by M. Sembera
Tansy’s expression fell somewhere between shock and disgust.
“Not in a bad way,” I assured. “More like exploring mutual repressed urges with her, ya know.”
“That is a bad idea,” she firmly stated.
“Why?” both First and I questioned at the same time.
Glancing around the porch, it took her a minute to reply, “Umm… Because… Because you don’t want her to think you’re offering her something that you’re not.”
After staring at her for a moment, I blurted, “Oh, shit! Nah, it ain’t that kinda ring.”
She appeared relieved.
“So, see it’s best if you just… Don’t.”
Scowling at the ring, I closed the box and slid it back in my pocket.
“Wait, what if you put it on a chain instead? There wouldn’t be any misunderstandings then,” First offered as Tansy glared at him.
“I always knew you were good for somethin’. Thanks, man.”
I hopped up from my chair and headed inside.
After finding the gold chain my grandfather, Romeo, gave me before he passed away, I waited until me and Joie could have a minute or two alone. When Uncle Auggie, Aunt Charlotte and Wren left to open the bar, the party was winding down and it seemed like the perfect time.
The practice room felt like the right place to give it to her as she followed me in.
Closing the door behind us, I asked, “Good birthday?”
The bridge of Joie’s nose wrinkled as she nodded with a cheery smile.
“I got you a little somethin’ extra,” I informed as I reached into my pocket.
Glad I decided to take it out of the ring box ahead of time, so there were no misunderstandings, I held the chain in my fist letting the ring dangle in front of her.
Her face lit up. “Is that a snare?” she questioned, catching the ring in her hand.
“You like it?”
Rolling the gold snare drum ring between her thumb and forefinger she proclaimed, “Oh my gosh, yes!”
I knew she’d love it.
“You wanna put it on?” I asked, opening the clasp as she let go of the ring.
She was practically bouncing she was so giddy as she held her hair up out of the way. I reached around and fastened the necklace behind her neck. Watching her expression carefully, I leaned in closer than necessary to gage her reaction.
A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth and my top lip twitched. I felt disoriented the moment I pressed my lips against hers. They were soft and sweet and… There was a flash of white light, then pain in my right eye.
She hit me.
“Damn, Joie, what the hell?” I barked at her, covering my eye with my hand.
With a hard shove to my chest, she snapped, “Why did you kiss me?”
My vision was blurry and I couldn’t concentrate. All I could think about was that my eye felt like it was about to explode.
“Why did you hit me?”
“I hit you because you kissed me!” she insisted and shoved me again.
My eyes began to water. I wasn’t going to cry or anything. I’ve been in a lot of fights and taken my share of hits so it’s not like I wasn’t being a man about it. It was the fact that I was caught off guard. I was unprepared to take a hit. She popped me right in my eyeball and it hurt like hell.
Leaning my back against the wall, I rubbed my eye.
Joie’s voice was soft as she shared, “I’m sorry I hit you in the eye. I was…startled.”
I glanced at her with my good eye while my right eye squinted shut. She seemed sincere. That was sort of understandable, I guess. She wasn’t expecting me to kiss her, just like I wasn’t expecting her to try to blind me.
“Sorry, I startled you. You wanna try again?”
Shaking her head at me, she blurted, “No!”
No? It was a good kiss, for what it was. It would have been better if it had lasted a little longer. Still, it was a good kiss.
I may have felt a smidge insulted. “You don’t want to kiss me?”
Joie opened her mouth a few times as if she was going to respond but she never gave me an answer.
“Alright. I know you used to be into me but I guess you grew out of it or whatever,” my wounded ego stated.
“I didn’t grow out of it, Palmer. Things are different now and I just… I can’t.”
“Then, now, what’s the difference?”
“I’m pregnant.”
I honestly thought she was messing with me until the expression on her face sucked the life right out of me.
“You’re gonna have a baby?”
My heart felt like it was trying to punch a hole through my chest as she nodded.
“Don’t say anything. I’m not ready for everyone to find out yet.”
“You haven’t told anyone at all?”
“Tansy was with me when I found out and Roe knows.”
“Why in the hell would you tell them and not me?”
Joie gave me a blank stare.
“I just told you.”
“Wait, how far along are you?”
“Almost four months.”
“Holy shit, have you been to the doctor? You’re supposed go to a doctor.”
Rolling her eyes at me, she replied, “Yes. I know how to take care of myself.”
The hell you do.
“Then how did this happen?”
Shaking her head, she explained, “That stupid antibiotic I had to take after the turtle bit me out at the pond. It messed with my birth control pills.”
“You’re on birth control?”
“Gah, Palmer, I really can’t do this with you right now, okay?”
Nothing about this was okay. Okay.
My mind unexpectedly became clear and focused.
“Give me a name,” I growled at her, bawling up my fists.
“What?”
“Who did this to you?”
Another eye roll. Did she not realize how serious this was?
“Tell me who the guy is so I can deal with him and then…” I started before she cut me off.
“Just stop. It wasn’t like he was a stranger. He knows and we’re figuring things out.”
A sickening, lost feeling filled me as I uttered, “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”
“It wasn’t anything serious. I mean, neither of us were seeing anyone else. It was just kind of a steady fling.”
That’s when it hit me, like a slap to the back of the head or a punch in the gut.
Chapter Seven
I sat in the rehearsal room for a while after Joie walked out. Wren was right. I may not have been a bastard but I had been ignorant as hell. Not anymore. Every comment about Joie I had ignored over the years, or chalked up to Roe knowing she was the only way to get under my skin when I gave him a hard time, ticked through my mind. I wasn’t upset with Joie, not even a little bit. I was worried about her. She couldn’t hold down a job for more than a few months. How in the hell was she going to take care of a kid? She had no car, no more savings and clearly good judgment was out the window too. This was exactly the type of situation I worked my ass off to prevent. Every punk I threatened for thinking they had a shot with her, all the douchebags I beat up for their lack of respect, everything I’d done to protect her seemed pointless in hindsight. It was all for nothing now. And why? Because the real danger to her wasn’t nameless, faceless, loser assholes looking to hook up. It was right there with us the whole time. I trusted him to take care of her and instead he took advantage.
It may not reflect in my reputation but I’m not a hot-head. I don’t snap and see red. For instance, if I ever commit a crime, let’s say murder because that’s what’s on my mind at the moment, you can rest assured that it would be premeditated. I like to think things through before I act. Not so much before I speak but I never throw down without knowing where I stand. I’m not afraid of anything or anyone. It’s just smart to know what I’m getting into before I get into it, ya know?
Roe needed to b
e dealt with. I wasn’t about to let him sit there silent while Joie’s life got turned upside down. Since we were celebrating Joie’s birthday, our parents were here and she didn’t want anyone to know yet, so handing Roe a proper ass whipping would have to wait. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t have a word with him in the meantime.
When I stepped out onto the front porch, my dad, Uncle Seth and Roe were sitting at the round wooden table in the far corner.
I refused to look at him as I stated, “Roe,” and stepped off the porch.
Without looking back, I knew he followed me. When we made it to the front of the shed on the side of the house, I turned and glared at him.
“You have something to say to me?” he questioned in a low easy tone.
“Hell yea, I do.”
Nodding he drew in a short breath. “Then, say it.”
All the threats I’d come up with seemed beside the point as I stared at him. He looked like shit. I didn’t feel bad for him. I was glad he was distraught. It frustrated the hell out of me though. I couldn’t even call him a son of a bitch because I love my Aunt Penny and that’s just mean.
Roe stood there for another few minutes before he decided to turn and walk away.
Oh, hell no! You don’t walk away from me.
“You know I’m gonna kick your ass, right?” I swore before he made the corner to the front yard.
Turning back to me, he stood there and mocked, “You can try.”
Standing up tall, I made my way over to him, assuring, “Won’t be no tryin’ to it.”
“I’m right here,” he taunted, holding his arms out at his sides.
Scratching the side of my beard, I smirked at him.
“You’re lucky you’re family,” I spouted, bumping him out of my way with my shoulder as I started to walk past him.
I didn’t make it two steps before I felt him shove me from behind.
You know what, screw it. I didn’t start this but I’ll damn sure finish it.
I turned and swung, nailing him right in the nose with my fist. Roe hunched over and covered his face with both hands.
“Punk,” I spit out at him, thinking it was over.
Before I could walk away, his shoulder slammed into my chest, my back was on the ground and I couldn’t breathe. He was halfway leaned over me when I grabbed the collar of his shirt to pull him down. Roe didn’t budge. Fisting the front of his shirt in my hand, I used him to pull myself back up. As soon as I was on my feet, I swung hard and hit him in the face again. This time he swung back and the blow sent me stumbling in reverse. I wish I could say Joie hitting me in the eye earlier had some effect on the situation but the truth is he rang my bell, pure and simple. I wasn’t letting him get the last hit though. Staggering toward him, I became confused feeling myself moving in the opposite direction. I didn’t realize until I saw my dad and Uncle Seth grab ahold of Roe that it was my mom and Aunt Penny pulling me back.
Yet another blow to my already wounded ego.
Still trying to catch my breath, I looked down at the red on my hands then looked over at Roe. He was breathing heavily through his mouth and blood was gushing from his nose. Pulling my shirt off over my head, I threw it at him. Dad and uncle Seth let go and Aunt Penny ran to his side as he caught my shirt. In all the scuffle we’d ended up fighting right in front of the house.
I felt the sting of my mom’s hand on the back of my already throbbing head.
“What in the hell is wrong with you?”
Rolling my eye as I tried to focus, I griped, “What the hell, mom,” and got smacked again.
With my shirt balled up against Roe’s nose, Aunt Penny questioned, “Why were y’all fighting?”
Neither one of us answered.
“Somebody better say something,” mom ordered, glaring right at me.
“It was nothin’,” I mumbled, looking down at the ground.
After that, we were ordered to go sit on the porch as dad and Uncle Seth made an unsuccessful attempt to get our moms’ to let it go.
It was like a damn sentencing hearing. Mom was the prosecution, judge and jury so I was getting blamed for everything.
“What if I told you we already know why y’all were fighting?”
If you did you wouldn’t be askin’ now would you? Nice try though.
“Mom, that didn’t work when we were kids it’s not gonna work now,” I assured as she paced back and forth in front of us.
“Then why were y’all fighting?”
Shrugging my shoulders at her, all I wanted was to drink a beer and take a shower.
Aunt Penny tried to simplify what happened by asking, “Okay then, who hit who first?”
I glance at Roe then back down at the floor of the porch.
In our moment of silence, mom demanded, “One of y’all better answer her.”
Roe looked straight at my mom and replied, “Palmer.”
You little bitch.
“Why did you hit him?” Aunt Penny questioned, like I just tore her heart out.
Running my hand down the front of my beard while gritting my teeth, I shook my head unable to look at her.
Mom started poking me in the chest, questioning, “What is wrong with you? Why would you do that? Is that how we raised you? Do you just go around hitting people for no reason?”
My head was pounding, not to mention all her chest poking was digging on my last nerve. I opened my mouth and it just came out.
“Joie’s pregnant.”
In my defense I was under serious duress.
Mom’s eyes flew open wide as my dad shouted, “You did what?”
“What? No! I didn’t do anything,” I swore before Roe finally manned up and shared, “I got Joie pregnant.”
The porch was dead silent for about half a second before Aunt Penny lost it. Her face turned bright red as she laid into him.
Mom’s voice was calmer now as she asked, “How could you let this happen?”
Snapping my head up to look at her, I griped, “I’m getting blamed for this too? Dad?”
“Alright, Liv. I think…” he started to say when Joie stepped out onto the porch.
Everyone stopped and stared at her.
I watched her look back and forth at Roe and I, judge the expressions on our parents’ faces and then stare right at me.
“You’re an asshole,” she stated with tears in her eyes.
Hanging my head, I closed my eyes as the front door slammed shut.
I heard Aunt Penny tell Roe, “I’ll deal with you later,” before she took off into the house after Joie.
I looked over at Roe and saw him staring at his dad.
Uncle Seth patted his shoulder, saying, “Come on, we’ll talk on the way home.”
With just me and my parents’ left on the porch, I rubbed the palms of my hands over my eyes before looking over at my mom.
She stepped closer and placed her hand on my arm. “Are you alright?”
I clinched my back teeth together and nodded. After giving my arm a light squeeze, she walked inside.
Dad cocked his head toward the door, offering, “Come on, let’s get a beer.”
Before we made it to the door, First stepped out and swiftly closed the door behind himself.
“You do not want to go in there right now.”
Dad shook his head, then suggested, “First, why don’t you take him to get a drink.”
We both nodded at my dad before stepping off the porch as he headed inside.
Shirtless, drunk, half blind and beat up, I sat in a chair facing the front of Aunt Charlotte’s desk at The Dog House. I poured myself another glass of whiskey from the bottle Uncle Auggie sent us back there with.
“You knew too didn’t you?”
Sitting behind the desk First looked up from his phone and replied, “That she was pregnant? No, I just found out today.”
I took a sip and glared at him.
“Oh, you meant… Yea, I knew.”
He looked like he felt bad a
bout knowing.
“Don’t sweat it, man. If they hadn’t been hiding that they were seeing each other, today wouldn’t have gone down the way it did.”
With an awkward smile, he shared, “I don’t think it was really a relationship.”
No shit but thanks for reminding me. While you’re at it, wanna cut me open and then rub some salt in the wound, maybe squeeze a little lemon in there?
“Why do I even give a damn about this?”
His tone was far too chipper for my current disposition as he proposed, “Because you’re a little bit in love with her?”
I took a long swig straight from the bottle. “Nope.”
“You wanna tell that lie to someone else?” he laughed.
“No, I’m tellin’ it to you.”
Yea, I know what I said.
I swallowed the rest of the whiskey in my glass, laid the side of my head down against the top of the desk and closed my eyes. Even with the liquor everything hurt.
Chapter Eight
In the middle of a dream where I was a strung up piñata, Joie was beating the hell out of me with a stick while I swung back and forth from a tree in my front yard. I jerked myself awake, feeling a hand on my bare shoulder. Pain flashed through my body as I tried to sit up. I groaned and laid my head back down on the desk.
My Uncle Auggie’s voice sounded humored as he offered, “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”
Squeezing my right eye shut, I looked up at him.
The ride to my house was making me queasy with every turn he made.
“Thanks for the ride,” I appreciated, hoping to get a conversation going to take my mind off my unsettled stomach.
The side of his face scrunched up in a smile as he shared, “I’ve spent my fair share of nights passed out in that room.”
A sharp pain shot from my left cheek straight to my temple when I tried to smile. I leaned forward, flipped the visor down and surveyed the damage in the mirror. There was blood in the white of my right eye and the left side of my face was swollen and bruised.
“You might wanna get that eye checked out,” my uncle suggested before saying, “As big a boy as Roe is, it might be more than a busted blood vessel.”
I flipped the visor back up and replied, “Joie did that.”