The fire dwindles down to a single flame as I stare, captivated as the mesmerizing array of colors change from orange to red to yellow. They blend, twist, and flicker into one soothing hue. The vibrant shades glint off my new bracelet secured around my wrist. I admire the beautiful piece of jewelry, shocked he bought this for me and kept it all this time. Regardless of what had happened between Riley and me in the past, he held out hope there would be an us again, a future. When I thought it was better to move on, he still had faith. A smile pulls at the corners of my lips. He never gave up.
As I grew up, my mother believed you had to have the biggest of the biggest, the best of the best. It was shoved down my throat that that’s how life was if you were wealthy. But as I grew older, I became my own person and found that I didn’t want or need the best of the best or the biggest of the biggest. I wanted simple. And this bracelet just goes to show that Riley knows me all too well.
I pull the blanket up to my shoulders before tucking my arms under the luxurious fabric. I look from the fire to the Christmas tree. This time next year I hope Riley is with me. The memories I hold from Christmas’ past aren’t the best. They were very robotic. As soon as I woke up it was shower, hair, makeup, and dress. Open gifts, pose for pictures, pretend to be the perfect political family, pretend to eat a perfect dinner my mother didn’t cook, and then on to a new day.
One year, I ran down the stairs in my pajamas, excited because I had thought Santa had visited, only for my childhood dreams to be crushed. My mother’s nasal sounding voice rang out from behind me as I stood in front of the lavish Christmas tree, crushed that there was no Santa gift. “Santa isn’t real, dear. Your father and I buy all this stuff for you. Why in the world would we let some imaginary figure take all the credit?”
After that, Christmas was just another day in our home. I never looked forward to it. No fond memories were made. It was my childhood, in a nutshell. A childhood I will make sure my children will have the opposite of.
I’m pulled back to reality as I realize I haven’t heard back from Dante about dinner.
Hey, are you busy? I text
Almost immediately, he replies. Nope. At work.
Instead of texting him back, I just call. “Hey,” I say as soon as he answers.
“You’re awake?” he jokes. A laugh rumbles deep from within him and into the phone.
“Yeah. I’m just sitting here in front of the fire and the Christmas tree. I never heard back from you about dinner.”
“Okay… hold on… you set up a Christmas tree?” he asks, deadpan as if the thought of me setting up a tree is ridiculous.
“Wow! Thanks for having so much faith in me!” I laugh.
“As for dinner, I’m free on Christmas.” Dante continues like I hadn’t interrupted him. “And it’s not about faith in you. I just don’t think that you put up a Christmas tree.”
In a way, Dante’s right. Not once have I ever put up a Christmas tree, but I think I could if I had to. Maybe?
“You’re right. I didn’t put up the tree. Jen and my friend Candace did.” Right now, I’m wishing that I had been here to help them as I admit the facts to my friend. “As for dinner on Christmas, Riley’s parents will be here. And if I know his mom like I think I do, I’m sure she’s going to cook, so you are more than welcome to join us. That is, if you’re not going to be with your family.”
“Mom is going to North Carolina with my aunt and uncle and won’t be back for a couple of days.” I hear him sigh into the phone. Dante’s a family oriented man. It’s going to be hard for him not to be with the people who mean the most in his life. “You know how it is. I can’t miss work. Somebody needs to run the place.” He chuckles. I’m sure Dave has secured his vacation for the holidays. I want to laugh with him, to make him feel better, but I don’t find it funny.
“That’s so fucked up.” A surge of anger courses through my veins. Anger for him having to do the job for a man and not be paid for the position. Anger that he has to miss out on a holiday of togetherness. Anger for the fact that he just accepts it. “You should be able to be with your family for the holidays, Dante,” I state, and even though I’m angry, I feel protective of him in the same sense. He’s my friend and has always been there for me. Everyone is always there for me. It’s about time I do the same for them.
“It’s really no big deal, Kelsey.”
“It is a big deal.” I lean forward, the blanket falling around my waist as I prop my elbows up on my knees. “And to be honest, it pisses me off. You’re like a brother to me, and I’m tired of seeing Dave take advantage of you.”
“I know, and I love you too, but I need this job,” he sighs.
“You’re so much better than a cook at a diner. You can do so much better.”
“I’m glad you think so.” The disbelief in his tone pains me. He thinks this is all he’ll ever amount to, but he couldn’t be more wrong. Dante doesn’t see the potential he has, and it makes me sad for him.
“I do, and you should, too. You don’t see all the potential you hold, but I do, and I know you’d be amazing at anything you put your mind to.”
“There she is.” His statement takes me aback. I’m trying to be sincere here and that’s all he can say.
“Huh?” I ask, perplexed.
“There’s that fire I miss.” A gradual smile takes over my face. “I thought I’d lost you for a minute there. Hold on to your fire, Kels, and you’ll be just fine.”
I shake my head at his cunning ways of deflecting. “You can avoid the subject all you want. I can see through you too, you know?”
“Then we’re one in the same, aren’t we? We both have this fire in us, but sometimes it dwindles down into a flickering flame. All we need is a little reminder of who we really are and what we’re really capable of in order to fan that flame.”
Dante’s words strike a match within me. We’re both strong individuals, but sometimes things in life tear us down. Sometimes, all it takes are a few reminders for us to remember who we are and what we’re capable of, to build us back up. Riley’s leaving has left me a mess, but with Dante, Jen, Candace, and even Riley’s encouragement, I’m beginning to get back to the person I used to be, the woman Riley fell in love with.
“All right. I’m dying to know why your friends set up your tree?” he asks, pulling me back to the here and now.
I sigh as I lean back into the corner of the chaise lounge. My hands spread out against the smooth material of the blanket. “They think I’ve been acting like a Scrooge, I guess. I’ve been taking things pretty hard since Riley left. It’s not just the holidays. It’s every day.”
“That’s understandable. Not being with the one you love is hard, but if anyone can survive this deployment, it will be the two of you.”
“I was so used to being around him all the time. I mean, I practically lived with him by the time he deployed, and now he’s just… gone.” I shake my head even though he can’t see me, and I look back at the fire. “I realize how lucky I am. I have FaceTime and Skype, and he can call from his cell phone. I talk to him every day, well, mostly, but it’s just not the same as him being here.”
“You’re not thinking of giving up on him, are you?” Dante’s question sucks the air right out of my lungs. I can see how he’d think that. As much as I’ve moped around, and with my reactions in the past, running from my problems, his curiosity is warranted. But now, I wonder if other people think the same thing?
“No. God, no!” I almost shout into the phone. My heart slams against my ribcage at just the thought of never being with Riley again. “After everything we’ve gone through to get to where we are now, leaving him isn’t an option. He’s my world, Dante. I can’t envision a life without him.”
He laughs at my dramatic response. “So then, stop being a baby about it and show everyone that you can do this. If you’re really serious about Riley, about being his wife one day, being by his side, then you need to prove it.”
“You’re r
ight.” I smile as my heart rate begins to return to normal. “When did you become so insightful?” I laugh and it feels like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders. Leave it to Dante to tell me like it is.
“I’m a very perceptive man,” he counters.
“True. You’ve always have been.”
“It’s not hard to see through someone when they wear their heart on their sleeve and their emotions in their actions.”
“There you go again,” I tease. “Dante?” I ask in a hushed tone.
“What’s up?”
“Thank you for believing in me as much as you do.” My voice is soft, and I hope that he can hear the sincerity behind my words.
“You’re the second strongest woman I know. Sometimes you just need a little shove towards the mirror so you can see it for yourself.”
I snicker into the phone.. “If I’m the second strongest woman, then who’s the first?”
“My mom,” he states, and I laugh. Some men will always be a momma’s boy.
“Are you sure you don’t mind me slumming your Christmas dinner?” His voice echoes with doubt. When will he understand I want him here?
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not slumming, and you, Jen, and Candace are like my family. I want Riley’s parents to meet you guys.”
“All right then,” he concedes. “I’m excited to meet the folks, but look, I gotta go. Text me what time dinner is on Christmas and the directions to your place, and I’ll be there.”
“Will do.”
“Talk to you later.” He hangs up, and I drop the phone to my lap. The rectangular shape shifts awkwardly between my fingers as I flip it back and forth.
The shimmering white lights of the Christmas tree draw my attention. Right now, this house might be empty and lonely, but by Christmas, it will be filled with family and friends. It will be filled with love and happiness. For the first time in forever, I’m actually looking forward to Christmas.
I look around at all of my hard work. The curtains are drawn shut, cloaking the downstairs in darkness. I’ve dead bolted the front door and put the chain on it. That way, my two friends, in case they decide to show up, won’t walk in on something they can’t unsee. A soft illuminating glow bounces off the walls from the candles that I’ve lit and placed throughout the living room. It may only be Christmas Eve, but it’s almost Christmas for Riley. I’ve re-lit the fireplace and turned the lights on the Christmas tree on.
I can’t give Riley anything tangible for Christmas, but I can give him something.
The alarm from my phone went off early this morning. As I shut the alarm off, I saw a missed message from Riley.
I will be calling you at noon. Love you.
After I got off the phone with Dante last night, a brilliant idea came to me. When I got out of the shower this morning, I rifled around my underwear drawer and stumbled across a note. Immediately, I knew Jen had put it there last night.
Kels,
Hanging in the closet in the guest bedroom is a little something I never got to take off of you. I had never seen anyone look as stunning as you did that night. I hope to see you in it again one day.
I love you.
Just when I think he is out of surprises, he proves me wrong. I race to the spare bedroom, throw closet doors open, and to my surprise, there hangs a garment bag with the words Armani printed on it. I know it is the same dress I wore to the benefit so many months ago.
I check myself over one more time in the downstairs bathroom. The purple satin is a breathtaking contrast against my skin. The fitted bodice hugs my curves. It’s a strapless dream with a sweetheart neckline that flows to the delicate fabric that crosses over one side to gather on my left hip. The smooth material falls in waves from my waist down and it separates an inch above my knee. My long tresses hang loosely, in soft waves, down and over my shoulders. I do my best to replicate my makeup from the night of the benefit. I give myself the smoky eye effect and swipe on some eyeliner and mascara. A light pink color tinges my cheeks and my lips are brilliantly shaded in red. It’s not as good as having it professionally done, but it’ll do.
I hurry out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. I slip my hand into an oven mitt and reach into the oven to pull out the little dinner I prepared. The scents of lemon, herbs, broccoli, and sweet potatoes waft through the air. My mouth salivates with anticipation. Thank you Food Network and your recipes.
As I carry the heated plate into the living room, my computer begins to ring, and I can’t help but smile.
“Hey,” I answer with a smile as I accept the call.
“He… Wow.” Riley sits behind the camera in his flight uniform with wide eyes as he takes in my appearance.
“Merry Christmas, babe.” I adjust the computer on the cocktail table before dropping down onto my knees to see him better.
He smiles that heart-stopping smile that I love so much. “You look absolutely gorgeous.”
“Thank you,” I reply softly, abashed.
“I see you’ve found your dress?” A mischievous glint highlights his blue irises.
“I did and,” I lift my wrist to show him the bracelet, “I found this, too.”
“Do you like it?”
I smile and nod at him. “I love it.” My fingers skim over the diamonds lining my left wrist. “It’s beautiful. Why didn’t you give it to me the night of the benefit?”
Riley leans back in his chair and shrugs. “You know me. I don’t do cliché. I was waiting to give it to you afterward, but…” He trails off. I know where he’s going with this. But I left, and he never got the opportunity. “So, tell me why you’re all dressed up.”
I look away from his penetrating stare and suddenly feel shy. Why I’d feel like that, I have no idea. Riley knows me inside out, better than anyone else. “It’s Christmas for you.”
“Almost,” he interjects.
“You know what I mean.” I wave my hand in the air dismissively. “With the time difference and all, I wanted to be able to spend it with you before it got too late.”
“So you dressed up for me?” He leans into the camera, and I can tell he’s trying to get a better look at me.
“I did a little more than that.” I turn the computer around, letting him see what I’ve done in the house, and when I look back at his face, he’s smiling at me. “I thought we could have a little romantic dinner.”
“I’m sorry I’m not dressed for the occasion.” Riley looks down at himself with his brows furrowed, and I can tell he feels bad.
“Babe?” He looks up at me. “This is for you. I wanted to do this for you, not for me.”
‘I’m sorry I can’t eat with you, babe. The chow hall here is already closed. If I had known.” He looks away from the camera with a sour look on his face.
“Look at me, please.” When Riley’s eyes are back on me again, I continue, “Don’t feel bad, okay? I can’t give you anything for Christmas, but I can help make a memory you’ll never forget. Let me do that for you.”
He shakes his head and sighs. “God, I miss you.”
“And I miss you.”
“What did you think of the Christmas tree?” he asks and I can’t help but laugh.
“It’s beautiful. But I think I have two very sneaky friends and a very conspiring boyfriend. What would y’all have done if I had come home early?”
“You could have just helped them set it up.”
“Next year, promise me, we’ll get to set everything up together?” I ask, even though I know it’s unfair for me to ask something like that of him. In this life, when duty calls, you have to go, and no holiday, birthday, or special occasion is going to stop that. But just to satisfy me, Riley makes a promise that we both know he can’t keep.
“Now show me that dress again.” I do as asked of me. Standing, I move my food to the side and step away from the camera so that he can see all of me. “Now turn around. I want to see all of it.” With his finger pointed up, he asks me to spin. I hear the huskines
s in his tone, and I can tell this video date is going to go exactly as I had planned, even if Riley is the one in control.
Reaching down, I lift the front of my dress before slowly turning so he can see the back. I peek at him over my shoulder with what I hope is a sultry grin. “Do you like it?”
“Oh, baby, very much,” he groans. “Will you do something for me?” he asks. “Will you let me love you the only way I can right now?”
Scavenge (Smoldering #1.5) Page 7