by Alice Ward
I leaned close, and she hissed as my cock rubbed over her still pink bottom. I cupped her breasts, squeezing them gently as my chest rested flush against her back.
Our eyes met in the window’s hazy reflection, and something tender within me stirred. I kissed her shoulder, her neck, her ear, keeping my lips busy so that I wouldn’t say something I couldn’t take back.
Hot silver split the air as I sank into her from behind, taking it slow, wanting everything I was feeling to last, but listening to her moan as I entered her nearly caused me to unravel.
Her fingers flexed against the glass. “Please, Kane. I need you.”
I needed her too.
As her body accepted mine, I covered her hands with my palms, linking our fingers together. I closed my eyes as I reached the end of her, but opened them again so I could watch her reflection.
I moved slowly, feeling everything as her pussy grasped and clung to my cock. The harder the storm raged, the slower and more deliberately I moved.
And when I came, it was me who was nearly crying. Me, who was filled with so much emotion I wasn’t sure where it came from or how to let it go.
So, I just held her against the window, and we watched the city until the storm faded and the night was peaceful again.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Eliana
For an eighty-three-year-old woman with a tumor lodged deep in her brain, Evelyn “Nana” Steele was a force to be reckoned with when it came to shopping. She might be as slow as a turtle riding on a snail’s back, but she knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it.
Ever.
“What do you mean we can’t have five hundred peonies in November? What the hell are hothouses for? I’m contacting Saundra…” It was cute to watch her gnarled fingers tapping at her iPhone as she called her personal assistant.
I’d been listening to Nana argue with the flower lady for over an hour now. The moment I’d told her and Marsha that I’d love peonies because they were my grandmother’s favorite flower, Nana was on a mission to find them. Not a bouquet’s worth, but hundreds.
“You’ll feel your Mamaw surrounding you on your special day,” she had told me when she insisted the altar and pews also be decorated with them.
Gentle hands came down on my shoulders, and I looked up from where I was sitting. “You holding up alright?” Marsha smiled, enveloping me in the warm, motherly aura that exuded from her.
“She’s a mess,” I said with a laugh as Nana barked orders at Saundra to find my favorite flower. “I really didn’t think I would cause this much trouble.”
Marsha’s hands moved from my shoulders to my hair, and I closed my eyes as she stroked her fingers down the length. “Trouble? Are you kidding? I haven’t seen Nana so excited about anything in a long time. You, my dear, are making her last few months more special than you’ll ever realize.” She leaned down and kissed my cheek. “For that, I’ll always be grateful.”
Emotion boiled in my chest. In my throat. In my nose.
How simple to have a mother kiss my cheek, to stroke my hair, to touch me at all. Why couldn’t my own mother do this? Was I really that unlovable to her?
“Your hair is the most incredible color,” she was saying as her fingers continued their soothing movement. “Red, but not really. Blonde, but not really. So striking against your fair complexion and blue eyes. Maybe someday, when you and Kane have children, your babies will inherit your coloring. It’s so exquisite.”
I couldn’t help it. As hard as I blinked. As hard as I swallowed. As hard as I tried to force them back, the tears came in a gush. When the first sob escaped, Marsha’s arms wrapped around me, and I found myself crying with my face pressed into her neck. She just let me hold onto her, and she held onto me, murmuring little soothing noises.
“It’s okay, sweet girl. Get it out.” She patted my back as if I was a most precious baby.
Another set of hands were on me, and I felt Nana hugging me from behind. “Don’t worry, dear one. I’ll find those flowers if it kills me.”
I laughed, and the little sound broke the icy grip of grief and regret from around my heart, and with a big sniff and a swipe of my sleeve across my face, I felt better.
Marsha kissed my forehead as I pulled away, embarrassed now for losing control so completely. “I’m sorry,” I said, still wiping my eyes.
“Nonsense,” Marsha said, drying my face with a tissue, “we females need a good cry every now and again. And considering you’ve just gotten engaged and we’re practically running you down the altar at breakneck speed, you deserve a good one more than most.”
Looking into the green eyes so much like her son’s, a pang of guilt stabbed at me. How could I continue to lie to someone this kind, this loving? Then my gaze shifted to Nana, who was peering at me with worry behind her eyes. How could I tell the truth?
And the real truth was, I didn’t want it to be a lie.
I wanted to be married to Kane.
I wanted to be part of this family.
I wanted to have my own daughter someday so I could comb her hair with my fingers and kiss her cheek, letting her know every moment of her life that she was loved. Wanted. Perfect exactly the way she was.
“Thank you, Marsha, I—”
“Mom,” she cut in. “Please call me Mom.”
My throat threatened to close again, and I blinked hard, pressing the tissues she’d handed me to my eyes. “Thank you… Mom.” The word felt unfamiliar on my tongue and so very wonderful as it rang in the air between this incredible woman and me.
Nana clapped her hands. “Enough of this. Let’s go shopping for a dress. Your appointment at the bridal boutique is in twenty minutes. March!”
With Mom’s arm tucked through my right elbow and Nana’s tucked through the left, we headed out to the limo Mom had hired for the day.
The women had practically moved to New York, having rented a penthouse they called “wedding central” in the same building as Kane’s. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate each time I looked at the stacks of books and charts and samples on the dining room table. I had no idea so many details went into a wedding.
But I loved it too. Although they offered a strong guiding hand, they never made a final decision without my blessing. The last few days had been a whirl of activities — venue, guest lists, colors, cake. I’d tried on designer dresses that cost enough to feed a third world country. And I remembered very little of it.
I hadn’t yet found the dress. Although there had been many I would have been perfectly happy with, Nana insisted I try on dresses until I knew. At the boutique, we were welcomed with champagne and chocolate-dipped strawberries. The silk-covered walls and gauzy ceiling gave the shop a dreamy quality as chandeliers twinkled all around.
When Nana had made my appointment over the phone, she’d told them of all the things I didn’t want. “If there is a poofy sleeve in sight, we’re walking straight out. Hear me?”
Marsha — Mom — had only patted my hand and whispered, “You’ll get used to it. If you need me to intervene or you feel overwhelmed, just give me a double wink, and I’ll come running.”
I laughed. “I don’t think it will get that bad.”
Mom lifted her eyebrow. “Just wait.”
“So, I just double wink? One eye or both?”
“Two winks, right eye, and I’ll come running. If I’m not nearby, text me with a simple ‘x’ and that will be my signal from a distance.”
I looked at her, my respect growing even more. “That’s a good system. Have you used it before?”
“A lot. It’s the system I used with the kids as they grew up. You know how it is, you have a friend who’s begging to spend the night, but you don’t really want them to. Or maybe some peers are pressuring you to go to a party that you know is bad.”
I nodded, though I really didn’t know. Alize couldn’t have been bothered enough for me to have a friend over, and I wasn’t super popular and didn’t go out much.
>
“So, as Kane or the girls were asking me, I’d watch their eyes. If they gave me a wink-wink, I knew they wanted me to intervene or say no.” She smiled. “It was really funny with Kristen because, the little drama queen that she was, she would ask if a friend could come over, then give me a wink-wink. When I said no, she’d fly to a ‘you’re ruining my life’ tantrum. That girl. I thought she was going to be the death of me.”
“What about Kane? Did he wink-wink often?”
Mom rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? If he didn’t want to do something, he just told you straight to your face. He was always super honest like that. One time when he was little, maybe first or second grade, I got a call from his teacher.”
I covered my mouth with my hand. “Oh no.”
“Oh yes. So the teacher says, ‘Mrs. Steele, I’m concerned because Kane has told me that you have a great deal of marijuana at your house.’”
I gasped. “You’re kidding. Did you?”
She shot me a look. “Of course not, but she swore that Kane insisted there were loads of it everywhere. Well, I insisted she come visit my house right then, since school had just let out. I picked Kane up from school, and the teacher rode with me so she couldn’t say that I had coerced him into anything. When we got there, I asked Kane to show the teacher where the marijuana was, but he just looked at me funny.”
“And…”
“And the teacher jumped in. She said, ‘Kane, you told me you had weed here. Lots of it. Can you show me?’” Marsha laughed at the memory. “Well, Kane grabbed her hand and marched her to the backyard. And pointed at a weed in the garden. A weed next to the pool. A weed growing beside the fence.”
I snorted and slapped my thigh. “That little stinker.”
Mom wiped her eyes. “I know. But he’d been telling her the truth. The teacher was, of course, mortified. We didn’t have any trouble with her after that.”
***
Staring at myself in the mirror, I felt like a princess. This gown was certainly gorgeous. Simple, just the way I liked it. Elegant.
“Next!” Nana yelled. “Her eyes didn’t sparkle.”
The saleswoman, Valerie, showed her teeth in what would pass as a smile. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered to her as she led me back to the dressing room for the third time.
Valerie’s smile was more genuine now. “Your grandmother is right. When your eyes sparkle, it will be the right one. We’ve just got to find it.”
Two more dresses got a “Next!” immediately. Turning on my heel before I reached the mirror, I didn’t even bother to look.
We were down to the last one, when Valerie snapped her fingers. “Let’s get you into this one, then I’m going to run to the back. We have a vintage gown that I hadn’t even considered.” She met my eyes. “You have an old soul spirit around you, so maybe…” She lifted a shoulder. “It’s worth looking at, I think.”
Waiting as she buttoned the back, I already knew this wasn’t the dress either. Not that it wasn’t beautiful. It just wasn’t… it. Taking a deep breath, I thought happy thoughts and smiled my very brightest as I walked through the dressing room door and into the room of many mirrors.
“Next.”
Back in the dressing room, my phone pinged. Since I was stuck in the dress until Valerie came back, I dug it out of my purse.
Kane: How’s it going?
Just seeing his face on my screen filled me with little butterflies, and I pressed my thighs together to keep them from escaping.
Me: I’m standing here in a dress with a million buttons. Want to come help me escape?
Kane: Only if I can use my teeth.
Hmm… he could use his teeth on me anywhere and had already done so.
Me: You’re making me horny.
Kane: You’re always horny.
Me: Is that a problem?
Kane: Yeah. It’s a big problem because I’m not there to fuck you right now.
Me: Later?
Kane: Absolutely. Do I get your ass tonight?
Me: No!
Kane: Today’s opposite day, so yay for me.
I rolled my eyes. He was such a boy sometimes.
Me: Maybe I can have your ass tonight? I can grab a strap-on while I’m out. Do you prefer purple or red?
Kane: Har-de-har-har. Did you take a Benadryl?
I smiled. I loved that he remembered little details like that. Loved how he seemed to really listen and cared enough to store what I said away.
Me: Maybe. I’m drinking champagne and eating chocolate-dipped strawberries. I’d like to dip your cock in chocolate and lick it off.
Kane: Where are you? I’ll be there in five.
I laughed out loud that time.
Me: Sorry. Eagle ears Nana is just outside.
Kane: You sure know how to deflate a guy.
Me: Lucky for you, I know how to inflate him again. I’ll show you later.
Kane: Promise?
Me: Promise.
Kane: Before or after I take your ass?
Me: Nice try, mister. You’ll need a penile reduction before that happens.
Kane: What? I think Godzilla just had a heart attack. Seriously. Can you come perform CPR?
I snorted.
Me: Godzilla needs to take a Benadryl.
Kane: He’s pouting.
There was a soft knock on the door, and Valerie popped in. I turned my back for her to start on the many buttons.
Me: Gotta go try on another dress. Tell Godzilla I’ll make it up to him later.
Kane: Godzilla roared his approval.
Me: Good luck tonight. Hit the ball… hard.
Kane: Bye baby. See ya laters.
Still smiling, I tucked the phone away as the constricting dress began to loosen.
“You seem happy,” Valerie said, meeting my gaze in the small mirror.
“That was my fiancé. He makes me happy.”
She smiled. “I can see that. I hope what the two of you have now lasts a lifetime.”
I stepped out of the dress, glad that I was now looking down so she couldn’t see my face. A lifetime sounded wonderful. I pushed down that tingle of hope. Kane was with me now because he felt sorry for me when he saw me with my mother. Then fate had a moment of humor and caused us to be engaged. But Kane hadn’t said a word about making what we have more permanent. Of course, neither had I.
Why?
“What do you think?”
I’d been so absorbed in my thoughts that I hadn’t paid attention as Valerie took the next dress from its bag.
Oh.
Wow.
The lace had aged, giving it a champagne effect that only time, not humans, could lovingly administer. Reaching out a hand, I traced my fingers over the delicate silk straps.
“Is it really my size?”
Valerie smiled. “Yes, it is.”
I felt myself holding my breath as I stepped into it, and Valerie pulled it in place. There was no back of the gown to speak of, so it didn’t take her long to close it up.
I wasn’t breathing. Neither was the kind saleswoman, I realized, as I turned to the mirror… and fell in love.
It was perfect. If the image of my perfect gown could have been plucked from my mind and handcrafted into something even more extraordinary, this would be it.
Smiling gently, Valerie lifted a matching veil and attached it to the back of my head. It was also simple, elegant. When I looked in the mirror again, I felt complete.
Neither Valerie nor I said a word as I stepped from the dressing room and toward Nana and Mom. They didn’t say a word either.
Stepping up on the dais, I looked at myself and heard Nana whisper loudly, “Told you. Sparkle.” Louder, she said. “Wrap that sucker up.”
***
The next morning, I found myself humming as I chopped celery in Kane’s enormous kitchen, chrome and granite sparkling all around me. I was making food bags for my babies and their humans, and doing so brought me incredible joy. Even though I was farther a
way from them now, it was important for me to take care of them all.
I had been thrilled and touched when Kane came home one day with an armload of canvas Beasts bags for the men. Inside them were Beasts blankets, hoodies, and warm woolen hats. There were also thermoses I could use to give them warm drinks or soup when it turned cold.
Today was thick, homemade chicken salad sandwiches with carrots and grapes. A bottle of Ensure for extra protein and two bottles of water each was accompanied by a couple of fruit and granola bars I baked for them to snack on through the rest of the day. The doggies got high-quality dog food and a treat. I only did their flea meds at the beginning of each month, so there wasn’t anything special today.
It wasn’t nearly all that they needed, but it was a start. When I was able to do more, I would.
I groaned when my phone rang, and I looked at the screen, knowing I shouldn’t answer but did it anyway.
There was no greeting, just… “And when exactly did you plan to tell your own mother you were getting married? And in a few weeks, no less? Are you pregnant?”
Panic constricted my throat. I was still absorbing the idea of a wedding myself. I wasn’t ready to talk about it to her.
“How did you find out?” I managed to ask, knowing immediately it was the wrong thing to say.
“What do you mean find out? Why were you hiding such happy news from me?”
Because I don’t want this to become the Alize show.
“No, that’s not what I mean. It’s just that we decided just a few days ago. I can’t imagine how the word has spread that fast.”
“New York City, young lady, is the biggest small town in the world. If one person knows a thing, everyone knows that same thing. But that’s not the point…” she said through gritted teeth, “you really should be more considerate. I raised you better than that.”
I blew out a long breath. “I was waiting to share the news personally. I’m sure you would have preferred that to a text.”
“I would have preferred to hear it from you immediately instead of being blindsided.” She sighed dramatically. “I labored with you for…”
…sixteen pain filled hours, then raised you on your own after your father died so suddenly. Blah, blah, blah.