did not create a noticeable bump.

  ‘Can you fly?’ I asked.

  ‘No. They’re too small.’ His voice was sharp. The few people he’d shown these wings had probably all asked the same question.

  ‘Does Pozzi know about them?’

  ‘Of
course he does. I’m fairly sure he created them in me. He saw my mother when she was pregnant.’

  ‘How did you start to work with him?’

  ‘My mother told me her suspicions. I went to him, claiming I wanted to learn, and he took me in. He funded my schooling, made sure I met the right people. It’s only in the last few months he’s trusted me enough to help with certain experiments. But I don’t trust him. I never have, I never will. I’m using him to get what I need, and waiting until I can find proof of what he’s truly doing.’

  Cyan stepped closer to him. ‘Can I check that you’re telling the truth?’ she asked, holding out a hand.

  He stared at her hand, nervously licking his lips. Then he straightened his shoulders, stretching out his small wings again. ‘Yes. I have nothing to hide.’ He took her hand and held it tight.

  She didn’t need to touch him, but it was a gentle lie, that he thought she did. Her eyelids fluttered closed. She softly stepped into his mind to examine him. She only stayed long enough to discover what she needed before stepping back and opening her eyes.

  ‘He’s telling the truth.’

  He took his hand back, rubbing the skin. ‘I hope that clears the matter.’

  We wanted to ask him more, but Lily spoke up. ‘Now, I’d like to ask more about you, Anisa, and your history,’ she said, almost hesitantly. ‘I am truly grateful for all your help but I have no idea who you are. A transparent ghost just saved my son with the help of a boy and a girl with powers that should not exist. And no, I didn’t know you were Chimaera, not definitively. I want answers.’

  ‘Very well, Shadow,’ Anisa said, calmly, the veneer of detachment back in place. Lily had her own nickname.

  She told Lily, Frey, and Kai small amounts about herself – that she had lived many lives in many bodies. Some of flesh, some of machine, but usually not for long in an Aleph like the one she lived in now. How she was tasked by the Alder to raise Chimaera with extra abilities and teach them, whether they were Anthi or Theri. Anisa skimmed over the period of her life she’d shown me, of Ahti being tortured by the original Kashura, who had wanted to take his powers – the rare dual ability to both move objects and affect weather. Instead, they triggered a catastrophe that almost resulted in the end of the world.

  ‘I’m trying to ensure that this doesn’t happen again. I will always protect Chimaera.’

  Lily looked mistrustful, and I couldn’t blame her. But then, I didn’t trust Lily either. I trusted that she loved her son and would do whatever it took to keep him safe: including betraying us all, if she felt she had to. Kai was inscrutable.

  ‘Frey,’ Anisa said. ‘Look at me.’

  He did. ‘I remember you,’ he said in wonder.

  ‘You do?’ Anisa asked, for once taken aback. ‘From where?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ he said, shrugging. ‘It was a long time ago.’

  We all stared at him, unsure what to say.

  ‘My chair?’ he asked.

  Kai went to get his wicker chair and lifted Frey from the bed, settling him into the seat and tucking blankets around him. I couldn’t stop staring at the wings as they moved along his back. I wanted to reach out and touch them. Would they feel warm? Would they be rough like Saitha the elephant’s skin, or smooth like leather? I felt guilty for my curiosity.

  ‘I’ll teach him the basics of control for now, but the little Kedi can probably help as well. They seem to have an affinity for one another.’

  Kai sent me a startled look, but said nothing. Lily was unsurprised – she knew that secret, then.

  Don’t talk about me like I’m not here, I sent Anisa. She ignored me.

  ‘What does affinity mean again?’ Frey asked.

  ‘It means you two get along,’ Lily said, with a nervous glance towards me.

  ‘Oh. That’s true. I only met you one other time, but you seem very nice.’ He nodded. ‘So do the rest of you,’ he added, as if he realized it might be rude to leave the others out.

  It was unnerving, how unafraid Frey was after his fit. But then, perhaps he didn’t know how close he’d come to being lost. His words worked to break the tension, and we managed weak chuckles. I liked Frey. He still reminded me of the Princess. They both had to hide their differences. They were both lonely. Lily wanted to protect him, but she also cut him off from the world. He had no friends his own age, and couldn’t leave the house without being heavily disguised.

  What childhoods. By Frey’s age, I knew that I had a secret, but mine could be hidden. I could play with other children. I doubted Frey or the Princess had ever laughed with abandon at something their friend said until they gained a stitch in their side. Never had a mud fight. Never been free to be children.

  ‘All right, Frey. Close your eyes,’ Anisa said.

  He did as he was bid. The scaling on the backs of his eyelids was very delicate. Anisa walked him through simple meditation, asking him to clear his mind. He had trouble settling down, but when he did, the power that still sizzled around him calmed, as if it drew deeper into his body.

  ‘Yes,’ Anisa said. ‘Yes. Whenever you are frightened or feel the energy escaping, come to this place. Block everything out. Right here, right now, you are safe.’

  She taught him more meditation techniques, until the room felt almost normal again. Cyan sat on Lily’s bed, her feet drawn up under the skirt of her dress, her arms around her knees. She was fascinated by the lessons, and I found myself planning to try some meditation myself, to see if it’d calm my mind.

  When the sky was lightening, Anisa said that was enough. Kai had fallen asleep on the sofa, his coat covering his wings. In the way of some children, Frey was calm and unconcerned by the magnitude of the days’ events. I envied him, that he didn’t constantly fear what the morrow would bring.

  He yawned, and the light glinted off his scales again. I thought of how bundled he was whenever they left the apartments.

  ‘Have you ever tried using a Glamour?’ I asked Lily.

  She blinked. ‘I had wondered, but I can’t afford one and have never been able to try. Is that how you change your appearance for your magic shows? I thought it might be cunning cosmetics.’

  Taking the Glamour from around my neck, I fiddled with the controls. It took a long time to program the Glamour perfectly, but at least I could see if it would work at all. Though I still ached with exhaustion, I was so curious.

  I slipped the Glamour around Frey’s neck. He picked it up in his hands and turned it over. I turned it on and the illusion settled over his features. It was crude, and his horns were still visible, but his skin turned the same shade as his mother’s, and his bright eyes turned a more normal shade of green. Lily held her hands over her mouth.

  ‘What is it?’ Frey asked. ‘What did it do?’

  I hesitated, wondering if I should show him. What if it made him feel embarrassed about how he looked normally? Lily saw my trepidation.

  ‘Remember how I said that people don’t understand things, sometimes? Like your scales, and how they’re beautiful, but some people have tiny minds and might not think so?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said, his hand going to his cheek. Though it was now the colour of peaches and looked just as soft, it would still feel scaly to him.

  ‘And so we have to cover you up when you go out, so that these sad people don’t stare at you, or make mean comments, and make you feel at all like it’s bad to be different. This is another way to do that. But I want you to know that I wish we didn’t have to hide it at all. You know that, don’t you?’ Her eyes shone with tears again.

  He shrugged. ‘Yes. Can I see now?’

  She passed him a little hand mirror. It was cracked from falling off the vanity.

  He frowned as he looked at the mirror. Gently, he touched the horns, poking from his forehead. I hadn’t given him hair, either. ‘I look strange.’

  Lily laughed, though the sound came out harsh, and switched off the Glamour. The scales returned. Frey watched the transformation and pas
sed the mirror back. He yawned and said he was tired, and then closed his eyes. Within moments, he was fast asleep. Lily ran her hand over his scaled scalp.

  Kai had awoken. ‘Can . . . can I try?’

  We passed it to him. He caught the trick of it sooner than Frey had, and he only had his wings to erase. He looked at his smooth back in a full-length mirror in Frey’s room.

  ‘How much are they?’ he asked when he reluctantly passed it over.

  ‘They’re not cheap.’

  ‘I’ll find a way. I’d give anything not to have to wear coats like this in summer.’ When his wings reappeared, though, he wrapped them around himself, touching one lightly. He didn’t hate them any more than Frey hated his horns. He hated that he had to hide them.

  ‘Thank you,’ Lily said. ‘I really thought I was going to lose him tonight.’

  ‘More than just he would have been lost,’ Anisa said. ‘I am glad we drew him back from the brink.’

  ‘You must all be tired,’ Lily said. ‘I won’t forget what you’ve done. I’ve not told Pozzi much about you, though, to be fair, recently he hasn’t asked. I suppose since he sees you once a week, Micah, that satisfies most of his curiosity. But if you wish for me to feed him false information, then I will. No questions asked.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said. As a Shadow, the offer of falsifying information to her paying client was not given lightly. Shadows usually prided themselves on their honesty, though of course there were always exceptions.

  We bid our farewells. Anisa transformed back into smoke and returned to her Aleph, and I pocketed it. It had been interesting to see her training Frey. She’d been a teacher, so long ago. She’d taught Chimaera to control their powers, but for what larger purpose?

  And what skills did she know that she could also teach me?

  At the door, out of sight of Kai and Frey, Drystan turned to Lily. He reached into his jacket pocket and brought out the vial containing the tiny fleck of Elixir.

  She cradled it in her hand, as though it were precious. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered. ‘I’ll send it to my friend tomorrow morning. Maybe then we can finally discover what it contains.’