Her emotionally devoid eyes scan my body and my injuries, wincing a little as she takes it all in. Once she completes her inspection, her face goes blank again.
“You’ve got some fuckin’ nerve showin’ up here,” Owen chokes out since his brother has his forearm to his throat.
“Never been one to back down from a fight,” I quip, never leaving Quinn’s crystal blue eyes.
“It’s your funeral,” he growls, throwing Connor off him.
“Don’t!” Quinn screams, halting Owen’s progress toward me.
“Owen, please don’t,” she whispers, climbing to her feet. She looks right through me like I’m not in the room, coming to a stop in front of Owen, whose upper body is heaving through his panting. She puts her two tiny hands on his chest and I feel a fight building in me. An irrational, psychotic fight because she’s touching Owen. Alex must have done a number on me.
Owen wraps his massive arms around her small body, pulling her protectively into his chest.
“Sorry,” he murmurs into her hair as she nods. “Wanna get outta here?”
“Yeah,” she mumbles into his chest.
I feel like I’m in the fucking Twilight Zone. I’m watching the woman I love seek comfort in another man’s arms and just standing here like a bump on a log. He unfolds her from his chest but maintains a proprietary arm around her shoulders.
“I’ll come by tomorrow and we can go for coffee,” she says sweetly to Sofia.
“Thanks for everything, Quinn. You too, Owen,” she has a slight flush as his name flows from her lips. She’s a pretty girl, not gorgeous or beautiful, but pretty. I don’t really care; it’s just an observation.
Quinn turns to face Alex who’s wrapped his sister in his arms, relief soothing his battered face.
“Alex, I’d like to talk to you about my son if you have the chance in the next few days.”
“Sure,” he says with a tight smile.
“Bye, Connor,” she says through a sad smile.
Then she walks to me, stopping flush with my side so she doesn’t have to look at me.
“I’m glad you won your fight. The Russians were tryin’ to unman you in front of your crew to make it easier to take you out and maintain control of your territory. I’m sure you know this already, but I wanted you to tell you myself that I understand why you fought. Not just about Jack, but about business, too. I’m goin’ to your parents’. You can come and see the kids whenever you want. Just call ahead so I have some warning. Goodbye, Kieran,” she says with strength and conviction. Then she’s gone without as much as a glance in my direction.
“Daddy!” Jack squeals as he launches himself into my arms.
I crush him to my chest, grimacing in pain as my broken ribs get caved in under the pressure. I only squeeze him tighter.
“Your booboos look better.”
“They feel better, too,” I murmur into his soft black waves. “What’s Ash doin’?”
“She’s rollin’ around in the livin’ room. She thinks it’s the best thing ever!”
“Let’s go watch her for a bit,” I say, carrying him into my parents’ house.
Sure as shit, Ashling’s rolling around on the floor giggling and spitting with glee. My parents are sitting on the floor with her, laughing at the show she’s putting on. Quinn’s nowhere in sight. That’s because she leaves when I visit. It’s been five weeks since she left me and I haven’t seen her once. I’ve heard her voice in the background a few times when I’m on the phone with Jack. Once, I heard her full belly laugh and I almost lost it. The only thing getting me through any of this is my kids.
Quinn’s been true to her word. She lets me see them whenever I ask, and I ask every day. I call one of my parents to ask because she still won’t speak to me, but the answer is always yes. I haven’t gone more than twenty-four hours without seeing them. It’s not the same as having them in my house. It’s a sad, lonely, distant second to them being with me all the time.
The war with the Russians is slowing down. Mainly because we’ve killed enough of them off that they don’t have the strength to come at us as hard as they were. Having Alex with us is a big help. He’s a bevy of inside information that we’ve used tirelessly to beat the Russians before they see us coming. At this point, my territory’s safe and my life is a fucking mess.
The front door opens behind my back and I hear the sound my ears have been fantasizing about for weeks, Quinn’s giggle.
“Mommy!” Jack exclaims, rushing to her.
I look up from Ashling’s spot on the floor and lock my gaze with hers. She’s shocked as shit to see me. Horrified is probably a better term. I had The Crew drop me off while I have some work done on the Camaro, so my car wasn’t outside to stop her.
“Hey, Mike,” Jack says, breaking the stare down between Quinn and myself.
Standing behind her is a man. A man. That’s all my brain can process.
“Hey, Jack,” Mike responds cheerfully. I hate him.
Quinn sets Jack down and Mike high-fives him, leaning over her shoulder to reach him. As his front presses against her back, all I see is red…blinding, raging fury choking out all reason in my brain.
Just as I’m about to do something monumentally stupid, Ash rolls into my thigh, simmering me down immediately. I pick her up and blow raspberries into her chubby neck while she squeals and laughs. The best distraction in the fucking world!
“Mommy, you wanna watch a movie with us?” Jack asks, moving back into the living room.
“I’d love to, Baby, but I’m goin’ out tonight, remember?” Quinn answers softly.
“Oh yeah,” Jack says with a shrug. He’s not bothered that she’s going out with Mike, meaning she must go out with Mike often enough for it to be normal for him. The rage monster is building again.
“I just came back to get ready,” Quinn says apologetically to the room. “We’ll be in my room if you need me.”
Quinn moves through the room silently with Mike’s hand pressed in the small of her back. When she’s safely down the hall and out of earshot, I pin my father with a gaze that could set his hair on fire. It’s time to talk. Now.
“Jack, why don’t you go downstairs with Grandma and Ash? I need to talk to Grandpa about some boring grownup stuff. We’ll be down when we’re done, okay?” I talk in the most normal voice I can muster.
“Don’t forget the popcorn,” Jack says, bounding toward the stairs. “And don’t eat it all before you come downstairs, Grandpa.”
“You think I’d steal your popcorn?” my dad feigns shock.
“You ate the whole bowl last time and it gave you the farts. Grandma made you sleep on the couch,” Jack says pointedly, causing the room to erupt in boisterous laughter.
When my mother stops heaving with amusement, she leads Jack down the stairs, carrying Ashling on her hip. I wind up to go at it with my father when I hear the basement door close, but he shuts me down.
“Outside,” he instructs in a parental tone I haven’t heard since I was ten.
Once we’re on the back deck with the door tightly closed, I hit him where it hurts.
“You’re my father. How could you not fuckin’ tell me she’s seein’ somebody else?”
“I may be your father, but I’m also a grandparent now. You’re a grown man, Kieran. It’s not my job to manage your love life, a love life you fucked up all on your own.”
“Apparently, I’ve fucked it up more than I know since she’s seein’ that prick,” I scoff.
“What do you expect her to do? Sit here alone and wait for you to pull your fuckin’ head outta your ass and fight for her? Quinn’s a young, beautiful woman, men are gonna be circling her until she’s unavailable. Shit, even then they’ll still sniff around.”
“She’s made it clear she doesn’t want me around her. How am I supposed to fight for her without breakin’ the boundaries she put up?” I huff, flopping into a lounger.
“I don’t know, son. But if you don’t figure out somet
hin’ soon, she won’t be around to fight for anymore. She’s lookin’ at places for her and the kids to move into. They went lookin’ in the ’burbs last weekend.”
“Who’s ‘they’?” I ask, not wanting to know the answer.
“Her and Mike. He’s a real estate agent,” he says softly before flopping into the lounger next to me. We both pull out our cigarettes and light up together. My habit has kicked into high gear since Quinn left. I’m also back to drinking whiskey like prohibition is threatening to take it from me.
“They look pretty cozy for a real estate agent and a client,” I snark.
“I’m not gonna talk to you about her relationships. She trusts your mother and me. I won’t fuck that up. You want answers about Quinn’s life, you ask her. And don’t you dare try gettin’ information outta Jack. He’s not a pawn,” he finishes pointedly, pointing his cigarette at my chest like it’s a weapon.
“I would never do that,” I growl at the insinuation.
“Heard she’s teachin’ self-defense classes at Brogan’s.” Change of subject, much?
“She’s still runnin’ the books for both of us. She asked Ian about startin’ the class a few weeks ago. Her and Owen teach together on Saturdays. First two have been so packed they’re gonna add another time slot,” I say with pride.
Quinn’s finding her way in life. She’s still sticking close to the gym, The Crew and my family, but she’s branching out on her own. I love that and hate it equally. I can see now that isolating her was doing her a great injustice. I should have encouraged her to find her place in life. Her working at Brogan’s is perfect because she’s close and protected, yet doing her own thing.
I hate it because she’s doing it without me. I’m not involved with anything. She’s running my books, but the only proof of that is her handwriting coming back to me when she’s done with things. Other than that, there’s no interaction. Yeah, I fucking hate it.
There’s a light tap on the glass sliding door behind me. I turn simultaneously with my father to see Quinn standing at the door looking…un-fucking-believable.
She’s got on a dress. I’m a dude so work with me here. It looks like she stretched out a tank-top and made it into a dress, I should say. It clings to her body like a second skin with a deep neckline showing off a good bit of cleavage. It’s a pale blue color, making her eyes pop against her porcelain ivory skin. She has on the perfect amount of make-up and her hair up in some sleek wrapped-up way. My dick is rock hard. I’m guessing Mike’s is too based on his gaze being firmly placed on her ass.
She slides the door open just a crack.
“We’re headin’ out to dinner. I don’t know what time we’ll get back. I’ll text when I’m on my way,” Quinn says, looking directly at my father.
“Have a good night, sweetheart,” he replies in the softest voice I’ve ever heard the man speak in.
“You too, Rick.”
She slides the door shut and glides into Mike’s side who wraps his arm around her shoulders, leading her away. Away from me.
Quinn
“You all right?” Mike murmurs into my hair before he puts me in his Mercedes.
“I’m fine,” I lie.
Damn Kieran Delaney! Of all the nights he has to show up, it’s this one. I’m already nervous as hell and then he’s there in the house, all cool and nonchalant.
“This’ll be fun,” Mike encourages as he pulls away from the curb. Ronan and Cormack follow behind us. They’re always with me. Never close enough to talk to or interact with, but close enough to keep me safe. I haven’t had any threats or attempts by the Russians, but I know they could just be lying in wait. I don’t mind The Crew following me around. I feel safer knowing someone has my back at all times.
“This will be fun,” I repeat, trying to convince myself.
As we walk into Little Goat, a great new restaurant that I love and picked for tonight due to its relaxed old school diner feel, my legs begin to shake and my stomach turns. I relax a fraction when I see Sofia waving at us from a booth. I can’t see his face because his back is to us. I can do this.
“Hey babe,” Mike purrs as he pulls Sofia into his arms for a sweet kiss. Mike is Sofia’s boyfriend. It’s a new relationship, but they’re amazing together.
“Sorry I couldn’t come get ready with you, Quinn. My boss is a pain in the ass,” she huffs plopping down into the booth. Sofia works at an art gallery that may or may not also deal in stolen art and artifacts. She’s become my best friend in the last month. We come from the same world and have similar-yet-different personalities. She’s more outgoing where I’m reserved. I’m more confident where she’s insecure. We work well together.
“Quinn, this is my friend, Craig,” Mike introduces professionally.
I finally turn my gaze to him as he stands up. He’s an impeccably manicured man. His light brown hair is styled to perfection, sweeping over to the side and held in place with product. His jaw is shaved so close I want to run my fingertips across his skin to inspect for any signs of growth. Green eyes are shimmering at me as he rises and extends his hand toward me.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” his cool, aloof voice brushes across my ears as I place my palm in his. He gently presses his soft lips to my knuckles, gazing up at me as he does. A bright red flush lights my cheeks and renders me speechless. I offer him a small smile before sliding into the booth, cursing Sofia for making me wear this damn dress. I feel naked!
There’s tense silence between Craig and me as Mike and Sofia dissolve into their own world.
“Great choice for dinner,” Craig whispers near my neck, causing me to jump. He smirks at my reaction and goes back to perusing the menu.
I feel like an idiot. I haven’t said a word since we got here. The problem is, my brain can’t think of anything to say. I don’t know why I let Sofia talk me into a blind double date. I have no desire to date, blind or otherwise. I guess it’s because I’ve been lonely without Kieran. Having someone to talk to about the kids or how my day at work was, I miss that.
I miss seeing him with the kids. My kids light up when they’re with Kieran in a way they don’t for anyone else. It’s one of the most precious things I’ve ever witnessed and I miss seeing it. Now that I’m looking for houses in the suburbs he’ll see the kids less, which I hate. I don’t want to take them from him, but the suburbs are safer now that we’re on our own.
By some miracle I never ended up pregnant. I don’t know what I was thinking allowing that (it was what I wanted). I suppose I was in love and wanted to make Kieran happy. I miss that too, damn it. I don’t want to admit it, but making him happy made me happy. I was isolated and alone, yet I was also full and content. I couldn’t go back to that now. I have friends and a life now that I love and deserve. But I sure miss making Kieran Delaney grin that cocky smile he gets when he’s truly pleased with himself. He’d have one plastered on his face right now knowing I’m on a date and thinking about him. That’s all it takes to push him from my mind and take a chance on Craig, the well-mannered, good looking, professional mortgage broker to criminals. Here goes nothing.
So, maybe not nothing, but Craig is not the man for me. He’s what I suspect men call women like him: high maintenance. The way he ordered his food made my skin crawl. Just order your damn food and let the chef cook it without your instructions. Jeez! This type of thing continued throughout the evening—him insisting on driving then beseeching me to be careful with the leather and my high heels. What was I going to do, exactly? Shit in his car and then grind it into his carpet with my shoes? Then we got to the club and let’s just say he was obnoxiously handsy after a few drinks. I got my fill of fondling and took off, saying I needed to pee. I texted Sofia and let her know I was out and then hopped a cab home. Never again.
I tiptoe in the front door at Kieran’s parents’ house trying not to wake anyone. It’s 2:30 am, so everyone should be out cold.
“Hey,” his voice cuts through the silence, causing me to jump
and rip my knife out of my purse.
“Jesus Christ, Kieran you scared the shit outta me!” I rage in a whisper.
“Sorry,” he responds without an ounce of apology in his tone.
I snort and go back to ignoring him like I have for the last five weeks. I move through the living room to the kitchen to get a glass of water, leaving my purse—and knife—on the island. Sofia and I had a blast together when Craig wasn’t around to dampen the mood with his weirdness. I’m a little tipsy. I only had two drinks, but I only just started drinking a few months ago. I’m a cheap date. I giggle at the thought.
“Is that water funny?” Kieran snarks from behind me.
I roll my eyes even though he can’t see me. I’m not doing this with him.
I gulp back the last of the water and rinse my glass, never turning to look at him. As I spin around to make my way down the hall, he cages me in with his arms around my sides, his hands resting on the edge of the counter.
“We need to talk, Quinn,” he growls.
“I’m movin’. Mike found some nice houses in La Grange. I’m goin’ back tomorrow to do a second viewing of two of them. We’ll have to work out visitation with the kids since we’ll be further away. I don’t really want them to stay with you overnight at first. I’d like them to get used to the new place so we can do visitation here at your parents’, if you want. Maybe once school starts for Jack we can do the every-other-weekend thing,” I finish with a shrug. The whole time I’ve been rambling, Kieran’s face has gone from hard to diamond-crushing solid.
“Mike found some nice houses?” he repeats in a venom filled tone. Out of everything I just said, that’s what he focuses on?
“He’s a real estate agent.”
“Will Mike have his own room until Jack’s comfortable with him bein’ in your bed?” he drones sarcastically. Why the hell would Mike be at my house? Oh shit, he thinks I’m with Mike. This thought causes yet another giggle. Kieran scowls at my inappropriate laughter.
“Mike won’t have his own room,” I respond, a little short of breath from the laughter.
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