I nibble her neck up her jaw to her mouth. Kissing her with the passion of the love we’re making, I cup her cheeks in my hands and pound into her. As her legs quake and her breath hitches, I pull back to watch her face beam in pleasure as she gasps my name.
A few more thrusts and I come so hard my balls ache and my entire body tremors. I slow my strokes bringing both of us back to reality, panting heavy breaths against each other’s skin until I collapse on top of her.
Quinn keeps her arms and legs wrapped around me tightly as I nuzzle into her neck, licking a bead of sweat from her milk and honey skin.
As my come starts to leak out of her I have the strange desire to scoop it back in. I want every bit of me inside her, marking what’s mine. What has only ever been mine. What will only ever be mine.
“I’m so sorry, Kieran,” she sobs and a violent tremor erupts down her body pushing my dick from within her.
I roll to my side and pull her into me as the tears pour down her face. The emotion wracking her body causes me pain. She’s carried this load for months on her own and now that she can share it she’s overwhelmed. I shush her and kiss her hair, stroking her naked back.
Once her crying subsides I tip her face up with one finger under her chin.
“I love you, Quinn.”
“I love you so much, Kieran.”
She surges forward, smashing her lips to mine, almost choking me with her tiny arms around my neck. We languidly tangle our tongues while our hands explore each other’s skin. As my dick gets hard again, Quinn reaches around it stroking me slowly from base to tip, squeezing and relaxing. For a virgin she gives a mean hand job.
She lifts her leg over my hip and guides my tip inside her. She’s still coated in my come, but tight and swollen from our recent sex. I move to pull away from her when she forces her pussy over me, shuddering through the pain.
“Quinn, it’s too soon. You need to heal first,” I murmur against her lips as she rocks her hips slightly.
“I want you inside me again.”
I’m not one to argue, so I roll her beneath me and make slow, sweet love to the woman that’s captured my heart until I come inside her again as I call out her name, worshipping the Irish goddess surrounding my body.
Quinn
I’m not a virgin anymore. Twenty-six years of waiting, guarding my body against the filth in the streets, and now I’ve given it to the first man I’ve ever loved. I feel so many emotions I don’t know where to begin sorting them out in my head. Kieran climbed out of bed a few minutes ago, dragging me with him to the shower.
He gently washed and caressed me while kissing and holding me. He takes care of me, not because I need it, because he wants to. There’s a need within him to make sure I’m happy. And he makes me so happy I can’t begin to describe it. Kieran’s a criminal, a murderer, a fighter and probably a bad guy to the outside world. But with me and the kids, he’s a loving father, protector, partner and savior. He’s everything I could have wanted in my life and more. It scares the shit out of me.
After changing the sheets, Kieran pulls me into bed, arranging me against his side with my head resting on his dílseacht tattoo. I lazily trace the patterns that cover his chest and six pack, marveling at his body’s strength.
“No more guest room,” he murmurs into my hair. I nod and keep tracing. “Still wanna go out?”
“No,” I whisper. I didn’t want to go out in the first place, but now I’m tired and sore. I’d rather stay in, make fudge with Clare and watch movies with Jack. I’m a super cool person.
“You feelin’ okay?” he asks, quietly tipping my head back with his fingers beneath my chin. His murky blues are sated and calm in a way I’ve never seen them look before. Kieran Delaney looks peaceful.
“I’m okay,” I say through a small smile.
“You sore?”
“A little.”
“Liar.”
I am a liar. In so many ways that when he says it, guilt washes over me. He must see it in my eyes because his peaceful face turns into a scowl.
“Don’t. Don’t you fuckin’ dare, Quinn,” he growls, draggin my naked body beneath his, forcing me to look into his face with nowhere to run and hide.
“I’m sorry.” The words barely make it past the lump in my throat.
“Me too,” he says softly, causing my brow to furrow.
“Why are you sorry? I’m the one that lied.”
“I should have known. It was obvious you hadn’t just given birth. I wasn’t payin’ attention. Ian knows, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I should’ve known. I could tell he was shocked. I thought it was because you were finally lettin’ him help you out. It was because you showed up with two kids. I’m an idiot. And then with the Russian. You didn’t know who he was because you weren’t around when he tortured Jack. Fuck, I thought…I don’t know what I thought. I wasn’t payin’ attention.”
“Are you serious right now? You’re blamin’ yourself for not knowin’ a stranger was lyin’ to you? Thank you for tryin’ to make me feel better, but this is my fault. I’ve had months to tell you the truth, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to say the words because the kids…they’re mine. They even look like me. I know it sounds crazy, but it feels like they were supposed to be my kids all along.”
“I do blame myself. It’s my job to read situations, to know what’s goin’ on around me. I fucked up. But Quinn, I don’t give a shit. I don’t care how you got the kids. They’re yours. Whatever the reason, those are your babies.”
“They’re yours too, Kieran. You’ve been in their lives the same amount of time I’ve been,” I say confidently, wanting him to know how much that means to me…to all of us.
“Yeah,” he breathes out, rolling off me. He lays his head on my chest and lightly trails his rough hand across the flat of my stomach. “Speakin’ of kids…we didn’t use a condom.”
My entire body goes rigid. I’m obviously aware that he didn’t use a condom. I figured if he was willing to do that he knew he was clean because he wouldn’t put me in danger. I’m clean for apparent reasons. To be honest, I don’t care if I get pregnant. I’ve already got two kids, having another doesn’t bother me, but Kieran sounds worried. Maybe another kid is too much for him. Shit!
I move from beneath him, scooting off the edge of the bed. I grab my discarded clothes pulling them on quickly.
“Quinn,” Kieran warns. “What’re you doin’?”
“I’m gonna head out and get a morning after pill. I should’ve thought about it. Sorry,” I grunt, pulling my Bears T-shirt over my head. Before it clears my face, I’m yanked hard back onto the bed, causing me to yelp.
“You’re what?” Kieran growls, pulling the shirt off my face, balling it up and throwing it with force across the room.
“Don’t worry. I’ll fix it. I’d rather do the morning after pill instead of an abortion.”
Kieran’s face twists in rage, causing me to back away from him until my back slams into the headboard. He follows my movement, bringing his face inches from mine.
“That is the cruelest, most fucked up thing you’ve ever said to me,” he whispers in a menacing tone, glowering at me.
“You sounded worried. I’m tryin’ to fix it,” I explain in a whimper. I don’t know what I’ve done, but he’s furious with me.
“I’m not worried. I was just talkin’. It’s what adults do,” he chastises me.
“So now I’m not an adult?” I take offense.
“That’s not what I said.”
“It’s what you fuckin’ alluded.” I cross my arms across my chest and close my eyes. I can’t look at his face when he’s angry at me. He can cut straight to the quick with his eyes and his words.
“Open your eyes, Quinn,” he commands in a throaty growl. I don’t comply.
“I wasn’t tryin’ to hurt you,” I whisper.
“Am I so horrible that you’d rather have someone else’s kids instead of mine?”
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My eyes fly open.
“What?!”
“You’re willin’ to take on two children that aren’t yours, but you’re runnin’ outta my bed to end any possibility we may have just created one of our own. You explain that shit to me.”
He starts to move away from me so I grab the sides of his face, pulling his forehead to mine.
“I thought it’s what you wanted. You sounded worried. I don’t care if I’m pregnant. I’d be happy if I was. It’s early in our relationship, but we haven’t done this the normal way. I’m not worried about carryin’ your baby. I’m concerned about you.”
“I wasn’t worried. I’ve had a fucked up life full of mostly shit. I’m not complainin’ about the life I’ve led because, as far as I’m concerned, it’s been a good life, but it hasn’t had much good in it. I’ve got the people I’m loyal to and that’s it. I’m not gettin’ any younger, Quinn. I’ll be thirty-five in a few weeks. I want a family. Shit I have a fuckin’ family and I want more…with you. Don’t ever question that.” His rage is gone and the soft, sweet Kieran is back.
“So what you do want me to do?”
“Lay here in my arms. Let me take care of you. Let me figure things out for us. Let me be what you need in life. Let me put a baby in your belly. Let me give you a few more after that. Let me grow old with you. Just let me.”
“Okay.”
Kieran presses a tender kiss to my lips before laying us down in the bed. He strips me out of my clothes and pulls me against his chest again with my head covering his dílseacht tattoo. Let him, just let him. I haven’t let anyone do as much for me as Kieran already has. I’m ready for someone else to carry the burden alongside me, a partner. Kieran’s not so much a partner, more a leader. He wants me to relinquish some of myself to him…let him. I don’t know if I can do it the way he wants, but I’m willing to try.
“Love you,” I whisper.
“I love you, Quinn.”
Before we can drift off to sleep, there’s a crisp knock at the door.
“Kieran, get your ass out here quick!” Rick bellows through the door.
I know that tone. Something’s wrong, bad wrong.
We both leap from the bed, dressing quickly before racing from the room. In the living room there are two uniformed cops and a woman looking professional yet sloppy with a bad haircut that makes her mousy brown hair look like a helmet, an ill-fitting navy pantsuit that doesn’t close around her wide middle and a worn black leather briefcase clutched in her hand.
“Kieran Delaney?” the woman asks.
“You are?” he responds harshly.
“My name is Bridget Foley. I’m a social worker with the Department of Children and Family Services. I have a court order to remove the two minor children, Jack and Ashling O’Boyle, from the premises.”
“No!” I scream moving to run to my kids. Kieran sweeps an arm around my shoulders, pinning my back to his front. This can’t be happening. How the fuck did my uncles do this?
“Declan O’Boyle has only just learned of his childrens’ existence and wishes for them to be reunited quickly. I’m here to facilitate that transition. If you could, gather up a few of their belongings. It helps for children to have some items they’re familiar with.”
Rick is off in the kitchen speaking in hushed tones into his cell phone holding an official-looking document. The kids must still be in the basement with Clare. I can’t get them out of the house unseen. I don’t know what to do. I look up at Kieran with tears streaming down my cheeks, begging him with my eyes to make this stop. But I can see in his face he can’t fix this. He doesn’t have the power to stop two cops and a DCFS social worker.
A sob breaks from my chest. Kieran tightens his hold around me as my legs begin to give out. How do I do this? How the hell do I do this?! I can’t. I can’t give my children away. This can’t be happening. Please, this can’t be happening. I thrash my head side to side hoping it will wake me up from this nightmare. But I don’t wake up.
I stay in this nightmare, trapped with no hope of breaking free. The light and love Jack and Ashling have brought to my life is stripped away, only to leave my soul shrouded in blackness.
Kieran
“Shannon Kelly’s office,” Karl answers in his eternally kind voice. Karl is Shannon’s assistant and best friend. I’ve only met him a handful of times, but every time I’ve liked the dude more and more. I hope like hell he likes me.
“Karl, it’s Kieran,” my voice rasps with emotion.
“Kieran, what’s wrong? Do you need me to get Brian?” His voice is full of alert.
“I was kinda hopin’ you could help me out.”
“Of course, whatever you need,” he says emphatically.
“Has Shannon filled you in on my situation?”
“Yeah. I mean I think she has. Is something wrong with Quinn? I can’t get Shannon for a few hours. She’s in court. I could try to go and grab her in between hearings.”
“I don’t wanna bother Shannon or my cousin. They’ve got enough goin’ on. I need some fuckin’ help, though. Quinn’s kids were taken by DCFS yesterday,” I groan, slamming my head back on the couch. Quinn’s in bed where she’s been since the kids were taken. She hasn’t eaten, she hasn’t slept, she hasn’t moved. There’s a veil of blackness around her that I can’t see through.
“On what grounds?” Karl moves into professional mode quickly.
“On the grounds they’re not hers. Her uncle, Declan O’Boyle, had paternity tests run on the kids and the courts say they’re his. Him and his brother run a fuckin’ crime syndicate here in Chicago. I can go in, guns blazin’, and pull the kids out, but I’d have to run for the rest of their lives to keep ’em safe. You got anything for me?”
“How’d they get DNA samples from the kids?”
“They raided a gym last month that Quinn and I work at, guessin’ it was then. We were in another room when their crew stormed in. Her other uncle, Connall O’Boyle, was holdin’ Jack when we found ’em. Don’t know how they got Ashling’s.”
“I suppose Declan is claiming he had no knowledge of the children prior to this?”
“Yeah.”
“The biological mother?”
“Dead. Don’t know much else about her.”
“If we can prove Declan knew about the children prior to this, we could make a claim that he abandoned them. Abandonment is grounds for parental rights to be terminated. I can do some research, see what I can find. We’ll have to get Shannon involved with this. She’ll kick my ass if I don’t. You may be willin’ to take on the wrath of Shannon Kelly, but I prefer to stay on the good side of her gun.”
“She’s got her own shit to worry about with her man and his kid. She doesn’t need my shit on top of it,” I state emphatically. I don’t want to cause her any trouble.
“Kieran,” Karl admonishes. “You know her. It doesn’t matter what’s goin’ on, you’re her family. She’ll wanna know. She can help you better than anyone. Shannon’s as good in a courtroom as she is behind her gun. Let me talk to her.”
“Just figure something out for me first and then I’ll tell Shannon.”
“I’ll get on it. I’ve got a couple friends at our Chicago firm that can dig around for me. I’m really sorry, Kieran,” his voice drops in a sad tone as he finishes.
“Thanks for the help, Karl. I owe you. Anything you ever need.”
“You’re Shannon’s family. Makes you my family, too.”
“Thanks, man.”
“No problem. I’ll call you later when I know something.”
We hang up and I throw my phone into the side of the couch. Of all the things I could be doing right now, calling Shannon’s assistant is my least likely choice, but it’s a smart move. I don’t want to burden Shannon with this, but she’s a family attorney. If anyone could get the kids back to us legally, it’s her. Karl’s the next best thing.
I’m meeting with the O’Boyle Brothers in two hours. I’ve got their money ready
to move. If this was their play to get it back, it’s fucking working. The hacker kid has everything set up to move the money from the offshore bank into various fake charities he’s set up. He assures me it’s the best way to move the money and keep Quinn’s name off everything. Anonymous donations are a good way to avoid federal scrutiny.
I walk into our bedroom and I’m shocked to see Quinn out of bed pulling her jacket over her shoulders. She’s wearing her green cargo pants, a white T-shirt and her black biker boots. Shit.
“Quinn,” I say in a warning.
“I’m gettin’ my kids. I can’t fuckin’ lay here and wait another second. I don’t care what they want from me. I want my kids back now!” she yells.
“I have a meet with them in two hours. They’ll get their money back and give me the kids. This was just a ploy to force our hand. You can’t go in there alone with nothing to trade.”
“They’re gonna kill you, Kieran. They didn’t do this for money. They did this for me. My uncles want me back for the street cred. They look bad now with me out here with you. It makes them look weak. I’ll trade myself for the kids and you’ll keep them safe until I can get away.”
“No fuckin’ way! You’re truly insane if you think I’d allow you to do that,” I growl, taking two steps until I’m right in her face.
“I can protect myself. The kids can’t. You can be pissed at me all you want, but you know I’m right. I’m goin’ for my kids and you’re gonna let me,” she seethes. “If you love me at all you’ll let me do this. I can’t live without them, Kieran. If you keep me from them you might as well put a bullet in my head.”
“Quinn, please. Let’s talk this through,” I plead. I fucking plead like a little bitch because I can see she’s already made her mind up. She’s doing this with or without my consent.
I grab her face and crush my mouth onto her soft sweet lips. Quinn pulls me into her, fisting my shirt roughly. I tangle our tongues, tasting every surface of her mouth and lips, drinking her in, knowing this could be the last time. If things go south her uncles will kill her. She pulls away and looks up at me with her piercing blue eyes.
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