“I can do that, Kieran,” Quinn admonishes, fussing with the baby’s forever-falling-off socks.
“I’ve missed a month.”
She nods and lays her head back on the couch.
“So your parents?” she asks warily.
“My dad’s a thief. Has been his whole life. Did a nickel when I was a teenager. Only time he’s been caught and that’s ’cause someone ratted. He was a decent enough dad. Never hit, never cheated, always kept a roof over our head and food on the table. Ma’s a seamstress, works outta the house. She wanted a big family, a shit load of kids, but only got me and miscarriages. So she fusses over me as much as I can stand.”
“Are they gonna have an issue with us?”
“Nah. Ma’ll be happy to have kids to fawn over. Dad’s easy enough. They just wanna know what’s goin’ on with us. Don’t worry. They’ll love you all.”
“Okay. So what’s goin’ on with us?”
“What do you mean?” I ask with a scowl.
“We need a story, Kieran. Homeless family, murder, only knowin’ each other a few days is not a good story,” she says pointedly.
“They’ll know the kids aren’t mine. I can’t run that story past them. I’ll have to tell them a close version of the truth. Tell ’em we met through Ian and can’t live without each other. Let them fill in the holes on their own.”
“They’ll think I’m a whore and a gold digger,” she whispers.
“Don’t,” I growl fiercely, making Ash jump. “Don’t fuckin’ say shit like that…ever.”
“What else are they gonna think? I saw the look on your dad’s face. He thinks I’m runnin’ a con and usin’ my kids as bait.”
“Okay so we tell ’em Ash is mine. I fucked up and was a dick like usual. You’re givin’ me a second chance.”
“I can’t do that to Jack. If you claim Ashling, he’s left out. That’s cruel for no reason,” she grumbles.
“Quinn, I’m tryin’ here. I don’t wanna do anything that’ll upset anyone. If I could convince ’em they’re both mine I would. As far as I’m concerned they are mine. That’s all that matters.”
“They’re not yours, Kieran. This isn’t gonna work. I appreciate what you’re tryin’ to do, but this lie is too much to pull off. The people you’re scarin’ off are gonna find out sooner or later. I need to get the kids outta here before it causes you any more trouble.” She’s panicking and it’s pissing me off. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths before I say or do something stupid.
Quinn hops up off the couch and busies herself in the kitchen. Once Ash is done with her bottle and back to sleep, I lay her on the couch and run down into the basement. I grab the bassinet and a baby monitor. I quickly set everything up in the guest room and carry Ash back. Once she’s settled and the monitor is on, I close the door quietly. I peek in at Jack who has ten puzzles put together on the floor before heading back to the kitchen.
“Whatever your brain is tellin’ you…stop it,” I command coming up behind her while she washes already clean dishes. I wrap my arms around her tiny waist and constrict.
“It’s tellin’ me to run. That it’s safer for all of us,” she says dejectedly.
“Well your brain is fuckin’ wrong. You runnin’ with two kids is not safer than meetin’ my parents. My parents aren’t gonna have a problem with you or the kids. If you want me to tell them both of the kids are mine, I’ll do it. I’ll own the lie. Whatever makes you happy. No one in the street is gonna think it’s a lie. I have a pretty foul reputation with women.”
Quinn spins in my arms and glares at me.
“Told you I’m an asshole, Shorty. I’ve never had a real relationship other than a few steady fucks. That’s the cold hard truth. People out there know that, too. So if I say I’ve got a woman and two kids, it’ll be a shock, but one they’ll pay attention to. I’d never claim somethin’ that wasn’t mine.”
“Funny, ’cause that’s what you’re doin’,” she scoffs.
“I’m tryin’ to be nice, but you’re makin’ it really fuckin’ hard,” I growl, leaning into her face. “You’re mine. They are mine. Say somethin’ different again and we’re gonna have fuckin’ problems. Tell me you understand.”
“I understand,” Quinn whispers.
“Good.”
I press a hard kiss to her lips and let her go. She releases her knife behind her back and turns back to the sink. I definitely make her feel stabby.
“Connor texted and Ian’s gonna be in the hospital until tomorrow. I know you wanna see him, but I think it’s better to hold off until he’s outta there.” I change the subject and let my anger roll off my shoulders.
“Is he okay?”
“Just banged up. Nothin’ that old man can’t handle. Connor says he’s pissed and barkin’ at the nurses every chance he gets.” I chuckle at the thought of Ian with his perma-scowl growling at nurses.
Quinn snorts but doesn’t comment.
Buzz, buzz.
“Yeah,” I bark into the phone.
“Kieran, you could use some manners when your mother calls,” Clare Delaney chastises me.
“Sorry, Ma.”
“Your father says you’ll be here at six.”
“That’s the plan,” I grumble.
“I just wanted to be sure. Well, I have dinner to prepare. I’ll see you tonight. Love you,” she hums.
“Love you too.”
I hang up and glance at Quinn who’s starting to make sandwiches for lunch.
“Told you she fusses over me. Just makin’ sure we’re still comin’,” I explain.
Quinn offers me a sweet smile and focuses on the turkey in front of her.
“Daddy, you wanna build Legos with me?” Jack calls from his room.
“You bet,” I yell back. I place a soft kiss on Quinn’s neck and go build the biggest Lego tower known to man.
Quinn
Pale yellow thin sweater, tight (due to my recent weight gain) dark jeans and a pair of white canvas sneakers Ian bought me. This is what I’m wearing to meet Kieran’s parents. I have no idea if I look appropriate or if I look like I’m trying too hard. I’ve never met anyone’s parents.
I had a boyfriend from the time I was fifteen until I left. I’d known him and his family my whole life so I didn’t have to meet his parents. I didn’t have to try with them. This is different.
I’m leaving my knives in the car tonight. I don’t think I should be armed to meet parents. Probably sends the wrong signals.
Kieran knocks on the guest bathroom door for the fifth time.
“My mom’s gonna have a cow if we’re late, Quinn. Let’s move,” he grumbles.
I wish I had some make-up. I could hide behind some eye shadow and foundation. I could make myself look my age instead of like a teenager. No such luck. I take a deep breath and leave the bathroom.
Kieran’s walking out the backdoor holding Jack’s hand and carrying Ash in her car seat with the diaper bag over his shoulder. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Kieran’s wearing dark loose jeans, a navy long sleeved T-shirt, brown leather boots and his leather coat. On his own, he’d look badass. Toting kids and a diaper bag, he looks like a DILF. I giggle to myself and follow them out of the house.
I lean in the backseat of the SUV and hook Jack in his car seat while Kieran loads Ash in on the other side. Kieran bought the most expensive car seats he could find during the weeks we were apart. They’ve been set up in his SUV just waiting for us, according to him. I smile as I climb in the passenger’s seat.
“You look gorgeous,” Kieran breathes in a lust-filled voice.
“Sorry it took so long,” I apologize, ignoring his compliment.
Kieran eases out of the garage and drives us to his parents’. It’s less than a mile away so it’s a quick ride. We could walk it with ease. If I didn’t drag my feet so long this afternoon we could have walked this evening. Next time…if there’s a next time.
I’ve been warring with myself all day. Everything in me is
telling me to run for the hills. I’m scared. I don’t know how to do the happy family thing. People are going to start asking questions about me and the kids eventually and I don’t have the answers yet. I don’t know if I ever will. I’ve gotten by so far by letting people come to their own conclusions.
I’ve gone from invisible to highly visible in a few short hours and it’s freaking me out. No one knows my name and I’ve been gone long enough that the people looking for me won’t be looking for a Quinn. But they will find me at some point. I need to trust Kieran when he says he’ll keep us safe. I know he’ll try his best. I don’t know if his best will make a difference when they come for me.
I slide my knives under my seat and climb out. The Delaney house is red bricked with flower beds on the sides of the path leading to the front door. The front door bursts open when we hit the bottom stair leading to the porch. A slight woman with her deep chocolate hair up in a messy bun, wearing a pale blue sweater and a pair of chinos covered with an apron fills the doorway.
“Get those kids in here outta the cold,” she orders quickly.
Kieran pushes me ahead of him and I slide past her with Jack on my hip. The family room I’m in is warm and inviting with walls covered in knick-knacks and pictures. There’s a small fireplace roaring at the far end with two couches on either side. The house smells like food and hickory. A small smile ghosts my lips.
“Your dad’s downstairs catchin’ the last of the game,” she says to Kieran before shutting the door.
“I’m Clare,” she says softly, extending her hand to me.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Quinn and this is Jack and Ashling,” I respond kindly.
“Well, let’s get you all outta your coats and fill your bellies,” she says with a smile.
I set Jack down, crouching before him, and unzip his coat before pulling mine off. Kieran takes them from me. I shift over and take Ash out of her car seat, removing her from her fleece cover-up. She snuggles into my chest and Jack climbs onto my side as I stand up.
Kieran reaches to take one of the kids, but I move out of his reach. Jack’s nervous and so am I. We feel better when we’re together in each other’s arms. I follow Clare into an open kitchen dining area that’s light and inviting with white cabinets and butcher block counters.
“I hope you’re hungry,” she calls from the stove where she resumes whatever she was doing before we got here. I walk up to the breakfast bar and Kieran pulls out a wooden stool for me. With a large heave I get myself in the seat and settle Jack on my lap.
“You know I’m always hungry, Ma,” Kieran responds, pressing a kiss into my hair before sitting on the stool next to me.
“Jack, I’m makin’ a special dessert for you. I’m meltin’ some chocolate—you think you could help me out? Maybe taste it to make sure I got it right,” Clare’s tone is warm and inviting.
Jack’s head pops up off my shoulder and glances over to Clare. She smiles at him, then returns to stirring her pot. Jack looks up at me and I offer him an encouraging smile. He grins, slides off my lap and walks over to Clare’s side.
Clare reaches down to Jack, picking him up under his arms and plops him on the counter next to the stove. He watches everything she does with a gleam of curiosity covering his soft features.
“All right, Jack. Tell me what you think?” she asks in dramatic fashion. She spoons a small bite of the concoction she’s making into his wide open mouth.
“Mmmmm, that’s yummy!” Jack exclaims, running his tongue over his lips searching for more.
“It’s my favorite, too,” Kieran’s father bellows from behind them. He darts around the other side of Clare, sticking his finger in the pot, then brings it to his lips dramatically. Clare swats him with a wooden spoon as he smiles mischievously at Jack. Jack snickers and looks up at Clare with puppy dog eyes and she quickly complies with another spoonful in his mouth.
“All right now, you two. I’ll finish this up and we can start on dinner,” Clare says, popping Jack back down on the floor. Jack looks around the kitchen a bit and then climbs into Kieran’s lap. Kieran swipes his thumb at the corner of Jack’s mouth, removing chocolate, and then licks his thumb clean. Jack crinkles his nose and giggles.
“I’m Rick,” he states, reaching his hand across the breakfast bar toward me. I take his hand in mine briefly.
“I’m Quinn and this is Ashling. You’ve met Jack.”
“You are some kinda pretty, young lady,” he says with a whistle. My cheeks flare at the compliment. I give him a sheepish smile before looking to Kieran for a little help. He simply beams at me.
“Ten more minutes and everything’ll be ready. Quinn, can you and the kids come downstairs for a minute? I wanna show you something,” Clare says as she removes her apron and messes with the oven.
“Sure,” I reply nervously. Jack climbs out of Kieran’s lap as we follow Clare down to the finished basement. We walk through a large open rec room and then into another large open room filled with clothes, fabric, sewing machines and other things meant for creating clothes.
Clare moves over to a table and picks up a few things before coming back over to us.
“Now, I had to guess based on what Rick told me, but I think these should work,” she says, crouching down in front of Jack. She holds a bright blue canvas jacket up to him, checking the size against his chest. It’s gorgeous and makes his eyes even more impressive. She slides it over his shoulders and smoothes it down the front with her hands.
“Perfect! What do you think?” She looks up at me.
“It’s really beautiful, Clare. Thank you.”
“Cool,” Jack offers. “I’m gonna go show Daddy.” He takes off up the stairs. Clare freezes for a moment then schools her features before standing and holding out a small white dress with pink accents.
“She’s probably a little small for it yet, but she’ll grow into it,” she says with tears in the back of her hazel eyes.
“It’s really amazing. I can’t believe you do all this,” I say in awe of the things around the room.
“I learned to sew when I was a little girl. Makes me happy to create something with my hands. What do you do?”
And the questions with no answers begin. I figure I’ll tell as much of the truth as I can and then wing it.
“I’m home with the kids for right now.” It’s true.
“It’s nice to have that time when they’re little,” she coos, running her hand over Ash’s head.
“How did you and Kieran meet?”
“Through Ian Brogan.”
“Ian’s a good man. How do you know him?”
“He’s a friend of the family.” And so the lies begin.
“Are you close with your family?” she asks with a little hope in her voice.
“I’m not. I haven’t seen them in a really long time, actually. Been on my own since I was seventeen.” The truth is just easier right now.
“Well, you’ve got great kids so you must be doin’ all right,” she says with a genuine smile on her lips. “Let’s get upstairs and eat some dinner.”
I nod and follow her back up the stairs. Kieran and Rick are sitting at the table while Jack regales them with a story from one of the comic books Kieran got him. Jack can’t read yet, but when I read to him he absorbs every word.
“You think I could read one of those comic books with you some day?” Rick asks as we join the merriment.
“Sure. My mommy reads ’em the best, though. She does all the voices and sounds.”
“It’s quite entertaining,” Kieran teases. I roll my eyes and lean into his side. He kisses my hair and his mother wipes a quick tear from her cheek.
“All right. Dinner’s ready. Let’s sit down at the table. Quinn, honey, do you wanna lay Ashling down?”
“I’ll hold her. Thanks, though.”
We all sit at the table and eat a glorious shepherd’s pie with homemade bread. Most of the conversation is led by Jack and his stories. We laugh and smile while we
eat like a normal family. It’s a comfort I’ve missed. I didn’t realize until this moment how alone I’ve been in this world for the last eight years. As emotion clogs my throat, I fuss at the baby until she wakes up. Not the nicest thing to do, but it gives me a distraction. I hop up from the table and head into the living room to change her and get a bottle ready.
Laying her down on the floor, I gaze around at the walls filled with love and memories. Pictures from trips and family holidays decorate the walls and tables. There are a few with Collin (hot cop cousin) and, I’m guessing, his brothers because they all look the same. Kieran grew up in the same world as me with crime a part of his every day, yet he had something I didn’t. He trusts the people he comes from. His family is built on loyalty, dílseacht. Mine was built on lies and deceit.
When I’m done changing Ash I gather her up and peruse the pictures more closely, getting glimpses of Kieran as a boy. I can see the hard edge that he has now developed over time. It wasn’t always there on his face. It came during his teenage years, probably when his father was in prison. I turn to the last wall of photos which are older and mostly of Rick and Clare when they were young and first together. They look so happy and full of life. Then I see a familiar pair of eyes looking back at me in a picture tucked a little behind a few others.
With shaky fingers I lift the frame. My father and Rick are standing next to each other, each with an arm around the other’s shoulder, smiling at the camera. They were young, in their early twenties. They look like they don’t have a care in the world.
I reach a finger out and trace my father’s smiling face. I don’t know if I ever saw him that happy in all my years with him. I’ll never see him that happy now. I close my eyes and try to commit his features to memory. Having this vision of him in my mind is better than any that I currently have to look back on.
I gently return the frame to the shelf and go back to the kitchen. I have to be careful with anything I say to Kieran’s parents now. If they knew my father they’ll put the details together quite easily.
Clare helps me warm the bottle and I retake my seat at Kieran’s side as everyone eats dessert. I feel sick to my stomach at this point so I politely decline, focusing all of my attention on Ashling and Jack.
Shrouded in Blackness Page 12