by Alice Ward
I did hate him, at least a part of me did.
“He has a problem, it’s a disease. He never meant for any of this to happen. He’d never put me in harm’s way,” she pleaded. “Or my mom. He loves us.”
But he did put her in harm’s way. Maybe he didn’t mean to, but he did.
“I feel so dirty,” she said softly.
“C’mon,” I said, extending my hand to her. She was trembling as I helped her from the bed. Her body quivered as my hands unfastened her bra, letting it fall to the floor. I pulled her in close, her breasts pressed tightly against my chest as I kissed her softly on the neck. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Kat looked so fragile under the water, her face lifting to the stream to wash away the tears. I undressed to my boxers and stepped into the shower with her. She needed me to hold her. I needed to hold her.
Tiny pieces of gravel fell from her hair as I ran shampoo through the strands with my fingers. Her back pressed against my chest as I washed the scrapes on her arms and her knees. I thought I heard her mumble something, something that sounded like, “I love you.”
My heart swelled and ached for her as I wrapped a large towel around her body. She held up her arms, letting me wrap her tightly in the cotton, her eyes staring into my soul with nothing but love. I loved her too. I didn’t say it. But I did love her.
“Don’t leave me,” she whispered.
I shook my head and smiled. There was no way I’d leave her now. “I’ll sneak out early in the morning.”
It felt natural in the bed beside her, our bodies fitting so perfectly together. I stayed awake, watching her struggle with sleep for at least an hour before my own eyes closed and I drifted off.
This was exactly where I wanted to be.
Where I needed to be.
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
Katrina
The small man’s face, his hands, his wicked smile, pulled me from my rest. I slid up in bed, propping myself on the pillow against my headboard. Todd was still here. I couldn’t believe he’d actually stayed. Of course he did. I practically begged him not to leave me.
Todd Morris had a huge heart, and I’d broken it. I didn’t deserve him comforting me like this. He didn’t deserve to be pulled into my crazy world.
God, how I loved this man lying beside me.
It didn’t matter. Love wasn’t enough. We needed trust, but that was something we’d never have. Not after all the lies I told. I knew he'd heard me tell him I loved him last night, even though I said it softly. He didn’t respond. So, that was it. He didn’t love me. He felt sorry for me. Poor little Katrina, scared, roughed up, and shaking in his arms. That was all this was. He was too kind to let me suffer.
My eyes traced the outline of his masculine form under my sheets. Parts of my body still reacted at the memory of how he felt inside of me. One last time, to say goodbye forever? No. My heart couldn’t take the pain of losing him all over again.
I sighed as I realized the horror my life had become. My dad was still responsible for coming up with nearly a million dollars. If he didn’t, we both could end up dead. I knew part of my fate was to be raped by the small man with cold, dark eyes. Maybe the large one too before I was thrown to the bottom of the river with weights tied to my ankles. I saw enough gangster movies to know women didn’t usually just get shot in the head. They were played with first, and that man, he'd made his intentions clear enough with his dirty mouth against my skin.
Todd’s eyes opened slowly, his lips parted with a soft yawn, and then he rolled to his side. “Good morning,” he said through a huge yawn.
“Good morning.”
“How are you feeling?” he asked, laying his hand to my thigh. I twitched, my body responding to the familiar touch.
“Thank you for everything,” I sighed.
His hand pulled away. He slid up on the bed, sitting to face me. “I’m glad you called me, Kat.”
I knew that was another one of his kindnesses. I had to let him off the hook. He couldn’t be so cruel as to walk away from me now. I didn’t want his pity. He didn’t respond to my declaration of love last night. He didn’t love me. He pitied me.
“I have a lot to deal with today. I appreciate you taking care of me, but I will be fine from here,” I said, my fingers twisting together.
His eyes narrowed as he stared at me with confusion, and… what was that, hurt?
“What do you plan to do?” he asked sternly.
“I shouldn’t have dragged you into this mess, Todd. It’s my personal life, and it’s best we keep things strictly professional between us,” I said with an assertiveness that even I found too cold.
He pushed the sheets back, stood from the bed, and began gathering his clothes. I watched as he dressed hastily, and yes, there it was again… hurt in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” I said.
“No. You’re right. I don’t belong in your personal life. You made that really clear the first time around, why would it be any different now?” he snapped, sliding on his jeans and rushing from the bedroom.
I ran after him, the sheet my only cover. “Todd, wait,” I called out, deciding my heart couldn’t take the pain of knowing I’d hurt him again. I didn’t mean to. I'd only wanted to let him off the hook, release him from his act of kindness.
He slung open the door to reveal Lana standing in the doorway. “Good morning,” she snarled and took a step back, waving at the hallway. “Don’t let me stop you from your walk of shame,” she hissed.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Todd defended. He looked back at me, remorse in his eyes.
“It’s okay,” I said softly, then gave him a small smile.
He nodded and strode out into the hallway, closing the door quietly behind him. Lana laughed as the door clicked shut, staring at me with judgmental eyes. I felt vulnerable in only my sheet but had nowhere to escape. She was in my living room, sizing me up. It was obvious she was enjoying my discomfort as she made herself comfortable on my couch.
“Looks like having a rich daddy isn’t enough for you. You want it all,” she gloated in her glory.
“It’s not what you think, Lana.”
“Oh, it’s exactly what I think. You’re never pleased, little Kitty-Kat. Are you? All your daddy’s money, all Rhett’s attention, now you want to work your way through the players one by one?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I snapped.
“You’re a little attention whore, aren’t you? I should’ve known by your posts. All those pictures of you surrounded by rock stars. Were you their encore?” she laughed.
“You’re way out of line,” I said sternly.
“No, you’re out of line. And now, you’re out of a job, my sweet Kit-Kat. I don’t keep whores on the payroll.”
I was stunned. Fired? She'd just fired me? Could she even do that?
“I’ll book you on the next flight to New York. You’ll need to clear out of the player condo within twenty-four hours.” She stood from her position, smiled, and walked toward the door.
“Oh, and Kat, don’t waste any time with goodbyes. I’ll let the team know you're gone and why, of course.”
She shut the door behind her, leaving me to stew in my anger, my humiliation, and my desperation. I needed this job. Needed Todd. It was all I had.
My phone lit up, my mother’s face showing on the screen. I fought back tears and picked it up, answering in my strongest voice. “Honey, are you okay?” her warm voice opened the floodgates, and tears began streaming down my cheeks.
I could barely speak between sobs but managed to utter, “I just got fired.”
I listened to my mother’s “everything’s going to be okay” speech, not feeling as irritated as before. I needed to believe it. I had to believe. If I didn’t, the alternative was more than I could bear.
“How’s Daddy?” I asked, wiping my tears and clearing my throat.
“He’s doing okay. You know Bobby, he’s too proud to admit he’s hurting.”
> “They missed one finger he said, the middle one,” she laughed. I laughed too. It felt good, even though I knew it’d probably be the last time I did for a while.
A text appeared on my phone from Lana, telling me a car would be ready in an hour. Fuck, she didn’t waste any time. Why did she hate me so bad anyway? It didn’t matter. Besides, without Todd in my life, there was nothing here for me now.
“I’ll be back in New York in a few hours,” I told my mother, and then gave her the information that was sent to my phone. “I’ll call you and let you know when I confirm the flight home. I have a few personal items to pack at the condo.”
“I’ll be there to pick you up,” she promised and hung up the phone.
That scared little girl inside of me was grateful to be sent home to Mommy and Daddy. But the woman in me, the one who loved this job, the one Todd had awoken, hated that I was crawling back to my parents.
I packed my suitcase and gave one last look around the condo I’d called home for the last several weeks. The large bed in the center of the room was my focal point, remembering Todd’s body tangled around mine. I hated that the last memory in that bed was his eyes filled with such hurt it made my heart break.
My thumb slid across my phone, gliding effortlessly to Todd’s number. Should I call him? Would he want to know what happened? That I’d gotten fired?
I shuddered at the thought of Lana telling them why I left. What would she tell them? Would she out Todd? Throw Rhett under the bus and accuse us of fucking? She was vengeful, filled with hate and jealousy. Anything was possible with that crazy bitch. She’d been out to get me since day one, so let her say whatever she wanted. None of it mattered anyway. Did it?
I settled my thumb across Todd’s number as tears filled my eyes. No. I needed to let him go.
CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN
Todd
“Where’d you take off to last night so quick?” Kane asked during practice.
I didn’t want to share Katrina’s personal business with him, or anyone for that matter. My anger toward him had faded, though, knowing she'd called me and not him. “I was worn out,” I lied.
“Darla was pissed,” he laughed, slapping me on the back.
“Darla?” I asked.
“The bartender. She said you ditched her.”
I hadn’t even bothered to learn her name. One-night stands were never my style. She was a crutch for my heart. When Kat called, she just wasn’t necessary anymore. “I left her a nice tip.”
“I thought maybe you snuck off to see Kat.” His smile was genuine.
“Nah,” I lied again.
Lana took a seat in the stands next to Rhett, but there was no sign of Katrina. I was distracted, letting balls slide past me, missing my opportunity to crush a third base steal, and even called several bad pitches. “What the fuck?” Calvin yelled from the mound.
“Sorry, man,” I shrugged.
I was glad it was over. The day wasn’t getting any better, and with every passing moment that Kat didn’t show up, my mind raced with reasons why. Had those guys come back? Found her in the condo alone and taken her off somewhere?
The autograph signing after practice was Katrina’s event, one she’d set up for every practice. She never missed an opportunity to snap shots of the players, go live on Facebook or send out Tweets about the interaction between us and the fans. But she wasn’t there.
Lana took her place, smiling, and greeting fans. “Where’s Katrina?” I asked Lana as she snapped a shot of Ace and Kane with a young boy wearing a Beasts shirt.
“I’m not her babysitter,” she said with a bitchy smile.
I reached into my pocket, dialed her number. It went straight to a recording that told me her voicemail was not set up. What the fuck? It was set up, I’d left her messages plenty of times.
My thumb rolled over to Facebook, figuring she may have left some sign of her whereabouts if she left willingly. Her account was gone. Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, even Pinterest, all gone. It was like she never existed.
I searched Google for her name, nothing for her came up, but an article on Bobby did. Headlines spilled the beans about his gambling addiction, how he'd lost everything and was living in a small condo after his possessions were either sold or repossessed. How did these details hit the press this way? Katrina must be devastated.
“I’ve gotta go,” I told Kane, telling him to cover for me if Rhett came back.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I’ll call you if not,” I promised, and then rushed toward the parking lot to catch the next shuttle.
My heart raced as I ran into the condo building, catching the elevator before it closed. Katrina’s door was locked, and no matter how loud I beat, she didn’t answer.
Back downstairs at the front desk, I pleaded with the round man with white hair to open her door. “It’s an emergency. I need to know she’s okay,” I told him.
“I’m sorry, sir. There’s nothing I can do. You can call 911 if it’s an emergency, and the cops can order me to open it,” he said coolly.
“Is there a problem?” a woman wearing a manager tag asked.
“Yes, I need in Katrina Delaney’s room,” I told her.
She punched a few keys on her computer and looked up at me with a strange smile. “I’m sorry, sir. She checked out this morning.”
“Checked out? Where did she go?”
“I’m afraid I have no idea.”
I walked out the front doors and slid down to the curb with my head in my hands. “You alright, man?” I looked up to see Kane standing over me.
“She’s gone,” I sighed.
“Who? Katrina?” he asked curiously.
“Yeah. She checked out this morning they said.”
The shuttle pulled up, and the guys all started piling out. Calvin, Ace, Luke, and Blake all walked over, each asking what was going on. When I explained the situation, that Katrina was gone, none of them seemed too concerned. I still couldn’t tell them why I was worried so badly, not without betraying her trust. They already knew about Bobby, but not her run in with his loan sharks.
“There’s Lana, let’s ask her,” Calvin said, moving toward the black car that held the bitch.
I got up and walked over as she was getting out of the car. Calvin cornered her, asking about Katrina. “If you must know, she was fired,” Lana snapped.
“Fired? For what?” Kane asked.
“Fraternizing with a player for starters,” she said, her eyes glaring in my direction.
This wasn’t news to any of the guys, not after her confession in the bar. “That’s bullshit, and you know it,” Ace scoffed.
“Oh, it’s not bullshit. I can assure you of that, can’t I Todd?” She smirked in my direction.
“Where did she go?” I demanded.
She let out a long sigh. “I have no idea where she went, or what her plans were. I suppose she was off to find another playmate, one with money, I’m sure.”
I’d never wanted to punch a girl so badly in my life. With the exception of the time my sister painted my fingernails pink while I was sleeping.
“You need to worry about fulfilling your contract, not Katrina Delaney. The way you were playing out there today, I’d say you’re better off without the distraction of that whore.”
“What whore?” Rhett asked, stepping up behind Lana.
She seemed nervous at his presence, no longer soaking up the glory of destroying poor Kat. “I’m sorry. I was going to tell you earlier. I had to let Katrina Delaney go today.”
Rhett’s eyes filled with fury, his chin tightened, and for a moment I thought he was going to hit her himself. “Who gave you the authority to fire Katrina, or anyone for that matter?” he snapped, his tone icy and stern.
“I caught a player in her room this morning.” Lana’s smile of vengeance returned.
“I don’t give a fuck who was in her room. What right did you have in firing her?”
L
ana lifted her chin. “Sir, with all due respect, she was a gold digging troll looking for a free ride after her daddy lost everything.”
How did Lana know about that? I pulled up the story on Bobby I’d seen earlier. The timestamp was around noon, well after Katrina was fired. “How did you know about Bobby?” I asked.
She glared at me. “It was all over the Internet. I am the social media manager after all.”
“Did you leak that story?” I demanded, not backing down. “It was posted after you fired Katrina.”
Rhett’s eyes pierced into her. “What story?” he asked, holding his hand out for my phone.
I handed it to him, watching him as he read the details of Spaceman’s financial demise. “Did you leak this?” he asked Lana.
Her body language oozed with guilt. “No,” she insisted.
“Give me your phone, iPad, and laptop,” Rhett demanded.
“No. That’s my personal property,” she hissed, pushing the leather bag that hung on her hip toward her back.
Rhett chuckled, reached around her, and grabbed the bag she tried to conceal from him.
She growled and handed the bag over. “That’s fine. You can’t get into them without my passcode,” she smirked.
“You seem to forget that these devices are team property, and your passcodes are a quick phone call away,” Rhett said calmly as he dialed the tech department.
Lana shifted her weight from side to side, and fidgeted with her hands as Rhett unlocked her phone, and then her iPad. Her face turned paler than usual as Rhett gave her a disappointed look. “You’re fired,” he said without revealing what he’d found on her devices.
The woman turned scary mad and took a step toward him before seeming to think better of it. She snarled and turned on her heel, stomping down the hall.
“I need to speak to you,” Rhett said to me.
There was a pit in my stomach growing as I followed him. We made it to the bar, where Rhett pulled out a chair and sat down at a small table tucked in the corner. Great, privacy. Is this where he fires me?
“I’m not stupid. I knew you two were an item,” he said nonchalantly.