by Sam Crescent
“No, not at all. Your mother, I feel closer to her now more than ever. No one will ever replace her.”
Letting out a breath, Bella listened to her family talk about Alaric, and everything he’d done. She glanced over at the flowers. They really were beautiful, but that wasn’t what she wanted to deal with right now. Alaric had succeeded in breaking her heart. What was worse, she believed he was the only one capable of fixing it.
****
Flowers didn’t work.
Neither did lingerie.
Nor did jewelry.
The chocolates may or may not have been appreciated.
Alaric didn’t know what to do, and as he stroked behind Buster’s ears, he looked out toward the veterinary clinic. She hadn’t been there for the past two days. There was no way she couldn’t visit. She loved the animals, cats, dogs, rabbits, guinea pigs—all of them passed by her every single day. He’d listened to her cry, laugh, and love. That was what Bella did, she loved more than anything, and he had tried to destroy that.
Rex thought he was an idiot. He wasn’t. The biggest idiot was the one that didn’t try, and simply gave up.
Alaric was no idiot.
Well, he was fucking stupid. He’d nearly lost Bella, and he probably had lost her, but he couldn’t accept that.
“I’m going to win her back, buddy. I really am.”
He sipped his chocolate, and watched the veterinary practice, and nearly spilled coffee on his pants when someone knocked on the window. Alaric turned to see Bella standing there, wrapped in a scarf, gloves, and hat. She looked frozen, but then, there was lots of ice and snow on the ground. Climbing out of the car, he closed the door to keep Buster warm.
“You kept him?”
“Of course. I love the guy, and after our little shit bonding experiment, there was no way I could let him go.”
“Shit experiment?” she asked.
“Yeah, you don’t want to know.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I was hoping that you’d be here.”
“What do you want, Alaric?” She paused for a second at his name.
“I know I’ve fucked up with you. Everything I told you was the truth.”
“Only you own the company you work for, and your name is Alaric.”
“Blue is my middle name.”
She glanced back at Buster. “Did you buy him to get to me?”
“Yes, I did. I’m not going to lie anymore. This is me, open, honest, giving.”
“Christmas is in a couple of days. I just want to spend it with my family, Alaric. Can you give me that?”
“No, I can’t. I know I probably should, and I’m the world’s biggest asshole for not allowing it, but I love you, Bella. I’m not lying. This is me. I’m not above begging.”
She stared at him. “You hurt me.”
“I know, and I regret that. Really I do. I’m so fucking angry at myself for what I did. If I could take it back, I would.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“Yes, I was. You can ask Rex, my friend. He told me I’d regret this, and he’s damn right.” He stepped closer to her, and she tensed up. Alaric didn’t take another step. “I’ll never hurt you.”
“I just want to go to work.”
“We need to talk,” he said.
“Not yet. I’m not ready.”
****
Alaric watched as Bella walked into work, and he didn’t know what the fuck to do. Everything he tried was either returned to him, or it was a waste of time. She wasn’t like any other woman in his life.
All he had to do was flash them some jewelry, and they fell into his bed without much of a challenge. Not only did he want Bella to fall back into his bed. He wanted her back in his life.
Climbing into his car, he didn’t drive to his own office, but to Jackson Reed’s office. There was only one person who could help him, even though Alaric would probably end up dead for asking for help.
Parking outside of the building, he walked right inside, not caring that people pointed and stared. He had to get to Reed now. He was the only one who could help him win Bella back.
Taking the elevator, he ignored the shouts, and the women asking him what he was doing there. Going to the top floor, he stepped off the elevator, and went straight toward Reed’s office. It was weird of him to think of Reed as Jackson.
“Sir, you need to have an appointment,” a woman said.
Ignoring her, he walked right toward the door, and entered without even knocking. Reed was on the phone, and the moment he saw him, he hung up.
“What are you doing here? It isn’t enough that you go after my daughter? Why didn’t you come to me?”
“I thought you were as cold and as callous as they come. Guess what? I was wrong. I want your help with Bella.”
“It’s not going to happen. I’m not helping you hurt my little girl any more than you already have.”
“I love her, Reed. I love her more than anything else in the world.”
“Oh really, and you think telling me that is going to help you?”
“There is no one else who is going to love her like I do. I will do anything for her. Yes, I fucked up. I know that, but I can’t live without her. I refuse to.”
Reed stared at him, and Alaric let him see all the pain that he was feeling. He didn’t hold anything back, allowing him to see the truth.
“I can see that you love her.”
“I do.” He didn’t know how many more times he could tell Reed how much he loved Bella. There was a constant ache inside him, hoping, praying that he could finally win her back. Being without her wasn’t an option to him.
“Bella, she has never been the one to want flashy gifts, or expensive stuff. You’ve got to give her time, Alaric.”
“I can’t live without her. I won’t. I love her.” Alaric ran a hand through his hair, and groaned. “I’m so fucking stupid.”
“We learn from our mistakes. I don’t like that she’s fallen for a guy your age. I know you’re only a few years younger than me, but I also know that when love hits, there is no control on how we feel.”
“I’d do anything for her, Reed. Anything. I will love her for the rest of our life together, and she will never want for anything. I can promise you that.”
Jackson Reed stared at him for the longest time. “I won’t come between you and my daughter, but don’t think I won’t hurt you if you hurt her. I’ve never gone after your company, Alaric. Believe me when I say, hurt my daughter, and I will run your company into the ground.”
“You won’t have to because I’m not going to hurt her.”
****
Christmas was a really hard affair. Bella stayed at home with her father and Rebecca. She spent most of her time in her mother’s kitchen, making Christmas dinner, and then dessert. There were a couple of carolers, and they fed them as well. The big day was … difficult. She had Alaric’s present in her room.
Speaking of Alaric, he didn’t back down. He was there every single day that she went to work. Flowers still arrived at work, and everywhere she turned, he was taking care of her. When one of the pets died, he sent her a batch of brownies that she loved. He also made sure food was sent to her apartment or to her father’s house, or he turned up at work with lunch. Alaric didn’t stay for her to argue. He simply placed her food on the counter, stared at her for several seconds, and then left.
Every time she saw him, she saw the pain in his eyes, and the regret. For a man who only wanted to use her, he was certainly making it hard for her to hate him.
She tried her hardest to not think about him, and focus on her father and Rebecca.
Her father loved the photograph album she made for him, along with the regular ties, socks, and slipper purchases. They were nothing special, not really. Rebecca loved the bag she’d bought and the few items. After food, they sat down around the television.
Nothing seemed to help, and her heart was breaking every single day. She missed Alaric, and there was no
getting away from it.
By the third day after Christmas, her father came to her room. It was late at night, and she was tired even though she’d been struggling to sleep.
He knocked, and a second later entered.
“You’ve got to give me a little more time, Dad,” she said. “I’m twenty-five, soon to be a year older.”
“I know. You’ll always be my little girl.” He sat down on the edge of her bed, and sighed.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, worried.
“Alaric dropped this off on Christmas Eve. He wanted you to have it, but I didn’t want to risk you being in any more pain. I tried to spare you.” Jackson held out a rectangular box.
“He was here?”
“Yes.”
“Did he want to see me?” she asked.
“Of course he did. You and Rebecca had gone out, and now I think it’s time for you to open this present.”
She looked at the box, and slowly tore into the wrapping paper to reveal a velvet box. Her heart was racing, and as she opened it, she frowned. Inside lay a heart-shaped locket. Slipping open the catch, she saw that there was a picture of her mother, and of Buster.
Tears sprang to her eyes.
“I’m not saying his motives were good, or that he should be easily forgiven,” her father said. “In fact I want to hurt the little bastard.”
“What are you getting at, Dad?”
“This life is hard, and it’s lonely. Being a businessman, you’re used to the cutthroats, the gold-diggers, and everyone who wants to see you fail is always taking a front row seat. This world, it’s not exactly ready for women like you, or your mother. They laughed at me when I married your mother. She was this beautiful light in a whole lot of darkness. I truly believe that Alaric thought you were like the other women in his life. The ones that only want him for what he can give. From the moment he entered your life, you showed him different.”
“This still doesn’t explain anything to me.”
“You love him, don’t you?”
“It’s beside the point, isn’t it? He lied, Dad. He lied, and he wanted to hurt me, break me.”
“I know. Love is a really hard and difficult thing in this world. It blinds us, and makes us feel like fools. Even though love can hurt more than anything in this world, it’s worse not to have known it. Love blinds us, Bella. It breaks a part of our soul, and leaves us wanting.”
“Dad?”
“He’s an asshole for what he did, but if you want to live the rest of your life hating him, I get that. I do. What I want to say though is that life is short. It is really fucking short. I would give anything to have your mother by my side again rather than just my memories. That’s what I regret, Bella. I regret not hugging her enough, not telling her how much I loved her. I don’t want you to wish for more time, or worse, to regret not forgiving him.” He cupped her cheek. “You’ve got to do what your heart wishes. What does it want?”
She sobbed then. “I love him, and I miss him, Dad. Why did he have to hurt me?” He wrapped his arms around her, and it wasn’t enough. She wanted Alaric back.
“Go to him. Talk to him, and learn to forgive. You know your mom would want that.”
“I know.”
He kissed her cheek. “Let’s go and get your man.”
****
Alaric didn’t know whether to drown his sorrows in a glass of whiskey, or to take Buster out for a walk. His little pup was sitting at his feet, loving a stroke behind his ears.
“I miss her.”
He wondered if she had opened his gift.
It had taken him so long trying to figure out the gift, and with the loss of her mother, he’d put her picture inside. She probably hated it, and wouldn’t even give him a chance again.
Glancing across his apartment, he stared at the pathetic Christmas tree that was still up. It was three foot, with too many lights, and not enough class. Getting to his feet, he was about to go for the whiskey when his door was knocked on.
“We have guests.”
Going to the door, he opened it up, and was in shock when he saw Bella on the other side.
“Bella.”
“I wanted to come and see you.” Her eyes were red rimmed, and she looked a little worried.
“You can come here anytime.”
He opened the door, and the moment she stepped through, Buster charged for her. She knelt down, and picked him up. “Hello, Buster, how are you?” she said, stroking him. Alaric really wished she had given him a hug instead. “You’re such a good boy. Look at how much you’ve grown.” She turned her head toward him. “You kept him.”
“Of course. He’s mine now, and Buster’s not going anywhere. He’s my friend, and I need all of those I can get. I screwed up, and I wasn’t going to give back what I’d come to love. I love Buster, and I love you more.”
She nodded. “My dad wanted me to come here.”
Buster moved away, going toward his mat, and Bella stood.
“Do you want a drink?”
“That would be good. Tea, if you’ve got it.”
He walked toward the kitchen, and started making them both a tea. “You’re looking good.”
“No, I’m not. I look like shit, just like you.”
“I deserve to look like this. You don’t.”
She didn’t say anything. “I miss you,” she said.
He spilled some hot water over the sides of the cup. “Shit.”
Bella grabbed a towel, and started to clean up the mess.
“I guess I surprised you,” she said.
“Just a bit. I missed you, Bella. I never want to hurt you. I’m really sorry.”
“You keep apologizing. My dad, he was telling me a little about your world, about the people in it, and I know that it’s hard. I must have been a bit of a shock to you, huh?”
“Shock, delight, at times it drove me crazy, but I dealt with it.”
She chuckled. “I miss you, Alaric. I do, and even though I want to hit you, or shout at you, I can’t. My dad hugs me to try and make me feel better, but it’s not enough. I want you. I miss you.”
He took her hands. “That’s all I want, Bella. Please, give me a chance. Let me make everything up to you. You won’t regret it, okay? I’ll love you harder, better, and more than any man could ever love you. I’ll give you everything your heart desires. Please, forgive me.”
She took a deep breath. “I want us to try, to get to know each other. I want to fall in love with Alaric Blue Patterson, no one else. I don’t need lies, or false hope. I want us to have that chance again.”
“You’d be willing to give me that?” he asked.
“Yeah, I would.”
Alaric stroked her cheek and stepped up close to her. “I won’t let you down. I’ll make you fall in love with me all over again.”
This time she cupped his cheek. “I’m already in love with you, Alaric. I just need to know the real man that I’ve fallen in love with.”
“You do know we’re going to have the best life together. Lots of love, and happiness,” he said.
“You’re that sure.”
Alaric wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. The moment they were together, holding one another, all of his troubles faded into oblivion. The only thing he cared about was in his arms right now.
“More than anything.”
Slamming his lips down on hers, he took the kiss that he’d been begging to do since the moment she left. She gasped, and grabbed his shoulder. She didn’t push him away.
She pulled him closer.
He’d broken her heart, and now it was up to him to repair it, make their love stronger than it ever was before.
Alaric had no doubt he could do it. She belonged to him, and he’d do anything that meant he never saw her walk away from him again.
Chapter Twelve
Alaric didn’t let her down. He wanted her to move in with him, but she wouldn’t do it. Bella was determined to get to know him again.
What scared him the most was the fact that she might not even like who he was.
Their first date, and his hands were incredibly clammy. He had a huge bouquet of roses, and his heart was pounding.
I can do this. I can do this.
He kept repeating the words trying to hope that he wouldn’t mess this up.
Bella opened her door, and she looked breathtaking. “Hey,” she said.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you, are those for me?”
“Yes.” He handed the roses over. “I know you don’t need flowers or gifts, but I like to buy them for you, and yes, I buy them. I don’t have a helper or anything.”
She chuckled, and took his hand, pulling him into her apartment. “Relax. Stop being nervous. We know a lot about each other.”
He had so much riding on this. Nothing to do with his wealth or his company. This had everything to do with his future. She was his entire world, and never had he felt so fucking nervous. He’d dealt with mergers, big major deals, and challenges, even bankruptcy, yet nothing could even compare to how he was feeling right now. This was the biggest, most important deal of his life. This was his happiness, their happiness. He watched as she placed the roses in a vase, and then she was grabbing a jacket.
“I’m ready.”
Leaving her place, they headed down to his car. He helped her inside, relishing each touch.
“How have you been?” she asked.
“I’ve had a much better time. I missed you. I was hoping to spend time with you over Christmas, before and after.”
“Would you like to come to dinner at New Year? Dad always has fireworks.”
“I’d love that.”
She nodded. “I’ll be doing the cooking.”
“Then you can guarantee that I will be there.”
Arriving at the Italian restaurant, he made sure they were in a secluded booth that offered them privacy. The maître d’ took her jacket, but Alaric moved him out of the way when he went to push her beneath the table. That was his pleasure to do.
Taking the seat opposite her, he smiled.
“This place is beautiful,” she said.
“I heard the food is delicious.” He reached across the table, taking her hand.