by Frost, Ada
“You okay?” Will’s arms slid around my waist and his chin rested on my shoulder as we stared down into the face of Johan and Lou’s newborn baby girl. Lou was dozing in the bed as Johan stood proudly grinning from ear to ear as he held an inquisitive Alfie in his arms.
“I’m fine,” I breathed. “Kind of makes you want one of your own, doesn’t it?” I uttered distractedly as I gazed down at the happy bundle in my arms. Will’s arms tensed around me; his breath hitched, and I closed my eyes, regretting my words. It wasn’t as if I was saying I definitely wanted a baby, or that I was even ready for a family. We’d dealt with a lot of crap over the past few months. His ex-wife had made the divorce messy and turned it into a bitch fest. She tried stating I was the reason he left her and we had been having an affair. When that didn’t work, she tried blaming the dissolution on Will, saying he wouldn’t try to repair their marriage, and that she was willing to try counselling. Every time, his lawyer came back with her own infidelity, and proof was in the little boy. Eventually, she accepted a settlement and in a couple of weeks, the divorce would be completely final and she would no longer be my man’s wife. Rhea had also tried causing problems, but this time Will stood tall, like the intimidating giant he was, and fought for me and my baby girl. Rhea also received a custodial sentence for dangerous driving. If I wanted to be completely honest, I was drained emotionally, and my defences were at an all-time low. In that room, with the people I loved the most, I didn’t care; they could see me raw. Staring down at Molly, I couldn’t help the longing manifesting in my gut. The maternal need to have one of my own. I swiped at the tears collecting on my chin. I could understand if Will didn’t want kids. We hadn’t been together all that long, and especially not long enough to start discussing a family. I tried to rationalise it in my head, but it didn’t stop the pain throbbing in my heart. I never imagined I could even think about starting a family, let alone want it so badly. I’d always believed Clara-Mae was my only chance, and to want more would be disrespecting her. But I would never forget her; she would always be my babygirl, and no matter what or where I would be in life, she would remain in my heart.
“Pixie?” he said, brushing his large fingers against Molly’s delicate little fist. “You saying you want a baby, Emily?” he whispered against my ear. I shivered as his softly spoken words tickled. I wanted to lie and say it was a joke, a mere hormonal slip all women had while holding a baby, but when I brushed my finger down the tiny button nose of my niece, I couldn’t lie. Denying what I felt inside would hurt far too much.
“You want my baby?”
Fear strangled me, preventing me from speaking. I dipped my chin in a tiny nod, hoping he would let it go. I couldn’t hear his rebuff right now; my heart was open and I had nothing to guard against his words.
“You want to make me a daddy?”
I closed my eyes as a sob broke out of me. “Will– ”
“I ain’t playing games here, Pix. I’m asking if you’re serious about making me a father?”
“Yes.”
“You need to hand the baby back to her daddy.”
“Why?”
“Just do it,” he insisted. “Jo, take the baby.”
Johan looked over at us with a frown on his face. He looked between us, seemed to register something on Will’s face, and grinned. He walked around the bed and I handed a sleeping bundle to him, hating how cold and empty my arms felt.
“She’s beautiful–” I yelped when I was spun around and lifted into the air. Will squeezed me against him and spun me around again.
“You mean it? Promise you mean it, Emily.”
I laughed, loving the light sparkling in his eyes. I threaded my fingers through his hair and nodded. “I swear it. I want your babies.”
“You hear that, Jo? She wants my babies.”
“I hear,” he chuckled.
He started walking out of the room, holding me against his chest. “Where are you going?”
“Practice makes perfect.”
I giggled and tightened my arms around his neck. “I love you.”
“Absolute magic.”
He walked us through the hospital, still holding me. “Will, please put me down. People are staring at us.”
“Let them. I don’t care. You want my babies.”
“You’re too cute.” I pressed a kiss to his neck and rested my cheek on his shoulder, knowing there was no way he was going to put me on my feet. After walking for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only minutes, we exited the hospital. We headed over to his car, but still he didn’t put me down. He pressed my back against the car and pinned me to cool metal.
“We’re forever, and I can’t wait to begin our happily ever after.”
“It may take a few attempts.”
“I’m hoping so.” He pressed a kiss to my lips, making me smile. He was sex obsessed.
“You’re—”
“Will, Will!” Johan’s panicked shout startled us. Will let my legs go as we turned to see Johan running out the hospital doors. His panic-stricken face had my heart sinking. Molly.
I moved around Will and jogged toward Johan. He was shaking head to toe; his face was deathly white and he had his phone clutched in his hand. The pallor of his skin made his eyes pop, and the fear in them terrified me.
“Johan–”
His eyes were fixed behind me on Will. He appeared to be seeking strength from his brother.
“Mom called; there was some kind of patrol ambush. His platoon was wiped out; there were only three casualties brought to the infirmary.”
Will had moved around me to stand beside Johan.
“Jo–”
“She and Dad are boarding a plane, Will; if she’s flying out there, it has to be bad, right?”
“No, it means her boy is hurt and she wants to see him. Mother’s instinct.”
“She said it was a roadside bomb.” Johan’s legs wobbled and Will wrapped his arm around him, bringing him tight against his body. “He can’t die, Will.”
Will remained silent. I saw his arm tighten around his brother, but when his eyes met mine, I saw it.
Fear.
Doubt.
Grief.
Hot Tree Editing, Becky and her team are absolutely amazing. You ladies have been incredible with the support, guidance and editorial talent. Thank you.
Virginia, Susan, Mandy, Andrea, Carrie, Jessica, and Mayaan for beta reading for me. I try to take in all your comments and work with your encouraging remarks. My story overall becomes so much fuller and closer to my vision with your support thank you.
Linda, who puts up with all my crazy messages and insane ramblings. Thank you for being my friend, critic partner, cover partner and all round beautifully amazing person. I love you. Without you, none of my books would be out there. Your encouragement and continued support has brought me where I am today. Thank you for Quinn.
Mr G thank you for allowing me to monopolise your wife’s attention and for being a real life hero.
KC, TL, Debbie, Jennifer, Jen, Hazel, Annette, Summer, Ang and Rachel. You ladies supported me from the very beginning and I will always hold a special place in my heart for you.
Maje for loving Dominic almost as much as I do.
My husband and my babies, who I neglect so much when my head is stuck in writing mode. I disappear into a word they struggle to reach and they sit by patiently waiting for me to emerge. I love you all so very much, my life would mean nothing without you. My man, who I don’t tell enough how much you mean to me. I know I’m crazy and you struggle to keep up with the weird and wonderful world of books but thank you for trying. Thank you for loving me, thank you for supporting me you’re my heart.
For anyone who has read my books and supported my venture as an author. To every reviewer who has taken a chance on me.