“Now she’s going all Buffy,” Cat remarked caustically.
“If we aren’t going to involve the authorities what other choice do we have?”
“How can we? That thing is dangerous?” Jason despaired.
Craig was pretty convinced Kelly hadn’t included Jason in the idea of striking back, but the lad was only voicing what he and the others were probably thinking.
“I have a feeling I can be dangerous too.” Cat grinned darkly.
Craig didn’t doubt that at all.
“Then we move against it,” Rachel declared resolutely.
“What with?” Jason insisted.
Rachel got up from the table and disappeared out into the hallway and rummaged through a large ottoman. Craig puzzled at her before answering Jason. “There’s weapons all around us everyday. Think of all the harmful things you’re told not to play with; dangerous liquids, flammables and pointed things.”
“We need a plan then,” Kelly suggested.
Rachel returned to the group and delivered a large two-handed sword crashing onto the table. “Seize the day…”
Craig was emboldened by the strength of Rachel’s conviction, but he finished her quote in his head: “For tomorrow we die…”
Chapter Thirty Six
Kelly rested against the quilted headboard of Rachel’s bed, her seat parked on the pillow, her knees hugged up to her chest. In the orange gloom the little tasselled table lamp gave out from the bedside table she waited for Rachel to return. The others would be moving about the flat and turning in now too, Cat had refused to take up her old bedroom so Craig had taken it, Kelly had wanted to join him but the idea frightened her, and things were different between them now. Cat and Jason were going to share the sofa cushions laid out on the floor. Rachel’s room was like the rest of the flat, dated décor furnished with old furniture, not antiques but pieces that were made about fifty of sixty years ago and required craftsmanship – not a flat-pack in sight. It reminded her of how her grandparent’s house had looked. Well-decorated and furnished, but lived in and not maintained for several decades.
It had been a harrowing day, and the evening had presented its own difficulties through the five of them discussing, mostly arguing, what they should do and who should do it. She could feel the physical and psychological exhaustion drawing on her weary body and mind. The option of doing nothing and waiting the storm out had seemed an easy and rational option considering they were seemingly safe and hidden from the reach of the tower and the threat of its stalkers. Yet the knowledge that others were in danger and that the five of them alone had faced what others would consider fantasy or madness, had fuelled them and left them with a burden of responsibility and the sense that they were the only ones that would be prepared to do what needed to be done.
Craig had shared Kelly’s unease, but had objected little to the risks of their ideas and seemed to be happy to go along with everything considered or decided. Kelly had been unsure of Rachel’s thoughts and feelings because although Rachel had taken the initial lead her composure had gradually been eroded under the wear of Cat’s arbitrary digs and attacks, and she had grown quiet and distant. Her natural authority had diminished and she had flinched warily each time Cat spoke, a shadow or resignation in her grey eyes. Cat was fully aware of her deference and had taken advantage of it.
Kelly tried to bolster Rachel as much as possible, but acting outside of the law and the possibility of endangering anyone but herself was uncomfortable, and she found it impossible not to be the grounded rational voice in their brainstorming session, which meant the cohesion of the group was left to a fraying Rachel. Especially when Cat had been irresponsibly supportive of Jason’s wish, a child’s wish, to be involved in their dangerous plans. Rachel’s protests were weak in her subdued state, and Craig’s lack of standing and seeming unwillingness to rock the boat had left Kelly fighting alone, aware that the strength of her argument had alienated her into a lonely no-man’s land. The frustration and anger still knotted Kelly’s insides, however despite the danger and the madness of it all, they had eventually settled on a plan.
The door nudged open and Rachel stepped around it with two mugs held in front of her. She closed the door behind her by walking backwards and pressing herself against it. Dressed in a fleecy dressing gown buttoned up to her neck, and with a floor length flannel night gown beneath, Rachel looked older than Kelly had thought she was. Kelly took the drink that was offered to her and Rachel rounded the bed and set her mug amongst the clutter on her bedside cabinet. She peeled back her side of the quilted nylon bed cover as much as she could with Kelly sitting on it and got under the covers. “You turning in?”
“In a bit. Thanks for the drink.” Kelly raised her mug to Rachel in a silent toast of thanks.
It had only been the middle of the evening when they had all finished discussing what they would do about the things at The Heights, and no one had been keen on the idea of going to bed, it was the kind of night you would only sleep if you were really tired, the wild ideas they had had and the dangerous plans they had made were enough to keep sleep at bay. Kelly was thankful to Rachel for suggesting playing poker, it had proved a good distraction and kept their interactions with each other focussed around the game. Cat did manage to get some snipes at Rachel, but for the most part she shared her cards with Jason, teaching him the rules and joking with him as if they had been long-time friends and not the practical strangers they were. Cat and Craig were competitive with each other, teasing each other with their tells whenever they thought the other was bluffing, one would lord it when they won, while the loser would demand another chance to win and get vengeance.
Strangely, after the unusual things they had discussed and the outrageous things she had agreed to go along with that evening, it was Cat and Craig’s banter that Kelly kept returning to. She had tried to join in with them on the game, but although she played well, where she was in the turn sequence limited her interaction with Craig, and the hands they were dealt kept them out of the game with each other, as if the game had conspired against them. She had felt a little like an outsider, when tonight of all nights Kelly needed to feel included. Even the casual conversation about science fiction in the early evening had left Kelly out of her depth and seemingly cut off from Craig, reinforcing her awareness of their tenuous relationship and age difference.
Cat had entered their group like a brick through a window. Kelly no longer felt as connected to Rachel and Craig as she had before and she knew that feeling was a reaction to Cat’s actions: Cat had made casual flirts with Craig but with her eyes on Kelly watching for a response, she made jibes at the police that scored some brief laughs with Craig and Jason, attacked her reluctance at breaking the law by labelling her ‘PC Goodie’ and ‘PC Jobsworth’ and challenged her self-imposed authority during Rachel’s impotency. Cat clearly felt threatened by Kelly and had systematically dealt with her.
Craig had retreated from playing an active role in the plans, clearly intimidated by Cat, he had stopped trying to reassure her while she eased herself into accepting the madness. When Cat wasn’t being hostile he seemed to get on quite well with Cat. Kelly had less of a share of Craig now.
The way that insecurity felt was identical to the way it had felt when she had been married to Ian, and it scared her that she could feel that way again when she had put so much distance between him, her and that time, and the way she had been back then. She had become human again through Craig, she had allowed herself to trust, to desire again, she had started a journey that she had thought she wouldn’t or couldn’t make again and now she had lost him to Cat. Even if she could compete she didn’t how to. She didn’t have the fight in her. She was angry at herself for letting her defences down and being so pathetic when so much was at stake, her defences were back now and so strong it was hard to even talk to him. Kelly knew she was pushing him away, backing off quietly and undoubtedly unnoticed.
“Are you okay, dear?”
Kelly rested her head on her knees and faced Rachel. “It depends how you define ‘okay’.”
“Yes, quite.” Rachel admitted grimly, pursing her lips.
“If okay is the numbed state that comes from learning that monsters are real, and then making plans to destroy them, then I’m there in that feeling.”
Rachel wrinkled her nose up. “Yes, I think that will have to be tonight’s definition of ‘okay’.”
“What if we are making a huge mistake?” Kelly leaned her head back against the wall. Resigning herself to all the doubts that lingered off-stage in her head. Rachel turned away, her eyes averted to the floor. “I’m sorry, I know I have said this several times tonight. It’s just that even if there are things in the basement of that building we could get hurt. And if there isn’t, then someone could still end up getting hurt doing what we are going to do.” She couldn’t even bring herself to speak directly of what they planned. Monsters or no monsters, tomorrow was going to be terrifying and dangerous. She found herself hoping they would find something, because she stood a chance of getting arrested and losing her job going along with all that they had decided. “Where did you get that sword from anyway?” Kelly changed tact to get away from the subject that would only distance her from Rachel and she didn’t want that.
“Oh that!” Rachel took Kelly’s lead appreciatively. “Well, I went to a Pagan wedding once, a good thirty odd years ago now, when I could pull off being in a forest in the middle of the night with nothing on but my knickers and goose-fat. The sword was part of the ceremony I think. I don’t remember much of the affair as it was freezing in the woods, the goose-fat was not as insulating as I was told, and I had drunk lots of brandy to keep me warm. I don’t know how, and I suspect the brandy had a little to play in this, but somehow I ended up coming home with the thing. I hope it’s the real article and won’t just break should I get to use it. Mind you, even if it does, it outlasted the marriage it was used within. I wonder what happened to them?”
“You don’t see them anymore?”
“No, dear. That was back when I thought my talent was a way of life. A lifestyle. It was short-lived. I have never felt too comfortable with religion, with all its dictates and ceremony.”
“I’m surprised. I would have thought your talent and spirituality would go hand in hand.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I am a spiritual person, my ability which is currently beyond scientific explanation makes it hard for me to reconcile myself with the cold logic of atheism, but I don’t see how my ability particularly connects me with religion either, especially how religion has so many different opinions on the afterlife, and some of them actually quite critical of people like myself.”
“What do you believe in then?”
“I guess that I believe in people, I have faith in the potential for goodness and greatness in all people. A humanist.”
Kelly raised her eyebrows. “A day in my job might ruin that for you.”
“Quite possibly, but I think it is what I see with my other vision that maintains my faith. Spirits that are aware of their passing are often changed with the experience, the living people that I am connecting them to often find it difficult to equate them with the one they lost. Those spirits are released from their material and psychological trappings and are just themselves, honest and open to those they have left behind. Something us mortals hardly ever are. No one (including ourselves sometimes) truly knows the real us.”
“The openness and honesty sounds nice.” If not a little frightening. It had been some time since Kelly had been honest with herself, but she was trying to get to know herself again. “This faith you have in people, is that why you let Cat say the things she does?”
“Yes.” Rachel lowered the mug into her lap and her voice softened. “Yes, it is.”
“Did you hear what she…” Kelly stopped herself; of course Rachel had heard what had been said about her, Cat had made sure she did. “You shouldn’t put up with that.”
“She’s emotional.”
“Just because she’s emotional it doesn’t give her the right to attack you like that.”
“She lost her mother. The only thing she had.” Rachel snapped. Tears gathered in her eyes and her face took on an instant expression of guilt for her tone.
Kelly gave her time to collect her emotions. “She has you.”
“I’m not her mother.” It sounded like a confession to herself as much as an explanation. “I have wanted to reach her on some level for eighteen months now. She doesn’t want me.”
“Perhaps you should leave her to it. After what she came out with I don’t know why you bother.”
“I bother.” Rachel took a deep breath, wiped her tears away and faced Kelly with a renewed strength of resolve. “I bother because I believe there is some good in ninety-nine percent of all people. That’s one thing I have learnt talking to my ‘friends’, they always have regrets when they pass. That’s why I take it. I won’t let her drive me away. She’s an angry child, angry at losing her mother. She’s lost one person that cares for her; I won’t let her lose another one. I have to be here if she needs me.”
Kelly felt a pull of shame in her stomach and looked away into the shadows of the room.
Rachel chuckled to herself. “I just hope she isn’t a complete bitch until I drop dead.”
“I’m sorry I hit Cat.”
“Don’t worry,” Rachel waved the apology away. “Just something I could only ever think of doing. Might have done her some good. Just as long as you are okay.”
Kelly nodded and waited to see if Rachel would talk about how Kelly had ended up on the floor. It didn’t look like she would. “The way she retaliated. I find it frightening.”
Rachel fixed Kelly in a long stare. “She could be the key to stopping this. An otherworldly power against an otherworldly threat.”
Kelly nodded.
“As frightening as that may be.” Rachel agreed after some time.
“How did you two ever end up with the relationship you have?”
“Oh, it wasn’t always like this. Until her mother died it was nothing like this. I was a family friend. No, that sounds too distant; a good friend of Catherine’s mother and like an unofficial aunt to Catherine. We were always doing things together, just the three of us.” Rachel looked lost in fond memory. “I loved her mother,” she hastened to correct herself: “I love her mother so much. Her death didn’t end that.”
“We met in hospital in the maternity ward, Helen and I. We were in beds next to each other. I was a little old to be having a baby and there was a worry of complications, so I had been sent to hospital a week prior to my due date. Helen was on the ward early too, for monitoring due to complications. It can be very boring in hospital but we got on so well, I can honestly saw there wasn’t a dull moment while I was in her company. She could laugh easy and hard but she had a touching maturity, most definitely brought about by Cat’s father ending their relationship as soon as she got pregnant. He decided he didn’t want the responsibility of fatherhood. Didn’t want the commitment. Cat is of the understanding that they fell out while she was still a baby. Truth is he did a bunk as soon as Helen started to show signs of being pregnant. I went into labour two days before Helen. Helen’s father was estranged and her mother had died a few years before. She was alone. So I stood by Helen for the birth and pretty much in raising Cat too. You see although my delivery went well my baby didn’t make it through its first night. I had a little girl.”
Rachel sensed Kelly’s well of sympathy and waved her down before she could talk or attempt to offer comfort.
“I was there for Helen when it was her big day. It seemed important to me somehow. She had a girl. Helen asked what I had called my baby – and she asked if she could use the name so that I would know there was still a little Catherine out there that owed something to me.”
“I understand why you keep trying to reach her.”
“My partner left a little while after we found
it would be too dangerous for me to attempt to bear children. He desperately wanted something I couldn’t give him. Adoption wouldn’t have been enough for him. It was painful but I let him go. I had Helen, and I had Cat and they filled the gap left by my Catherine and my partner. Helen and I stayed friends until cancer took her from us nearly two years ago.” Rachel fixed Kelly with a look of desperation. “I did love her though – Helen that is. I don’t know what that makes me.” Rachel finally broke eye-contact. “Perhaps it’s as Cat says,” she stated dismissively.
“Not everything needs to be labelled. And what Cat said and the way she said it doesn’t describe the love you felt for Helen. It’s just spite and resentment at what you and Helen had. Cruel words for something beautiful.” This time Kelly didn’t let Rachel wave her comforting away and she put an arm around her and pulled her close and let her cry her wracking sobs against her chest.
Chapter Thirty Seven
Craig glanced furtively over the bushes while Kelly crouched by a pile of gas cylinders waiting for his help in lifting one, she let out a sigh, but he ignored her. The denuded land was between a row of shops that were heavily armoured with metal security grills and a playground surrounded by a pen of chain-link fencing. Kelly had told him there had been houses there that had been pulled down for a new development but it had fallen through and nothing had been done with it, so it had become over-grown and collected derelicts and fly-tipped waste. The gas cylinders had been dumped there but the Council had yet to do anything with them, Kelly had suggested they procure them.
“Come on,” she huffed with little tolerance.
“We don’t want to get caught.”
“No we don’t, but you standing there like a meerkat peering over the only cover we have is only going to draw attention to us.”
He dropped to his haunches and took hold of the cylinder and they hauled it over to the car. “Considering we are strapping gas cylinders to a Yugo I didn’t think we were worrying about being conspicuous.”
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