by Dahlia Rose
“Oh, God, Mom, do we really have to talk about this? I don’t want to have to wash my ears out after listening to what you’re going to say.”
Her mother laughed. “Honey, I went out with more men than just your father, but he was the one I loved. Put yourself in Aidan’s shoes. If one of your girlfriends had told you the exact same thing about Aidan, you would have felt the same way.”
“But I would have called him on it and not avoided him for three months,” Cherish pointed out.
“Yes, you would’ve because that’s the kind of woman you are, but Aidan on the other hand was probably licking his wounds, but as soon as he found out the truth, he was here trying to make amends.” Her mother patted her leg. “It’s up to you, but if you don’t give him a chance you might lose out on something wonderful. Something like what your father and I had.”
The conversation with her mom stuck with her. Cherish knew her greatest flaw was that she couldn’t forgive and forget easily. Thinking about the callous way he had spoke to her and then how quickly he believed Jose still hurt. How do I get past it? she wondered. Even now when he looked at her with such passion and desire in his eyes that it left her breathless, she still pulled away. God, she wished they could just press rewind and start all over again. She wanted to trust him with her heart the same way she knew she could trust him with their son.
The baby crying brought her out of her deep thoughts and she walked into the bedroom where she’d set up his nursery. His monkey-themed room always made her happy. She threw a yellow burp cloth over her shoulder before she picked him up. It was six p.m., just around the time he got fussy in the evenings. It was going to be another long night.
“Oh, my little sugar pie, we’ll get it together soon,” she crooned and patted his back. His sweet baby smell filled her nose and melted her heart. “We’ll get some warm mint tea in you and some Gas Drop and you’ll give me a big burp, and then—”
Her buzzer went off, causing her to stop mid-sentence. She walked across the carpeted floor to the intercom and pressed the button. “Who is it?”
“Your baby daddy,” Aidan’s voice teased. “Can I come up?”
Cherish rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the smile that formed on her lips. She pressed the unlock button for the door to the lobby. “Yeah, come on up.”
She unlocked the door and cracked it open just as she heard the door to the stairwell open and then close. He wasn’t in uniform today but in a pair of faded jeans, a shirt that showed off his bulging biceps and toned physique, and a pair of sneakers. He was carrying some bags in his arms.
“Hey.” He greeted her with a warm smile. “How’s my little soldier?”
“He’s doing his usual—fussy and gassy.” Cherished stepped back and let him in. “Baby daddy?”
He grinned. “I thought I’d test it out.”
“Yeah, whatever, Vanilla Ice,” she said dryly. “I was about to give him the drops and his mint tea.”
“How about I do that and you go catch a nap. You’ve been dealing with him all day,” he said. He picked up a burp cloth from a stack she kept in the living room and put it over his shoulder. He gently took the baby with a soft murmur and rubbed his back. Marcus burped and Aidan grinned. “Check my boy out. Burping like a man.”
“Are you sure it’s okay if I nap?” she asked.
‘Yeah. You’ve got breast milk in the fridge, right?”
“Yep, I pumped a few bottles this afternoon.” She was amazed at how casually he asked about breast milk and all things baby related.
“Well, shoo, I’ve got him and we’ll be fine,” Aidan said. He grabbed the bottle with the mint tea and put it in the baby warmer. “Don’t we, Marc? Yes, we do, you and Daddy will watch a baseball game and chill out.” He looked at her. “Oh, I got him some stuff. You can check it out later. Have you eaten?”
“I had lunch early. I was working, so I hadn’t thought about dinner yet,” she admitted.
“You need to keep yourself nourished,” Aidan said. “I’ll make us something or order in.”
“You don’t have to,” she said hesitantly.
“I know, but I want to.” The deep timber of his voice always seemed to caress her skin.
“We should talk about some stuff too.” Cherish didn’t want to break the new peace they’ve found, but she had to voice what was on her mind.
He turned to her. “Such as?”
“We need to agree to some kind of schedule for when you can see him, especially when he gets older.” Cherish met his gaze. “I don’t want bring the court into it, but maybe we can work out dates and stuff. You live close to the base and will probably want to take him home sometimes. I just think we should have it in writing. That way we’re both protected.”
“I don’t want that. I like how we have things now.” Aidan’s voice was tense. “If this is your way of trying to push me away it won’t work.”
Cherish sighed. “I told you before, I would never stop you from being in his life, but as time goes by do you really think you can just pop in whenever?”
“Why not?” he asked. “Will you have a new boyfriend? My son won’t be calling anyone else Dad but me.”
“For the love of God, Aidan, I’m not saying that!” Cherish said in exasperation. “I’m just saying that we need to come to an agreement.”
“My agreement is this. Eventually, you’re going to forgive me and we’ll be together,” Aidan said. “If we put a piece of paper between us now, it’ll just be another wall.”
“I can’t force you into anything, Aidan, but you have to think about it realistically,” she said tiredly. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Cherish, please see past what happened and trust me,” Aidan pleaded. “I won’t hurt you again.”
She met his gaze and didn’t know what to say. There had been many months when she thought she would be alone when he acted like a complete ass on the phone. Now, he was in her apartment, holding their son and begging for another chance. She needed to use her head this time around because her heart was screaming yes.
“Um, if you need me just yell,” she said.
“I’ll always need you. I’m just waiting for you to figure it out,” he replied, never taking his eyes off hers. She turned and headed towards the bedroom without replying. His voice stopped her again. “Cherish?”
“Yes?”
“I’m a patient man, peaches. I will have you again and for good,” he said.
Words couldn’t be formed because of the heat that suddenly flooded her body. She simply went into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed to catch her breath. God, what do I do? He already had her heart, and she was slowly losing the will to continue saying no. Maybe her mother was right. Cherish sighed and got into bed. She would follow the path and go with the flow. Her instinct told her that the path would lead straight into Aidan’s arms.
* * * *
She was just behind that door sleeping and Aidan wanted to go right in there and lay beside her. That door was the least of his problems; the barrier she had put up between them was like a solid brick wall. Though sometimes it seemed like there were cracks in her defenses—like today—when he could literally see her giving in. Aidan knew by the time she came back out from her nap that wall would be sealed up tight again. This time he wasn’t going to give her a chance to deny him. Aidan planned to keep her off guard. It was time to step up his game.
“Your mommy is a hard nut to crack,” Aidan murmured and kissed the top of Marcus’s head as he walked over to get his bottle from the warmer. “Were you a good boy today?”
He sat down on the sofa and turned the TV on. He found a baseball game and put the volume down low so that it wouldn’t disturb Cherish. He’d been in town all day and when she woke up he would share his news with her. Aidan put the bottle in the baby’s mouth and looked down at his son. As usual, his heart felt full and ready to burst with love for his child. He never knew a person could love someone so much. How could
people throw their children away and leave it to the state to raise them? He would never understand that. He could see himself in his son; his chin and mouth. Aidan could swear his eyes were turning a light green, but Cherish had pointed out that his true eye color wouldn’t be known for a few months. He didn’t care. He saw green eyes. The paternity test wasn’t in yet, but that didn’t bother him. The answer could be lost forever for all he cared. Every beat of his heart told him that this was his son. Anger surged through him when he thought about how much he had missed because of Jose. He hadn’t seen him around base since they came back and he liked it just fine that way. He still owed the fucker a punch in the face for what he did.
Marcus finished the two ounces of mint tea and he whimpered. Aidan lifted him to his shoulder and patted his back until he gave a loud burp. He grinned. “That’s my boy.” He toed off his sneakers and took one of the oversized pillows and moved it to the arm of the sofa before lying back. He settled the baby on his chest and watched the TV. Before he knew it, he felt a tapping on his shoulder. He opened his eyes sleepily and Cherish was smiling down at him.
“You fell asleep,” she said.
He felt for the baby and sat up quickly. “Where’s Marc?”
“Don’t worry. I took him and fed him a bottle. He is dozing in his crib, though I don’t know how long it will last,” Cherish replied. “I ordered Chinese. It will be here in a few.”
“Shit. I told you I’d handle dinner,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. You were tired.” She hesitated, then said, “It has to be really hard to commute all the time. You didn’t have to come into Charlotte today.”
“I was here since last night,” he admitted.
“How come?” She moved away to the kitchen counter and began washing bottles and stacking them in the steamer to sterilize them.
“I found a place close by. I went in for a six month lease,” he answered and watched for her response. “I haven’t signed yet, but I have eight weeks of leave coming up and I want to spend it close by so I can be near Marcus.”
“You don’t have to do that. You can stay in the spare bedroom,” she said.
“Won’t that make you uncomfortable?” Aidan asked. He could see the turmoil on her face. She had gone into her bedroom and had come back out offering an olive branch. Yes was on the tip of his tongue, but still he was thinking of her first and every step they took had to be hers.
Cherish nodded. “I’m sure. Besides, you’re practically here all the time helping out anyway and you’re his father. You shouldn’t have to pay six months of rent or a steep hotel bill to see your son. The bedroom is empty, and you could take over some of the night feedings.”
“Ah, you had a plan,” he teased.
She gave a small smile. “Maybe so.”
“I want more than that,” he said taking the plunge and voicing his emotions. “More than just being his dad. I want to be with you.”
“I know, but Aidan, I’m not sure. I feel as if you were so easily swayed…” She sighed. “Honestly, what if you figure out a few months down the line that being a dad is not what you want or a relationship with me is not what you want? I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“You can trust me.” He stepped closer. “Do you honestly think I could turn my back on him or you for that matter? When we first met, the connection we had was something I had never felt before.”
“Then how come it was so easy to throw it away?” she demanded to know.
“Do you think it was easy?” Aidan placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. “I read every e-mail. I still have them all in a file named Cherish. It was killing me not to answer, but thinking that Jose could have touched you made me crazy.”
“But he didn’t,” she whispered. “I felt so much for you, and to have you cut me down like that… It hurt so much. I went through the whole pregnancy wondering how you could think that of me and then I realized we really didn’t know each other after all.”
“You said ‘felt.’ Does that mean there’s nothing inside you that feels for me anymore?” he asked.
“I’m not saying that,” she admitted.
“Then let’s get to know each other. We can start over.” He pulled her closer. “Give me a chance, Cherish. Let me show you that I can be a good father and a good man to you.”
“I’m doing the best I can, Aidan. I just can’t jump back into a relationship with you,” she laughed. “Look what one night of really hot sex got us?”
“An amazing son whom we both love?” he asked.
Cherish smiled and his heart skipped a beat. “There is that, and for him I’m immensely grateful.”
“And the hot sex?” he reminded her with a slow grin.
“Very hot.” She licked her lips and his cock throbbed in his pants.
“I want to kiss you,” he murmured.
“Okay.”
Before she could change her mind, he pulled her into him and took her lips, and the taste of her made him groan. Everything from that one night flooded back into his mind—the way her body had seemed to shimmer in the dimmed lights, the way her body had felt beneath him and how her pussy had clenched around his cock, milking him. God, he wanted her, right now, in the kitchen. As his tongue penetrated her mouth, he pressed her against the counter and rubbed himself against her.
She whimpered and wrenched her mouth away from his. “We have to stop, Aidan. Oh, we have to stop.”
“God, let me love you, sweetheart,” he said and kissed her again hard. “It’s been so long. I need you so much.”
“I want that too, but I can’t.” She pulled out of his arms. “I can’t…for at least six weeks or until I get the all clear from my doctor.”
He finally understood and felt guilty. “Ah, shit, I’m such an asshole. I should have known you needed to heal.”
“Unless you’ve been hanging out at maternity classes, most men don’t know that,” she said with humor in her voice. “But as much as I need my body to heal, I need that time to also come to terms with us. If I let you in my life again it can’t be just because you make my head swim when you kiss me.”
“I understand, and I can give you that space.” He grinned. “Wanna know a secret?”
Cherish’s eyes twinkled. “What?”
“When I was in Afghanistan I read everything I could. Even though I couldn’t reach out to you, it made me feel closer to read about the different stages of pregnancy.” Aidan admitted. “The guys used to rib me because I had books in my pack when we were out in convoys.”
“That’s kinda sweet.” She hugged him. “I’m glad you told me.”
“We’re going to be together in that bed of yours, hot and sweating soon,” Aidan said as he let her go reluctantly. “I’m not letting you get away, Cherish. I won’t make the same mistake twice. You’re mine.”
“Four more weeks to go. You might get tired of me.” Cherish moved past him when her buzzer sounded. “The food is here.”
“That’s never going to happen, peaches, and you know it,” he said.
He meant every word, because Cherish Walker had his heart and his entire being. Aidan was beyond happy and relieved that she offered to let him stay. He would be close to her and Marcus. Listening to Jose had taken away vital months where they could have been building a strong foundation for their relationship to stand on. He wasn’t going to waste another minute in letting her know she was the one for him. He was given a miracle the night he found her and then given another miracle to have a second chance at being in her life.
Chapter Five
In the weeks that followed, Cherish seemed to open up more and more to him. He saw the bricks of that defensive wall she had built loosen and crumble. She was his again and they were closer than ever. Yet sometimes the memory of what went down between them seemed to filter into her mind and she would pull away. When that happened, he held her tighter and refused to let her pull away. The nights they sat on the sofa
and made out like teenagers left him wanting and aching. But he wouldn’t change a thing; he was with the woman he loved. He just hadn’t voiced the words to her yet. Marcus was also changing. His son was filling into little pudgy legs and arms. His eyes were clear as he looked around. His soft baby hair was growing and curling at the ends. He watched Cherish call his name in a little sing-song way and he would swear on everything that he was smiling. His son was only six weeks old, but Aidan was certain he was advanced for his age.
There were only a few weeks of leave left and he couldn’t think about leaving them to move back to Camp Lejeune. He wanted to broach the subject of making their living situation permanent. He wanted to marry Cherish Walker. The paternity test came in a week after he was staying with her. He wanted her to tear up the envelope because to him it was unnecessary. But for her own peace of mind and to prove to him that she was exactly who she said she was, Cherish wanted him to see it. The lie Jose had told still stuck with her and this was her way of getting vindication. He was Marcus’s father; he’d never had a doubt of that.
Today they were going to visit Aidan’s adoptive parents. They lived in Union County so it was about an hour drive from Charlotte. Cherish came back from her doctor’s appointment just as he was packing up the baby bag.
“Hey, peaches, how was your doc visit?” Aidan asked. He leaned over and gave her a soft peck on the lips. That simple move filled him with pleasure; it felt so right, so comfortable, like they had been together for years.
“Perfect. Everything is A-okay,” she said with a smile.
“That’s great,” he said and stuffed a few diapers in the bag. “Do you have a cool pack to keep your milk cold?”
“Yep, they’re in the fridge, but you don’t get what I’m saying, Aidan. All systems are go.” Her eyes twinkled with mischief.