by Christina OW
“That’s none of your business!” he yelled, sidestepping her and moving back into the room.
“It is my business when someone comes between my daughter and her father!” she yelled back chasing after him.
He turned on her again, but this time she didn’t jump. As he yanked the belt out of his jeans and kicked off his boots he asked, “How do I even know she’s mine?”
She knew he was trying to offend her, hurt her enough to make her run and leave him be, but she’d been preparing herself for questions like this the entire day before Jon Luc stopped by.
“If you would hold her, look at her, you would know. You would feel it in your heart—a cord wrapped around it with the other end firmly around hers. You’ll feel her yank on it when you hold her. Hell, I see her across the room and my heart wants to leap out of my body with love.”
He averted his eyes as he sat down on the bed and Melody knew he already felt it.
“You’ve already felt it, haven’t you?”
He busied himself unclasping his watch refusing to answer or to look at him.
Melody knelt down beside him. “Ruiz answer me!”
“What does it matter?” His glare turning pained before it changed back to a glare. “What the hell does any of this matter anyway?” He yanked of his socks and threw them across the room.
Melody moved to kneel between his knees, cupping his face in her hands and forcing him to look at her. “Everything concerning our daughter matters. We can’t be selfish anymore or she’ll be the one to suffer for it.”
He stared hard at her, his eyes shuttered so that she could see what he felt, what he was thinking.
“Ruiz—”
“Shut up,” he growled.
With one swoop he got her off the floor and dumped her on the bed. In a second he was on top of her, kissing her, touching her, muddling her mind until her concerns were a distant memory and all she could think about was how bad she wanted him inside her. He freed his hands and moved them to his hips and Melody only got a glimpse of his hands unfastening his pants before he caught her lips in another punishing kiss. She too freed her hands long enough to pull her underwear down her legs. She felt his hands push hers away and he quickly ripped the restricting thing off her. When he pulled away he was panting over her, his eyes searing into hers. She touched his face, his shoulders his chest, every part her hands could reach wondering how the hell she got so lucky to land a specimen like him and how stupid she was to have let him go.
Then something in his eyes changed and he sprung away from her moving to the other side of the room. “Get out.”
She pushed herself up on her elbows and watched him as he heaved for breath, his eyes closed tight and his fists clenched at his sides, his pants hanging open and low on his hips.
“Ruiz, what’s wrong?”
His eyes opened and his hard gaze leveled on her, “I can’t take you, not now, not with all this anger boiling inside me. I’ll hurt you and you’ll hate me for it.”
She got off the bed and approached him but he only moved away from her. “Ruiz—”
“Now, Mel!”
She would have said no if Esme hadn’t began to cry at that moment. She looked at the door then turned to him. He still stared at her with that hard gaze, his body wound tighter than a bow string his fists clenched at his side.
“I’m not giving up on you—on us—so you better get used to it. Tomorrow is a new day and a new start for this family,” she declared then with her head held high she marched out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her.
Chapter Ten
Ruiz felt a rush of cold air that startled him awake. “What the hell?” He opened his eyes to Melody’s beaming smile and sunny disposition. He groaned covering his head with his pillow. “Leave me alone Mel.”
“Wakey wakey sleepy head. Time to get up! We have places to be, things to do.” Her chirper tone grated at him.
“You maybe, but we have nothing to do. I’m staying right here.” And just as he finished speaking the pillow was ripped away from his head and Melody fell onto his back. He grunted under her weight but stayed as he was. He liked her weight on him, but her wet finger in his ear was irritation.
Ruiz slapped her hand away. “Quit that! What are you, two?”
“Yep.” She put her hand in his hair and pulled, hard. “And I’m about to throw one hell of a tantrum if you don’t get out of bed.”
Ruiz granted slapping her hand away again before he put his arm over his head. “Go away Mel—fuck!” He jumped at her shrilly scream in his ear, tossing her off him then quickly rolling on top of her. “What the hell!”
She grinned up at him, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “Are you up yet? Can we go now?”
Ruiz shook his head astound. “If this is you at twenty-five, I’m glad I never grew up with you.”
“Consider it practice for your daughter when she reaches her terrible twos then her teens,” she chuckled, shaking her head. “I’ll tell you now, she’ll be our worst nightmare when she hits her teens and discovers boys.”
The moment she mentioned Esme, he ran hot and cold. He was excited to finally get to hold his daughter, to cuddle her and tell her how much he loved her, to be apart of her future. But he was also scared out of his mind of tainting her, of staining her innocence with his darkness. His mother was right, he was a monster and he was frightened that in the long run he wasn’t good for her—for Esme or Melody. Maybe he should just cut all ties now before things got more complicated, distance himself before his past caught up with him and destroyed his family. He could feel it, everything good in his life since he walked into Reno’s resort was about to come to an end, all at the hand of his mother. He knew she was up to something, he just hoped he’d have time to prepare himself for the attack before it happened.
His own mother was about to bring his new world crushing down around him. If he had a choice, he would have happily chosen Cora as his mother. It may sound mean, but there are just some women in the world that shouldn’t be allowed to procreate.
Ruiz climbed off Melody and off the bed and silently walked to the bathroom.
“Ruiz, do you even want to meet her?”
Keeping his back to her he said, “I already have.”
He heard the rustling of the bed covers and suspected Melody was climbing off the bed. He couldn’t hear her footsteps because of the thick carpeting, but he was sure at that moment she was standing right behind him, debating whether or not to touch him. He had become unapproachable, his biggest defense tactic when he felt he was getting too emotional about something. And right then, he needed to protect his heart from Melody. He was a firm believer of the ‘once bitten twice shy’ saying. He didn’t believe in second chances. It was just giving someone a second try to hurt him only this time it would be worse than the first time he or she took a swing at him. He’d learnt that well from his mother and her line of husbands.
Dreamers got hurt and it was time he stopped dreaming and started living in the real world.
“Okay, let me rephrase that. Do you even want to hold her?”
Of course I do, he wanted to shout, I think of nothing more than finally having my baby in my arms! But he couldn’t taint the one good thing he’d done in his life, he just wouldn’t. So he said nothing, keeping his back to her.
“Get ready, we’re going out.” He heard the hurt in her voice and Ruiz cursed at himself.
Though he couldn’t see or hear her he knew she’d left because he couldn’t feel her presence in the room anymore. He always felt bereft when they separated, even for a moment. He turned and stared at the door, willing her to come back, to be his raft before he sank to the bottom never to surface again. He could feel himself recede into himself and there was rarely a way out for him after. But Melody and Reno had managed to open him up, to love him without expecting anything in return. And now he had a little girl who could love him something fierce if he did right by him, if his mother and his pa
st stayed where they were meant to be, in the past.
What was so wrong with dreaming, with wanting a different and better life for himself with those he loved and who loved him back? Why couldn’t he for once in his life be a dreamer?
He turned away from the door, from the mewing sounds of his daughter and the comical voice of his wife as she spoke to Esme and walked into the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror, the shadow in his eyes, the only part of himself he occasionally allowed to lay bare. Getting emotional was a sign of weakness and weakness was something he never showed no matter how much he hurt, “Because weakness will get you dead,” he echoed the words his boss told him the day he joined the gang.
But there was nothing wrong with dreaming; the problem was when reality came in. Could he navigate the two to work for him?
* * * *
They stopped at the Parc de Champs de Mars to rest—well, Ruiz rested, lying in the plush grass while Melody regrouped and tried to form a new plan to get him out of his funk. They’d practically toured the entire city and the sites that held appeal to him the first time around over a year ago just didn’t seem to have the same enticement. He looked bored at each place. What was left? Where hadn’t they gone yet?
Melody watched him and noticed he was gazing intently at something. She followed his line of sight to the Eiffel Tower. She turned back to him. His eyes were full of admiration for the aging beauty and the best part was they hadn’t been up it yet.
She stood up dusting her pants. “Let’s go up.”
He pushed himself up on his elbows and looked at her. “What?”
She pointed behind her with her thumb at the tall structure. “Let’s go up.”
He shook his head. “We’ll never make it.”
She straddled him, grabbed hold of the collars of his jacket and pulled him up. He snorted at the effort she was putting in it and took mercy on her by following her up. She smiled, proud of her accomplishment. “Yes we will.”
He pointed behind her. “Have you seen those lines? They are as long as the Exodus!”
She shrugged, taking his hand and forcefully leading him to the Exodus. “We’ll wait all day if we have to.”
He sighed, frustrated. “We don’t have the whole day remember? You dragged me all over Paris for most of it.”
“Quit bitching.” She found the shortest line. “We are waiting to get up there no matter what you say. Maybe the adrenaline rush will spike some life in you. The other places I dragged you to sure didn’t.”
He went quiet after that and since he wouldn’t speak to her anymore, she hooked her arm through his just in case he tried to ditch and lose her in the waiting masses. It was like everyone had decided to visit the tower that day. She found out then their queue was the shortest because they would have to walk up seven hundred steps to the second level. She wasn’t looking forward to it, but she’d reached the point where she would do anything to get Ruiz out of his funk. It took an hour to finally get in. She wanted to weep when she saw the steps. Ruiz snorted a laugh at her before he took her hand and led her up the steps. By the time they got to the first level, she was panting, every muscle in her body screaming bloody murder. She was sure she’d lost all the remaining baby weight from her body and it was now soaked in her clothes, slowly dragging her to the floor.
“Let’s look around, rest a bit,” Ruiz laughingly said, a spark in his eyes.
Melody was pleased with herself, but she didn’t let it show. She pouted instead, which was hard to do the way she was gasping for breath. “How is it you haven’t broken a sweat while I’m soaked through!”
“Because unlike you I exercise.”
She glared at him. “Unlike me you didn’t accumulate ten months of baby weight!” she retorted yanking her hand out of his. “Don’t touch me. It was your fault in the first place and now I feel like I’m about to lose a lung.”
He chuckled. “And I‘m not about to apologize for it. Come on, lean on me as we walk around a little. It will steady your breathing and ease the burning in your calves.”
She leaned against him and he wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her up. “Will the walk also ease the burning in my sides and the inferno in my chest?”
He chuckled. “Nope.”
She would have stuck her tongue out at him, but that too was exhausted. They moved around the first level, looking at the posters and reading the historical facts on them and admiring the historical artifacts—like the part of the original spiral staircase used by Gustav Eiffel, but the most beautiful part was the view of the city in the early evening.
Ruiz squeezed her to his side. “Come on, we have a few more steps to go.”
She groaned comically and he laughed leading her to the instrument of torture. The second level was smaller than the first but she was glad there was somewhere to sit as they waited to get tickets for the elevator to the top level. They were permitted to use the stairs all the way up—thank God! She felt like she’d barely sat down when Ruiz came for her.
“Let’s go.”
“Just five minutes more,” she whined.
He smiled indulgently at her. “You wanted to go up the Eifel Tower, remember?”
“Yeah, in a lift,” she grumbled taking his offered hands so that he could pull her up to her aching feet.
“Then why didn’t we wait for the lift?” he asked after he’d pulled her up.
“The other queues were way longer and I was worried you’d bolt.”
“So you went for the short one.” He shook his head, his lips in a suppressed smile. “Don’t you know short cuts have the worst consequences?”
“Shut up!” she chastised leaning against him.
He chuckled softly as he led her into the lift. All the way to the third level, he held her to him and she cuddled against him, her head on his chest. It was the most ‘together’ she’d felt with him in a long time. Not even the other passengers staring at them bothered her.
Ruiz turned her head to face the outside and softly said, “Look, you don’t want to miss this.”
The sun was setting and it was beautiful to see how the light from the orange glow bounced off the buildings casting a gorgeous shadow over the rest of the city beneath them. It looked beautiful and so close that she felt if she reached her hand out, she could touch the setting sun. It didn’t take long before they were at the top. Melody followed behind Ruiz, her hands holding onto his pants belt as he made a path for them through the masses for a better view. Once they got to the wall, he placed them in front of her and between two hard masses. The view of the city was simply beautiful from that height. Nothing complicated, no hardship and struggles just beauty reflected as the lights in the buildings went on is some kind of orchestrated symphony in response to the setting sun. Everything was beautiful and felt so simple from up there, she kind of wished they didn’t have to leave. They quietly stood there in each other’s arms, the noises around her disappearing as a feeling of peace settled in her. She hoped Ruiz was in the same bubble she was. They watched as the sun completely disappeared giving way to the moon then the golden lights of the tower went on and all too soon the spell was broken. The lights were to blame. They were so artificial.
As if he knew there was nothing left to entice them there, Ruiz squeezed her arms and said, “Time to go.”
It was faster getting down and they were out in a matter of minutes. They walked a few feet before Ruiz stopped and looked back at the tower. She followed suit. The golden lit tower was a different kind of beauty. It didn’t spin the same spell but it was worth awing over.
“Let’s go,” Ruiz echoed pulling her forward.
She tucked herself against his side as they walked to the hotel. “Are you glad we went up?”
His arm around her shoulders pulled her into him and he pressed his warm lips to her cool forehead in a tender kiss. “Yeah, I’m glad we went up.”
The walk back to the hotel was quiet and it would have worried Melody if he didn’
t have his hand tightly wrapped around her hand. Ruiz was thinking about something. What she didn’t know, but she hoped whatever it was, it would help draw him out of his cave and maybe he’d be more at ease about holding his daughter. She didn’t think for a second that he didn’t want Esme. She just knew that whatever Clarissa had said to him had filled his mind with doubts. She would say he was scared, but Melody couldn’t honestly say she’d ever seen him scared.
She was looking forward to getting to their temporary home, making herself a cup of coffee and cuddling with Esme, and maybe with Ruiz too. She was surprised when Ruiz didn’t head for the elevator once inside the hotel. Instead he slowed down his gait and looked around the lobby with a keen eye. She suppressed a smile; he was inspecting the place. It was a good thing then the doorman was courteous and inviting or he would have been immediately out of a job. With every area they visited in the hotel, Melody felt like she was in a different hotel. It resembled nothing like it was a month ago. Matthew had made a great decision sending Ruiz to straighten the place out, now just to get rid of her guilt for letting the place go to the dogs.
“You did a great job Ruiz,” she said shyly, hugging his arm to her chest.
He looked down at her for a moment with a sweet smile before he looked up again. “I was motivated.”
“By what?”
He shrugged. “The need to punish you, to get you back, to forget you, to annoy Antonio,” he chuckled. “Let’s just say I thought if we could revive the hotel together in the process we’d revive our relationship.”
Melody nodded, but something had her stumped. She stopped at the door to the pool and turned to Ruiz. “Why punish me? For getting involved with Antonio or for letting everyone down?”
He pushed the door open letting her go in first before he followed, her hand still in his. “Both, but mostly because you let the place fall apart. All I could think of was, I almost lost my sister and would have never met her, and you almost lost your brother because of this hotel and—”