by Frost, Ada
“Did you at least get her a present?” Acis asked, contempt for our sister evident in the curl of his lip.
“That’s her job. She said she’d take care of that shit,” Rhea pointed toward me.
“Unbelievable,” he huffed, throwing his hands up in the air. Cas shook his head.
“What?” she said, turning her anger on Castor. “Cat got your tongue? Come on big guy, s-s-s-s-say s-s-s-something.” Her exaggerated stutter cut through me like a knife. She laughed like she was the most hilarious person in the world.
Castor gave her the finger and stormed into the house. Rhea turned and caught sight of Will standing silently beside the bouncy castle. Her eyes lit on fire. I swallowed my urge to jump in front of her and block her view of him, but it was pointless; the challenge was already racing through her veins.
“Who is this?” she said, trying to, I assume, look seductive, but she just came across like a drunken letch.
“Will, Johan’s brother,” I said softly. I stared helplessly as she sauntered up to him and held out her manicured hand. He looked over her shoulder at me, ignoring her. I silently implored him to walk to me, to step away from her and come to my side. But when her hand cupped his cheek and he looked down at her, I closed my eyes and conceded the battle. My sister was a hard limit for me, and I refused to even acknowledge attraction to a man my sister had designs on; it was safer that way. Without looking at them again, I turned and went in search of my baby girl. Lou was standing at the door waiting for me. She squeezed my shoulder as I passed by.
“You okay, babe?”
I shook my head. “I need my babygirl.” Izzy was the one thing Rhea wasn’t interested in taking away from me; we were a team, my babygirl and me. She would never let me down.
What the fuck was going on? Emily just said Izzy was this woman’s daughter, but how could that be? I’d heard the little girl with my own ears call Em Mummy. Did that mean the guy currently with his hands around my woman wasn’t her dad? And what the fuck – my woman? She wasn’t my woman; I didn't have anyone to call mine anymore. Not that I wouldn’t want to claim her as such, but I had too much shit going on in my own head. I refused to let another woman into my life to rip me apart again. But Emily was a phenomenon I couldn't resist. She made me do things, become someone I didn't recognise. I wasn’t the guy to take a woman when and wherever the feeling took. Jesus, I’d accosted her against a fucking tree at a child’s birthday party. I still had her perfect scent on my fingers and taste in my mouth. I wanted to claim her, mark her and make her scream my name while I thrust my dick into her tight, wet pussy. I knew it was wrong, doing what we did while kids were running around, but I couldn't stop myself. I needed to taste her. The most adventurous Marissa allowed was when she jerked me off in the shower, and even then she spent a fucking hour cleaning it afterward. Apparently it was too distracting to have sex knowing the tiles were unsanitary. Good job she didn't know I did that alone in the shower most mornings.
I watched from a secure distance as the scene unfolded. My blood boiled when the pudgy little fucker leaned down and kissed Em. I straightened my spine and flexed my shoulders. My lips and my body were just pressed against her, you little bastard. It was my mouth she craved -
“Hey handsome, aren’t you a breath of fresh air.” The soft, sickly purr of her sister sounded in my ears, but I couldn't take my eyes off Emily. I stared over at my pixie; she looked so desolate and sad I wanted to run up to her, hold her in my arms, and kiss that look off her face. I wanted the bright blue eyes and wide smile back. Her brother stood beside her, glaring at me, silently challenging me to do something. I had no clue what, but if he thought to try and keep me away from Em, challenge fucking accepted. I wasn’t doing that shit anymore.
I was so busy watching my pixie I didn't realise her sister was talking to me until her hand cupped my cheek. I jerked my head back and glared down at her. Her hand dropped to my chest and I noticed she had her claws painted bright red. How the fuck did women do anything with nails that long?
“What’s your name, gorgeous?” she sighed. God, how was she Emily’s twin? She had none of Em’s sparkle. Her eyes were a darker blue, too, not the gorgeous sky blue I loved to watch turn iridescent as she came apart in my arms. A flash of the night I met Pix flew through my mind, making me smile.
“Irrelevant,” I said.
“What?” she asked, her face scrunching up in a confused scowl.
“Never mind.” I stepped around her and started walking into the house.
“You’ll be back; they always are,” she shouted behind me.
Not in this lifetime, sweetheart; you don’t take second place when you’ve already won the race.
I walked by her brother. He glared at me like he wanted to rip my skin from my body. “Stay the fuck away from Emily,” he growled.
“No.”
He grabbed my arm, halting me. I wasn’t a fighter by any means. The last time I hit anyone was the sick little fuckers who had cornered Jo and was making his life hell. I hadn’t even punched the bastard the day my marriage ended. But this dick was getting on my last nerve. I looked down at his hand and back at him.
“You really want to let go, chump,” I said, with an irritating popping sound. He stepped closer; I was a good few inches taller than him, so I straightened to my full height, towering above the little fucker. It was a childish pissing contest, but I wasn’t giving in. Em was mine and he needed to know that.
“You stay away from Em. Take the easy shot,” he pointed in the direction of his other sister. “Don’t fuck with Emily; I will make you live to regret it.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Step the fuck back, dickhead.”
He stepped forward, lifting his chin so he could meet my eyes. I had to give him credit, he wasn’t backing off and he was going to try and take me down. Gotta respect a man for protecting his family.
“Problem?” Johan shouted from the door. He jogged down the garden toward us. He placed his hand on my chest and pushed slightly. If I had wanted, I could have prevented him from moving me, but I wasn’t getting into it with my brother. I was already in the shit with him, and he was one man I would never strike.
“You need to keep this fucker on a leash. Stay away from my sister.”
“Now, now, Acis, this macho big brother stuff is sweet, but gorgeous here is going to take good care of me,” Rhea said sliding her arm through mine. She was like a vine weed you couldn't get rid of.
I scowled down at her and pulled at my arm, but the frigging bitch dug her nails into my bicep.
“You make me sick, Rhea,” Acis said, stalking into the house.
Johan stared at her arm banded through mine. I untangled her from me. My head hurt from her suffocating perfume.
“I’ll meet you inside,” she cooed, running her palm down my chest. I was having a shower when I got home.
Johan stared at me like I was a total stranger. I’d seen that look in his eyes years back when Ryan first introduced us. He was a terrified kid and I’d essentially helped his uncle kidnap him from the bastard molesting him. I clenched my jaw, hating that I was now disappointing him. “Can we go for a drink?”
“I have to get Lou and the kids home,” he said quietly and turned to walk away.
“I want to explain…stuff,” I said urgently, running my hands through my hair. If I had gotten one thing from Acis and his hardass act, it was I needed my family back. I was done pushing them away. I couldn't get through this alone, not anymore.
He didn't turn to face me, but when he spoke his voice was deep and deadly. I’d seriously fucked up. “Explain what? Her or the fact you’ve been fucking about with Emily?” The contempt dripping from his words pissed me off, but in a way I deserved them. He was angry I was shutting him out.
“I want to explain why I left Marissa.” God, saying her name was like a knife being driven into my gut.
“Why?”
“You’re my brother.”
“An
d?”
“I…I need my brother.” I felt like a total pussy for saying that, but I really didn't want us at each other’s throats. I missed him, and I’d come over here hoping he would bring me out of the shitstorm I’d caught myself in.
He nodded. “I’ll take the kids home, and then we can go to the apartment. I’ll meet you there.”
“Yeah.”
He walked away from me into the house. I stared at Emily’s home for a few moments and followed him inside. Lou was packing the kids’ stuff away. I could hear raised voices from upstairs.
“Take the kids home, honey,” Lou said, handing a sleeping Alfie over to my brother. Ellie stood beside him, looking ready to burst into tears.
“What about you?”
“I’m not leaving Em. I don’t know what time I’ll be home –”
“I’ll come back for you,” I said firmly, so she knew not to argue. Johan turned to glare at me, but Lou smiled and nodded. I don’t know why I had an insistent need to make sure Emily wasn’t upset. But I had a throbbing in my chest that I knew wouldn’t disperse unless I had word she was doing okay. The shit that happened today extinguished the fire, the beautiful light in her eyes, and I wanted to make sure someone could ignite it again. Emily was too bright not to be happy. And I was making it my business to ensure that happened. We left the house and headed back to Johan’s place. I had shit to explain and I prayed to God he’d understand and not kick my ass.
Johan put the kids to bed. I could hear Ellie crying because her friend, Izzy, was upset and her party had been ruined. Johan was brilliant with her.
“She finally settled?” I asked as he walked into their kitchen. I leaned against the counter with my coffee. I handed him a beer.
“Thanks. She’s a sensitive kid.” He shrugged. He jumped up on the counter and took a long pull from his bottle. I stared into the brown liquid in my mug, knowing shit was about to change between us, and I was breaking a promise to the woman I had spent twenty fucking years loving.
“She cheated on me,” I said quietly.
“What?”
“Mar. For eighteen months, apparently, she’d been fucking some guy from her office. Remember Brock Davies?”
Johan’s face scrunched in thought. “Isn’t that who she was dating just before you hooked up?” I’d hardly call it hooking up at fourteen, but I didn’t correct him.
“Well, apparently, they reconnected.” I snorted. “Our entire marriage she was fucking another guy. She said it just happened. How the fuck does something like that just happen? You make a choice to fuck someone. You make a choice to break your marriage vows, it doesn’t just happen.” I slammed my cup on the counter and walked across the kitchen. “She said it was a shock seeing her first love again and her feelings had gotten all mixed up. She tried blaming the stress of the wedding, but come on, she paid people to organise the entire day.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “She was my first love. She was my first everything. She lied about that too. I wasn’t her first.” I swallowed back the emotion. I’d waited a fucking year to sleep with her, a whole year because she said she didn't want to rush into it and a girl’s first time was special. It happened just as she wanted and planned. Like a sappy little shit, I did everything she wanted to make her happy, when all along someone else had been there before me. I had thought we’d grow old together, each other’s first and last love. What a crock of bullshit.
“What about your kid, Will? He doesn’t deserve abandoning. You could still be a dad, just because –”
I laughed as pain sliced through me. “He isn’t mine,” I choked out. I grabbed the back of the chair as I staggered forward. Losing Marissa was hard, but waiting nine months and being as excited as fuck that I was going to be a dad, and then having it ripped away was a pain I couldn't even describe.
“What? How–”
“I was at the birth; the most fucking terrifying moment of my life was watching my wife go through all that pain. I couldn’t do a thing to help her, Jo. I was completely helpless. But then this loud cry happened and there he was, this perfect little guy I’d waited nine months to meet—a boy—he…” I slumped down in the chair and covered my face with my hands. “Mar was crying, and like a total pussy, when they handed him to me, this tiny little person, I cried like a baby. He was so small I thought I’d break him. He had loads of dark hair and his face was all pink and purple. I stared at him for ages, because I couldn't believe I was a dad and he was mine. He was absolutely perfect...” I wiped at my face, feeling tears rolling down. I turned away from Jo so he couldn't see what a wuss I was being.
“I’ve felt that happy three times in my life, Jo. Once when you hugged me, when Marissa said ‘I do,’ and when they placed that kid in my arms.” My chest ached so bad I closed my eyes and willed the pain away.
“H-how do you know he’s not yours?” Jo asked quietly.
“Ten minutes after he was born, that’s all I had with him, ten lousy minutes, Brock came into the room and said it was his kid. I laughed, no, seriously, I laughed, thinking I was being punked. But Marissa started crying and begging me to let her explain. Like a stupid fucker, I just stood there holding the kid. Nothing made any sense. Then I looked at Brock and down at the kid and saw it. He was just like him. And just like that, my son was gone.” I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled, hard. “I said bye to the little guy and left. I just… walked away and…and I just walked away.” Jo’s arms came around me and I realised I was crying. The pain I’d felt for over a year strangled me, pulling me down into an agonising void of nothing.
“I’m sorry, bro. But maybe a paternity –”
“Brock already took care of that, just to add another nail to the death of my marriage. I hoped it was a mistake; I prayed the test would come back as him being mine. I’d have loved him even if I hated his mother.”
I slumped over the table and drained my body of the hurt, anger, and the grief I’d felt at losing a kid I’d loved. I allowed my pain to explode and release into the open. I battled against letting it all sink in, allowing the pain to take hold because I knew once I allowed it, it would break me. Marissa had been the centre of my universe since I was fourteen years old. I married her thinking we would grow old together, watch our kids and grandkids grow into adults we were proud of. I felt a little lost without her, not asking her opinion, not waking up beside her in the morning. But each night I drank myself into oblivion, so waking in the morning was painful enough to take away the hurt of not having her in my arms anymore. I’d even considered going back, forgiving her. We’d been together for so long. Maybe I was to blame for her cheating somehow; maybe I wasn’t satisfying her. But then the paternity test came through and I knew I couldn't look at the little man without seeing his real dad, and that would be a pain I couldn't face day in, day out.
“Why didn’t you just tell us this? Mom thinks she has a grandson. She’s going to be heartbroken.”
I shook my head. “Mom isn’t as clueless as we take her for.”
“Marissa is there every day, Will; I talk to mom nightly. You do know she’s planning on coming over here to see us, right?”
I laughed and wiped my face. “Mom hates flying; there is no way she will sit on a plane for–”
“She has the tickets booked.”
“Shit,” I muttered.
“Her boys are too far away from home,” Johan said in a brilliant voice that sounded just like Dad. “She’s even dragging Ryan here with her. When he’s next on leave, they are jumping on a plane and invading the UK.”
“He’s seeing someone now, a therapist. Erin, I think her name is.”
Johan nodded. “Good for him. Nice change of subject, by the way.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes. “I’m sorry I was a dick to you.”
“Yeah, you were,” I said truthfully because I was still bitter my own brother thought so badly of me.
“I just – it wasn’t you, you know? It was a shock to hear you left your wif
e and kid. Since you were a horny teenager, she was the only girl I ever knew you liked. I couldn't understand it. I’d do anything for Lou and Alfie, and I was angry you could just walk away. But I get it now. So I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat, because it was still raw to think about Marissa. “Can we have our dicks back now? Man, we’re turning into chicks.”
Johan laughed and slapped me on the back. “You always were a pussy.”
“Fuck you, dickhead.”
We both laughed and it felt great to finally have Jo back. I may have been the older brother, but it didn't mean I didn't seek his approval.
Johan’s phone bleeped in his pocket. “Lou is ready. You sure you don’t mind –”
“I’m on it,” I said, standing. I wouldn’t admit I wanted a small glimpse of Em again; no, that wasn’t my motivation at all. I was doing a good deed for my future sister-in-law.
“Will?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t hurt her, okay? She’s got more shit going on and doesn’t –”
“I promise, Jo, I won’t.”
I walked into the club, smiling at a few people I recognised. Phil was in his domain behind the bar, the patriarch of the entire place. The place was already heaving and it wasn’t even seven yet. Friday was his busiest night because he had an early-bird offer until nine pm. Phil had phoned me earlier in the day to ask if I could work tonight for him because one of his regular bartenders had called in sick and Friday he needed all hands on deck. And truthfully I needed the extra cash. Usually, he needed everyone there before five to get set up, but I didn't finish at Ealing Pharmaceuticals until five, and then I had Izzy to take to her dad’s and there was no way I was missing a few hours with her when I wouldn’t see her all weekend.
When I approached the bar, I noticed a very large, sexy back attached to the same man who’d starred in every sexual fantasy I’d had this past week. When Phil called out to me, Will turned his full attention my way.