She hesitated for a moment, meeting his intense gaze, then slid her legs to either side of his hips. Sitting upright slowly, she nervously placed both hands flat on his chest. Love. Utter and complete love was all she saw in his face. She could trust him. She wanted this...him. She needed to love him, like he loved her.
Dipping her head down, she kissed him tentatively, softly. Then, grew bolder. Kyle desperately fought the urge to put his arms around her as he returned the kiss. He trembled when she sensuously slid the lower part of her body over him, brushing his painfully hard erection with her liquid heat. He felt her smile against his mouth when he couldn't stop the groan of agony--ecstasy.
His body tightened more. It had been a long time since he'd been with a woman. Restraining himself was harder than he imagined. His desire was like a caged animal, throwing itself at the bars, desperate to get out.
Leaning forward slightly, she reached between them and guided him to her entrance. He hissed in pain at her cool touch.
Then, their eyes met and held.
Time seemed suspended and for a moment, the old fear flared inside her. She tensed slightly before shaking it off, determined to see this through. Kyle would never hurt her. If she could just get passed this....
Kyle saw the flash of panic skirt across her face as she started to lower herself on him.
"Stop!" He didn't even recognize the harsh voice coming from him. The fear in her eyes beat back the animal howling to be satisfied. He shook his head. <
"It's all right." She smiled and pressed down with her hips, ignoring his plea, taking him slowly before stopping with a gasp. There was resistance, a stretching that almost bordered on pain. Considering she'd never been with anyone after the rape, she probably should have been expecting it, but she wasn't.
Kyle swore.
"Don't, Melanie." His hands grasped her hips to prevent her from sliding further down. He hadn't been expecting this either.
"You promised not to touch me," she reminded him. Kyle released her immediately.
She smiled again. Beneath her fingers she felt his heart beating in time with hers. "I *want* you, Kyle Riker." Melanie shuddered slightly as she rocked her hips, trying to take him deeper.
"Touch yourself," he rasped in a tortured voice, wanting desperately to do it himself. "It'll help."
Her hands hesitantly went to her breasts. His eyes flared. She felt him buck slightly beneath her, unable to control himself. The movement sent him deeper.
"Lower," Kyle whispered.
The sight of her hand sliding over her belly to the dark curls between her legs, where he was half inside her was almost enough to send him over the edge. He throbbed heavily. Her eyes darkened at the sensation.
Then, her fingers touched the point just above where they were joined. Her head fell back with a soft moan. It was amazing. Her fingers slowly circled and pressed as she took him in more. And more.
A groan rumbled deep in his chest. God...she felt wonderful. Soft, warm...and so tight. He balled his hands into fists, straining with the effort to remain still and concentrated on taking his next breath. And the next. He felt her clench hard on him and knew she was close to coming apart.
Kyle's was so linked to her empathically now he could almost hear her thoughts. She was holding back, afraid to let go.
"I won't hurt you, Melanie," he rasped in a tortured voice. "We can do this."
"I know," she replied at the same instant she took him in completely.
Her breath caught.
So did his.
Time stopped.
The universe faded away.
Nothing existed but the two of them.
Together.
One mind....
One soul....
One heart.
<
Melanie's eyes filled with tears as the climax rolled through her. Huge, heart-rending tears. They began to course down her cheeks.
A pained cry caught against the back of his throat. Kyle curled up into a sitting position then pulled her tight against his chest. She wound her arms around his neck and held fast, shaking from emotion.
"Let it out." His voice was gruff. "I'm here now, let it all out."
Silent, soul-shattering sobs racked her small body. The pain and anger radiating from her became a part of him as well. He felt it all. Her head fell back and she moaned in agony. The sound of a wounded animal. It broke his heart.
Kyle rocked back and forth, whispering words of comfort and love, stroking her back with gentle hands, using his body to soothe her. She clung to him, desperately, and let go of all the pain and fear bottled up inside her. Melanie cried until there were no more tears left. Safe in his arms, she could finally let it go.
Then, she fell asleep. Exhausted. With Kyle still inside her.
Carefully he laid back, bringing her with him, rolling her to lie next to him, disengaging them in the process. A sigh escaped her lips when he withdrew. Kyle smiled. He pulled the blankets up and wrapped his body securely around hers. No one would ever hurt her again. Not as long as he there.
Listening to her steady breathing, he vowed to always be there.
Sometime later, Melanie slowly opened her eyes. It was still dark. She lay on her side with Kyle curled protectively around her like two spoons in a drawer. She'd never felt safer in her life. Or more loved.
His arms tightened their hold. "How do you feel?" he asked quietly.
"Alive." She smiled into the darkness. Wonderfully, completely alive. As if she'd been asleep forever and just woken.
"Yeah, I know what you mean."
"You're not angry, are you?"
"Angry? Why would I be angry?"
"Well...we didn't really...finish," she said shyly. "It couldn't have been very good for you."
"Melanie, what happened tonight was the most incredible experience of my life."
She found that hard to believe. "You're just saying that. You don't have to, you know. It was wonderful for me, but I know you weren't satisfied."
Kyle turned her to look at him. There as just enough light in the room to make out his features. His expression was one of sorrow.
"You still don't understand, do you?" he asked gently, his finger tips stroking the flushed skin of her cheek. "The only way I can be 'satisfied' is if you are. Being able to bring you pleasure when all you've known is pain was more satisfying to me than any other time in my life. God, Melanie! I could have come just watching you."
He smiled wryly. "Hell, I almost did. There's no difference between your pleasure and mine. Your pain and mine. Your life and mine. We are Imzadi, or soul-mates or whatever you want to call it. We are one. You are only for me and I am only for you, for all eternity."
"It must bother you that another man has had me then." She should probably avoid this, but she needed to know.
"Yes, it does," he began darkly. "But not in the way you imagine."
"You sound so sure."
"That's because I am sure. This is the beginning of our life together. Nothing that came before matters."
She looked at him doubtfully. "You don't want to know what happened?"
"I do. I think we need to talk about it to put it behind us, but it won't change the way I feel about you."
"I haven't talked about with anyone except your mother," she said distantly.
"I'm glad she was there for you."
"I couldn't have survived without her, Kyle."
"I know."
"I know I need to tell you what happened," she said softly. "But not now, okay?"
"Okay."
"I just don't want him to be a part of us tonight. He's been a part of me for too long. I finally feel like I'm free. I don't want to think about it at all right now."
"I understand. We should probably get some sleep."
Reaching up she pulled his head down. "I don't want to sleep, either," she breathed just before his lips met hers.
Desire flickered then exploded upon them. Her mout
h opened under his. Their tongues tangled. They couldn't get close enough. She pulled him on top of her.
Kyle immediately rolled onto his back so she wasn't trapped beneath him. With a groan he kissed her again. Slipping a hand between them, he found her wet and slick. She arched up when he stroked her.
Melanie slid up on her knees to straddle him. His hands moved to her hips and held her. She felt him at her entrance and shivered. He pushed slightly, slipping inside just a little.
"Open your eyes and look at me, Melanie." She did and he saw anticipation, but no fear. It brought a smile to his face.
Slowly, carefully, he guided her down on his hard length, shuddering as the velvet warmth gripped him tightly, encasing him in liquid heat. She was so small it was almost frightening.
"You feel so good," he told her huskily.
She was stretched and full of him. It was almost too much to take. Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath. Then another. She began to make small movements, sliding up and down in tiny increments. His hands roamed over her back and legs, encouraging her to lift higher, then take more of him.
After a while she did, moving in long deep strokes, marveling at the feeling of him inside of her. Kyle let her do as she pleased, remaining as still as possible, only allowing his hands to touch her in gentle, non-threatening caresses. He held out as long as he could, but eventually it became to much.
His hand slipped between them and found her center to stroke her as she continued to make love to him. He felt her tighten around him, and shudder over him. His fingers pressed harder and moved faster as she ground down on him in desperation.
"Kyle...please."
His other hand cupped her breast. He rolled the hard, pink tip between his fingers, knowing exactly what it would do.
"Now, Melanie. I need you to come now."
It was only sheer determination that kept him from letting go when he felt her inner muscles begin to contract around him at the soft spoken order. Her eyes flew open and when Melanie met his fierce gaze, she climaxed with a soft cry.
Kyle groaned, fighting the urge to follow her. She was killing him. He began to move before she even came down, sending her higher still. Deep, steady strokes. He loved her so completely he was sure he'd lost himself within her.
They would never again be separate individuals, but two halves of one whole.
*****
Kyle strode into the Mess Hall in a much better mood than he'd left it the night before. Melanie was still sleeping, it was early and she was exhausted, but he wanted to bring her some breakfast before his turn at the helm. His brother was in the Galley, pouring a cup of coffee.
"You okay?" Lucas asked him.
Sometimes being a telepath was extremely hard. Even with all the techniques he knew for blocking out the unwanted and stray thoughts of others, when something as emotional as what Melanie and Kyle went through last night happened so near him, he couldn't block it.
Kyle looked at his brother and realized what had happened. He wasn't a telepath, but his empathic abilities were blazing with Lucas' pain.
"Oh, hell, Lucas, I didn't think...."
"Don't worry about it," Lucas stated emphatically. "I just want to know if you're all right."
"Yeah, I think we'll both be fine." He smiled at his brother. "How much did you pick up on?"
"All of it. It was impossible to block. K'Leena too, she's still sleeping, it upset her. Reminded her of things she'd rather forget."
Kyle grimaced and strode over to the replicater to order up breakfast. "Damn. The last thing she needs is to lose sleep. I've never seen her so beat, Lucas. Having Michael was hard on her."
"Yeah, I know," Lucas paused. "I almost lost her...I don't want to risk having any more children. Not after what she went through."
"How does K'Leena feel about that?" Somehow he didn't think his sister-in-law was going to like this.
"She doesn't know."
"You're not planning on making the decision all on your own, are you?" Kyle looked at his brother, realizing he was. "Jesus, Lucas! She'll kill you! You have to at least talk to her about it. This is her decision too."
"It's for her own good."
"You're an idiot if you think she'll take that from you, Lucas. Think carefully about this. She might not forgive you."
"I know," Lucas said quietly.
"I don't know what it is about you and her...," Kyle began scathingly, his gaze glancing over Lucas' shoulder briefly when the door opened. "But when it comes to K'Leena, you seem to lose every bit of common sense you were born with. Don't do this without talking to her...please. You'll tear your marriage apart."
"I've already done it, Kyle," Lucas admitted. "The minute we were back on Earth. I won't ever put her through that again."
Kyle looked at his brother, stunned. "God help you, Lucas." Then he picked up his tray and left the Mess Hall, shaking his head.
"You're a stubborn son-of-a-bitch," came Mike's voice from behind him.
"Et tu Brute?"
"I can't believe you did this so cold-heartedly," Mike said in amazement. "What the hell were you thinking?!"
"That I wouldn't kill my wife by childbirth, Mike."
"Lucas, she would have been just fine if you'd been here. People have children by Cesarean transport all the time. The risk came because you didn't have proper medical access. It would be different the next time."
"You can't promise me that. You know you can't. Anything could go wrong, just like it did with Michael. And the next time Tom might not be around. I won't risk it. I won't gamble with her life."
"Kyle's right. She won't forgive you for this. She adores Michael. She told Tessa she wanted to have another baby next year."
"I know."
Mike looked at his friend intently his eyes narrowing into small slits. He'd known Lucas for too many years. Something just wasn't right.
"But then...that's what you want her to think, isn't it? You want her furious with you. That way she won't guess the real reason you did this. She can't have anymore, can she, Lucas?"
Lucas nailed him with a hard stare. "I didn't say that."
"You don't have to. None of this made any sense. It just didn't fit. Not unless it's her that can't have anymore children. What happened?"
Lucas sighed. "Tom had a tough time stopping the bleeding after he delivered Michael. She's not built to have children that big, Mike. It's too much of a risk to have anymore."
"So you're going to take this all on yourself," Mike said knowingly. "Let her think you made this sweeping decision out of unfounded fears, not facts."
"I don't want her feeling like she's failed somehow."
"You're underestimating your wife, my friend. What about Tom? He'll tell her the truth, you know."
"No, I've spoken with him. He thinks it's better this way, too. She's been through so much this last year."
"Lucas, she's going to find out. You can't keep this from her. I've seen the link you two share. She knows you. Inside and out."
"She hasn't yet."
"She will, you can bet on it."
*****
Melanie rolled over and spied the empty pillow next to her. Sitting up slowly, she wondered when Kyle had left. Her hand trembled as she reached up to push the wildly tangled hair away from her face. Reaching over, she grabbed Kyle's t-shirt from where it had landed on the nightstand and pulled in on to cover herself. It was far too big, but she liked the soft comfort it offered. It even smelled like him. Soap, citrus aftershave and man. That unique scent that was just his. She closed her eyes and brought the ribbed collar to her face and inhaled again. A delicious shiver coursed through her body. The memory of their love making was still fresh. She could almost feel him. Even the little aches in muscles she didn't know she had reminded her that everything was different now. Everything had changed. She had changed. She was free.
Almost free. She still had to tell Kyle about the rape. Melanie bit her lip at the thought. It had been hard enough t
elling Deanna and she was a trained counselor. Her own mother didn't know. She hadn't been able to go to the authorities either. God! How was she going to tell him?
"You okay?" Kyle asked when he came back into her bedroom with a tray of food. Bagels with cream cheese and strawberries. Her favorite. Melanie was sitting in the middle of the bed, curled up in a ball, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs.
Klingon Hearts 11 Controlled - Limitations of the Mind Page 7