Double Betrayal (Surviving Book 3)

by Frost, Ada

  “Em?” Will’s voice echoed through my ears as I stared unapologetically as my brother comforted Hadley. “Emily? Pix, you’re scaring me.”

  “I think she’s lost the baby again,” I choked, tears prickling my eyes as pain sliced through me. Will turned to look behind him just as Castor ushered Hadley out of the house, his arm firmly around her shoulders. The door closed quietly behind them and I was left in a void of empty despair. Will’s hands ran softly up and down my thighs, his usual heat not penetrating as all I felt was cold and lonely. Empty.

  “Em?”

  “I think,” I cleared my dry throat, “maybe you should go.” I stood and walked to the kitchen sink to stare out the window. I couldn’t fall apart; I didn't do that. I didn’t let people see my tears, and especially not fuck buddies – okay, so that wasn’t entirely fair. I knew he was more than that. But it was too much.

  Comforting, strong arms slid around my waist and held me. No demand, no words, just simple comfort. He allowed me a few moments of silent reprieve.

  “Talk to me, baby; you looked like you’ve seen a ghost.” He pressed a soft kiss to my temple, and the tears threatening to fall spilled down my cheeks like heavy rainfall. I hadn’t cried about it in years. I usually managed to lock it all away.

  “I was pregnant, once.” I swallowed, trying to take the words I hadn’t spoken in years back in. Will’s arm tightened around me and gently he pulled me into the cocoon of his body. “I was eighteen, madly in love and completely stupid.”

  He didn't speak; his soft lips rubbed against the side of my face as he waited patiently.

  “Not much to say, really; it was a silly –”

  His strong arms lifted me into the air and walked us through the house. He sat on the sofa and brought me down to nestle between his legs. “Your heart is breaking, Emily; I can see it. And it’s killing me watching you go through a pain I can’t stop, so this lying bullshit is not cool with me. You want me to stop talking about it, fine, but don’t cause yourself more pain by denying it and making something that cuts you deep even worse. I won’t let anyone hurt you, least of all yourself.”

  His words were soft and gentle, spoken with sensitive truth. But each word sliced open another part of me I kept hidden. A part I didn't want to deal with, I couldn't deal with.

  “Jack and I were engaged,” I heard myself say, the words tumbling out of my mouth without provocation. “I loved him so much; we had been together two years. When we went to university, I cried so much because I would be away from him, but he promised once we finished our degrees we would save for our own place and get married.” Will’s body tightened around me; his legs, arms, and face all folding into me, saving me from the hurt. He became my human shield, and even more of my heart became his.

  “I hadn’t seen him in three weeks. My classes finished early and I drove home late that night; he knew I was coming. But when I got to his house –” I hiccupped, remembering the sight that had been before me and the pain of losing three people all at once.

  “He was with another woman?” Will guessed.

  “Rhea,” I whispered, hating her name rolling off my tongue. Will tensed, every fibre of his being a solid statue. “I was pregnant; he didn’t know. I had the kit in my bag to take it with him, to find out together if we were to become parents. I didn’t know what to do once I opened the bedroom door and… I ran. I couldn't speak; it hurt too much. It’s a sight I will always see—her riding–” Will slid his fingers over my mouth. He pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek.

  “Where did you go?”

  “Castor and Acis. They are where I always go. Only, Jack knew that and followed. They beat the shit out of him. I was catatonic, Will; I couldn't speak. I would have stopped them, but–”

  “Why?”

  “Because it wasn’t right–”

  “I feel like ripping the bastard’s head off now, never mind when it happened.”

  I snuggled into his warm chest.

  “What happened with the baby?”

  “Jack wouldn’t stop calling and coming to the house; no matter what my brothers did, he stood outside shouting for me. He harassed me with phone calls and standing outside waiting for me. Then Rhea started verbally attacking me and I lost it; I just couldn't cope. So, one night, Cas packed a bag and we took off in his car. He drove until we needed petrol. We slept in the car or we found a cheap B&B. After a fortnight, we came home and nothing was ever the same. People I’d known my entire life looked different. I went back to university with an overprotective brother in tow and life continued. Castor camped out on the sofa in my shared student house. Jack claims he had no clue it was Rhea; she had dressed exactly like me, wore her hair and everything like me. But he should have known. We were intimate for a long time. He should have known.”

  I took a deep breath. I could feel my heart trying to break free. “I started getting myself together. I stopped crying myself to sleep at night, but then Rhea dropped the bombshell she was carrying Jack’s baby, too. It wasn’t the first time Rhea had been pregnant, but she decided to keep Jack’s. Whether it was to hurt me more or trap him, I have no idea. But she only accomplished one of those. I refused to come home. I stayed at university and became a hermit in my house. I didn't want to see anyone, but Castor and Acis didn't let that happen. They were like annoying guards.” I took a deep breath, readying myself for the pain. “I was thirty-four weeks pregnant when I started bleeding. I panicked and Cas rushed me to the hospital. The doctors checked me over and everything was fine; I was a little dehydrated and needed to rest. But a week later, I woke in absolute agony and the bleeding was far worse. When Castor took me to the hospital, the scan showed that my baby had died. She’d just…faded away.”

  I coughed, choking on the tears clogging my throat. The pain invading my body took my breath away. I gripped at Will’s shirt, closing my eyes tightly, but that only made it worse. “I had to give birth to her and I cried the entire time. I prayed they were wrong. I prayed when she arrived she would take a breath and scream the place down. They asked if I wanted to hold her. At first I said no, but Castor, who stood by me the entire time, asked to hold her. He cried and kissed her before he held her out to me, my baby girl – Clara Mae. My little angel was called Clara Mae. I lost more than my baby that day, Will; I lost me.”

  “I’ll find you again, I swear it.”

  “No–”

  “I'm in now, Emily Richards. I will fight for you, even if I have to fight you yourself. I will find you, pixie-girl. How did Izzy come to be in your care?”

  “Legally, she isn’t in my care. Rhea and Jack share custody. But Rhea wanted nothing to do with her the moment she was born. Jack made it pretty clear he would be a father, but nothing more. He hates Rhea about as much as I do. Once she realised a baby didn’t snag her a man, she abandoned Izzy. She literally walked out of the hospital and left her there in the special care unit. She didn’t pick out a name, buy her any clothes, nothing. It’s kind of lucky we are identical, otherwise I never would have pulled off being Rhea to bring Izzy home.” I took a deep breath and waited for Will’s explosion at my illegal activity. I was aware he was a practising lawyer in the States, so crap knew what he would do. When he stayed silent, a sick fear festered in my stomach. “Say something, Will.”

  “You – Jesus, Emily! How long after losing Clara did this happen?”

  “Twenty-seven days. Izzy was premature; that’s why she had to spend a few weeks in the hospital.” I choked on the emotion at hearing her name.

  “Fucking hell! I don’t…I have no idea how you did that. I’m so sorry–”

  “I don’t need your pity, Will,” I bristled and tried to pull away from him. I wasn’t going anywhere, though; his tank of a body cocooned me and held me captive.

  His lips pressed against my ear. “You have my admiration. You have my loyalty. I’m pretty sure you’re stealing my heart, but you most certainly don’t have my pity. Pixie, hearing you say what happened makes me w
ant to fall at your feet and worship you. Your fucking strength to come back from that amazes me. And Izzy is a credit to what an amazing parent you are.”

  An embarrassing sob broke free. “But that’s the thing; I’m not her mum.”

  “Yes, you are. The term ‘mom’ or ‘parent’ isn’t something you deserve for creating life; it’s a title you earn for the love and life you provide for a child. My mom and dad are amazing. I feel honoured to have them in my life. They adopted Johan and Ryan from a shitty life and earned their love.”

  “I didn't know Johan was adopted.”

  “Exactly. Life is gritty and pretty shit at times, but if you have strong people in your life who love you for the real you, then it becomes pretty perfect. My mom had Johan thrust upon her by Ryan and me. We basically kidnapped him from hell, but she opened her arms and became his saviour.”

  “Will?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Find me, please.”

  “Already searching, Pix.”

  One Month later

  “I want to ask you on another date, but I swear, no suits this time. In fact, I will pre-warn you I will be wearing jeans and a polo shirt. Possibly a sweater, seeing as it’s freezing here.”

  “You’re lucky it’s this warm. It’s unseasonably warm for this time of year.”

  I hugged my arms around me and exaggerated a shiver, making my woman laugh. Her sweet tinkle always woke a certain body part that was perpetually magnetised to her.

  “So, this date–”

  “Ah, yes. Jo and Lou are having a little get-together. Her sister and boyfriend or husband – whatever, I can’t remember–”

  “Dominic and Eve?” I interjected, but he kept talking anyway.

  “—are coming over, and her parents, I think.”

  “She never said –”

  “It’s all being arranged by Jo, and because I wanted to ask you. I’m being official here, woman!”

  “Oh,” she chuckled. “Well go on then – ask!”

  “I am, but you keep interrupting me.”

  “I love when you get all riled,” she said, standing on tiptoe and nipping at my chin. Without me bending, my little pixie couldn't reach my mouth, but let’s face it, I couldn't deny myself her lips – ever. I bent my head forward and captured her mouth. “Be my date.” I moaned against her mouth and pressed her against the wall. My body prickled with need; my balls tightened as her scent assaulted me.

  “Urgh!” groaned a little voice beside me.

  “Urgh!” groaned a deep male voice I knew to be Castor. Emily smiled against my lips as I pulled away, still pinning her to the wall. Both Castor and Izzy stood with their hands covering their eyes. I laughed and Castor dropped his hands and tapped Izzy to gain her attention before he started signing.

  “You go blind kissing?” she said through laughter. Castor slapped his forehead in despair.

  Both Emily and I started laughing. “Yes, you will go blind kissing,” Emily said, patting Izzy on the head. I leaned down and scooped the little girl into my arms. I adored this kid; in the short time I had gotten to know this family, they had strangely begun to feel like home. I hated going back to my empty apartment at night and leaving them behind. I had only stayed over at the weekends when Jack had Izzy. I hadn’t been there through the week, or as Em liked to call them, school nights.

  “So what do you say to another date, little one?” I asked Izzy, looking directly at her. Sometimes I found she struggled with my accent in understanding me. She could lip read me fine, but sometimes hearing was an issue.

  “Where? Billy Ben’s again?” I smiled as I shook my head. It had been pretty awesome running around with her.

  “Jo and Lou’s house. I think Ellie will be there, and Alfie.” She started nodding so violently I had to tighten my hold on her.

  “Wait! When is it?” Emily interrupted.

  “Saturday afternoon, but they wanted –”

  “She goes to her dad’s at the weekends.”

  “Aww, I want to play with Will and Ellie.”

  “But –”

  “No fair!” Izzy screeched and buried her face in my neck. I looked helplessly at Castor as I held a grumbling Izzy and stood beside a scowling pixie. The douche lifted his thumbs and grinned at me – bastard!

  “What about if we ask Jack if we can borrow her for a few hours Saturday, and then take her –”

  “You don’t borrow children, Will. The weekends are his time. He won’t like me trying to change it. We have a deal; you can’t just change it because –”

  “W-w-whoa!” Castor stepped forward with his hands held up. He started communicating with her. I hadn’t a clue what he was saying, but he motioned to me a few times.

  “Fine,” she huffed at him before looking at me. “Sorry, we can’t go.” She reached out and took Izzy from my arms. Castor looked up at the ceiling and growled out in frustration. “I have to get her bathed and ready for bed.” I hated how dejected her voice sounded.

  “Em?” I reached out and tugged her elbow, but she shrugged me off and continued walking. I spun around and glared at Castor the friendly fucking shit stirring douche.

  “What the fuck did you say?” I growled. The dickhead just grinned at me. “So, this is going to be one-sided because I don’t speak chicken shit.” I knew I was being a bastard, calling him a coward, but he’d just made my girl turn me down flat and lose all her sparkle. He lost the grin and stepped toward me. I mirrored his stance. I wouldn’t get into an altercation with him, mainly because the girls upstairs would never witness that from me.

  “I know you stutter; I couldn’t give two shits you struggle with speech. What I do give a fuck about is my girlfriend is upset and I have no idea what you just said to her. Without knowing, I can’t fix it, Castor. I can’t fix it when I don’t know what –”

  “J-J-J-Jack a-and R-r-r,” he paused and took a deep breath. I stepped back to give him some space. “They h-h-have –”He opened his mouth really wide and moved his jaw, as if stretching his entire face. His face coloured bright red when he caught me watching. I averted my gaze. “Izzy is their pawn; they play Em like a fucking fiddle. She daren’t ask for more.” Some words slurred together and I struggled with the rushed way he spoke, but I got the message, loud and clear.

  “Thanks.” And I truly meant it.

  I waited until Emily had finished with Izzy in the bathroom, and walked up the stairs. She was listening to Izzy read. I slowly opened the door to see Izzy tucked into her bed with Emily lying beside her. A soft lamp was beside her bed, making them both seem ethereal in the warm glow. They both looked up when I entered the room. I sat on the bed beside Izzy and reached out and placed my hand on Emily’s knee, needing the skin contact.

  “So, this weekend you still go to see your dad.” I held up my hand when Izzy started to protest. “You spend your time with Ja – your dad like you always do, and I promise I will ask Ellie’s parents if we can take her to Billy Ben’s after school next week. Is that a deal?”

  Her little face brightened. “Really?” she gasped. I glanced at Em, who was trying to suppress a smile.

  “I may need to win our girl over, here, but give me the weekend to work on her. Deal?” I held out my hand for her to shake, but she flung her tiny little body at me and tackled me by the neck.

  “Deal, deal, deal.” She hugged me tightly. “Let him work you over,” she whispered to Emily. I choked on a laugh, but I would definitely work her over. All weekend, if she allowed me to. I glanced across at Emily and she mouthed ‘thank you’ before lowering her gaze to the comforter. Her beautiful milky-white skin tinged a sexy pink and I couldn't resist leaning over and placing a kiss on her cheek.

  ***

  I opened my apartment door and startled at the figure sitting on the couch watching TV.

  “What the fuck, Jo?”

  He turned his head to look at me, then lifted his shoulders in a shrug and turned his attention back to the TV.

  “Jo?�
��

  “I just needed to give Lou some space.”

  “What?” I stepped forward, worry taking form in my gut at the lack of emotion in his voice. I knew that side of him and I had thought Lou had finally abolished it.

  “Jo, what’s going on?” I slid my keys onto the side table and slowly approached him. I sat on the opposite sofa from him, watching his profile. His jaw was set in a tense line, his hands balled into fists. Johan had had the childhood from hell, and when I say hell, I mean his grandfather was the devil. I’d never really experienced fear before, not until I looked into his eight-year-old eyes. The kid was terrified of his own fucking shadow, and I couldn't blame him. Ryan was different; he was tough and fought back. My buddy in front of me was tortured beyond anyone’s comprehension. When he came to live in the UK, I believed he’d freak out and we’d lose him forever. I’d begged Marissa to relocate to the UK. We could have started our own firm, raised a family, but she was adamant she wanted to stay close to her family. I hated having to watch Jo get on a plane and leave us to go thousands of miles away. I knew it was a long shot asking Mar; she’d always hated how close Ry, Jo, and I were. It was one thing we did argue about. I usually submitted to her, accepted what she wanted made her happy, and all I wanted was to please her – what a fucking douche I was.

  “Jo?”

  “What do you think stops you from loving someone?”

  I pulled back, startled by his words. What the hell was he talking about? I opened my mouth to speak, but he continued talking, almost to himself, seeing as he was staring out the window.

  “I mean, do you just wake up one morning and decide ‘I don’t love you anymore’?”