“Nee. I’ll take them today. I’d like to play with the girls awhile. Matthew has been fed, but holler out the door if he wakes up in a tizzy.”
“He’ll be fine. You go on and have fun with the girls.”
Becky hummed as she peeled potatoes, cut them into chunks, and tossed them into a pot of water. Who would have thought Rebecca Zook would be content to cook, clean, and care for kinner? The idea nearly made her laugh out loud. When she glanced out the window and saw Lena on the ground covered in snow with her girls pummeling her with crazy-shaped snowballs, she did laugh aloud. Gut for Lena! She needed some fun in her life.
Becky plopped the lid on the pot of potatoes and set it on the back of the stove to reach a slow boil. She lifted the largest ceramic mixing bowl from the shelf and pulled out cornmeal and flour. Corn muffins would be tasty with the meatloaf and potatoes. Mary and Eliza loved muffins. Becky hummed another hymn as she measured and stirred.
A bump at the back door caused her to pause. “Lena, have you had enough fun in the snow already?”
“It’s me, Becky.”
She whirled around at the sound of the deep voice. She clutched the handle of the big glass measuring cup so tightly it could have cracked. “Atlee?”
“I-I wanted to stop by to talk to you for a minute.” He crossed the kitchen in three long strides. He tugged on the measuring cup. “You’re going to break it if you keep gripping it so tight.”
Becky looked down at the cup. Her grip was so fierce her fingers looked bloodless. “Ach!” She relaxed her fingers and let Atlee remove the cup from her hand. He set it on the counter and took her hand between both of his until a pink color returned. “You don’t have to be afraid, Becky. I needed to make sure you believed you were safe. I don’t want you to live in fear.”
“You don’t think I have to worry about those men finding me?”
“Not one bit. It’s been months. You’re free of them. You’re safe here at home.”
“Safe,” Becky echoed. “I believe you, Atlee, and I believe I’m free.” She looked at their clasped hands and then back into Atlee’s eyes, eyes she could stare into forever. “Lena helped me to see that I truly am free of the past. She said when the Lord Jesus died on the cross he redeemed us. He took away our sins, my sins. His redeeming grace is big enough to cover all of us, even me.”
“Do you believe this, Becky?”
“I do, with all my heart.”
“That’s such wunderbaar gut news. Then you really are free.”
“I am.”
They stared as if lost in each other’s eyes until Atlee looked down at their hands. He loosened his fingers and released her hand. “I-I’d better go and let you finish your supper preparations. Three girls out there are going to be plenty hungry.”
“I’m sure they will.” Becky’s hand turned to ice when it was no longer tucked into Atlee’s hand. She wiggled her fingers, but the cold snaked its way up her arm and throughout her body. It squeezed her heart. Atlee’s shoulders slumped as he plodded toward the door. A more dejected countenance she’d never seen.
“Atlee?”
“Jah?” He answered without turning around.
“I’m sure about something else, too.” Her heart pounded so hard she barely heard her own words over the roar in her ears.
Atlee heard, though. He slowly turned to face her. “What is that?”
Becky swallowed hard to force down the boulder that nearly choked off her breath. What if Atlee had changed his mind? What if he regretted the words he’d spoken after he’d had time to think things through? Her crazy fear could have caused him to blurt out words he would never have uttered under normal circumstances. His green eyes were fastened on her face. She had to plunge ahead. “I-I love you.”
* * *
Atlee shook his head to clear the cobwebs from his brain. The cold must have frozen his ears, making him hear things all wrong. He thought sure Becky had said she loved him, but her words came out in a faint whisper. It was entirely possible he was mistaken. Of course he was mistaken. When he’d told Becky he loved her, she had stared at him like he’d sprouted a third eye. Of course, Lena did pick that very moment to interrupt them, but Atlee wasn’t at all sure Becky would have responded even if Lena hadn’t entered the room.
Had Becky’s chat with Lena had such a profound effect on her that she had suddenly realized she cared for him? Nee, that wasn’t fair. He’d had subtle hints that Becky cared whenever she let down that wall she’d built around her heart or ignored that ridiculous inner voice that told her she wasn’t gut enough.
But now, had she really said the words he’d yearned to hear, or had his wishful thinking taken control of his senses? He stepped closer to Becky, still gazing into her big green eyes. He wanted to reach for her hand. He wanted to tuck the little loose honey-colored strand of hair back under her kapp. He forced his hands to remain at his sides. His heart galloped faster than his horse ever could.
* * *
“Atlee, did you hear me?” Becky clasped her hands together to stop their trembling. He must have changed his mind. She shouldn’t have said the words.
“I-I’m not sure. I thought you said . . . did you say . . . ?”
“I said I love you.”
Before Becky realized what was happening, she found herself crushed against Atlee’s chest. She heard his heart thumping in the same wild rhythm as her own. She felt him lay his head on top of her own.
“Ach, Becky! You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear you say those words.” Atlee pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely sure. I truly mean what I say, Atlee. I didn’t mean it all those times I told you I only wanted to be freinden. I only wanted to protect you. But then I was afraid you would find someone else, even though I encouraged you to do that.”
“There could never be anyone else, Becky. If you kept turning me away, I’d just stay alone. What made you change your mind?”
“I didn’t change my mind about you. I’ve loved you for a gut while, but I didn’t want to drag you into my messed-up life.”
“Your life isn’t messed up.”
“I was messed up. We’re all messed up until we ask the Lord to forgive us and we accept His grace. Lena helped me to see that and encouraged me to open my heart to your love.”
“Remind me to say danki next time I see Lena.”
Becky nodded against his chest, where Atlee’s strong arms held her tightly.
“Danki, Gott,” he whispered. Suddenly Atlee pulled back. “I wasn’t hurting you or the boppli, was I?”
“Not a bit. It feels like heaven to be in your arms.”
Atlee bent his head to brush his lips across Becky’s. When she slid her arms up around his neck, the kiss deepened. Time stood still. All Becky could think was how right it felt to be cradled in Atlee’s arms. Her breath came in gasps when the kiss ended.
“Can we visit Bishop Menno to see if you can join the church right away?”
Becky nodded.
“Can we also ask him about a wedding the Thursday after you join, if that isn’t too soon for you?”
Before Becky could answer that the idea sounded perfect to her, Atlee took a step back and grasped her hand.
“Wait a minute. I went about this all wrong, I think. Becky, would you do me the honor of becoming my fraa?”
“Jah, Atlee. I will. There is nothing I want more.” A single tear trickled down her cheek.
“Why the tear?” Atlee bent and kissed the tear away.
“I-I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
“I’m happy, too. And we will make a happy home for our boppli and any others the Lord sends us.”
Becky felt the heat flood her cheeks. “What will your family say?”
“My family will be happy I have found the right woman. They will rejoice with us. I’m sure of that.” Atlee drew Becky into his arms again. “Don’t worry, lieb. Everything will be fine.”
Becky experienced an assurance she had never before felt. “Jah, I know in my heart that everything will be fine. The Lord Gott has covered me with His redeeming grace and has sent you for me to love and to cherish.”
“Forever.”
Epilogue
Becky stood facing Bishop Menno and the ministers, ready to make her promise to the church. This time she was even more nervous than she had been all those months ago. She stood alone. She was the only baptismal candidate this time. After she had met with the bishop several times, he had deemed her ready for baptism and church membership. She knew the members of the congregation seated behind her remembered her mad dash from that previous baptismal service. Half of them probably expected her to bolt this morning as well.
She wouldn’t. This time she was absolutely sure. She had no doubts about her faith, no qualms about making a lifelong commitment to her Amish church. She regretted that her parents had already moved and were not here to share the day with her, but she felt their presence in her heart—the same as she felt the love and support wafting through the air to her from a certain young man sitting on a bench somewhere behind her.
Becky answered the ministers’ questions in a clear, unwavering voice. She knelt to receive the sacrament of baptism and stood for the welcoming kiss from Martha, Bishop Menno’s wife. She was now a full member of the church. A little sigh of relief escaped her lips as Martha smiled at her and squeezed her hand.
When Becky turned around to take her seat, she found all eyes upon her, but they were accepting eyes rather than accusing eyes. Even Saloma and Malinda, Atlee’s mamm and schweschder, smiled and wiped their eyes. She knew his mamm had doubts about her and had cautioned Atlee to think carefully before giving his heart to her, but she always treated Becky with kindness. When she realized the old Becky Zook—the one who had caused Malinda pain—was gone forever and saw how much Atlee loved her, Saloma embraced Becky as a dochder and even began sewing clothes for the boppli.
Atlee met Becky for a walk after the common meal. Lena’s wish for spring had finally been granted. Not even puffy, white clouds marred the blue sky on this perfect day. Once they had neared the tree line and were out of view, Atlee took Becky’s hand. “Next church day, we’ll be published, and then we’ll be married the following Thursday. Are you sure you’re okay with everything happening so fast?”
“More than okay.” Becky leaned her head against Atlee’s arm for a few seconds as they shuffled along. “Ach!”
“What is it Becky?” Atlee stopped short. “Are you all right?”
“I think I got kicked.”
“The boppli?”
“Jah.”
“That’s a gut thing, ain’t so?”
Becky nodded. “I believe he or she will be very happy to have you for a daed. And I will be very happy to have you for a husband.”
Atlee leaned down to brush his lips across her cheek. “Then that makes three very happy people.”
The Reconciliation Page 26