by Tiya Rayne
This brightened my mood. I liked gifts.
“What is it? Give it to me.”
He laughed at my excitement.
“Alright, but if you don’t like it, we can look for another one.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small red velvet box.
My eyes widened when he opened the box. Sitting on a white cushion, was a rose gold heirloom style diamond ring. Filigree scroll work was carved on the band. One princess cut diamond was in the center and two smaller ones were on the side.
“It was Memaw’s. I went by my parents’ house to tell them the news, and Memaw wanted me to give you this. She said that the man that gave her this ring, also gave her sixty wonderful years of marriage. She only hopes it gives us the same fortune. I know it’s probably smaller than what you can afford, and if you want….”
“I love it!” And I did.
This ring was nothing like the one I helped Sean pick. The diamonds were much smaller on this one, but this ring had more character and meant so much more.
“Are you sure, because I have money saved….”
“Shut up and put my ring on.” I teased as I wiggled my fingers at him.
He chuckled as he removed the precious ring out of the box and slid it on my left hand.
It was more beautiful on my finger.
I was so busy starring at my ring, I didn’t realize Jackson had climbed out of the car until he opened my door. He helped me down then grabbed my hand and walked me to the porch. He let go of my hand once we reached the door, and cupped my face before bringing his lips to mine giving me a sweet kiss. Just a gentle press of his lips to mine. My body melted into his like it always did when we kiss.
He pulled away and those hazel eyes searched mine.
“What was that for?”
“Because you’re incredible, and plus you know I can’t go too long without kissing you.”
I did in fact know that. I reached up on my tiptoes bringing my lips close to his for another one of his kisses. We got lost in the taste of each other until the front door suddenly swung open.
“Ooooooh, Grams, Duck out here kissing.” Keisha yelled back through the house.
Jackson and I pulled away from each other, and I turned to her with a glare. Keisha crossed her arms over protruding belly and stuck her tongue out at me before turning to Jackson with a smile.
“Hey, Jacks!”
How was this bitch going to give my man a damn nickname?
“Come on in and meet the rest of the family.” Keisha grabbed Jackson’s hand and pulled him into the house.
He gave me a wink before following her in. I shut the front door behind me and exhaled before I followed them.
Keisha led Jackson into the living room where most of the menfolk were sitting. Papa in his favorite chair, Roy and Uncle Kenny were sitting on the short couch. Uncle Kenny looked up at me then cut his eyes to the floor in shame.
Ok! Odd.
Kenny Jr and Uncle Walter were sitting on the long couch next to a man I didn’t know.
“Everybody, this is Duck’s boyfriend.” Keisha introduced Jackson as if she had an inside joke that no one else knew.
Papa climbed out of his chair to greet Jackson and shake his hand. “This isn’t Duck’s boyfriend.” Papa announced with a proud smile. “This is her fiancé.”
I smiled and held up my new ring proudly.
Keisha gasped and turned to me with wide eyes. Uncle Walter came over to Jackson and patted him on the back.
“Nice to meet you young man, I’m Walter Perkins, I’m Charlice’s fa…….” He looked over to me and smiled. “I’m her Uncle.”
“Nice to meet you.” Jackson greeted, holding out his hand for Uncle Walter to shake.
“Come on and sit down with the men, Jackson.”
“Not yet, Papa.” Keisha said abruptly. “He has to say hello to Grams first.”
Keisha looked toward me and I saw a flash of warning in her eyes. What was she warning me about? I didn’t get a chance to ask, because the guy that I’d never seen before walked over to me with a practiced smile. He was dressed like what I’d imagine a modern day pimp would look. He wore a long sleeved powder blue walking suit with matching square toed alligator dress shoes. He looked me up and down, then smiled, showing off a gold tooth.
“Well look at you.” He stated. “You look just as good as your mother.”
My heart picked up pace. No way. There was no way in hell she was here.
“Well look at my baby!” Bernita’s bedroom voice purred.
My mother always had a practiced sexy voice for whenever she was around men. Even if she wasn’t using that damn voice, I would still know a man was near. Nita never called me her baby. Probably not even when I was a damn baby.
“Come here, Duck. Let me get a good look at you.”
Bernita Lynn Jefferies stood before me in a red silk wrap dress. Her body was still that perfect hourglass shape that she was when she was younger. She was a prime example of how black don’t crack. Flawless golden bronze skin, high cheek bones, upturned eyes, narrow nose, and her hair was cut in beautiful shoulder length curls. I’d always thought Nita resembled the actress Vivica Fox. Nita was gorgeous, which was why she was never short of men’s attention. It wasn’t her beauty that turned men away from her, her outside just didn’t match her insides.
By now most of the family had come out of the kitchen to see the happy reunion between mother and daughter. Aunt Vivica, Grams, Aunt Jo, Keva and Devin are all standing in the door of the living room. Only people missing was Chante. And Quincy, but who the fuck cared about him. I also noticed Eli wasn’t here either.
After taking Nita all in, I turned my attention towards Gram’s. She had the right mind to look guilty.
“Are you kidding me?” I dragged out the words to show my frustration.
Grams knew how I felt about Nita, hell everyone did. Yet, she set me up to come here for this bullshit reunion.
Grams’ opened her mouth to say something, but Papa cut her off.
“It’s not your grandmother’s fault, Duck. I wanted you all here. It’s some truths that need to be told, and I’m ready to tell it.”
“What truth?”
He kept talking about truths, but I’ve told all the truths. Well, all that I was ever going to tell.
“Daddy?” Aunt Vivica stepped forward, both hands planted on her hips. “I know you aren’t talking about what I think you’re talking about.”
Papa held his hands up, palms facing out. “Now, Viv….”
“No, Daddy! You promised me we could forget it. You said that if I let her keep it, we would never mention it again.”
“I know, but that was before I knew it would cause problems.”
“Problems for who? Her?” Aunt Vivica pointed towards me.
“Daddy I agree with Vivica. Let’s not bring up the past.” Nita said stepping up beside her new man.
She wrapped her arms around his and looked up at him lovingly. If I wasn’t so pissed I would have laughed at the show she was putting on.
“Besides, I’ve been delivered of my old ways.” Nita continued.
I scoffed, and Nita cut her eyes to me. The only thing that bitch knew about delivering was pizza.
“Well I agree with Mr. Jefferies.” Uncle Walter said standing on the other side of me. “It’s time.”
Aunt Vivica stormed up to Uncle Walter and slapped him across the face so hard his head turned.
“Mama!” Devin shouted.
I gasped. I would have knocked her ass out, but luckily Uncle Walter was more of a gentlemen. He just rubbed his sore cheek and stared back at her like a scolded puppy.
“I told you your shit would come back and bite me in the ass.” Aunt Vivica yelled at him.
“Vivica, that’s enough.” Gram’s finally said stepping forward.
“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” I demanded.
We had just stepped in the house and already this shit show
had stared. I felt Jackson’s hand stroking my back soothingly. Thank God for his presence.
All eyes turned back to me.
“Sit down, Duck.” Papa offered.
“She don’t need to sit down.” Aunt Vivica yelled and the arguing ensued.
Everyone was shouting to be heard and I was standing here in the middle of the floor trying to figure out why the hell I let them talk me into coming here. It was definitely too soon. I was two seconds away from grabbing my man, saying fuck it, and just leaving, until Uncle Walter’s voice called out over all the noise.
“I’m your father.”
The room went silent. Uncle Walter turned to me and smiled. A smile that I realized was familiar, just like a few other things. Walter was a lot lighter than me, resembling Grams color, but his smile was similar to mine. Even the few curls that surrounded his bald spot was a match to the mass of black curls that draped my shoulders. He and I weren’t twins, I had too much Nita and Papa for that, but we definitely resembled.
“I been wanting to tell you that a long time, Charlice. But your grandparents thought it would be too confusing for you to grow up with an Uncle that is also your father, and I respected their opinion.”
I stood in stunned silence. A flurry of emotions rushed through me. Happiness initially.
All my life I’ve wondered about who my father was. Many times during my childhood I wished my father would’ve came and taken me away from my mother. I prayed that he would stop my Uncle from hurting me and he would show me the love that I craved. The love every little girl needs from her daddy.
Sadness came next. Sadness because I finally understood why my aunt hated me. She’d had to look at me every day of my life and be reminded that my mother slept with her man. And since Chante and I were only a few months apart, it was obvious they were sleeping with him at the same time. I was also sad, because I knew that this revelation came at a cost to Devin. She had always been a daddy’s girl and thought highly of her father. From the look on her face now, I knew she was heartbroken.
Thinking of Devin’s ruined relationship fed into my bitterness. Bitterness because I missed out on Thirty three years of having my father in my life. Thirty three years of missed hugs and I love you’s. Thirty-three years of a relationship that I needed.
That’s when anger hit. The third emotion, and the one that stuck the longest. Who gave them the right to take my father away from me? Who told them that they could make decisions over my life? Maybe when I was younger, I might have been confused, but at some point I would have been old enough to understand. Hell, I had gone through more shit by the age of eleven than most people experienced in their lifetime. I would have been able to come to terms with knowing who my fucking father was.
“Charlice, do you have something to say?” Uncle Walter, or I guess I should call him my dad, asked.
He was staring at me cautiously like I might pass out. From the swooshing sound in my ears I just might. Actually, everyone was looking at me like I might pass out.
I found Nita’s eyes in the crowd of faces. She had the audacity to look at me like she hadn’t kept a huge secret from her only child. Like a person that didn’t nearly ruin a family because she couldn’t keep her fucking legs close.
“You are such bitch.” I said to Nita.
The shocked look on her face didn’t surprise me, she never knew how to own up to her shit.
“Your entire life has been spent fucking up everyone else’s.” I continued.
“Now hold up.” That sweet flirty voice was gone and the real Nita was here. “Don’t act like it was all my fault. I told Walter I was pregnant, and he didn’t want you. Too busy running behind my bitch of a sister.”
Vivica took a step towards Nita, but Uncle Kenny held her back.
“That’s not true.” Uncle Walter turned to me, his light brown eyes pleading for me to believe him. “I never said I didn’t want you Charlice. I told your mama that I didn’t want her. She wanted me to leave Vivica and be with her. I admit that I messed up by sleeping with your mama, but I was in love with Viv. Nita got mad and told the entire church on our wedding day that she was pregnant by me. That’s why your grandfather banned me from coming to the house.”
“Love?” Nita laughed. “How much did you love my sister when you was fucking me in your car after dropping her off? Huh, Walter? You would have been still picking me up from school if I hadn’t got pregnant. You wanted me, you just didn’t want a damn baby. Don’t lie to Charlice now because you’re trying to play the victim. Soon as Viv had your little light skinned baby, you didn’t give a shit about my black ass daughter. Don’t pretend like you cared about Duck.”
The room grew silent again. I realized, right then that knowing my father didn’t change anything. I was still the bastard unwanted child of Bernita Jefferies. My father had been seven minutes away from me all my life, and not once had he tried to reach out to me. Yes, Uncle Walter had always been nice to me. He had a smile and a hug every time he saw me, but where was he the other times. Where was he when I needed him? He could have been more involved in my life, I wouldn’t have suspected anything other than he was being a good uncle. But I guess Nita was right, he already had the daughters he wanted.
“Jackson let’s go.” I didn’t wait for him to follow me, I turned on my heels to get the hell out of that house.
I kept my secrets because I wanted to help my family and because deep down I loved them all. But this secret wasn’t to help me. It wasn’t in my best interest. This secret was for everyone else but me.
As soon as I got to the front door it swung open and Eli was standing on the other side. I walked right into him before I could stop myself.
“Duck, what’s wrong?” My cousin immediately knew something was off with me.
I shook my head. “I have to go.” My eyes were already burning from the tears that were threatening to fall.
Eli’s eyes scanned my body like he was looking for physical harm.
“Ok,” He said after he realized I wasn’t hurt. “But I need to talk to you. It’s about that Cliff guy.”
I heard nothing else Eli said after ok, because walking up behind him, was my biggest fear.
My heart took off in my chest, my pulse was racing and I could feel my lungs closing up.
“Hey, Baby Girl! How you been?”
“Martin is that you!” I could hear Grams’ footsteps as she came closer to the foyer.
I didn’t turn around to see her because I was too afraid to take my eyes off of him.
He was still the same man I remembered from all those years. Penetrating brown eyes, light brown skin the same color as Grams’. His wide nose and thick black eye brows over sleepy looking eyes. To many woman, Uncle Martin was an attractive man, but to me, he was the boogeyman. And although it had been seventeen years since the last time he hurt me, he still had the ability to scare the hell out of me.
The entire family came out of the living room to greet the long lost son. They surrounded him in hugs and cheerful greetings. I used the distraction to slip away into the upstairs bathroom. I shut the door and flopped down on the toilet trying to fight my ragged breathing. I could barely get enough air through my lungs. The room spun and I felt close to passing out.
The knock on the door startled me.
“Hey Duck! You alright?” Eli called out from the other side of the door. “Your fiancé, the one I’m just hearing about by the way, is looking for you.”
“Tell…” my voice cracked and I had to stop and start over. “Tell him I’ll be out in a minute.”
As I knew he would, Eli picked up on my tone. When he asked if I was alright again, the playfulness in his voice was absent.
“Please, just give me a minute.” I pleaded to Eli.
He stood at the door for a few seconds before leaving. I listened as the sound of his footsteps lead him back down the stairs. I couldn’t stay here. I may have been able to stay in the same room as Nita, but I couldn’t stay in the
same general area as Uncle Martin. However, I had to get myself under control before I could even go back down the stairs.
It felt like forever, but it was really only twenty minutes. My breathing was finally slightly manageable. I just needed to make it down the stairs long enough to walk out the door. I didn’t need an excuse to leave. I was already heading out.
As soon as I opened the door he was standing there.
“You alright, Baby Girl?”
That fucking smile on his face. The same one he wore…. No! You’re not that little girl any more.
I tried to walk past him and he grabbed my arm.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” I seethed.
Uncle Martin held his hands up in surrender, but the smirk remained.
“Why you acting like this, Baby girl. I came all this way to see you. You looking so good, you miss me?”
I was transported back in time. That fucking pet name, his voice and that grin on his face. My childhood nightmares came back to me all at once leaving me shaking and paralyzed in fear. I didn’t even realize he had walked up on me until Jackson’s voice spoke from the steps. From the way the bathroom was located, you had to be almost fully up the stairs in order to see it. Jackson couldn’t actually see us, but I guess he heard our voices and knew we were close by.
Thank God for Jackson, he pulled me out of those horrible memories that were trying to swallow me whole. I yanked away from the hand Martin had placed on my shoulder. I didn’t even realize I had allowed him to get that close to me. Never again. I rushed down the stairs pass Jackson like the pits of hell were on my heels.
“Duck, what’s wrong with you?” Grams asked before I could make it to the door.
Everyone seemed to have calmed down from earlier. Papa was back in his chair. Grams and Eli were standing together whispering. Aunt Viv was on one side of the room staring daggers at Nita and her new man. Uncle Walter seemed to be consoling Devin, while Keisha, Keva and Aunt Jo stood together near the kitchen door. They all turned to look at me when I appeared.
I opened my mouth to tell Grams I was leaving, but the only sound that came out was a strangled cry.
I was in the midst of a full blown panic attack now. My lungs were constricting, the room was spinning and my heart was racing.