by M. Sembera
Jackson started explaining, “My cousin gave us a bottle so we could play up the river down the river.”
“Up the what?” Em asked, appearing confused.
With a wide smile, Jackson answered, “It’s a drinkin’ game…” stopping when we heard the back door slam shut.
Exhaling loudly, I glanced at the two of them and headed after Hert. Walking out of the back door, I saw Hert sitting in the garage by the pool table.
“What is your problem?” I yelled.
With a disgusted expression, he shouted, “You!”
Wondering what I had done now, I narrowed my eyes, questioning, “What did I do?”
“Just forget about it!” he snapped, getting up to leave.
Worried he was going to ruin my first real sleepover with friends, I shouted, “No! If you have a problem with me then I at least have the right to know why!”
In a condescending tone, he turned toward me and replied, “You know what, there’s no problem. You can sleep with whoever you want.”
Thinking thanks for you permission, I fussed, “What are you talking about?”
I watched his expression carefully and realized how it must have looked.
Stepping closer, I softened my tone sharing, “It’s still none of your business but I didn’t bring Jackson so I could sleep with him. In fact, I broke up with him today.”
Seemingly unsatisfied, he questioned, “Then why is he here?”
With a light sigh, I replied, “We’re still friends Hert. Besides, I like him. He’s not all cranky like some people. He’s a lot of fun to be around.”
“Oh, so you like him better than me?” he asked, appearing offended.
Placing my arm around his, I assured, “I still like you the best. You’re always going to be my favorite person.”
Looking down at me, he questioned, “Really?” as if at this point he wasn’t sure.
As I nodded at him, I heard Emerson call out, “Are ya’ll playing or what?” from the back door.
Letting go of his arm, I tilted my head towards the door urging him to follow.
The four of us sat around the coffee table in the living room as Jackson passed out shot glasses and pulled out a deck of cards while explaining the rules of the game.
When Hert refused his, Jackson asked, “You’re not playin’?”
Giving Jacks a ‘drop it’ look, I shared, “Hert doesn’t drink.”
Raising his eyebrows, Jackson shook his head and the three of us started to play. I quickly realized, as with all card games, I was really bad at this one. I ended up taking shot after shot and even though I wasn’t sure how long the game lasted, all three of us were tipsy towards the end. In my drunken state, I tried to stand up and hit the floor.
As I laughed uncontrollably, Hert stood up and lifted me off the floor fussing, “That’s it. Time for bed.”
Hanging onto his arm, I argued, “But I’m having fun.”
“Falling on your ass is fun?” he snapped.
“I guess not,” I pouted before laughing again.
Hert started to walk me to the stairs, when Jackson blurted, “Awe, no goodnight kiss?”
Feeling myself smile wide, I let go of Hert saying, “Maybe just one,” with a laugh.
Stumbling toward Jackson, Hert grabbed me around the waist stating, “Nope,” as he lifted me off my feet.
I looked at Jackson, saying, “Sorry, maybe next time.”
Jackson made his little pouty face and I started laughing and sharing, “Look…Awe…isn’t Jacks the cutest thing!” as I patted Hert to get his attention.
Grabbing me tighter out of frustration, Hert helped me up the stairs.
Almost at the top of the stairs, I glanced at Hert. He seemed so irritated and I couldn’t understand why. Thoughts of how rare it was to see him smile provoked me to cheer him up.
Taking my free arm, I pulled myself in front of him laughing, “Why are you always so grumpy?” as I started to tickle him.
Caught off guard, Hert tripped and fell right on top of me.
With one swift movement, he jumped up, fussing, “Damn it, knock it off,” and threw me over his shoulder.
Quickly taking me to guest room next to Emerson’s, Hert dropped me on the bed.
Trying to sit up, I fussed, “This isn’t Em’s room.”
Instantly having to lay back down, I could feel the room spinning.
Catching the side of Hert’s shirt as he tried to walk away, I whispered, “Stay with me.”
Sitting on the bed next to me Hert shook his head as I pleaded, “I want you to stay with me, please.”
I couldn’t quite make out his expression as he griped, “Why did you have to drink so much.”
Trying to persuade him, I whispered, “You never stay and I want you to.”
As Hert leaned a little closer, I heard him say something about wishing I wasn’t drunk before I passed out.
Chapter 18
A few months after our sleepover, and many others, school was out and it was summer time. Hert’s job with The Office kept him busy and he was barely around. I spent most of my time with Em and Jacks. Emerson was the same as always, a new girlfriend was in the picture and of course he was in love with this one too. The only time I was unhappy was when Emerson and I went looking for Jackson, about a week after we broke up. We found his truck parked outside The Bar. I went in and after his cousin Gus fussed at me, for coming in before I was eighteen, he informed me that Jackson was in the back and would prefer not to be disturbed. Sure he had a girl back there, I made Emerson take me straight home and I cried all night. Aside from that one time, Jackson and I’s transition into friendship was effortless. There was constant flirting, on both our parts and we became very good friends. No matter how much I enjoyed spending time with two of my friends, I still missed Hert. Emerson had a date with the new one and Jackson I’m sure had a date with someone. With nothing else to do, I decided to visit Hert and see his apartment. I had asked several times, and always he said no, so I figured if I just showed up without asking, he had to say yes.
Hert didn’t seem excited to see me but at the same time, he wasn’t mad either. He had no furniture and the only thing in his fridge was a loaf of bread and a pack of bologna. It was clear, he needed help. There was no reason for him to be there all by himself. Every day I came up with new things to borrow from Fidora to cook with until I showed up and she had a box of old pots, pans and dishes for me to take. We developed a routine of Hert leaving me some money before going to work then I would hang out with Jacks and Emerson before stopping by the grocery store so I could have dinner ready when he got home. Although we had to sleep on the floor in the living room every night, it was a lot of fun.
I managed to stay at Hert’s for almost two weeks. As I stood in the kitchen finishing up dinner, Hert walked in.
Smiling as he walked in the door, he said, “Smells good.”
Nodding, I informed, “It’ll be ready in just a minute.”
Hert stepped into the kitchen, assuring, “You’re gonna make a good little wife one day.”
After making a face at him, I stated, “Do you want to get hit?”
Laughing, he replied, “I think I could put up with some abuse if I got to eat this good every night.”
Shaking my head at him, I laughed back, reminding, “See, we should move in together after graduation.”
Giving me a strange look, he asked, “You seriously want to?”
“Hell yea,” I blurted before saying, “I mean you’d need a bigger apartment. I don’t want to sleep on the floor for the rest of my life. We could have Emerson and Jackson over and then nothing has to change.”
With a serious look, he asked, “What if it changed for the better?”
“How could things get better than the four of us being friends?” I questioned.
Before Hert could answer, his phone rang.
Hert had an odd expression as he walked to the living room to pick up the phone.
Scowling, he said, “Yes sir…No sir…Yes sir,” before holding the phone out to me.
Confused, I walked over and took the phone, saying, “Hello?”
Instant shouting caught me off guard as my father’s voice questioned, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Um,” I started before he demanded, “You bring your ass home now!”
Trying to resolve the situation, I assured, “I know I should have called but…” before he cut me off, stating, “Unless you want that boy to go to jail, you will leave now.”
“Yes sir,” I muttered then hung up the phone.
Glancing over at Hert, I shared, “I have to go home.”
Nodding, Hert asked, “Are you in trouble?”
Shrugging, I answered, “He’s probably gonna yell at me some more, but I’m not worried about it.”
Nodding again, Hert stood in the kitchen and watched me collect my things as I walked out of the door.
When I made it back to my house my father was waiting in the kitchen for me. I set my bag on the chair before sitting down and waiting for him to let me have it for being at Hert’s.
With a serious expression, my father questioned, “What were you doing at that boy’s apartment?”
“Cooking dinner,” I replied.
Narrowing his eyes at me, he stated, “Don’t be a smart ass.”
Taking great effort not to roll my eyes, I assured, “I really was cooking dinner.”
“What else were you doing?” he yelled.
Keeping my tone even, I replied, “I spent the day at Emerson’s and then went to the grocery store.”
Standing up, my father snapped, “What else are you doing for him?”
Starting to get offended, I snapped back, “Not that,” knowing what he was really asking me.
Slamming his fist down on the table, he shouted, “Why else would he want you there?”
With a heavy sigh, I stood up and stated, “I don’t know.”
After waiting a second for him to reply, I grabbed my bag off of the chair and walked to my room.
Throwing my bag into the corner of my room, I flopped down on my bed. Although I appreciated the fact that in the last few months my father had managed to keep his hands to himself, I wished he could keep his mouth shut too. Kicking off my shoes, I curled up in my comforter thinking. I was fixing to start my last year of high school and that meant I was almost eighteen. Hert would let me stay with him, if I wanted to and after graduation, I never had to see my father again.
Not knowing how long I had been laying there, I woke up hearing a knock on my bedroom door. Sitting up, I watched my mother walk into my room. She slowly made her way to my bed and sat on the edge.
Glancing at me before staring at the floor, she asked, “Can I talk to you?”
Nodding at her, I wondered what this was about.
“Your father means well,” she shared.
Making a face at her, I shook my head, saying, “No he doesn’t.”
Taking a breath, she offered, “He’s having a hard time,” before informing, “Nothing in his life has gone the way it was supposed to.”
Lying back down, I stared at the ceiling and assured, “I know you don’t want me to have sympathy for that man.”
“I want you to think about what you would do, if you thought your life would turn out one way and…” she started before I had to stop her saying, “I don’t care.”
My eyes started to water and it made me even madder that she wouldn’t look at me.
Starting to shake, I stated, “You either make excuses for him or pretend like nothing’s going on.”
Still staring at the floor, my mother said, “I…I can’t help it.”
Nodding, I shared, “Well I can and I’m never gonna be like you,” before rolling on my side and turning my back to her.
She sat on my bed for a few more minutes in silence.
When my mother finally left my room, I pulled my comforter over my head and started to cry. Upset with myself for expecting a little more from my mother than for her to be herself, I knew she didn’t really care about me either. My father and mother were the way they were and that was fine with me. They could do whatever they wanted with their lives because I fully intended on doing what I wanted with mine.
Chapter 19
After spending the rest of my summer coming and going as I pleased, I planned to spend my last year of school exactly the same way. I walked off on my father while he was talking, left without permission and stayed gone for days at a time without calling. Almost wishing my father would do something so I would have a reason to leave, I was now eighteen. The Roberts’ would not be down until the week of graduation and that meant no birthday dinner. Hert was of course working and that meant no pond, so Jackson planned a little party for me at The Bar.
This being the first birthday in the last three years that I did not have to dress up for, I threw on jeans and a t-shirt. With no hair appointment either, I pulled my hair up in a ponytail and headed out of my room.
Skipping through the kitchen, I saw my father at the table and cheered, “See ya later.”
“Where are you going?” he questioned.
Shrugging slightly, I replied, “Out.”
Giving me a resentful glare, he snapped, “You’re going to wish you had minded me.”
With a slight smirk, I sarcastically said, “Thank you. I will have a good birthday.”
My father sat there staring at me as I flashed a quick smile and headed out of the front door.
My first stop was Emerson’s. When I arrived, he met me at the door with a soft smile.
Before I made it in the door, Emerson said, “Happy birthday Ren,” and handed me three gold envelopes.
“What’s this,” I asked before stepping inside the house.
With an unsure expression, Em explained, “It is a Society tradition. My mother suggested I do it.”
Folding the envelopes in half, I stuck them in my back pocket before hugging him and saying, “Awe, thank you.”
Continuing through the living room, I walked into the kitchen.
Surprised to see Jackson there, he had taken an offer from Gus to help out at The Bar, on the weekends.
Smiling at him, I greeted, “Hey, I thought you would already be at The Bar.”
Returning my smile, he shared, “Nope, and I talked Gus into closing down early too.”
“For me?” I questioned.
With a slight laugh, Jacks said, “Turns out he has a soft spot for the little dago girl after all.”
Narrowing my eyes at him, I laughed, “Alright now paddy, don’t start something you can’t finish.”
“Only 'cause you won’t let me,” he teased.
Instantly popping him on the arm, I blurted, “Jacks!”
Stepping back, he said, “I have a present for you.”
A bit surprised and excited, I smiled at Jackson as I watched him take his favorite hoodie off.
“Do I get to keep it?” I questioned.
Giving me a strange look at first, he shook his head saying, “You must be crazy if you think my jacket is your present.”
Pouting a little, I urged, “You should give it to me. My name is on it and everything.”
“So is mine,” he argued, before saying, “You’re lucky we’re friends and I let you wear it.”
Laughing, I griped, “Yea, yea, so where’s this present then?”
Smiling wide, he pulled a little box from the pocket of his hoodie.
Jackson handed me the little white box that was held together by a thin green ribbon. Raising an eyebrow at him when I shook it and there was no sound, I saw him smile wide. Pulling the little ribbon off, I set it to the side and opened the box. Inside was a green hair thing.
“Well its practical,” I laughed.
Smiling wide, Jackson shared, “I figured
I would give you something you could use every day.”
Smiling back, I assured, “I will think of you every time I pull my hair up,” with a little laugh.
Quickly kissing my cheek, he whispered, “I was thinking more, when you’re pulling it down.”
Suddenly all the times Jackson kissed me and slid his hands into my hair filled my mind and for a moment, I missed being his girlfriend.
Shaking off the thought, I gave him a little nudge, before walking to the downstairs bathroom and pulling my hair down. When I pulled my hair back up with my new hair thing, I tilted my head around trying to see it in the mirror. Catching a glimpse of the green, I smiled wide before starting to feel sad. With only a few months left of the school year, things were fixing to change and in my mind, not for the better. Jackson would stay through the summer then he was off to college. Hert no doubt, would be working for The Office full time. And Emerson, with no good reason not to, would probably be married in no time. With a heavy sigh, I stepped out of the bathroom trying not to dwell on the future. I found Jackson and Emerson waiting for me. Slowly smiling at them as Em informed us, for safety sake, a driver would take us to and from The Bar. We headed off to enjoy my birthday.
We arrive at The Bar and just as promised Gus had closed early. I felt a little uncomfortable at first. Gus was so different than the first time I met him. He seemed genuinely happy I was there.
After starting with several beers, it did not take long at all for us to progress on to shots. Laughing at Gus’s stories of Jackson’s family and how Mr. and Mrs. Thomas met, I was having a great time. Gus made us all grilled cheese sandwiches just before his wife called for him to come home. Aside from Jackson and I throwing ice at Emerson after he passed out, I drank enough not to remember anything else. Until, I woke up in the back room of The Bar with Hert sitting on the bed, appearing very angry.
My head was pounding and I felt sick to my stomach. I started to sit up but instantly changed my mind as a queasy feeling overwhelmed me.
“Are you about done?” Hert questioned as he glared at me.
“Done with what?” I moaned.
Without changing his expression, he replied, “You are so irresponsible.”