by Tiya Rayne
“Hey, Little Bit!” I said, giving my God daughter a hug and kiss.
“Hey, Aunt Duck. Guess what, my teacher wants to have a conference with Mommy. She says it’s a good conference though.”
I smiled down at her, her hair was in neat braids with clear beads on the ends.
“Oh, that sounds great. Are you still coming over tomorrow?” I asked as I allowed her to hold my hand and guide me up on the porch.
“Yep! Can we order pizza and watch Netflix again?”
Man, I loved this kid.
“Sure can.”
I walked into the house, and immediately, the smell of weed and cigarette smoke greeted me.
I had to fight to keep from rolling my eyes at the sight of Miles and his dumbass friends sitting in the living room. Miles had more sense than to smoke in the house with Devin and the kids, but he had no idea how that smell lingered on their clothes after hitting one.
I’d learned my lesson over the years about cussing his ass out. He only took it out on Devin by ignoring her or not coming home at night. That shit ate her up. I had to give it to him, he’d never put his hands on her. Myself and Eli both warned him about that upfront. I didn’t think he wanted to call either of our bluffs. He knew Eli would whoop his ass, but he didn’t know if I would really shoot him in the nuts.
I would.
“Ky, where’s your mama?” I asked without taking my eyes away from Miles.
He squirmed in his seat. That’s right, asshole, I made you nervous.
“In the kitchen,” she sung before disappearing back down the hall.
“Damn, beautiful! Why you lookin’ so mad?” one of Miles’ boys said to me.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head. I hated that damn line. I wished they would erase it from whatever fuck boy pick up line book it was written in.
“How can I make you smile?” Homeboy tried again to get my attention.
“By playing in traffic.”
Most of Miles’ friends knew not to play these games with me. I had no problem with a man shooting his shot. I was independent as fuck, but I still liked a man to come on to me. I usually put them down gently, if not efficiently, but today wasn’t that day. I was horny and irritable.
Resounding oohs went around the room as I headed out of the living room and into the kitchen.
“Stuck up bitch!” the guy called after me. “Now I see what you mean, Miles.”
I ignored him and greeted my cousin.
“Hey, love!” I called out as Devin put her cellphone down.
I took Naya off her hip, and my God daughter came to me happily. She immediately started playing with my necklace.
“Hey, girl! Guess what?”
“You sound just like your daughter,” I teased.
Miles walked into the kitchen at that exact moment. He did this anytime Devin and I were alone together. He was probably making sure that if I slipped Devin some money, he didn’t miss it. He’d want to ask for it later. Miles grabbed a beer out of the fridge and popped the top staring at us.
Devin’s excitement grabbed my attention back.
“They have an early opening in Pepperdine, and Naya just got in.”
My excitement was sudden.
“Oh, my God! Are you kidding! Way to go, Auntie’s smart baby.” I planted happy kisses all over Naya’s face. She giggled and squirmed in my arms.
“I’m smart, Auntie Duck. I’m going to school with Ky.”
“You sure are. When does she start?” I directed my question to Devin.
“Monday.”
“Great, I’ll write up the check before I go. I can get her supplies too if you want?”
“We can buy damn school supplies,” Miles said with a grunt.
I didn’t acknowledge him. I knew that’s what he wanted.
“Thanks again, Duck! We really appreciate all you do for the girls.” Devin tried to drown out Miles’ attitude.
Before I could reply and tell her how much her thanks wasn’t needed, Miles spoke up again.
“I don’t understand why they need to go to that bougie ass school. I mean, Kylie is one thing because she’s in school, but Naya got two parents at home all day. She don’t need a fucking daycare.”
For Devin’s sake, I continued to bite my tongue. Be calm, Duck. Don’t go in on his dumbass, I reminded myself.
“Miles, baby, don’t be like that. I told you this three-year-old program is one of the top programs in the state. Naya will roll right from head start into their elementary school.”
“Nobody listens to me. I guess I’m the stupid one. We barely got them folks off our backs when Kylie started at that damn school, what you think they gon’ say when Naya starts? They cut your food stamps, what you gon’ do then?”
It took Jesus himself to keep me from cussing his ass out. I so badly wanted to tell his deadbeat ass that if they cut the food stamps, he could get a goddamn job, or I’d just continue to supply Devin with money like I always did.
“Baby, this is a fantastic opportunity. Don’t you want to give our daughters the best education we can?”
“We ain’t the ones givin’ them the education.” Miles cut his eyes to me as he took another swig of his beer.
I smiled and winked at him.
Yeah, dumbass, I’m taking care of your kids, do something about it.
It’s not my fault Miles was feeling like less a man. If he was trying to take care of his family, I would never overstep the way I do. In fact, I would always go through him if I wanted to do something special for the girls, but since he wanted to lay on his ass all day, he got no respect from me. There was no reason Miles didn’t work. Hell, I would even accept him selling drugs, at least he would be bringing in some money.
Devin, always the peace maker, spoke up. “Duck wants the same thing we want.”
“Duck need to have her own Goddamn kids instead of trying to make our kids like her.”
“And what’s wrong with them being like me?” I asked, still keeping my cool.
I deserved a damn reward for the amount of patience I’d shown today.
“You’re a fucking hoe with money. Why would I want my daughters to be like you?” Miles shouted, causing Naya to cover her ears and bury her face in my shoulder.
I had reached my limit. I was doing well thus far, but it seemed little Miles needed to be checked.
“Better to be a hoe with money, than a hoe without it, like your bald-headed-ass mama.”
“What the fuck did you just say about my mama?” Miles pushed away from the fridge and took a step towards me.
“First of all, take a step back. Then take that bass out of your voice when you speak to me, little man. We both know you’re not about to do shit.”
“Little Man!?!”
I placed my God-daughter on the floor. I wasn’t scared of Miles, but if I needed to put my foot in his ass, I didn’t want to have Naya in my arms.
“Yeah! I didn’t stutter.”
“Ok! …..Ok guys! Calm down. Not in front of the baby.”
Devin picked up Naya, and immediately, Naya reached back for me. I took her from her mother, and she buried her face back in my neck.
“Man, fuck this! I’m leaving. A man can’t even find peace in his own damn home.”
“He could if he had one.”
“Duck!” Devin pleaded. “Miles, when will you be back?”
“I don’t know!” he shouted. “I’m not driving.”
“Well, take my car.”
Which was what he wanted to do in the first place. I didn’t say anything this time. I buried my face in Naya’s hair taking in the smell of her natural hair products.
Devin grabbed her car keys out of her purse on the small kitchen table and handed them to Miles. Miles kissed her forehead, and she beamed up at him like a puppy dog getting a pat on the head.
UGH!!!!
“You uh, you got twenty dollars I can borrow?”
I snorted. “Borrow implies you’re going to
pay it back.”
I didn’t feel bad for starting back up with him. He started with me first. I was doing well until the kids comment.
“Fuck you, Duck!”
“Better men than you have tried.”
“No, you mean a lot more men than me have tried.”
It always made me laugh when someone tried to make me feel bad about my life decisions. Like I should be ashamed. I learned a long time ago, never do anything that you would be ashamed to admit. This was my body, and I got to decide what I wanted to do with it. Who I spread my legs to, and how frequently I spread them was nobody’s business.
I watched Devin hand Miles a twenty-dollar bill out of her purse. I didn’t miss the way his eyes quickly counted the rest of the money in her wallet before she closed it. He glared at me one last time before squeezing by me to head out the door.
“I don’t know why y’all can’t get along?” Devin said while heading out to the back room she’d transformed into her very own beauty salon.
A stylist chair sat in front of a vanity with a large mirror. Every hair accessory and product any one could ever need crowded the space around the vanity. In the corner of the room were two dryers. On a tall shelf was a television along with a stereo, and on the opposite side of the room were shelves stuffed with even more hair needs and accessories. Devin had everything she needed to be a full-time operational beautician, except her own building and a license.
“It’s because I have bigger balls than him,” I stated, finally answering her earlier question.
Devin laughed as she wiped down her salon chair. “You are so wrong, Duck!” She shook her head. “And just so you know, my man has big balls, and a big ass dick to go along with them.”
“Ewww! Girl, do not make me throw up the sushi I had for lunch.”
I placed my God child down on the floor in front of me and took a seat in the chair. Devin pulled my neatly tied silk scarf off my head.
“I don’t know why you won’t just wear your natural hair.” Devin remarked for the hundredth time. “It’s so pretty. It’s soft and curly like my daddy’s. You know you’re the only one in the family to follow Grams’ rules about no relaxers.”
Grams was never a fan of relaxers. Not after she nearly lost all her hair in her youth because of one.
In its natural form, my springy curls fell well past my shoulders. However, I never wore my own hair. I always braided it down and got a weave sewn on top.
My hair was another one of my traits I couldn’t pin on Nita and Papa. Just like my freckles and one dimple, my hair must have come from my biological father. It was a mixture of loose corkscrew curls and waves. Devin was right, my curls were a lot like Uncle Walter’s. My hair was more like his than his own kids who took after Aunt Vivica’s tighter curls.
“You know I’m too lazy to style my own hair.”
Devin chuckled behind me as she tugged on my mid-back length strands.
“So a deep condition and a full sew-in? Are you going short or long this time?”
I pulled the bundles from the black plastic bag.
“To the shoulders. And skip the deep condition, I already did it.”
“Look at you coming in prepared.” Devin joked.
“Hey! Hey, family!” Keisha sung as she walked into the room.
Her four kids followed behind her.
“Mama! I’m hungry,” Quisha, Keisha’s ten year old daughter said as she walked in.
Keran, Keisha’s oldest, gave me a hug with his little brother on his hip. Despite being raised by Keisha’s ignorant ass, all her kids were respectful and well-behaved.
Even though Keisha ran my damn nerves up, I still did for her kids. Like now, Keran was wearing a brand new pair of Jordan’s I bought him for making the honor roll again.
“Girl, don’t start that shit. You should have ate before we got over here. Damn, I can’t do nothin’ without ya’ll chaps beggin’.”
“There was nothing to eat at the house,” Dontae mumbled under his breath.
He was six-years-old and one of the nicest kids I knew.
I didn’t miss the new outfit Keisha was wearing or the fact that her nails looked freshly done. It wasn’t uncommon for Keisha to forget about her kids needs while she catered to her own.
“Get out my face,” Keisha fussed at little Kareem as he reached for her out of his big brother’s arms. “Ya’ll should have went with y’all daddy today.”
“Which one? Their real daddies or the new boyfriend?”
Keisha’s eyes narrowed at me. Every time she got a new boyfriend, she had her kids call him daddy.
“Don’t start with me, Duck!” Keisha warned.
I ignored her and instead used my phone to place an order online.
“Don’t worry, guys, I just ordered some pizzas. They should be here in thirty-five minutes.”
The kids cheered and told me thank you.
“Keran, make sure Ky and Naya gets some pizza when it comes.”
“Yes, ma’am, Aunt Devin.” Keran picked up his three-year-old brother and headed back out to the front to wait for the pizza with the other kids.
“I swear, my kids can have just ate, and they will still beg for food.”
I shook my head at my cousin’s denial. I was pretty sure those babies hadn’t eaten.
“So anyway,” Keisha went on to say, “my boo is taking me out of town this weekend, and I want something sexy and long.”
Devin laughed. “I got you, cousin. I got a new lace front in I bet you will like. I just got it in the mail yesterday. It’s over there in one of those boxes.”
Keisha went to search the boxes for her new wig.
“Oh, and Devin, you need to do something about your sister,” Keisha commented nonchalantly. “She called me this morning asking to borrow some money. She said the baby needed pampers. I told her, I need my money. I can’t be loaning her money. Besides, she the one with the man that’s a lawyer.”
“I just gave that girl money last week,” Devin argued. “What is she doing with it?”
I kept my mouth closed. Some things weren’t my business to tell. I didn’t have the best relationship with all my family. However, they all knew that if they asked, I would help them in any way that I could.
I know where all Chante’s money was going. I knew a lot of shit that I didn’t tell. It was something I picked up when I was younger. I was really good at reading people and situations, and I was also really good with making friends in the right places. I knew at least one secret on every person in my family. Some of the secrets were small, but some of them, were life changing.
“Well, it’s your sister,” Keisha argued. “Plus, you can afford to loan her money. Everybody knows you’ll just get it back from Duck.”
“Don’t play that bullshit, Keisha. I’ve given to everybody in the family, including you.”
Keisha held up her hands. “I’m not complaining. I’m just saying, some of us don’t have it like that to give her. I don’t know why she won’t just come and ask you.”
She knew damn well Chante would never ask me for money. Too much pride. She would die if she found out they were even telling me this.
All my life, for some reason, Chante had been in competition with me. If I got a Barbie, she had to get two. If I got a new dress, she got three new dresses. Aunt Vivica helped feed the feud. She always pitted her daughter against me, even with stupid shit. Chante was a few months older than me. When I got my period early, her mother was mad. Told everyone that Chante had already had her period even though she didn’t. When Chante got her boobs first, Aunt Vivica made a huge announcement over Sunday dinner about Chante needing bras and how other little girls her age were still flat chested. It was then she cut her eyes to my still flat chest. She was sitting all high and mighty until my mom finally told her that she and Chante could probably share the same bra considering Aunt Viv’s breasts were so small. Aunt Vivica got so mad she stormed out of Grams’ house slamming the door.
We heard a loud commotion coming from the front of the house.
“Oh, Lord! Keva is here with that badass boy of hers,” Keisha stated as she took the new blonde wig back to her seat on the dryer.
“He still carrying that bottle around?”
“Isn’t he three?” I asked.
Both Keisha and Devin replied yes.
Keva came through the door carrying two grocery bags. RJ ran into the room behind his mother screaming at the top of his lungs while climbing up on the dryer beside Keisha.
“Keva, you need to tell him to get down!” Keisha shouted over the yelling toddler.
“We don’t like to tell RJ what he can and can’t do. We want him to discover the world in his own way.”
“Well, if he tears up Devin’s dryer, you and Roy will be discovering a way to buy her a new one.”
Keva narrowed her eyes at me but turned to her son and spoke in a soft voice.
“RJ, wouldn’t you like to play in the living room with your other cousins?”
“NOOOOOO!!!!” he shouted and started to beat on the dryer louder.
“RJ, the Lord is watching you. Do you think he would be happy with your behavior?”
RJ only shouted louder. Keisha looked like she wanted to beat the kid over the head. I didn’t blame her, he was annoying.
“Alright RJ, I’m going to pray and ask the Lord to change your mind. Heavenly Father…..”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” I shouted. “Royce Jr., if you scream and hit that dryer one more time, I’m going to lock you in a closet and wait for the monster inside of it to eat your toes.”
“DUCK!?!” Keva shouted.
RJ immediately quieted down and sat on his bottom. His eyes were as wide as saucers.
“RJ, there is no such thing as monsters,” Keva tried to explain.
“Yes, there are,” I argued. “And I know a lot of them that like misbehaving little boys. If you go in the living room and play quietly with your cousins, I’ll put in a good word for you.”