What isn’t going to be simple is going to Gage’s parents’ house for the Fourth of July. They’ve invited me but I haven’t responded yet. I’m sure if I don’t go, they’ll think it’s because I miss Gage. But they have no idea we haven’t spoken since he’s left. I’m not sure if I can pretend like everything’s fine, when clearly it’s not. Believe me, I’ve done it so many times in the past that it’s getting monotonous. And I’d like to think that I’ve learned my lesson by now. It’s easier to tell the truth than face the repercussions somewhere down the road. I’m not so sure Gage would agree, but since we haven’t spoken, there’s no way to tell.
Ugh, I’m so sick and tired of feeling like this. No one has been able to pull me out of this funk and believe me, they’ve tried. Unsuccessfully, I might add. This has been one hell of a year and I can’t wait for it to be over. Only six more months to go. Hopefully, 2016 will be much better.
Sometimes, I feel guilty sitting out here on the beach without Gage. After all, it’s his house, not mine. If he were here, he’d tell me it’s a technicality. “It’s just as much mine as it is yours, babe,” he’d say. I know he planned on giving it to me as a wedding present, but now that will never happen. It just makes me feel terribly sad knowing that I’m the one who messed this all up.
The beach house was Gage’s first project after he became an architect. He drew up the specs and his father’s company built it. They’ve worked together ever since. God, his dad must miss him something fierce. They’re Westport’s finest father and son team.
I’ve been sunbathing on the beach for a few hours when Cody begins barking. By the sounds of it, she must have to go out pretty badly. Quickly, I pack up and head back to the house. Normally, I’d have brought her with me but after the last fiasco, I decided to leave her inside. Especially since Gage is no longer here to help me give her a shower. “I’m coming, Cody. Hell’s bells! Give me a sec.” The second the door is open, she’s gone. Here we go again. “Do not chase the birds!” Normally, I’d let her out the front door. It’s less of a temptation for her, but I guess she desperately needs to go out.
I decide to take a quick shower while she’s outside. With all the sand, sweat, and lotion, I’m a sticky mess. After peeling off my suit, I step inside to adjust the temp. I find it amazing that something as simple as showering can lift one’s spirits. I suppose it doesn’t hurt that I’m using my favorite body wash and shampoo. Once I’ve finished, I dry off with a fluffy towel and throw on my boy shorts and tank. Now I’m ready to let Cody back inside.
“Cody, come,” I call out the back door. I wait a minute or two before going to the front of the house. She’s sitting right by the mailbox. What a good girl. “Come get your treats, Cody.” No response. She doesn’t even bother glancing back at me. Butterflies begin fluttering in my stomach as I watch her stare off into the distance. Not again. No, no, no. I can’t keep doing this! “Cody, come!” When she still doesn’t respond, I go after her. “Cody, now!” I command as I grab her by the collar. She whines but doesn’t budge. Oh, for the love of God!
Then I see it. Something poking out of the mailbox. A package? With a shuddering breath and trembling hands I reach for it. It’s so small. And when I take a peek at the address, my pulse quickens. There is none. Just my name: “Lyra Harper,” written across the tiny box. Which means someone had to have dropped it off.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi…
Ryker—Fucking—Steel!
“Cody, come!” This time she doesn’t hesitate. For whatever reason, she follows close behind as I step inside on wobbly legs. I need to sit before I fall flat on my face.
I place the tiny box on the coffee table before sitting on the couch. Then I lean back and just stare at it. Why? I have no clue. All I do know is that I’m afraid to open it. Is it from Ryker? Gage? Who the hell is doing this to me? Cody must sense my trepidation, because she jumps on the couch and gives me kisses. And all I can smell is his cologne. Again! Now I’m livid. I never thought in a million years that Ryker Steel was a coward. And I’m going to tell him exactly how I feel.
Pushing off the couch, I storm across the room and yank open the front door. All that’s out there are the trees swaying in the wind. Laughing at me. I don’t care! I will get this off of my chest if it kills me. I march with a purpose across the yard and calmly stand by the mailbox. If anyone were to see me, they’d never know the turmoil raging inside of me. With the exception of my fists tightly clenched by my sides. My only neighbors live in Florida and won’t return until the Fourth, so I am truly alone. Me and Cody that is. And I know she would protect me to the death. So here goes…
“I never thought you were a coward, Ryker! Or whatever the hell you’re calling yourself these days! Come out, come out, wherever you are!” I wait a minute to catch my breath before goading him once again. “This time YOU have two choices! You can either leave me the fuck alone or you can face me like a man!” I wait and wait and wait. Until I’m not angry anymore. I’m hurt. Why is he playing this game? “Go to hell, Ryker! And don’t bother wasting my time ever again!” I scream before stomping back inside.
Unfortunately, that didn’t make me feel better. It was all for naught, because that damn box is still beckoning me. How can something so small hold so much power?
I hadn’t realized I was crying until I bury my face against Cody’s silky coat. I miss him. So, so much. That bastard! She smells just like him and I’m angry that she gets to see him and I don’t. Why? I snatch up the damn box so fast, I don’t even acknowledge I’m holding it. Until I’ve torn it to shreds. Now, a delicate little snow globe sits in the palm of my hand, while a tiny ballerina twirls in its center. Why does it look so familiar? Because it looks exactly like the one Ryker had at the cabin. The world slows while I watch the snow globe slip from my fingertips. As the darkness pulls me under…
Ryker
Without my knowledge, Cole was able to track me down through The Pleasure Palace. Leaving Sonia turned out to be a whole lot easier after I received the call. He informed me that the time had come to confront the monster responsible for Bella’s death. So, after three-and-a-half agonizing years, I will finally come face-to-face with my wife’s murderer. I just hope for his sake he’s in a holding cell, because if he’s not, he’s a dead man. Consequences, be damned!
Since this will be my first public appearance as Ryker Steel, Cole sent a government-issued SUV to pick me up. Personally, I think this vehicle sticks out like a sore thumb, but Cole insisted on it for my protection. Apparently, he thinks my life is still in danger. Not my problem! I’m here to make sure Bella’s killer gets what he deserves.
Once we come to a complete stop, my driver, Robert, lowers the partition. “Mr. Steel, Cole wants you to sit tight until security can escort you inside.”
The windows are heavily tinted, but I can clearly see who’s gathered out there. Fuck! Somehow, the media must have caught wind about me being here today. It’s bad enough that I’m on edge, now I have to face the reporters to boot. When my door opens, I’m immediately flanked by two men. How ironic. It’s the two goons that pulled me off of Cole at the cabin. Now they’re here to protect me. Obviously, they have no idea Jonathan Day and I are one and the same.
“Mr. Steel! Mr. Steel! Why did you suddenly disappear shortly after your wife’s funeral?” I have to clench my fists tightly by my sides, as microphones and cameras are chaotically shoved into my face. Dammit! No one was supposed to know about this meeting today.
“Mr. Steel! What made you decide to come back after all these years?” Quickly, I pick up my pace, as my bodyguards block the throng of people trying to crush me. I’m no longer accustomed to this kind of crowd. I can feel the panic constricting my chest.
“Ryker! Is it true they found the driver who killed your wife?” Fuck! I know that voice.
I will not turn around. I will not turn around. I. Will. Not. Turn. Around...
By the time I’ve reached the to
p step, I can feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. So when Cole shakes my hand, I’ve no doubt he can feel the beating of my heart through my fingertips. Promptly, he opens the door and ushers me inside. Then he turns around to address the media. “You will all be notified when and if Mr. Steel decides to hold a press conference. He has no comment at this time.”
The moment Cole steps through the door, I react. “What the fuck! How the hell did the media find out I was going to be here today, Cole? And who else knows about the hit-and-run driver besides the four of us?”
Immediately, his hand lands on my shoulder and he squeezes. A silent signal for me to shut the fuck up. Okay, so maybe he doesn’t trust his two bodyguards either. “I’ll answer all of your questions when we get inside the conference room, Ryker.”
I’m livid, but I think I’m doing a fine job of reeling it in. A few deep cleansing breaths and I follow Cole into the conference room at DEA Headquarters. Yeah, this used to be my old haunt before I fell off the grid. I have no fucking clue if they’ll take me back, but I’m not going to worry about it right now. I have something much more important to focus on and I’m not leaving without some answers.
Cole shuts the door, leaving his bodyguards on the outside. Then he pulls out a chair for me to sit down. I know he has an ulterior motive for getting me here, but I don’t care. I’ll tell him anything he wants to hear as long as I get to witness my wife’s killer squirming.
“Before I let you loose inside of the interrogation room, you need to tell me why you pulled that stunt back at the cabin. What the fuck were you thinking, Ryker? You could have gotten yourself killed!”
“If I hadn’t staged my own death, I’d be in prison for holding Lyra captive. You know her parents would have locked me up and thrown away the only key. Besides, we were being recorded twenty-four seven. I didn’t want anyone having access to those cameras once I’d let her go. So I blew it up. For fuck’s sake, Cole. I was an EOD specialist for the Marine Corps. I knew what I was doing.”
“We weren’t even gone for five minutes. How the hell did you get out of there so fast?”
The last thing I want to do is play twenty questions, but I know after everything he’s done for me, I owe him. “There was an escape hatch built underneath the desk in my office. It took me four minutes to reach my destination and then I used the remote to detonate the cabin.” I won’t tell him how I witnessed Lyra fall apart before my very eyes. And what affect it had on me when he was the one who comforted her. I will take that memory to my grave. “How’s she doing, Cole?” It’s safer for him to think I haven’t a clue. When in reality, I’ve been there more times than I care to count. The last time I almost got caught. It was the morning I dropped off the ballerina. I’ll have to be more careful from here on out.
When he combs his fingers through his hair, I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Until I see the tiny smirk on his face. “She’s fine, Ryker. Well, as fine as she can be without you. You might be as angry as a hornet when I tell you, but I don’t have her. Cody lives with Lyra and her boyfriend in Connecticut.”
I knew that but I simply nod in acknowledgement. Making sure to grind my teeth in annoyance.
Cole quickly covers the silence by chastising me. “You know I had a bitch of a time trying to find you since you removed your tracking device. Who did you con into removing it?”
I shudder just a tad when thinking about it. “I did it myself, of course.”
“Are you kidding me? You cut it out of your own fucking arm? God, Ryker. You’re a crazy son-of-a-bitch.” I can’t help chuckling when I watch his face turn pale. Yeah, it hurt like a mother, but there’s no way I could have had it professionally removed. Too many questions. And besides, Sonia took really good care of me.
“Look, Cole, we can sit here for hours and play catch up. But I’ve been waiting for what seems like a lifetime to be eye-to-eye with Bella’s murderer.” I can’t sit here and shoot the shit any longer. We’re wasting precious time. I need to confront the man who stole the very air I breathe. Now! The moment I stand, Cole follows my lead.
“Of course. Let’s get going, then.”
As I make my way down the lengthy hallway, I can feel my body tighten. My hands clenching. Itching for some kind of release. And there’s no doubt in my mind, when I leave this building today, I will not be the same man I was when I arrived...
Chapter Twenty-Five
July
Lyra
I’ve come to the conclusion that I am certifiably insane. Why else would I be having flashbacks of a life that isn’t mine? Pirouetting ballerinas in pink tutus. Piercing blue eyes gazing into mine. Personal love notes shared between lovers. No names. No faces. Just a silent movie playing across my eyelids every time I try going to sleep at night. No matter how hard I try, I can’t piece it all together. It’s just a bunch of nonsense taking up space in my mind. I understand why I’d be dwelling on the ballerina. I’m almost positive it’s the same one Ryker held in the palm of his hand at the cabin. How it could have survived the explosion is beyond me. Unless it’s a duplicate. So if I’m supposedly hallucinating about my time at the cabin, then where do the blue eyes come into play? Ryker’s were as black as night. Devil’s eyes. No one I know has blue eyes. So who could it be? And I suppose the quotes could be because of the note I originally found inside of Cody’s collar. But there’s no explanation as to why I can just rattle off quotes that I’ve never heard of before. Or have I? Oh hell, I must be nuts.
I want nothing more than to forget about these bizarre visions. Even if it’s for a short time. So, since today is the Fourth of July, I decide to go to Gage’s parents’ house. I know, I know. It might be a bit awkward but at least it gets me out of this godforsaken house. I’m tired of looking at the four walls and wondering what the hell I’m going to see next. Besides, I’m sure his sister Gabby will be there. I can’t even remember the last time we’ve talked. So we’ll have a lot of catching up to do.
When I slide into the driver’s seat with my renowned taco dip in one hand and a bag of tortilla chips in the other, I can’t help but notice that my hands are trembling. I shouldn’t be nervous. The Mitchells have been nothing but welcoming in the years that I’ve known them. So I should be calm and collected, right? Well, I’m not. Since this will be the first time I’ve seen them since my infidelity. I know they won’t judge me because of it, but I hurt their son. And I have no idea how many details Gage has shared with his mom and dad. All I can do is cross my fingers and hope for the best.
The Mitchells live in a cul-de-sac, so once you’ve driven down their road, there’s no escaping. Cars of every make and size are parked haphazardly around the yard. So I park behind a black SUV just in case I have to make a fast getaway.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi…
“Lyra! Oh my God, you came!” I barely have time to get out of the car when Gabby wraps her arms around me. Her embrace is so constricting, I can’t catch my breath. “I’m so glad you could make it,” she whispers.
“Me too.” And I am, until she pulls away and scrutinizes me. Head to toe. Instantly, my cheeks flush and my palms grow damp. Until I can’t stand it any longer. “What, Gabby?”
“Sorry, Lyra. But Gage said you weren’t coming because you weren’t well, so I conjured all kinds of crazy things in my head.” And with that, she pulls me in for another fierce hug.
“I’m fine, Gabby. Really.” Wait a second. Is he here? “Gabby. When did you last talk to Gage?”
“I picked him up at the airport last night, silly. Are you sure you’re okay?”
This can’t be happening! He never told me he was coming home for the party. I feel like such a damn fool. This is his home and I have no business being here. I shiver the moment Gabby’s hands slide up my arms. And when her eyes meet mine, their filled with compassion. “What’s going on between the two of you?”
Before I can answer, I hear his voice. “Gabby. Why don’t you bring the chips an
d dip to the party and leave Lyra to me.” His voice, so calm and collected, causes me to tremble. And when I feel the heat from his body gently against my back, I wish it were last year. Before I’d met Ryker Steel.
“Lyra, do you want me to stay?” I love the thought of Gabby acting as our referee, but it’s not necessary. “No. Go enjoy the party. We’ll meet you there in a few.” Gabby gives her brother a dirty glance before grabbing the food and strutting off.
I need to leave. Now! When I try getting back in my car, one strong arm picks me up and pulls me in. Now I’m engulfed by his scent and enveloped in his arms. I can feel tears threatening to fall but I need to reign them in. I don’t want to get into this with his family around.
“Mom said you hadn’t responded to her invitation. God, Lyra. I would have told you I was coming if I had known. I miss you so much, babe.”
That’s all it takes for the tears to fall. “Shh. Don’t cry, Lyra. C’mon. Let’s go for a drive so we can be alone.” Gage quickly fastens my belt and wipes away my tears. Before leaning in and placing a tender kiss on my lips. Stealing the very air I breathe. I’m nervous once he backs out of the drive and heads down the road. This is ridiculous. I shouldn’t feel anxious with a man I’ve known for so long. Especially Gage. When he reaches over and threads his fingers through mine, I let him. And my heart aches when he gently rubs my thumb with his. It’s so familiar and comforting that for a few minutes I forget why we’re taking this drive, until he pulls into our driveway. Ours. But for how long?
“Let’s take a walk along the beach, Lyra. You know if we go inside Cody will distract us, and we need to talk.”
My knees feel weak as we walk hand-in-hand along the shore. When I stop for a minute to slip off my sandals, Gage isn’t willing to let go of my hand. That’s a good sign, right? God, I hope so. He steadies me with his other hand so I can grab my sandals before standing. And when his eyes meet mine, they’re filled with desire. His mouth comes crashing down on mine as he devours my words before I even have a chance to speak. Warm, wet, and hungry. My shoes slip through my fingers as Gage brushes his hands through my hair. Making me wet and wanting. “Fuck, I missed you so damn much,” he whispers against my lips.
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