Judith forbore to mention that apart from a disinclination for breakfast Honor enjoyed the rest of her meals as much as anyone else.
'I think she's better now I'm living with her,' she said evasively. 'Cooking for one isn't much fun, I suppose.'
'No.' Martin looked thoughtful. Judith glanced at his discarded paper and wondered if he might prefer to return to the day's news.
'Please carry on reading your paper,' she said casually. 'I shan't mind in the least.'
'I wouldn't dream of it,' he said instantly, and with a charming sincerity that made it easy to understand Honor's feelings towards him. 'It's rare I have any company at all at the breakfast table, let alone such decorative company as you, Judith. Aunt Lavinia breakfasts in her room later, but I'm a compulsive early riser, I'm afraid—legacy of my army years. It was an even earlier start this morning, as Raf needed a lift to Coventry to catch the early train.'
Judith felt a sudden flatness, the glow gone from the beautiful, sunlit morning.
'I hadn't realised he was leaving so early.' She took another piece of toast from the silver rack Martin offered, then looked at it blankly, wondering what to do with it.
'He had to be in Harley Street this morning,' said Martin. 'Check-up on his throat. I feel guilty, actually. I'm sure he should never have sung over the weekend. He was supposed to be here for a rest, not an impromptu performance.'
'I'm sure he was glad to be of help,' Judith assured him. it was certainly an evening Hardwick won't forget in a hurry.' Nor would she, if it came to that. In fact, it seemed Rafael was determined she would remember.
When Judith arrived home later that morning there was another delivery from the florist. This time it was a single carnation in a long white box. Judith stood in the hall, staring at the flower for a very long time before putting it in the vase with the others, then went outside to lie on the patio in the shade and daydream, reliving the previous evening over and over again, secure in the knowledge that Rafael would ring later, or if not there would be a letter from him in the morning. There was no 'phone call, however, and the feeling of enchantment faded a little overnight, only to be revived instantly when another solitary carnation arrived, anonymous but highly gratifying in the romantic message Judith assumed it was meant to convey. Honor teased gently, but grew concerned as the week wore on with nothing more tangible in the way of communication from Rafael than the daily floral delivery. Secretly Judith ran the gamut of every emotion from anger to despair as no letter arrived and the only 'phone calls were for Honor apart from a stilted enquiry from Rob about her injury. She made a hundred excuses for Rafael's silence—he was busy, he didn't know her number, perhaps he was forbidden to speak, but deep in her heart she was anguished. Flowers were all very well, but they were not what she wanted. She wanted to hear Rafael's voice, badly needing reassurance that their brief time together had been more than just a pleasant interlude. After a few days Judith was ready to hurl the daily carnation back at the cheery girl from the florist, almost frantic with inactivity, and bitterly certain she was all kinds of fool for being dazzled by the synthetic glitter of a star obviously merely out to amuse himself for a little while with the local talent. One way and another Judith was not the most restful of company and by the weekend Honor had had enough.
'Borrow my Morris and go down to Abergavenny for the weekend,' she suggested, worried by the dark shadows under her sister's eyes.
It was a brainwave. Suddenly desperate to be free of Hardwick and all its associations Judith hugged Honor in gratitude and headed for her parents' home, determined to pull herself together and forget that she'd ever heard of Rafael David, let alone come into contact with him.
For most of the weekend she succeeded fairly well. Her mother and father were delighted to see their child, and after a few awkward explanations about her mishap had been cleared out of the way Judith was able to relax and allow herself to be spoiled a little, almost managing to put Rafael from her mind altogether during the day. But in bed alone in the dark his face was there before her eyes, vivid and ineradicable until sleep blotted out his features.
CHAPTER FIVE
On the Sunday morning the three of them lingered late over breakfast, the table littered with newspapers, as was usual in the Russell household. Judith was deep in an account of a day in the life of one of her favourite novelists when her mother emerged from her perusal of the music and book-reviews, her eyes wide.
'What is it, Kate?' asked her husband.
'It says here that Rafael David was admitted to a London clinic for an operation earlier on this week. Did you know, Judith?'
Judith stared at her mother in disbelief, then shook her head numbly.
'No. I knew he was going to a specialist in London on Tuesday, but Martin never-said a word about any operation.' She held out a peremptory hand for the paper. 'Let me see, please.'
The news item was brief. As Mrs Russell said, it stated that Rafael David, the celebrated singer, had undergone an operation in a London clinic, but gave no details, nor any bulletin on his state of health.
'Did he seem ill, Judith?'
Far from it. Vitality had seemed to radiate from him.
'No. He was consulting an E.N.T. man about his throat, and that's all I know.'
Kate Russell looked at her daughter's face thoughtfully and got up to refill the coffeepot. Judith was obviously shattered by the news item, but too wise to question her on what was plainly a very sensitive subject her mother merely supplied her with strong coffee and exchanged a speaking look with her husband over their daughter's bright head. Judith seemed unable to tear her eyes from the stark statement, and it was some time before she lifted her head to ask if she might ring Honor.
'Of course, darling,' said her mother matter-of-factly. 'We'll have a word when you've finished.'
Honor's number rang for such a long time Judith was on the point of putting the 'phone down when her sister's breathless voice finally answered.
'Sorry, Judith. I was in the bath. I had a bit of a lie-in this morning.'
'Honor—it says in the paper that Rafael's had an operation.'
There was a pause. 'Yes, darling,' said Honor at last. 'The specialist had the result of some tests when Rafael went down on Wednesday, and an operation was necessary. A—a small growth, I understand.'
'A growth!' Judith gripped the 'phone hard. 'What sort of growth, Honor?'
'I don't know, darling. Martin went down to see him this morning. He left very early, but I shan't expect him back until this evening. Perhaps he'll know more by then.'
Judith handed the receiver over to her mother and went upstairs. The word 'growth' turned her cold, however much she told herself it could be benign. She shivered at the possibility of malignancy. Not Rafael— not that wonderful voice silenced, surely. Life could never be so cruel. But life in a hospital had taught Judith only too thoroughly that it could. She packed her case swiftly and went down to her parents, her jacket over her arm.
'I won't stay for lunch, Mother,' she said. 'I'd sooner get back early. It's my first day back at the hospital tomorrow, so I'd better not leave it too late.'
Kate Russell had prepared a big lunch, and opened her mouth to protest, then thought better of it at a warning look from her husband.
'All right, darling.' She reached up to kiss Judith's cheek. 'Don't upset yourself too much, Judith. A growth could mean anything.' She hesitated delicately. 'I didn't think you knew him very well.'
'Neither did I,' said Judith obscurely, and kissed her father. 'Bye, Dad. I'll ring when I get home.'
'Take care, Judith,' he said soberly. 'Keep your mind on your driving. I'll just check the oil and water for you.' He went outside, leaving Judith alone with her mother.
'Are you in love with the man?' asked Kate gently.
'I've only met him a couple of times, Mother.' Judith looked away, a faint colour along her cheekbones.
'I don't think that has a lot to do with it, really, love.' Kate sq
ueezed her hand tenderly. 'Don't get hurt, Judith.'
'Tell me how to avoid it, Mum and I will!' Judith smiled ruefully and picked up her bag as her father came in.
The Russells stood waving the elderly Morris out of sight, their faces troubled.
'I just wish the poor man wasn't an opera singer,' said Kate with a sigh as they went arm in arm into the house.
'Why, darling?'
'Operas never have happy endings!'
The journey back to Hardwick was long. Judith forced herself to keep her mind on the road ahead, doing her utmost not to think of Rafael's splendid body prostrate on a hospital bed. It was no use telling herself she was being fanciful, that there was no earthly reason for him to be prostrate after a throat operation; she kept picturing him lying silent and tragic. And alone. Which was really far-fetched—visitors were probably three deep round his bed. Her own presence would be an embarrassment to him rather than a comfort she told herself savagely, and pushed the poor Morris to its limit in an effort to get back to Hardwick as soon as possible. It was a great relief to garage the car in the stables at last, and with a sigh Judith set off down Chantry Lane, pleased when Honor had the door of the cottage open before Judith could put her key in the lock, hugging her as she took her case.
'Welcome back; I missed you. Had a good journey? Want some tea?'
'Yes, please.' Judith returned the hug and said bluntly, 'Well? What news of Rafael?'
'Good news! The growth was benign, the operation a success, and in a few days he's coming back here again to convalesce at Gresham House, only that's strictly secret.' Honor beamed.
Judith flopped down on the sofa, limp with relief. 'Thank God for that.'
Honor brought in a tray and sat down to pour out. She gave Judith a very straight look. 'You sounded absolutely flattened when you rang.'
'Not so surprising. Reading about it in cold blood in a newspaper was a bit stark.' Judith drank her tea, avoiding Honor's eye.
'Rafael didn't want anyone to know, but it must have leaked out somehow. Martin didn't dare let on that the Press had the information.'
Judith was unprepared for the terrible feeling of hurt she experienced at her exclusion from Rafael's confidence, and answered quickly before Honor suspected how she felt.
'I do hope he gets better quickly anyway—such a rotten thing for a singer to have wrong with him.' She smiled brightly and changed the subject. 'The parents send their love; they look very well. Oh, I forgot, Honor. Dad filled the boot with plums and runner beans, tomatoes, all sorts of things from the garden. I'll pop back to the coach house in a minute and collect them.'
'That's handy,' said Honor, sudden colour in her cheeks. 'Miss Gresham's gone down to a friend in Wiltshire for a few days, so I invited Martin to dinner tonight.'
Judith's fatigue vanished. She sat up, grinning.
'Here? Well, well, who's a bold hussy, then. What brought that on, may I ask?'
'Sheer impulse before you came,' said Honor airily. 'He came straight here on his way back from London, and looked very worn. He's so fond of Rafael—and coming on top of Arts Week like this it's rather knocked him for six, I think. I felt sorry for him, so I asked him round.'
'I'm sure he jumped at it,' declared Judith with a grin.
'He seemed pleased,' agreed Honor guardedly. 'Anyway I had rather a nice joint of beef ready to cook when you got back and if Dad's sent some home-grown vegetables as a bonus we should be able to compete with Gresham House cuisine.'
'Any day! I'll just ring the parents then you can come and help me lug home the spoils. By the way,' added Judith casually, 'are the carnations still arriving?'
'Not today. It's Sunday. But there were two yesterday.'
Judith took great care to conceal the pleasure that this news gave her as she went over to the telephone to inform her parents she was back in one piece.
Later that evening she helped Honor move their small dining table near the window overlooking the back patio, and brought out Honor's wedding-present china and lit yellow candles to match the fringed linen napkins. Martin obviously appreciated the effect when Honor let him in.
'What a welcoming sight,' he said, smiling with pleasure, 'not to mention the most marvellous smell! I walked over, so I warn you I'm quite hungry. It's very kind of you to take so much trouble,' he added, turning to Honor.
'We're happy to return your hospitality,' she said, smiling back, 'what will you drink?'
Judith tactfully left them together and went off to make the gravy and strain the vegetables, enveloped in a plastic apron to protect her white shirt and trousers. They had decided against a first course, and as soon as the Yorkshire puddings were out of the oven she popped in the plum crumble to warm through and carried the main course in.
Martin plainly enjoyed the meal enormously, accepting second helpings of everything. Inevitably the conversation turned to Rafael while they ate, Judith reluctant to show too much interest, but Honor quite openly anxious to know how he was.
'It's not easy to tell' Martin looked worried. 'He's not allowed to speak yet, which doesn't exactly make for easy communication. His London agent Robin Mellor, and his wife Holly, are in strong support, but otherwise he isn't seeing anyone except me.'
'But doesn't he have relations in Spain?' asked Honor.
'No one really close. His mother was an only child, and so was he, and his father's family are completely unknown to him. He keeps up the family house in Granada, but his relatives there are all getting on a bit, and apart from a flying visit when he's in Granada he doesn't see them that often.' Martin frowned. 'Rafael's friends are too numerous to count, of course, in most countries in the world, but at this particular moment he doesn't seem to want to see anyone at all, apart from the Mellors and me.'
'Well, it must be a bit of a drag to be sociable if you can't talk,' said Judith reasonably.
'Yes, I suppose so, but it's more than that,' said Martin slowly. 'He seems so low in spirit—utterly unlike himself. Rafael and I have been friends for a long time and I've never seen him like this before. Normally he's a tower of strength, particularly in times of crisis. I mean, the time my marriage ended in divorce Raf managed to sandwich a flying visit up here between engagements, which actually meant a return trip from New York to London and back again. His sheer vitality was like a shot in the arm; exactly the thing I needed most at the time. That's why it's so disturbing to see him the way he is now, so—so switched off, somehow.'
Honor went very quiet at the mention of Martin's divorce, and began to clear away their plates. Judith helped her, giving Martin a reassuring smile.
'Operations affect people in diverse ways, you know. Sometimes the post-op blues are a bit hard to throw off.'
'Yes, of course, but as Honor knows already, I'm the world's greatest pessimist!' Martin grinned apologetically as they moved to the other end of the room to drink coffee.
Judith remained only a short while before excusing herself to do the washing up, refusing all offers of assistance. 'Fair's fair,' she said firmly. 'Honor cooked the meal, so I'll do the clearing up.' She closed the sitting room door on them and switched on the transistor in the kitchen, whistling tunelessly to it while she worked, with the aim of giving Honor and Martin as much privacy as possible.
Afterwards Judith spent a token half hour with the other two, then went to bed, pleading fatigue and the need for an early night before returning to work next day. The fatigue was genuine enough, nevertheless sleep was a long time coming as she thought of Rafael. Martin's account of his state of mind was disturbing, and it harrowed her to think of someone vital like Rafael mute in his own self-imposed isolation in the hospital. One ray of light in her gloom was the fact that Martin stayed quite late, which seemed a step in the right direction as far as his growing friendship with Honor was concerned.
Sometimes the event dreaded in advance turns out better than expected, but for Judith her return to work was far, far worse. The other physiotherapists, nurses, clea
ners, housemen, porters—it seemed everyone she spoke to all that first day had something to say about her nasty experience, not to mention her incredible luck at being borne into Casualty in Rafael David's arms. Although, to her intense relief no one seemed to have read the item on Rafael's own admission to hospital.
Her nerves stretched to breaking point Judith was thankful to arrive home at the end of a very imperfect day, only to find that no carnation had arrived for her. It was the final straw. Fighting with the urge to break down and howl she forced herself to face facts. It had been just a romantic little interlude, then. Something to pass the time. So now she would have to think of something absorbing to pass her own time, of which a great deal seemed to stretch out in front of her like a desert. There was no Rob now—not that she wanted him. All she wanted was Rafael, and there was no point in lying to herself. What a moron she'd been, fondly imagining an international star like Rafael David could spare more than a fleeting thought for a provincial nobody like Judith Russell.
Wisely Honor made no reference to the missing flower, nor to Judith's day, drawing her own conclusions from her sister's weary face. She served up an appetising cottage pie made from the previous day's left-over beef and let Judith come round in her own good time.
'Sorry, Honor,' said Judith eventually, after good food and a rest had smoothed her jagged edges a little. 'I'm a pig. I admit it. But it was a pig of a day, as I expected. Worse than I expected to be precise. One word about my little adventure tomorrow and I'll blow my top.'
'How's your head? Stand up to all the hard work without pain?' asked Honor with sympathy.
'M'm, so-so. Throbbing a bit, but not from the physical effort; more from the endless stream of questions about the celebrated Rafael. Not my harrowing experience, you note!' Judith jumped up restlessly. 'Do you mind if I dodge the washing up, love? I need some air—I'm going for a run.'
'Oh Judith, please be careful!'
'I won't go near the park, I promise. Just a leisurely jog through town.'
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